by Shan
“What?” I asked and grew angry.
“You heard what I said.” She pulled my nephew into the house and slammed the door shut. A few seconds later, I heard the locks latch and their footsteps as they moved away from the door.
I broke down by the time I made it back to the bus stop. I felt like I was going to explode. I just couldn’t understand how my mama could be that way to me. She knew I wasn’t a bad person, and I knew deep down she knew that I wasn’t responsible for Alaska’s death. She just wanted someone to blame, and I had been the perfect scapegoat for her.
I sat at the bus stop, sulking in my thoughts and feeling like I wanted to die. I hadn’t felt this bad and low since I stepped foot into that raggedy and little-ass cellblock and they had closed those bars behind me. I had tried plenty of times to kill myself in the first few months that I was there. One time, I had almost made it when the lights went out and I tied a sheet to the bars and slid my head inside the noose I had created. Had it not been for my cellmate hearing me gag, I would’ve fucking succeeded, and right about now, I wished I would have. I spent a month in solitary confinement after that on suicide watch, and I just knew that shit was going to make me go crazy, but it had made me stronger and gave me the strength I needed to get through that bid. I longed for that same strength now, because I felt like stepping into the street and letting a car hit me. That shit there felt so fuckin’ bad.
I looked down at my phone as it vibrated in my hand and noticed a number that I didn’t recognize. I slid the bar across the bottom of my phone and placed the phone to my ear. I used the bottom of my shirt to dry up the tears that had leaked down my face.
“Hello,” I answered after clearing my throat.
“What’s up? I really need to see you.”
“Who is this?” I said disgustedly. I already knew who it was on the other line and wanted to know how he’d gotten my number. I shook my head, knowing that it had to be Tangie’s ass, because she and Khi were the only two people that had my shit.
“It’s Rue. Damn, you don’t know my voice, girl?”
“How the hell did you get my number, muthafucka’?” I asked, pissed as hell that this nigga wasn’t trying to leave me alone. I hadn’t even had this number for more than twenty-four hours yet, and already he was on my line.
“Aye, calm down, girl. I got your shit off of Facebook. I got on a few minutes ago and saw you had logged back on and updated your profile. Did you forget we was friends?” Rue asked, and I cursed myself under my breath. I couldn’t believe that I didn’t even think of that and was pissed as hell that I was so careless with my info like that. Facebook was on some bullshit about helping me keep my account secure from hackers and in case I got locked out, so I added my number, but damn, I didn’t think everybody was gonna be able to see the shit. I made a mental note to block this nigga as soon as I got the opportunity.
“So, that don’t mean take my number and call me.”
“I really just wanna talk to you, Cuba. Look, this shit has been eating me up for three fucking years, and it was nothing that I could write in a letter or say over no phone without incriminating myself, and it’s not like you had a nigga on the visitors list.”
“So just incriminate me instead, huh? You a fuckin’ coward, Rue, and I don’t wanna talk to you. I don’t wanna hear your explanation. I told you that already.”
“Cuba, please come put one in the air with me and hear me out. I promise you, if after that you don’t wanna hear from me, then I’ll never contact you again.”
Against my better judgment, I told Rue that I would come to where he was at, and he agreed that he would meet me downtown so that we could go back to his place from there to talk. Maybe I did need to hear him out to see what he had to say. It could be possible that things had happened differently than how I perceived them. For Rue and I to be together as long as we were, I really couldn’t see how he could do me like that, but they always said that niggas would damn near sing like a lullaby to keep themselves out of jail when facing them football numbers. Who knew what kinda time Rue was facing after that night? I held onto the possibility that just maybe Rue wasn’t the coward that I thought he was, with the hope that twelve had railroaded me for whatever reason. I could take that better than I could the nigga that I had been holding down allowing me to take the fall for nothing.
* * *
“Umm, I think I’m fine sitting out here,” I told Rue as he tried to pull me into his bedroom.
“Man, come on. I don’t be smoking all over the house like that. I ain’t gonna touch your little ass—not unless you want me to,” he said, and hesitantly, I followed him to the back of his apartment and into a bedroom that was located on the right.
He walked over to the dresser and grabbed a sack of weed and a couple of cigarillos. I’d had my first meeting with my probation officer the second day after I got home, and I wasn’t due to see her again for another couple of weeks, since I already had a job and had passed my last drug test. I didn’t know how often they planned to test me, but I anticipated that it was going to be often considering I was locked up for a drug-related offense. Right about now, I didn’t give a fuck and would figure out how I was going to pass that muthafucka at a later time, because all I wanted to do was get high. I needed something to ease my mind and bad.
“Nice bedroom or whatever . . . but is this where you and that bitch Anastasia sleep?”
Rue laughed. “Hell, nah. I don’t live with her. She has her own place out in Pleasant Grove. You know I don’t bring people to my house. Shit, you’re the last chick that I’ve had up in my spot, and that was when I had the last spot down Marsalis.”
“Oh . . . okay, I guess.” I walked over to the bed and sat down on the edge of it. I pushed out a deep breath, sucked it in, and then exhaled all over again. Rue came to sit next to me as he put the fire to the hay. He took in a few puffs, and then handed it over to me.
“When I saw your pic on Facebook . . . man, that shit brought back so many memories.”
“Don’t, Rue. You said you wanted to explain your side of the story, and that’s all I’m here for—that and the weed,” I said as I held my hand up to stop him. I wasn’t trying to hear none of that sentimental shit. I took a puff of the weed and looked over at Rue, waiting for him to talk.
“A’ight, so check it. All I know is that them niggas came to me while I was sedated in the hospital, in pain, with bullets in my muthafuckin’ back, asking me where the dope came from and talking about, if I survived, I was going down for twenty to life for that shit. I kept trying to tell them that I ain’t know shit about no dope and that whoever had shot us must’ve planted the shit there. I said that shit over and over again. They finally left me alone, and I thought they believed that shit until they came back.
“They woke me up talking about they had a statement from you saying that I had just bought the dope from some cats out the South, and that they came back to get it back when they shot up the car. I ain’t believe that, but then they showed me the written statement from you, and I just flipped out. I started saying all kinds of crazy shit. All I kept thinking about was how you and Alaska was in the back seat, whispering and shit, and I kept wondering if you had set me up since you was so quick to tell on a nigga. To me, it was making sense, since you was the only one that walked away that night without being hit and how them niggas knew exactly where we were at. My mind was all over the place after reading that shit, so I said whatever I could to hurt you, knowing that they were recording me and was gonna let you hear it.”
“But I didn’t write shit,” I said as I angrily stood up from the bed. “I didn’t say shit about nothing! It wasn’t until I saw that you was really about to let me go down that I tried to tell them everything that happened, but they said it was too late. They said that you had signed a statement and that you would testify against me if you needed to.”
“I did, but hell, I didn’t know they was gonna believe me. Shit, I didn’t know they was gon
na believe my ass, man. I swear to God I ain’t know. I thought they knew that I was saying shit just to hurt you—like the text messages and me claiming to be fucking Alaska and possibly being her baby daddy. I just knew they was gonna call me out on that, but they never did. All they kept saying was that they needed somebody to go down for that dope, and they said that whoever went down was going down for murdering Bry and shooting me and Alaska too.”
“So, you never slept with Alaska?” I asked as I threw my hands on top of my head.
“Hell no! I never slept with her—ever. I would never do no shit like that to you.”
“Then how did you know she was pregnant to even claim her baby? I didn’t even know until that night from when she told me while we was in the car. That’s what the fuck we was whispering about.”
“They told me. That fat, white cop kept asking me why would you want to have your pregnant sister murdered, so that’s when I threw that shit out there about me sleeping with her. I was mad, a’ight? It was fucked up that I lied like that, but it was too late when I realized that they set me up for that shit. They used that fake-ass statement against me, hoping I was going to give them the name of some connect or something. They thought they had some big-time drug case on their hands. All they cared about was that dope, Cuba. Muthafuckin’ drugs rule the world, so if they got some nigga that was pushing a lot of weight and confiscated a lot of bread, that meant bonuses and all that bullshit for them.
“They wasn’t trying to find out who killed Bryson or who had me and Alaska laid up in the hospital like that. When I wouldn’t give them what they was looking for, they said that you was definitely going to go down and that they was gonna give you life if I didn’t give somebody up. I finally told them that me and Bry had robbed some niggas for them keys and that they must’ve figured out it was us and came to get their shit back, but they didn’t want to believe me. They felt like I was trying to protect my supplier and that I was just saying anything to keep the heat off of him.
“I promise you that I tried to retract all that shit I had told them when I realized they was just using us against each other, but it was too late. Why you think you only got that little bit of time that you did get? They knew that you didn’t have anything to do with that dope or us getting knocked like that. They just wanted to punish you for not snitching. That’s what they do. That’s why you got so many muthafuckas out here being labeled as snitches and shit, because they start throwing all kinds of false-ass charges on the table for stuff they know you ain’t have nothing to do with just to get you to start tellin’ on other people.
“The only thing is, in your situation, they used you to get to me, and then turned the tables and tried to use me against you because I didn’t have info that they wanted. They didn’t wanna believe the fuckin’ truth when I tried to tell their asses, though, so it wasn’t shit I could do about it. It was what it was, and I know it’s fucked up, but it wasn’t like I didn’t try, Cuba.”
I heard everything that Rue was saying, and it all sounded believable, but still, I just didn’t know. None of it changed the fact that I had spent the last three years of my life behind bars, though, and that he was the cause of it all. Shit, whether it started off with twelve playing mind games with him and lying on me just to get him to talk, he should’ve never fallen for the shit to begin with. Rue knew damn well that I wouldn’t have set him up. What reason did I have to even do that? Bry and my sister died that night all because of the decision they made to go out and take some niggas for their dope.
“Say something, Cuba,” Rue said, pulling me out of my thoughts.
I looked down at my phone, realizing that it was almost three o’clock. I stood up from the bed and looked over at Rue as he waited for my reaction on everything he’d just told me. I shrugged my shoulders, not really feeling like I had a change of heart about the nigga. At the end of the day, everything he said could be the truth, and then it could be a lie, too. It was not like he didn’t have three years to think up the perfect story to tell me. All I knew was that on my plea deal paperwork, his name was in big, bold letters as a witness to my crime, and I would never forget that.
“I appreciate you for trying,” I said, giving him the benefit of the doubt. “But it doesn’t change that I lost three years of my life. You niggas fucked around and robbed the wrong niggas. They came back at y’all when me and Alaska just so happened to be with y’all. I lost my sister and went down for it all. From the jump, no matter what the faggot-ass police told your ass, you should’ve been a man and told the truth from the jump. A real nigga wouldn’t have played no tit for tat bullshit with twelve like that and would’ve easily called them on that bluff. A real nigga would’ve really just swallowed their pride and stayed quiet . . . but again, I thank you for trying. I have to get to work,” I said as I walked out of the room, with Rue following behind me.
“I heard that you working for Khi. Is that true?” Rue asked, and I briefly turned around to face him.
“Who told you that? Anastasia?”
“She might’ve said something about it. But you need to be careful around that nigga. Do you really think it’s smart to be around him being you on probation?”
“You and that bitch shouldn’t be discussing me,” I said as I ignored his question and turned to leave.
On my way out, I noticed a picture on the wall near the door that I hadn’t noticed when I first came in. It was my nephew. He had that same chocolate face and hazel eyes. “Oh my God, that’s him.”
“Yeah, B.J.”
“That’s his name? B.J.”
“Yeah, that’s what I call him, but it’s Bryson Jr.,” Rue said, causing my heart to melt.
“Oh my God, I love him so much, and I don’t even know him.”
“You haven’t seen him yet?” Rue asked, sounding surprised.
“No . . . well, yeah. I just came from by there when you called, but my mother only let me see him for a brief second before she told me to never come by again and closed the door in my face. You know she blames me for Alaska’s death.”
“Nah, I didn’t know that, but maybe I can help you with that.”
Chapter 12
Daelan
Two Months Later . . .
“Shit . . . hmmm, fuck, Dae,” Taylana moaned as I moved in and out of her. She wrapped her legs tighter around my waist, and I sucked her right nipple into my mouth, suddenly feeling a gush of her juiciness spill out of her. She arched her back and tried to pull her nipple from my mouth, but I grabbed her arms and pinned them down on the bed.
“Aghh, fuck,” I groaned as I gave her a few long and deep strokes.
Taylana’s eyes rolled into the back of her head as her pussy became tighter and wetter. She wrestled her way out of the hold I had on her and reached up and wrapped her arms around me. She started throwing her hips back at me and moaning loudly.
“You ’bout to come?” I asked as I flicked my tongue over her nipple before sucking it back into my mouth.
“Yes, wooo, yes, I’m about to come, baby,” she crooned and began to scratch my back and moan even louder.
I felt her walls gripping me even tighter before they started contracting all around my dick. She began to scream, and I grabbed hold of her legs and threw them up over my shoulders. I pounded slow and deep inside her until I felt myself about to come. I sped up, and then quickly pulled out, allowing my nut to spill out all over her stomach. I rolled over onto my back and fought to catch my breath, while Taylana got up to grab us some towels.
“Shit,” I said, feeling my fucking toes tingle. I moved my leg up and down, and then shut my eyes.
I felt myself dozing off, but the minute Taylana came back and dropped a towel on my face, my eyes shot open. I took the towel to clean the sweat from my forehead, while she took another one to wipe my dick off. She tossed the towels on the floor, and then climbed in bed to lay beside me.
Things had been cool as fuck with Taylana. We had been talking ever since I met
her at her brother’s vacation spot. I never intended to still be dealing with her after all this time, but after I took her out a few nights after we met, I got a taste of what that box was like, and I was having a hard time letting her go. Not to mention she was just a muthafuckin’ pleasure to be around. I hadn’t met anyone as real and laid back as her in a long-ass time. She had me getting rid of all my shorties—except for Amber, of course—and making shit all about her.
I even had her pick up and move from Miami to be with me, and we got an apartment together. I was living foul as fuck, knowing damn well I was practically married with a kid at home, but I felt like Taylana was love. She was what I once had with Amber, and what I lost with someone else. I couldn’t, at least not right now, let that go. Nobody understood me and all the shit that I was struggling with, but ever since I had been with Taylana, I felt less stressed and even less angry. I hadn’t even put my hands on Amber in a long-ass time, and even though I knew that I couldn’t be with Taylana forever, I was just enjoying the time that I could be.
“I’m thinking I want to tell Tamar about us,” Taylana said, pulling me out of my thoughts and causing me to groan.
Damn, I thought as I shook my head. Just when I was thinking I could figure this shit out to make it a forever situation, she had to bring that nigga up. How the fuck was she gonna tell her brother about us? One thing I wasn’t was a ho-ass nigga, and not too much scared me these days other than KaeDee, but hell, I wasn’t trying to fuck up my bread. Not my muthafuckin’ cheddar. That nigga Tamar find out I’d been sliding up in his little’s sister pussy raw-dog style, I could guarantee that he was cutting that check off, and shit, no amount of pussy was good enough for that. I’d rather have plenty of hell on earth than to be broke. Fuck that. And then let all that shit happen and that muthafuckin’ sumo-wrestling-ass nigga KaeDee was gonna definitely murder my ass. I was still having nightmares ’til this day about that nigga choking me in my sleep after he caught my ass slipping in the car. I hadn’t talked to his bitch ass since the day he had me standing on the outside of Khi’s car, crying like a bitch and talking to myself. I swear that was the only nigga in life that I feared. He was having problems with his bitch, too, so I knew for sure he wouldn’t hesitate to murk me and call it a day. Taylana had lost her muthafuckin’ mind, but I was going to make sure she got it right.
