No matter, thought John. He knew it would take time.
All night long on my bed
I looked for the one my heart loves;
I looked for him but did not find him.
I will get up now and go about the city,
Through its streets and squares;
I will search for the one my heart loves.
So I looked for him, but did not find him.
Song of Songs 3:1-2
CHAPTER FOUR
Shona crossed the soft grass, her mind oblivious to everything but what lay ahead, her heart all but screaming with every step. She had no way to describe the emotions which welled up from inside her whenever he was near, nor could she think of any logical explanation why she needed him so much. But she knew that without him, she would surely die.
The little boy jumped and chased several hounds in the grass behind a two-story stone house, just where she knew he would be. His black hair glistened in the sunshine and flew about as he played, his bright green eyes shining with mischief and laughter. Thankfully no one would come out of the house to disturb him. No one ever did. They would be alone.
Shona was perfectly content to stand and watch him, not allowing her presence to be known. Not yet. But oh how she wanted to join him. He was having such a good time. Perhaps if she eased toward him slowly he would not be as frightened of her as she sensed he would. Perhaps if she gave him just a tiny glimpse of her, he would not feel compelled to run away. He might even speak to her, if she were very lucky. She took another step in his direction and willed her presence upon him, the dogs able to sense her immediately.
The boy looked around himself, turning a complete circle as he tried vainly to see what had upset his grandfather’s hounds. They barked wildly at a spot to his left, yet nothing was there, nor did he see anything emerging from the trees beyond the house. What could be bothering them? What had they sensed?
He spoke to the dogs soothingly in an attempt at calming them, and they quieted except for an occasional whine or two as he again searched his surroundings. He continued talking to them in his mother tongue, its pleasant rolling sound calming not only the animals but capturing Shona as well. Its lilt embedded itself in her soul and settled to take root, as if committing her to its sound.
She willed her presence forward, asking him to come.
The boy flinched slightly before he turned around slowly to face her, his features frozen in place. Afraid to look him in the eye, she stared at the grassy glen instead, her long hair blowing all about her. Carefully, with as much restraint as could be mustered, she looked up at him.
A fierce possessiveness came over Shona as she gazed at him and it reached the boy in a gentle caress. She knew the sensation frightened him, though he didn’t show it, his eyes filled with curiosity and wonder instead. She afforded him some reassurance by channeling the possessiveness into need. Let him feel her need for him, she thought. Perhaps he would be more receptive and allow her to play with him. She just wanted to be his friend and she was lonely. Could he not come to her?
But something told Shona that now was not the time. Danger lurked nearby. She could suddenly sense it and reminded herself she had other things to do. She must get what she came for or suffer later. She too had to survive, to be protected, or she would die. Hunted down by the horrible emptiness and the master that drove it. Again, she didn’t know how she knew, she just did. She had to do what her heart told her and do it quickly; time was running out.
The boy took a hesitant step toward her. She smiled. Hurry, she thought, please hurry. There is little time and I must go soon.
He took another step, still indecisive. Hurry! Shona hoped her urgency did not frighten him, but she could feel the first twinges of a dark searing pain, pain that would consume her if he did not give her what she needed, quickly. Please …
She fought the urge to bolt into the nearby forest. To run from the emptiness as it now began to deepen, pulling her into it ever so slowly. Hurry…
The boy quickly glanced around, sensing the danger as well, then took another step, more confident as his decision was made. He shuddered and she knew he felt what had her in its grip. With a determined stance he looked deeply into her eyes, her very core, and committed her image to memory. He knew to lock it away deep within himself to plant the seed of her identity in his soul. When fully grown, it would serve to recognize her when it came time to join her heart forever with his. But he had to give her something, something that would allow that recognition to take place, something of his that would be easily recognizable once he saw it again. Shona knew there was only one thing that would work. As did he.
The emptiness suddenly tightened its hold and she gasped as if choked. The boy quickly held his gift out to her and she reached for it gratefully, taking it from him with the utmost care, clutching the fragile treasure protectively and allowing it time to adjust to its new home, all the while letting him know she would guard what he gave her with her very life. No harm would come to his gift as long as she was alive, and though the pain assailing her would have it otherwise, that would be for a very long time.
Time! She had to go. No, please not yet. Please let me stay with him, just a little while longer. I do not want to go!
But her heart bade her to go, and she was unable to disobey. She turned to leave, glancing back once to smile at the boy who stood and smiled in return, pleased she had liked his gift enough to take and keep it. Now she could rest, the emptiness leaving her. It would stay away until she had to find him again and return the gift he had so unselfishly given to her. For by then it would be grown into and joined with her to become something new. For now, it would protect her and keep her safe until the time came to give back the most precious gift she could ever receive.
His heart.
* * *
Shona sat bolt upright in bed unable to comprehend or place the horrible sound engulfing her. It brutally shook the usually solid timber of her consciousness, allowing confusion to flood in between the cracks.
Yet just as suddenly, the horrid noise stopped.
“Really, Shona, I wish you would learn to either turn your alarm off or use a clock with a snooze button. This one has the most annoying sound I have ever heard! How can you stand to wake up to this thing every morning?”
Shona looked dumbly from the alarm clock on her nightstand to her mother at her bedside, a scream now lodged belligerently in her throat, its displeasure at not being released evident as a dull ache began to throb in the same area.
“Were you up late again last night?” Her mother inquired, concerned. “You look pale.”
Shona shook her head numbly in response as disappointment made its timely descent into her heart. She had woken up, or rather had been woken up, the little boy once again left far behind. And they had been communicating in the dream, he’d done something. She could never remember many of the details, only him. And now he was gone. The thought was heart-wrenching, and she clutched the edge of her quilt to fight off the horrible sense of loss which was crazy in itself. They were only dreams …
“Are you sure you’re all right?” Maggie Whittard asked again as she sat on the bed. “Are you up to going to town today?”
Shona gazed at her mother and prayed her face had looked like a normal human being’s when she entered the room. She assumed so, as the woman was not screaming in horror. “What… what about Julia?”
Maggie’s dark eyes grew soft before she gave her a gentle smile. “It’s Saturday. Julia doesn’t tutor today.”
Shona looked at the handful of quilt, its soft colors calming her. “Oh,” she began numbly. “I forgot.”
Maggie studied her a moment as if weighing something, then the look was gone. “I think,” she began as she shifted her position, making the bed creak slightly, “that you need to get up and dressed. Then you and I are going to go out for breakfast. After which we can go round up Kitty-kat, if you like, and do a little shopping at the mall.” Her dark eyes
sparkled, coaxing a smile from Shona who slowly pushed aside the dream, the longing slipping away, almost as if her mother could chase it off.
“I would like that.” Shona whispered. Maybe getting out would calm the rest of her nerves.
“Good. You’ve been studying too hard and could use the break.” Maggie sprang to her feet and spun to face Shona like a cheerleader, sending her dark hair flying. “We do the town today!”
Shona raised a brow at her.
“Too enthusiastic for you?” Maggie teased then sobered. “Yes, well. I’ll just mosey along and let you get ready.”
Shona smiled and marveled at her mother. She hoped she looked as good when she reached forty-eight. Maggie Whittard was a stunning woman and everyone whom she met always told Shona and her father just that. She was also the proud possessor of a fierce Irish temper, a classic trait Shona was thankful she had not inherited, though many assumed she did using her multi-colored reddish hair as the indicator. “I will have to give Kitty a call and see what she is doing,” she replied. “Who knows what she is up to today.”
Maggie calmed at the thought, a pained look on her face. “You do that.” She turned to leave the room, then looked back, her face full of an emotion Shona couldn’t quite recognize.
“Is something the matter?” Shona asked, concerned. “Or are you just dreading Kitty?”
“No, nothing’s wrong. Call Kitty. I’ll be downstairs…” she wriggled her eyebrows playfully, “wrestling with your father.” She then bounded out of the room.
Shona rolled her eyes, got wearily out of bed, and looked around for the faded jeans she had thrown off the night before. She could still feel the lingering effects of the dream, but they were not too unpleasant as yet; the alarm clock having wakened her before the dream had the chance to turn bad. For that she was grateful, and patted the clock in a silent thank-you before getting dressed.
Downstairs, Shona’s father sat at the kitchen table looking slightly disheveled, evidence her mother had indeed been wrestling with him while getting herself ready. Shona looked at him, one eyebrow raised in question.
Evan Whittard took it as an accusation. “Hmmph,” he grunted into his morning paper. “Wait until you’re married. You’ll look like this, too.” He glanced at her. “Now and then, anyway.”
The candid statement brought up her other eyebrow. She swallowed and quickly turned away. Evan peeked at her over his paper and chuckled to himself. He loved to make her blush; heaven knew he couldn’t make his wife do that. “So buttercup, where are you off to today?” he asked still amused.
Shona abruptly stopped her digging through a cupboard full of fancy teacups and saucers. He’d not called her ‘buttercup’ in years. “Breakfast, Kitty, shopping.”
“Sounds like a fast day. Want to slow it down a little for me?” His paper rustled as he spoke, the sound loud in Shona’s ears.
“Breakfast, I do not know where. Kitty, I do not know what time. Shopping…” she looked at him and smiled broadly, a monumental feat of late for her. “I do not know how much.”
Evan groaned, folded his paper and slapped it on the table. “You’ve been hanging around that darn Kitty too long. If you and your mother are taking that spendaholic with you, make sure you get an early start. It takes that kid three hours just to figure out what store to go into first. And then she never stops! I feel sorry for the poor bast…”
“Dad!” Shona exclaimed, shocked and a little hurt at his sudden attack on her friend. Although it was all true.
“All right. But I still feel sorry for the poor… guy that ends up married to her. I hope he’s got good credit.” He picked up the paper again and hid behind it, pretending to read.
Shona, satisfied she had quelled the little verbal foray against Kitty, turned to the tea canister.
“He’s gonna need it,” came her father’s mumbled statement from behind the paper. Shona turned again and eyed him, or at least the top of his graying head, the only thing showing above the paper’s rim. Coward.
“I heard that,” she said flatly.
Evan Whittard peeked over his paper, his blue eyes glistening, and grinned. “I know.”
Shona promptly threw a tea bag at him, hitting the paper instead.
“Oh boy! Are we picking on your father this morning already?” Maggie asked, coming into the kitchen in time to see the tea bag land with a small thump on the table.
“You forget you already did?” Evan retorted. “No fair two against one.”
Maggie planted herself in his lap, putting her arms around his neck. “Here, I’ll protect you, dear. Shona will have to go through me if she wants to get to you.”
Shona turned and stared at them in her odd scholastic sort of way, her voice matching her look. “It seems to me that it is still two against one. Only now I seem to be the one.”
The tone brought both her parent’s attention to her. She stood looking at them, one eyebrow raised inquisitively. Maggie and Evan glanced at each other both knowing Shona’s mood swings were becoming more and more frequent. Hot to cold, surging emotions then nothing. It was something they had been told to watch out for.
Maggie extracted herself from her husband’s lap and stood. “Are you ready?” she asked Shona.
“Yes.” Shona turned toward the counter again, putting back the cup she had taken from the cupboard, abandoning the idea of tea. “Let us go.”
Evan walked them to the door and kissed them both good-bye. Shona felt oddly detached at his brief peck on the cheek and wondered why she was feeling that way around him lately. She didn’t feel that way around her Mother. In fact, she was feeling increasingly more comfortable around her, whereas her father ... it was as if he was becoming more distant, or distanced, from her. The relationship had not changed. What could be making her feel this way?
Maggie interrupted Shona’s thoughts as they pulled out of the driveway. “Julia will be by this evening. She said she has something to tell us.”
“Did she say what it was?” Shona asked as they drove down from the west hills of the city into downtown.
“No, but I have a strong feeling it has something to do with that European university she’s been in contact with lately.”
“The one in France?”
Maggie threw a smile at her. “That’s the one. Excited?”
Shona stared out her window and watched the expensive old homes pass by. “I do not really know,” she replied quietly.
“Well, no use jumping to any conclusions until we hear what Julia has found out about them. Let’s not worry about it now.” Maggie looked at Shona. “Are you sure you feel all right?”
“I am sure.” Shona’s voice was weak as she fought for some semblance of control, the waves of emptiness hitting her harder by the minute. They had come so fast she could think of nothing to defend herself with. She didn’t want to break down in front of her mother, and certainly didn’t want her mother finding out what was wrong. If that happened, any hope of getting out of her parent’s house and claiming her own freedom would be gone. She concentrated on Julia and the news she held. If Shona could get accepted to this new university, her dream of going abroad, not to mention just getting out of the house, could at last be realized.
Shona Elsey Whittard loved her parents, loved her home, her few friends and her music. She had a lot; everything she could possibly ask for, some would say. Except for the freedom to run her own life and make her own decisions. She had so many people telling her how envious they were of her singing talent. But if all her competitors and fellow musicians only knew that Julia and her mother ran the show, made the recital and concert schedules, handled everything from the time she got up until the time she went to bed, they might not be so envious. Or would they? She supposed she didn't know or care anymore.
What Shona did know was, she was tired of her life. Other girls her age, including Kitty, were all in their second year of college while she was still under her mother's and Julia's educational thumbs. Other g
irls went to parties. Shona was stuck at home watching Masterpiece Theater or studying some sort of cultural etiquette that Julia insisted she learn. Other girls dated. Shona, not really interested in the opposite sex at the moment anyway, was still jealous of the freedom of choice normal girls had. More than once Kitty had made the comment, "Geez Shona, are your parents planning on sending you to a convent or what?"
Or what indeed, she mused feeling as if she was to be sent somewhere. She could speak four languages for crying out loud and was working on a fifth. She spoke proper English. Something others teased her about. And she was well tutored by Julia as to what was acceptable for a young lady to do or say in not only the twentieth century, but the fifteenth through nineteenth centuries as well. On the other hand, she could also fence and land a man smack on his back in the wink of an eye. "Martial arts and fencing are excellent workouts." Julia would exclaim along with, "A girl can't be too careful now a days! It's best to know how to defend one's self."
Careful? If she counted, Shona could come up with at least a dozen ways she'd been taught how to land a man in the dirt! A lot of good all that training had done her though when she really needed it …
Shona shuddered and pushed the incident she was about to think of aside as her mother pulled up in front of their first stop. She looked longingly at all the normal people inside eating and chatting away. She continued to watch them as she got out of the car, choked back the cold emptiness she'd learn to battle over the last few months, and told herself she'd just have to accept the facts. It was, after all, the logical thing to do.
There were no if ands or buts. She wasn't some astounding musical sensation to be envied. She was a freak.
* * *
The Whittard women ate breakfast then headed to the town’s northeast side to pick up Kitty. Maggie chatted pleasantly while Shona contemplated where she might need to throw up. The strange all-consuming emptiness which often encompassed her, tightened its hold every now and then, threatening to suck the life from her. Just when she thought she could stand it no longer, it would be gone. Or was it? Logic, logic, there has to be an explanation! She kept telling herself as they drove the last few blocks before finally arriving at their second destination of the morning.
Time Masters Book One; The Call (An Urban Fantasy, Time Travel Romance) Page 6
