by Jodi Taylor
That went down about as well as you would expect. He sighed and came to sit beside me. I handed him his tea.
‘You know, that would have been so much more impressive if you hadn’t telephoned twenty times a day, driven a hundred miles to see me, and,’ I craned my neck to look at my bed, ‘brought chocolates, flowers, and what looks like a box full of goodies. If you wanted to thunder at me effectively, you really should have left them in the car.’
‘If ever anyone on this planet deserved …’ He stopped, gritting his teeth.
‘I know. If ever anyone deserved a bloody good thundering, it’s me.’
I got his crooked grin. ‘I’m so pleased you survived, because now I can murder you myself.’
‘Just don’t tear my stitches. Some come out tomorrow and the rest the next day. After that, I’m available for murdering and general abuse.’
He gave a huge sigh. ‘So, how are you?’
‘Better than you, I suspect. Bet you didn’t yell like that at Kal.’
‘Do I look like I have death wish?’
‘How is she?’
‘Not as well as you, but recovering.’
Long silence. Here we go.
I took a deep breath and said quietly, ‘Is it gone?’
‘Yes. Completely, totally, utterly gone. Destroyed beyond recall. Trust me.’
I nodded. I did trust him.
Taking a small, careful breath, I said, ‘So what was it? Any ideas?’
‘No, none at all. I’m sorry, love, but I don’t have an answer for you. Dr Dowson has scoured the Archive. There are mysteries and rumours the length and breadth of the timeline, but nothing he could positively identify. I think maybe you’re so used to getting out there and coming back with the answers that sometimes you forget – sometimes there’s no explanation. Because some things we’ll never know.’
‘Why wouldn’t it die?’
‘I don’t know. But it’s certainly dead now.’
‘Are you sure? I chopped its head off and it still didn’t die.’
Once again, my mind played pictures of the two of us, trapped in that tiny space with an unkillable thing … as it took its time with us … until finally our tortured bodies could endure no more, and then …
‘Stop that,’ he said sharply. ‘It has been destroyed. That’s the important thing. Completely destroyed.’
I nodded and sipped my tea.
‘I have to ask you this, Max. How did it manage to get into the pod? Did it force its way in?’
‘We didn’t see it. We couldn’t see it. I think … I think it’s like your pod. You know, your own pod. That’s not always visible, either.’
‘No, but you can’t see my pod because of a sophisticated, computer-operated camouflage system. This was different.’
‘What can I say? We didn’t see it. I think we opened the door too early, and it somehow got in behind us. We didn’t know it was there at all. And then, just as we were about to exit the pod, the muff moved and we realised …’ my voice trailed away as I re-lived that moment. ‘Didn’t Kal tell you any of this?’
He shook his head. ‘She did tell us a little but became – angry – and Helen threw us out.’
‘Angry? What did you say to her?’
‘Nothing. Nothing at all. I think she was angry with herself.’ He paused. ‘She’s a little like you. When you’re scared, you become angry. And she was very scared.’
I said quietly, ‘So was I,’ admitting it to myself for the first time. ‘So was it Jack the Ripper? They called him a monster. Maybe he really was.’
‘I don’t know. Its lack of visibility would account for the ease by which it was able to evade pursuit. Why no one ever saw anything. And there were no more murders attributed to the Ripper after that date. Myself, I think it must have been. But, whatever it was – it’s gone now. That’s all any of us need to know.’
‘Can you imagine what would have happened if it had got out of St Mary’s? The death toll? The panic? The damage it could do?’
‘But it didn’t. It didn’t get out of St Mary’s. This is why we have contamination procedures. And they work. Don’t waste time thinking about it. It’s destroyed. Dr Bairstow gave very explicit instructions.’
‘Why did he let us out? Why did he open the door? The regulations are very clear.’
‘Well, partly because we all thought you’d killed it. Partly because you were about to take matters into your own hands with Kal’s gun. Partly because the two of you were badly hurt and in need of urgent medical treatment, and partly, I think – well, you must know this, Max, he’s quite fond of the pair of you. I don’t think he could face …’
He stopped and then, not looking at me, said, ‘I don’t think he could face watching you die. And he would have, Max. He would have stayed with you to the end, talking to you, trying to help you, letting you know you weren’t alone, watching you die by inches – loss of blood, shock, thirst, whatever. And so would I. And Dieter. And Peterson. Most of the unit was packed into the monitor room, cheering you on when you took its head off.’
‘But it wasn’t dead.’
‘Well, we didn’t know that at the time. But it is now. Dead and gone. Don’t think about it any more. Later.’
‘No, let’s get it over with. I’ll give you my verbal report now.’
He fished out a small recorder and I gave him the bare bones of the mission, ending with my declaring a Code Blue. He knew all the rest. I felt exhausted when I’d finished.
He put down his tea, took mine off me, and pulled me on to his lap. I made myself comfortable.
‘Stop wriggling or I’ll embarrass us both.’
I took a deep breath. There was more to be said. ‘You do know it’s not just my face, don’t you?’
‘Well, I watched you nearly hack off your own feet. Your technique needs work.’
‘You saw that?’
‘We saw everything.’ Unconsciously, he tightened his grip. Without emotion he said, ‘When all the screaming started and you went down, I thought you were being butchered.’
He took a deep breath. ‘That was – not a good moment. Look, now is not the time, but when you’re well again, there’s something I want to talk over with you. Something important.’
‘That sounds serious. What’s the problem?’
‘No problem at all. And it’s not urgent.’
‘You said it was important.’
‘It is to me. You might have a different point of view.’
‘No, tell me now. You know how things can be at St Mary’s. How often do we get an opportunity to talk together? About something non pod-related, I mean.’
‘All right. I wanted to say …’
The door slid open, Peterson walked in, the moment was lost and I forgot all about it.
Chapter Five
A week later, I was as free as a bird. I packed up my few belongings, which now included a ten-foot-long scarlet snake with black felt eyes and a big green forked tongue. I’d made it from red stockings, stuffed and sewn together. The only sewing I’d ever done in my entire life. The stitching was erratic and the eyes lopsided. I still have it, curled up on the top shelf in my office.
Leon drove me back to St Mary’s. We drove slowly so we could have some time together.
He dropped me at the front door. ‘Go and see the Boss. He’s been a little – concerned.’
I bounced up the stairs. It was so good to be back.
Mrs Partridge sat at her desk. ‘Go straight in. He’s been at the window this last half hour.’
No, he wasn’t. He was at his desk, buried under paperwork. I skipped across the carpet radiating health and beauty.
‘Good afternoon, Dr Bairstow.’
He wrote on to the end of the line then looked up, his resemblance to a beaky bird of prey even more pronounced than usual.
‘Dr Maxwell. Why are you wearing a red snake in my office?’
‘Sorry, sir. Whose office should I be wearing it in?’
There was a bit of a silence.
‘I understand the medical profession has washed its hands of you.’
‘Yes indeed, sir. They’ve declared me perfect and there’s no more they can do for me. I’ve been released.’
‘I prefer the word unleashed.’
‘If you like, sir. I wouldn’t want to sully this happy moment by arguing with you.’
‘Let me take advantage of your generosity. Light duties for a month.’
‘Surely not, sir. They told me …’
‘Are you sullying the moment, Dr Maxwell?’
‘Perish the thought, sir. Just readjusting your perceptions.’
‘And exactly which of my perceptions need readjusting?’
‘So long as I don’t lift anything heavy, bend over, or stand on my head, then I can work normally.’
‘Really?’
‘Yes, sir. Of course, it puts the mockers on my sex life.’
He became engrossed in a report – about light bulb consumption as far as I could see from reading upside down. After a while, he looked up. ‘Still here, Dr Maxwell?’
‘Not any longer, sir,’ and whisked myself out. It was so good to be back.
It took me ages to get to Sick Bay. I stopped in the hall, greeted the members of my department working there, and caught up on recent jumps, who was where and when, and listened to all the ‘face like a football’ jokes. I looked in on Mrs Mack in the kitchen and took a couple of chocolate brownies for Kal and me. Various people stuck their heads out of various doors as I passed, and I could feel St Mary’s opening up around me and welcoming me home.
The warmth and excitement stayed with me all the way down the corridor, but I found climbing Sick Bay stairs more of an effort than it should have been. My legs felt heavy. My heart felt heavy. Everything looked the same but there was something … The drive must have tired me more than I thought.
Dr Foster was waiting. She showed no signs of being pleased to see me. Patients ranked slightly below earwax in her scheme of things. I did get a hug from Hunter and some ‘hamster face’ jokes. If ever you have something life-threatening or embarrassing happen to you, you can always be sure St Mary’s will treat you with sympathy, sensitivity, and support.
‘Let’s have a look at you,’ they said, shoving me into a treatment room.
‘Beautiful,’ said Helen, her face about two inches from mine.
‘Thank you,’ I said, beaming.
‘Not you, cloth-head. I was referring to the work. You, alas, look much the same as ever.’
‘Well, it’s not easy to improve on perfection. Certainly, no doctor could ever do so. Where’s Kal?’
‘In your usual room. We’re renaming it The Black and Maxwell Wing. You’ll be sleeping here tonight. In case your face drops off in the night.’
‘OK,’ I said, having expected that.
‘A word, before you go.’
‘What?’
She seemed unsure what to say. ‘Kal has not – made the same progress as you.’
‘Well, she was more seriously injured than me.’
‘On the face of it, yes. I’m not saying her injuries were superficial – they certainly weren’t, but her clothing and that corset did give her a certain amount of protection.’
I felt a sudden chill of unease. I looked around – for what, I’m not sure. She put her hand on my shoulder. ‘It’s all right, everything’s fine. She’s just not making her usual sparkling recovery. She’ll probably be fine once she’s seen you. She’s been asking all day. The Chief dropped your bag off here. Let’s go.’
It was a shock. I was glad she had warned me. Kal hunched against her pillows, grey-faced and heavy-eyed. Her fingers worked constantly at the covers and her eyes were never still.
‘Hey, buggerlugs,’ I said, sensitively. ‘You look like shit.’
She made a huge effort. ‘Well, shit is better than stupid. Why are you wearing a red snake?’
‘Why, what colour should it be?’
She made no reply.
I tried again. ‘You’re in my bed. I always have the one by the door.’
‘Well, I’ve got it now. You’ll just have to slum it in the corner. Just keep the noise down and let me sleep.’
Helen interrupted. ‘Max, stop annoying everyone and get into bed. Lunch will be along in a minute.’
‘I’m starving.’ I laid Pythagoras carefully across the window seat and said to Kal, ‘If you’re not hungry, can I have yours?’
‘No. What’s in the bag?’
‘Brownies from Mrs Mack. For me.’
‘Why you? What about me?’
‘I’m recuperating. You’re just lying around.’
I chucked the bag over and she took one. Helen watched her without seeming to. Kal looked at it, and then put it aside, untouched.
I climbed into bed just as lunch arrived. ‘I see the service is improving. After all these years, Helen, you finally seem to be getting the hang of patient care. I’m so proud.’
‘Eat, then sleep, or terrible things will happen to you.’ She left.
I wasn’t as hungry as I had thought and Kal ate virtually nothing. Farrell, Peterson, and Dieter turned up, but Kal’s listlessness and depression was infectious and I wasn’t good company either. I put it down to the long drive. They didn’t stay long. We watched a little television. Neither of us ate our suppers. By mutual consent, we turned out the lights and tried to sleep.
I didn’t think I would sleep, but I must have, because I dreamed. I dreamed I was wandering around St Mary’s. I was in the long corridor leading to Hawking Hanger, which, in the way of dreams, seemed far longer than it actually was. I floated like a ghost. Walls were insubstantial and I could see people going about their normal business. No one saw me. No one ever saw me.
I drifted silently up the stairs, head turning, sniffing her out, and always looking. Across the hall at the top. All these doors. She was here.
I chose the first door on the left, opposite the nurse’s station. The nurse didn’t look up. They never did. I passed silently through the door. Now both beds were occupied. One was an old friend. I would see her later. The other – had come back. As I knew she would. I stood at the bottom of her bed.
See me …
She opened her eyes and saw me. And screamed …
… I screamed. Bloody hell, how I screamed. I wasn’t alone. Kal screamed too. They must have heard us down in Hawking.
The door flew open and Hunter slapped the light switch. ‘What’s happening? What’s going on?’
The room was empty. I mean, there were just the three of us. No one stood at the foot of my bed. I fell back on the pillows, panting in fright. With trembling hands, I reached for a glass of water. Bloody hell, that was a bad one. I looked over to Kal. ‘Sorry I woke you. Bad dream.’
She said carefully, ‘Me too,’ and I remembered the simultaneous screaming.
Hunter said, ‘You both had bad dreams and woke each other up. You scared the shit out of me. I’ll go and make some tea.’
After she’d gone, I said to Kal, ‘A long corridor. Looking for something. Invisible. Soundless. Standing, watching me sleep.’
‘Yes! Thank God. Oh, thank God.’ She lay back on her pillows. ‘I thought I was going mad. Every day it gets worse. It’s getting stronger and it’s looking for me. It will find me and I’m helpless. And now you, too?’
‘I asked Leon, over and over. Is it gone? Did you destroy it? Completely? And he said yes.’
‘But they did. First thing I asked when I came round. Everything went. The pod was gutted. The remains themselves, our clothing, their clothing, medical waste – everything was incinerated.’
‘We have an incinerator?’
‘A big one. In the basement. Guthrie and Farrell oversaw the whole operation. They wouldn’t botch it.’
No, they wouldn’t. If there were two people in the world I would trust to do this right, it was those two. But something was wrong. I climbed out
of bed and started to get dressed.
‘Where are you going?’
‘To check it out. Something’s wrong somewhere.’
‘Not without me, you’re not.’
I looked at her. She wasn’t fit to be up. On the other hand, she had a little colour and her eyes were alive again. ‘Can you walk?’
‘Yes, but we’ll steal a wheelchair so we can move faster.’
The old Kal was definitely coming back. I finished dressing, helped her out of bed, and found her dressing gown.
‘Are you going to be all right? I don’t want you falling down.’
‘I’m fine. At least I haven’t got a face like a balloon and eyes like two piss-holes in the snow.’
Yes, she was fine.
We were just oozing out of the door when Hunter came back.
‘Where the hell do you two think you’re going?’
‘We’re just popping downstairs to Hawking. Won’t be a minute.’
‘The fuck you are,’ she snarled. That’s Diane Hunter for you. Fluffy, blonde, and can out-swear a camel driver in the desert. ‘Get back into bed. Now.’
‘No, sorry, Di. Not going to happen. You can come too if you want, to keep an eye on us.’
‘I’m not allowed to leave and neither are you. For God’s sake, Max, you’ve been back less than twelve hours and the pair of you are already breaking every rule in the book. Get back into bed.’
We shook our heads.
‘Can you find me a wheelchair?’
‘Are you out of your mind?’
‘Well, I’m going anyway,’ said Kal. ‘So if you don’t want me falling flat on my face, it would be a good idea to get me a wheelchair.’
‘And explain to Dr Foster how I aided and abetted? I don’t think so.’
‘Di,’ I said. ‘She’ll have no difficulty finding the right people to blame for this. You might get a token bollocking, but we’re the ones who will be nailed to the door. Trust me.’
‘If you think it would help, we could knock you unconscious and steal the chair anyway,’ said Kal helpfully.
‘Oh, good idea, Kal. Then she won’t be in any trouble at all. Come here, Hunter, and stick out your chin.’
