Gillian stood and guided her friend out the door. “Or you could halve your order. Half red roses and half white.”
“That’s a brilliant solution, but unfortunately, I’m not just trying to decide between white and red roses.”
Gillian pressed the button for the elevator. “You’re not?”
Cindy shook her head. “Don’t get me wrong, the flowers are gorgeous. I just don’t know if that’s really the kind of centerpiece I want.”
As they walked into the elevator, Gillian held her arm up against the metal entrance to keep the doors from closing on them. “Well, what would you prefer?”
Cindy groaned as the elevator doors closed. “If I knew that, I wouldn’t be so stuck.”
They walked for about ten minutes before they got to the restaurant and were seated in a booth near the doors to the mall entrance which gave them a perfect view of the Christmas display and the ice skating rink across the street.
Gillian tugged the scarf from around her neck as she settled into the booth. “Sounds like we need to give the centerpieces a bit of a rest if they’re giving you so much trouble. Tell me about the other wedding plans. Does Richard have any plans for who he’s asked to be his groomsmen?”
Gillian hated herself for asking the question she and Cindy had danced around for weeks, but it was crunch time now. No matter how painful the answer, Gillian needed to know who she would be working with at this wedding.
Cindy’s gaze flicked up to meet Gillian’s. “You mean, like Peter?”
Gillian flushed and pretended to look at the menu. “I mean, does he have any friends that he’s going to ask to be groomsmen?”
Cindy gave her a pointed look as if to tell her how ridiculous she sounded. “No, Gillian. I made him give up all of his friends when we started dating. He has no one but my brother to be his groomsman. Of course, Richard has people he’s asked to be his groomsmen.”
Gillian rolled her eyes. “You don’t have to be so sarcastic about it.”
“Well, if you’d just be direct and ask me what you want to know, I wouldn’t have to rely on my sarcasm.”
Cindy took a sip of the ice water a waiter had dropped off at the table. “You want to know if Peter’s going to be a groomsman.”
Heat radiated off of Gillian’s face as she nodded once. That was all the satisfaction she was to give the bride at this moment.
Cindy exhaled and set her menu aside.
Gillian wasn’t sure what was worse: that her friend’s teasing had ebbed or that she seemed to be steeling herself against an unpleasant task.
“What happened between you two?”
Tears stung Gillian’s eyes.
I am the vice president of a respected mid-level publishing house. I’m not going to cry.
“Believe me, I’d tell you if I could.”
Gillian set the menu aside, deciding not to try something seasonal but to go with her standard Fried Egg BLT sandwich order.
Cindy bit her lip. “I don’t mean to pry. I just thought that maybe if you could get it off your chest, you’d feel a little better.”
Gillian took a sip of her own ice water. “No, you don’t understand. I don’t know what happened. One minute, we’re helping you get into the Uber. Then, we’re trying to explain things to Richard before he calls the national guard to try and locate you.”
She looked up in time to see a shadow pass over her friend’s face. In her haze, she’d forgotten just how painful that night had been to Cindy.
Her heart sank. She’d put her foot in her mouth. Would she never learn? She’d hurt someone she’d cared about just by opening her mouth.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that the way it sounded.”
Cindy waved it away. “I ran away. Not my finest moment, but it happened. Then what?”
“Richard was so concerned with getting the business squared away and finding you that Peter said he had complete control of the car service.”
The laughter Gillian and Peter had shared in the back of the town car and the kiss she’d offered him on the doorstep of her townhome came back as if they had happened only a moment earlier. Her heart squeezed with emotion.
What she wouldn’t give to make the pain stop.
“Anyway, Peter took me home, and the next day, I got a note in my mailbox that he’d flown back to England to celebrate Christmas with his family.”
A waiter came to take their orders, and Gillian gave a silent prayer of thanks that she would have a minute to regain her composure before she delved into the worries which she kept shoving aside as she learned the ropes in her new job.
Cindy waited until after the server left before she spoke again. “I knew that much of the story, or at least most of it. What happened after that?”
Gillian sighed and played with the straw in her glass. “I was a little afraid that maybe he was married. That when he said he was going home to his family, he was going to be with his wife and their kids.”
Cindy shook her head even before Gillian finished. “Richard would never have done that to you. If he didn’t tell you himself, he would have told me, and I would have told you.”
Gillian offered her a thin smile. “I know that now, but just remember. Right then, I didn’t really know much more about Richard than that he had lied to the entire staff of Fortescue Publishing.”
“And that he had somehow convinced Peter to go along with it.”
Gillian’s eyes dropped to the napkin in her lap as she nodded.
Sounds of silverware dropping into cleaning buckets as holiday shoppers twittered outside hung in the air between the two friends as the conversation lagged.
“Richard asked Peter to be his best man.”
Gillian’s eyes flew up to her best friend. Her heartbeat thundered in her ears. “What?”
Cindy exhaled as if she had been dreading this moment for years instead of weeks or months. “Richard asked Peter to be his best man at the wedding. He asked him on the same day I asked you to be my maid of honor.”
Gillian forced a smile as if pretending to be happy would make her feel less exposed and vulnerable than she really felt. “That makes sense. I mean, he trusted Peter when he went undercover in his father’s company. I think that right there says something about the trust they have built.”
A trust she could only dream of.
The ache which crested over her from time to time reached its apex again with those few words.
“Gillian, I’m sorry.”
Gillian laughed without mirth and shook her head. “You? What do you have to be sorry for? You’re not the one who left without giving me your number. You’re not the one who convinced your best friend to lie about who he was so you could do recon on your own company.”
Cindy reached her hand across to Gillian’s hand. “I’m not apologizing because I did anything wrong. I’m apologizing because I didn’t realize how much this affected you until now. I really should have.”
Gillian shook her head. “I didn’t even realize how much it had affected me until you announced you were getting married, and I realized I’d have to see him again.”
She shrugged. “It was probably a good thing that I got a promotion so soon after everything that happened. I had my hands full just trying to keep up.”
“And after Richard and I got engaged?”
Gillian’s throat tightened. “I realized everything was going to change.”
Cindy’s eyes narrowed in confusion, and Gillian clarified. “Good changes, you know, but I’ve had enough friends get married to know that no matter how close you are, marriage changes everything.”
Understanding dawned in her friend’s eyes, and she reached out to squeeze her fingers.
Gillian sank against the wooden booth. “That made me think about how I’d let my life get controlled by my job, and I realized how empty I was because of that. That’s when I thought about Peter again, and I realized that maybe I’d thrown myself into my work because I didn’t want to face a
life without him.”
“Are you’re saying you became a workaholic so you’d have a reason not to date?”
The pity in Cindy’s eyes was becoming more and more unbearable, and Gillian squirmed under the weight of her gaze. “I won’t make a scene at your wedding, if that’s what you’re worried about.”
Cindy’s brow furrowed. “I’m not—”
“Look, I’m an executive in a publishing house.”
Where was all this anger coming from? It was spewing from her mouth faster than she could process it.
“I don’t need your fiancé’s friend. I just needed to find some balance again.”
“Gill—”
Gillian stood up which distracted her friend the way she’d hoped. “Look, I appreciate that you wanted to ask me about being your maid of honor. Sure. Happy to help.”
“Gillian.”
Anger cleared Gillian’s head, and she was almost relieved to feel the strong emotion cut through the fog of her insecurities. “I need a cup of coffee before I head to my budget meeting. Do you mind leaving my lunch on my desk?”
Cindy sighed as she nodded. “If that’s really what you want.”
“Thanks.”
Cindy reached out a hand and put it on Gillian’s arm. “If you change your mind and you want to talk, you know where to find me.”
Gillian’s lips twitched as if they were going to curl into a smile. “I think the maid of honor is supposed to say that to the bride, not the other way around.”
Her eyes softened as she looked at her friend. It wasn’t fair to be so stringent no matter the reason, but it was the only way she could keep functioning right now. The moment she really gave into the impulse to release, she wasn’t sure how long she’d be lost. “Thank you for saying it anyway.”
“I’m not just saying it, you know.” Cindy studied her eyes as if searching for an answer to an unspoken question. “You need to talk, you call me. I don't care what time it is.”
Gillian dropped a twenty dollar bill on the table. “Understood.”
Then, she escaped.
A Little Christmas Conflict
Need a Little Christmas Book Two
Coming Christmas 2020
OTHER BOOKS BY RACHEL A. ANDERSEN
The Lady of the Manor (Currently Out of Print)
Backward Blessings (Book Six in the Blessings of Love series)
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
A huge thank you to Jessica L. Elliott, Kelly Garcia, Danielle Thorne, Kit Morgan, and Allie Pleiter for inviting me to be a part of the multi-author Christmas fairy tale retelling compilation which gave birth to A Little Christmas Pretense.
In addition, I need to thank my family for putting up with me through deadline stress, frequent interruptions to read through a scene, and more than a few insecurities. Without their support, there would be no books.
Finally, I extend a special thanks and acknowledgment to the support and instruction I received from a variety of teachers and school support staff at public and private schools throughout the years, especially Mary Wheeler who worked in the attendance office at Park Hill High School while I attended there. Years after I’d attended, when she heard of my book, she sought me out and expressed her pride in my authorship. Then, she donated a copy of my book to the school library.
Even though that was ten years ago, I am still moved to tears by her kindness and enthusiasm for what can feel like a hard and lonely path.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
One of Rachel Andersen's favorite memories in college was when a music theory professor turned one of her exams back to her. With a twinkle in his eye, he said, "I can always tell that it's your paper because you have a story written on the back." She was just killing time after the ear training and aural skills portions of the test (where he played notes, and the students were to write down the interval or melody), but it hinted at a larger love. She loves stories. She loves reading them, she loves hearing them, she loves telling them, and she loves living them!
Growing up as the oldest of nine children, she used stories to make mundane (and sometimes disgusting) tasks fly by like when she quoted Disney movies for her youngest siblings while she changed diapers or got them dressed. Though the youngest sibling is a senior in high school, the quotes she pulled out of thin air are used as family jokes that rock the house with laughter.
Stories propelled her through difficult days in college. They sustained her through the stress of student teaching. They were her favorite time of day in elementary and early childhood classrooms.
Her only hope is that these stories bring you as much joy and pleasure as they bring her!
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