by Bellus, HJ
We’ve fought, flirted, and last night made love, cementing us together. Marvel waltzes out the door with one final wink. I don’t take him not stopping personal this time, because now I know it’s because he doesn’t know when to stop. One kiss is never enough since we’ve tasted each other and one touch is absolutely never enough to tide our appetites over. It’s an all in type of love and devour.
I take my time getting up and enjoy the hot shower. Marvel’s water pressure and temperature is much more appealing than mine. When I step from the shower, I’m assaulted with everything Marvel from day old clothes laying on the floor to his scent attacking me. It definitely feels like home.
My pile of crumpled up clothes lay next to his nightstand where the lamp rests. The same little lamp that provided just enough light for us to imprint memories forever. I pluck my skinny jeans and my tight t-shirt from the floor and am not impressed with my choice of wear the night before. I wiggle into my jeans and then riffle through Marvel’s drawers to find a suitable shirt.
I settle for a long sleeve, button-up red plaid shirt. The cotton hugs my skin, making me feel like I’m wrapped in Marvel’s arms while the scent of the shirt continues to antagonize my sense of smell. I couldn’t care less at this point about my hair. If interviewed by Oprah it would say that piled up in a wet pony was its natural state. So, I don’t think twice about tying it up before I open the door.
My stomach growls loudly when I open the door and am hit with a waft of breakfast that nearly causes me to pass out. A swarm of voices mingle together with the fresh bacon aroma, and when I round the corner everyone shuts up. I feel like a stranger for the first time amidst the Slatters. My stomach flutters for a second and the all too familiar feelings of my mother and my harsh upbringing flood in.
“Baby.” Marvel whirls out of his seat and wraps me up right in front of all the staring eyes. I remain frozen, still with a lingering feeling that something is off.
“You okay?” he whispers into my ear.
I only nod, providing him with a yes.
A slap to my ass from behind causes me to jump in shock, and when I turn I see the smiling face of the ornery patient I took care of. Granddad stands behind me, clutched to his walker and smiling like a fool.
“Very clever,” I joke. “You can slap and grip your walker without eating shit.”
“Well, I was up very late last night,” he replied.
Game point won. I turn back to Marvel flushed and embarrassed.
“Come have a seat, Clover, breakfast is ready,” lil’ Mav shouts.
His excitement is clear. I rub my eyes, trying to clear my mind since I swear I’d just walked into a hornet’s nest, but now everything seems to be chipper than chip.
I take a seat near Marvel and watch him dish out a plate for me. Challis and lil’ Mav go on about the rodeo they’re going to tonight. They truly leave no window for anyone else to get a word in edgewise, so I just shovel in bite after bite. I was a lot hungrier than I’d thought.
I’m thankful the small house is so bustling, taking attention away from me sitting in Marvel’s shirt at the table and the fact we were caught by Maverik and Merek. Before I know what’s going on, Granddad is swept out the back door for therapy and I’m helping tidying up the dishes with Challis. The men have since gone outside to do chores and all the manly shit they do on Silver Star Ranch.
That familiar uneasy vibe creeps back in as I walk outside with Ella and Challis. I make eye contact before anyone has to explain a thing. Every single window of my house and car are shattered. Shards of glass strewn in every direction, causing my heart to sink and head to go dizzy.
Everything goes blurry as I try to piece each glass back into place. I replay last night as I walked out of my front door and crept across to Marvel’s window. I force myself from staring at the broken glass and find Marvel. He’s deep in conversation with some workers. The veins popping from his temples and clenched jaw clue me in to his temperament. More hushed whispers pass before he begins to stride in my direction.
“I’ll take care of it,” he spits out.
“What happened?” I continue to stare at the mess.
“Vandalism.”
“Marvel, you’re lying,” I accuse.
“I’m not lying. If I knew who did this I’d have them by the balls right now.” He runs his hands through his hair. “I’m having your stuff moved into my room. You’ll be with me or someone from the family all the time.”
“What about work?”
“Do you not see those windows? Do you not remember my body the night you found me? Do you want your face to look like that?”
“Enough, Marvel.” Merek grabs him from the back.
“I’ll make sure you get to and from work.” Sterling steps up. I hadn’t even noticed him until now.
“Yes, that’ll work,” Ella reassures me. “We brought him here to look after the family anyway.”
Marvel goes at it with Maverik and Merek, causing my stomach to go sick. Our happy moment clearly gone as fast as it came.
“Let’s go down to the barn.” Challis tucks her arm in mine. “We could both use the time.”
“I’m going home to shower and get ready for our appointment.”
We both wave to Ella as she waddles toward her house, cradling her belly. I can’t help but stare at the house and wreckage left behind and then remember the footsteps I heard.
“Just a sec, Challis.”
I sprint back over to Marvel, who is still at it with his brothers. I have two reasons for going back to him.
“I heard footsteps last night when I walked over to your place.” I grip his forearm and squeeze, forcing him to look at me. “And I told you, I’m here. I know you’re scared and only protecting me, so quit pushing me away.”
Marvel only stares down at me, so I perch up on my tiptoes and kiss him lightly.
“You’ll never be able to scare me off, cowboy.”
And just as fast as I sprinted to him, I race back to Challis and we make our way down to the barn.
“He’s just protecting you…” She begins to explain to me.
I cut her off before she tries to reassure me. “I know. I’m okay.”
Challis is a smart girl and gets the hint. She doesn’t try to offer up any more advice as we catch our horses and begin grooming them. I always take care of hers by brushing it and saddling while she does miscellaneous chores around the barnyard. Working with these animals is more therapeutic than any medicine or counseling.
“May I?” I turn to see Marvel standing in the doorway.
“May you what?”
“Ride with you.”
“I’d love that, Marvel.”
I can tell simply by his relaxed stature that he’s let go of his anger for now. It’s automatic as I go to him, wrapping him up in a tight hug, and hold on for dear life.
“I love you, Clover. I just want you to be safe.”
“Well, if you’d let me in I might be able to help.”
“Want to go to a rodeo tonight to watch Challis and lil’ Mav?”
I jump back and look at him, studying his features, and wait for him to yell sike, but it never comes.
“Are you serious?”
He only nods to me.
“I’d love to, Marvel. I’ll go anywhere with you.”
“That’s what I’m afraid of.”
We work together in silence gathering his horse, and I don’t miss the little glance of admiration he sends my way when I catch and halter his horse. He never tells me good job, but I take the slaps on my ass every once in a while as a job well done.
“I see I’ve been ditched,” Challis says entering the barn.
“No, he just showed up.”
“I’m kidding, Clover. Damn you’re so easy to get riled up.”
I relax a bit and won’t lie, my butthole puckered up thinking Challis was pissed.
“Are you sure?” I ask her again.
She nods, solemnly holding
an empty grain bucket. “It’s time I talk to Merek.”
“Want me here or around?” I twirl my hand in the air, not sure what I’m even offering up.
“No, go ride and show your man your skills.”
“Challis, thank you for everything. You don’t understand the freedom and courage you’ve given me.” I take a step closer and wrap her up in a hug.
“You’re welcome,” she whispers. “Anything to help out a cowgirl.”
“What in the hell is going on here? A love fest in the damn barn?”
We both turn to Merek standing in the middle with his black felt hat crooked on top of his head. “Fucking too much estrogen in this joint.”
“That’s an understatement,” I whisper to Challis. She glares back at me and then finally cracks a smile.
I make quick work untying Marvel’s and my horse and lead them out into the sunlight. Marvel’s just finishing up watering a lot of cattle. He’s such a new person healing and out in his comfort zone. Each day he grows stronger and more determined.
“What are you staring at?” he asks as he saunters up to me. I swear there must be a finishing school for these cowboys by the way they walk. It’s a stride designed to melt panties and win hearts over, not to mention Marvel’s earth shattering smile. It’s electric.
“You. You’re so sexy.”
He drops his leather gloves to the ground and wraps his hand around my lower waist, pulling me into him. I don’t worry about the horses spooking that I’m holding on to in one hand and let Marvel kiss the hell out of me.
“It’s a shame we aren’t riding together.”
“Why?” I ask.
“Because we could have our bodies pressed up to each other.”
“Tonight.” I nip at his lower lip.
He only growls as I push him away and hand him his set of reins. He watches each of my moves, standing like a fool on the dirt lot while I’m already on top of my horse.
“Stop, you’re embarrassing me.”
He tilts his straw hat back and grins up at me. “I really didn’t think anything would be sexier than Nurse Clover in action, but this whole Cowgirl Clover act is sexy as all hell.”
And like a little schoolgirl who has her first crush, I blush with embarrassment. I nudge my horse into a walk and hear Marvel grunt and grumble. When I look back I see him leap on the back of his horse, and in true cowboy fashion, he kicks him into a full run. By damn if I’ll let this man think he can outrun a city girl turned country.
22
Marvel
The slamming of a gate or holler from a cowboy sends me into high alert tonight. These sounds are usually comforting since I’ve been to over a hundred rodeos since I was able to walk. But with Clover at my side tonight in public, it’s like dangling a carrot in front of an angry monster’s face. Saint will see us or at least get wind I’m out and about with a new girl. He’ll want to strike again and make me hurt. No one that I love is safe, and that is the worst nightmare a man can have.
“Lighten up.” Maverik elbows me in the ribs. “She’ll be fine. We’re all here. Undercover agents are everywhere.”
I pound back another beer and only nod to him. I can’t force my vision from Clover, who is wearing a straw cowboy hat with her long locks braided and perched over one shoulder. Challis has her in a tight ass pair of blue jeans and a hot pink plaid button up shirt. Clover looks like a natural as she works with the horses, helping to get them ready.
My heart runs over with love for her, but that damn perpetual looming fear of Saint tearing me apart is always haunting me. It’s a bloody dagger that’s been left in my healing body, and until it’s gone I’ll never be complete. Saint has me right where he wants me, and he knows that. I’m stuck in my own personal hell just sitting back and trying to protect the ones I love.
Guilt washes over me as Clover throws her head back and laughs hard at something Challis tells her. She’s so innocent in all of this. Her stories of growing up and her heartless mother are chilling. She’s a true miracle escaping that wrath and turning out to be such a genuine person.
“Challis is pregnant.”
I tear my gaze from Clover and up to Merek. Maverik also freezes in the middle of wrapping Merek’s riding hand.
“She told me today. Guess she’s missed a few periods and finally took a test.”
“Congrats, man.” Maverik wallops him on the back.
“It’s not fucking congrats. Challis is scared, and I don’t know what to do.” He punches the side of Maverik’s truck with his free hand.
“Easy on the truck, man. This is life’s greatest blessing,” Maverik says in a calm voice.
“She can’t rodeo anymore, and I can.”
“Being pregnant doesn’t mean her life is over,” Ella adds.
All three of us look up to her, not even realizing she was standing there, and if anyone knew about welcoming a child to the world it would be her. She’s a rock star when it comes to raising kids.
“I just want to be back out on the road so damn bad with her.” Merek lands another punch on the side of Maverik’s truck.
“Listen here, Rocky, quit fucking punching my truck and be grateful for what you have.”
Merek doesn’t respond. He bends over and throws his bag over his back and heads for the back of the chutes. None of us are shocked with his reaction. It’s typical Merek. The man has no filter or logical way to express himself.
“Go with him.” Ella nudges Maverik on the back. “He needs you.”
“He needs a good ass kicking—always has.” Maverik takes his time to kiss his wife good and well before he goes after Merek. It’s tradition for them and always has been. Maverik pulls his rigging and is the one on the back of the chute with him. I was always too busy getting into trouble with Weston at rodeos to be bothered.
Waves of memories flood over me with just the thought of his name. A stinging slap lands on the top of my thigh before those memories have time to do any damage.
“Help a fat girl up.” Ella holds her hand up to me.
“Are you sure this is a safe idea?”
She has herself hoisted up on the tailgate before I have the chance to protest any further.
“Jesus, you could’ve popped.”
“I’m not a balloon, Marvel.” She nudges me with her shoulder. “You’re really happy, uh?”
I nod to her, finding Clover once again. She’s struggling with a flake of hay, separating it perfectly for the two horses. Everything she touches she does with such gentle ease and care.
“You need to tell her, Marvel. She deserves to know the whole truth.”
“Once he’s put away I will.”
“Look at me.” Ella sends a stiff elbow to my ribs, causing me to howl before I finally look at her. “I thought I was protecting Maverik all those years from the truth, but all I did was hurt him and me. If you love her you need to tell her.”
“Ella, I can’t even tell myself the damn truth, let alone the one woman I’ve fallen for.”
“You can.” She nods to me with some of her loose blonde hair cascading over her shoulder.
I go to open my mouth and go on about how selfish my idea was and the blood on my hands from Weston’s death but then remember Granddad’s pained face as he told his tale. I decided then and there that all my actions and thoughts will only be for the best of Silver Star’s legacy.
“I’ll think about it,” I finally tell her.
“She’s not a virgin anymore, is she?”
“What?” I fall from the side of the tailgate with Ella’s question.
“Holy shit, Marvel Slatter is blushing.”
“How did you know?”
“Girls have their way, you know.” She shrugs in her ornery fashion, just the way she used to taunt me when I was little. Ella and Maverik took me everywhere with them. Ella not only took care of Maverik, but she took me under her wing, protecting and loving me like her own brother when we were younger.
“You littl
e shit.” I shake my head side to side in astonishment and genuinely laugh. It feels good, really good.
“Just remember how these are made.” She rubs her belly.
And it hits me. We didn’t use any protection. Challis jumps on the back of her horse, as does lil’ Mav, and they head to the warm-up pen for team roping.
“I’ll go save us seat,” Ella yells over her shoulder.
“Clover.” I walk toward the trailer.
“Yeah, cowboy?”
“Are you on birth control?”
Her eyes flash up to mine. “Um, no.”
It takes her a few moments to realize why I’m asking, and then she slaps her hand over her mouth. “And I’m a freaking nurse.”
Tears begin to well up in her eyes.
“Stop. Hey now.” I wrap her in my arms, tugging her into me. “It’s okay, baby.”
I know thoughts of us last night and earlier today out on our ride are flashing through both of our minds.
“I’m so stupid,” she whispers into my shoulder.
“You don’t want my baby?” I ask, peeking around her hat to try to see her face.
“No, I mean…” She stands tall and wipes away the tears from her eyes. “You won’t even let me in fully, so I don’t see how a baby would help this.”
Her words sting, and sting like a bitch at that, because they’re the truth. “One, you might not even be pregnant, and two, I love you, Clover.”
A puzzled look covers her features. “You’re not mad?”
I shake my head from side to side. “I’m the furthest thing from mad.”
“But a baby would…”
“Our baby would be beautiful.”
“Are you drunk?” she asks me.
“Only drunk on life and your love right now.” I clasp her hand in mine and begin walking over to the stands to meet Ella. The national anthem begins to blare on the loud speakers, so I know the chutes are about to open.
Clover remains stiff next to me as we walk. I swing our arms playfully and then release her hand and slap her ass.
