Fated? Bella wouldn’t go that far. She turned away, hiding her face from her sister. When it came to Cedric, her feelings were jumbled and confusing. She didn’t have a clue what she wanted from him other than a shelter from a storm. In fact, since she’d known him, she’d run to him whenever she needed not just hot sex but a shelter from her life’s storms, even though she hadn’t recognized her weakness until now.
She’d always considered herself the strong sister, but now she realized it’d been smoke and mirrors. In reality, she was the weakest link of the four females. She’d faked it so well even her sisters hadn’t seen what a fraud she was—nor had Bella.
Everything Bella believed about herself became a lie the night of the attack.
Chapter 7—High Sticking
Relieved to be back from the road trip, Cedric fully expected to settle into a weird, dysfunctional routine with Bella.
He wasn’t home more than a few hours when she dumped a bombshell on him. The dog and she were moving out. Maybe he’d been too much of a dick about the dog, but he didn’t think that was it. After all, he’d been willing to tolerate the animal, her cooking, and her atrocious redecorating. What else did she want from him? He still couldn’t believe she was leaving, and he had every intention of talking her out of it after giving her a day to reconsider.
After morning skate, Cedric stepped into the condo elevator ready for battle. He’d beg, plead, cajole, and insist Bella and her grumbling dog—Rebel, Rabble, Rover, whatever his name was—stay put in his condo.
A guy carrying boxes stacked to his chin stuck his foot in the door to stop it from closing.
Cedric did a double take. “What the fuck? Did Emma finally get some brains and kick your sorry ass out of the house?”
The guy peeked at him over the top of the boxes as if Cedric had lost his mind. Cedric frowned and narrowed his eyes, studying the guy. There were subtle differences.
“Oh, shit, I thought you were someone else.” When they said every person had a double, they were talking about this guy. He was an almost dead ringer for Tanner Wolfe.
The guy shrugged. “I get that a lot.” He set the boxes down in the elevator.
Cedric held out his hand. “Cedric Pedersen.”
The guy shook his hand. He had a good handshake. “Zeke,” he said, not offering any additional information.
Zeke didn’t press a button on the elevator, which meant he was getting out on the top floor like Cedric. There were only a few condos up there, and Cedric knew his neighbors. Mrs. Winger, who made the best chocolate butterscotch cookies known to man. Marcus, an interior designer who was as much of a manslut as Cedric, except Marcus batted for the home team. And Fernando, the starting shortstop for the Seattle Skookums baseball team.
Cedric narrowed his eyes and studied Zeke even closer. He was younger than Cedric, fresh-faced, yet with blue eyes that had seen too much, and a wariness about him indicating he didn’t quite trust the world. Cedric understood that particular sentiment.
“You bunking with Fernando?” Cedric asked conversationally. Bella would want to know. Bella wanted to know everything. Along with Mrs. Winger, she was the floor busybody. Or had been unless he managed to convince her otherwise.
“Just for a few weeks.” Zeke kept his eyes averted, as if hiding something. The elevator dinged and the door opened. Zeke struggled with his boxes.
“You look like you’re staying more than a few weeks.”
“No.” Zeke shot him a look that clearly indicated not that it’s any of your business.
Cedric hung back as Zeke walked the few short steps to the door across from Cedric’s. “So you’re a friend of Fernando’s?”
“Yeah.”
“Are you a baseball player?” The kid looked like an athlete.
Zeke’s answer was a short, tight nod. He probably thought Cedric would fan-boy him.
“I’m a forward for the Seattle Sockeyes hockey team.” Cedric supplied this info so his unfriendly neighbor would loosen up a little.
Instead of respecting their mutual athletic endeavors, Zeke closed down completely. Obviously, Zeke was not a hockey fan. Cedric shrugged and headed for his own door. This guy’s attitude was so not his problem; he had plenty of his own, namely one hot redhead and her grumpy dog.
Zeke hesitated, and Cedric frowned at him. “Something wrong?”
“That’s your condo?” Zeke indicated the door Cedric had been about to open.
“Yeah,” Cedric grouched. The kid had missed his chance. Cedric wasn’t interested in being friendly anymore. He started to put the key in the lock.
“You’re Bella’s boyfriend.”
Cedric froze; every part of his body turned cold. He turned slowly. “Do you know Bella?”
He nodded. “I’ve been going with her when she walks her dog at night. She feels safer that way.”
His Bella? The girl who was currently scared of her own shadow walked her worthless dog with this near-stranger? Was this punk the reason Bella was moving out? Hell, he bet the kid wasn’t old enough to shave or drink legally. Reining in his jealousy, Cedric reminded himself to be reasonable. He should be grateful Bella hadn’t been walking by herself after dark with only that worthless boulder of drooling dog for protection.
“Thanks for that,” he said grudgingly and turned to put his key in the door, realizing it was open.
Bella stood in the doorway, gripping the doorknob, and watching them both with curiosity. He hoped like hell she hadn’t been huddled against the door waiting for his return. He expelled a long breath of relief when he didn’t see panic in her eyes.
“I see you’ve met Zeke. You do realize who he is, don’t you?”
Cedric glanced over his shoulder as Zeke disappeared inside the neighbor’s condo. “Zeke somebody.”
Bella rolled her eyes and heaved a long-suffering sigh, as if he and all his gender were so clueless. “Zeke Wolfe.”
“Ice’s brother?”
“Yes, the one who was just traded to the Skookums. He’s in town for a few weeks.”
He raised a questioning eyebrow.
“Hey, I watch TV all day, including ESPN and local sports news, and it’s been a slow news day.”
Cedric waited, but she didn’t furnish more than that. “How about we go out for dinner?”
“How about we stay here, get something delivered, and spend the evening reconnecting.”
“You’re staying?” Hope soared inside him. No mention of moving out and she wanted to spend some time with him. A win-win in his book, regardless of what reconnecting actually meant.
Bella shrugged. “Just for tonight.” She gazed up at him. Their eyes met, and he felt it, that familiar zing of attraction that started in his core and spread through his entire body. He took a step closer, and she didn’t move away. Their bodies were inches apart and still he didn’t touch her, despite every cell in his body begging to feel her soft, warm flesh against his.
Her eyes grew huge and unfathomable though the fear and panic were absent. He lifted his hand and tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear and pressed his palm against her cheek. She didn’t cringe or pull away; instead she leaned into his hand.
Cedric held his breath. God, he wanted to kiss her, really kiss her, feel those soft lips moving against his, feel her tongue teasing him, hear those little noises she made. Just one kiss would tide him over.
She raised her head, and he searched her eyes for an answer. Bella put her hands on his shoulders and tilted her head, a sure invitation if he’d ever seen one. His pulse skipped like a happy kid on a playground.
Cedric looked into her eyes, deep inside, until he was lost in a green meadow on a sunny day and was hit with the oddly frightening yet comforting knowledge she was his destiny. He knew this as well as he knew how he liked his skates sharpened.
He moved closer until her sweet breath teased his lips. He tasted those inviting lips, just a small taste, but it whetted his appetite for more. She shivered, and so
did he. She tasted like good memories and a better future, like a homemade fudge dribbled on ice cream, like nothing he’d ever tasted before. He slid his tongue along the crease of her lips, savoring the softness she tried so hard to conceal.
She opened to him, her tongue touching his, and inviting him inside. He pulled her body to him, cradled her hips against his, aware he’d grown hard, and hoping his erection didn’t scare her. If it did, she didn’t show it. She wrapped her arms around his neck and sucked on his tongue, which nearly sent him over the edge.
He buried his fingers in her luxurious mane of auburn hair. Their tongues danced a tango together while their lips joined not just their bodies but their souls.
God, he wanted her.
She broke the kiss first, her lips swollen from his passion, her eyes dilated, and her breathing harsh. He stared at her, trying to regain a thread of coherent thought.
“Fuck me, Cedric.” She whispered in a breathy voice those two words he’d been waiting to hear.
* * * *
Feeling heady from the kiss, Bella grabbed Cedric’s hand and led him to the bedroom. He followed behind her in a stupor, unable to respond. She almost smiled. The realization she still had that effect on this man bolstered her confidence.
Yet, it’d only been two weeks since the attack, since she’d almost been— Bella banned such thoughts from her mind before they killed the mood.
“Get naked and get on the bed,” she ordered as she turned off the lights and pulled the blinds, needing total darkness. She heard Cedric slide down the zipper on his jeans and memories slammed her in the gut almost doubling her over. Thank God Cedric couldn’t see her almost panic.
Placing a hand on the dresser to steady herself, she mechanically undressed, determined to push through her fears. Trembling, she felt her way through the darkness to his big king bed. He’d turned back the sheets, and she crawled under them, suddenly chilled to the bone.
Cedric reached for her, and she stiffened. “Fuck, Bells, you’re ice-cold.”
When she didn’t respond, he pulled her into his arms, probably with the intention of comforting her. Terror engulfed her, and she was in that dark alley again. She smelled the stench from a nearby dumpster mixed with Snake’s putrid cologne. She heard the rip of her shirt and the click of his knife.
Bella snapped. She fought like a tiger, her arms flailing, as she landed hard kicks to his thighs and blows to his chest.
“Bella!” he shouted, but she couldn’t stop.
Cedric flicked a light on, and she blinked several times before she came back from that dark place she’d gone.
“I’m sorry.” Bella pulled the comforter over her naked body and turned away from him.
She was more fucked up than she’d realized. She had always loved sex. Of all her partners, Cedric excited her more than any other man ever had. Their kiss had aroused her, causing desire to coil through her body—until the sound of his zipper triggered her memories.
Cedric rubbed her shoulders in slow, lazy circles. She wished he wouldn’t touch her. She didn’t want to be touched right now. Hell, she didn’t know if she’d ever want to be touched again. She tolerated hugging and an occasional kiss, but what he was doing right now seemed too…too intimate.
“I’m sorry,” Bella apologized once more for lack of anything else to say. “I had a flashback.”
“It’s okay, Bells. Be patient with yourself.” Cedric wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her backside against his body. He was giving off enough heat to warm the entire apartment yet still she felt as cold and stiff as a corpse.
She almost wished they’d done it so she could get that obstacle out of the way and move on toward healing. She didn’t have a clue if that was how things worked. She was bumbling her way through this process with a stubborn insistence she didn’t need professional help.
Maybe she was wrong.
“You okay, sweetheart?” he asked, and the endearment broke her heart. She couldn’t give him what he wanted. Not right now.
“I’m fine.”
“I want you to trust me, Bella. I want to help you whatever way I can, but I don’t know what you need.”
“I don’t either.” Her voice sounded harsher than she intended.
“I’ll wait for you forever. However long it takes, I’ll be here.”
Her heart cracked open, and she wanted to cry, but tears failed her. “I don’t want you to wait for me, because I’m not sure I’ll ever be what you need.”
“Bells.” That one simple word held so much agony and pain, so much grief, she made her decision. She had to move out, not for herself, but for him. Being here wasn’t fair to him; it gave him false hope, and she didn’t want to lead Cedric on.
Rumble hopped onto the bed, but Cedric didn’t scold him. The dog seemed to understand Bella needed him. He crawled to her side and lay his big body next to hers. Bella hugged him close and he only growled once.
“Tomorrow I am going to move into Izzy and Cooper’s mother-in-law apartment over their garage.” She spoke with utter certainty to drive home the point to him.
“Bella, I don’t want you to go. Please.”
Hearing him beg almost destroyed her, but she dug in. “My mind is made up.”
“Are you sure?” He tried one last time to sway her. She dug in her heels and refused to back down. She was doing this for Cedric, whether he appreciated her sacrifice or not.
“I’m positive. I’m petrified about staying here alone when you’re on road trips. Zeke will be gone in a week. The thought of walking Rumble at night by myself terrifies me.” She turned in his arms and buried her head in his bare shoulder, as her hot tears slid across his skin.
“Bella, I’ll do anything you need me to do. I wish you’d stay, but I understand your need to go.”
Of course he did, because he was an incredibly sweet man under the flirting and carefree grins. She lifted her head and touched his beard-roughened cheek. “Cedric, I can’t have a relationship right now. I didn’t want one before, and I definitely don’t want one now. Staying here isn’t fair to you.”
Cedric swallowed hard, as if fighting to find the right words to convince her to stay and let them work through this together. “Bells, I’m not giving up.”
“I wouldn’t expect you to.” She managed a smile. “You’re not a man who gives up.”
Cedric smiled back. He was nothing if not an optimist and a competitor. If only those qualities would rub off on Bella. She’d be a far better person than she was right now.
* * * *
The next evening, Cedric plopped down on the bench in front of his stall to get suited up for the game. His head wasn’t in this locker room. It, along with his heart, was miles away with Bella. As he’d helped her load up the last of her stuff into Izzy’s SUV earlier that day, he’d fought the urge to drop to his knees and beg her to stay.
Bella couldn’t have hurt him more if he’d handed her one of those fancy knives in his kitchen butcher block and let her cut out his still-beating heart. Honesty sucked. He’d been much happier pretending everything was fine, even when it wasn’t. As much as he hated to admit it, she’d probably made the right decision for both of them, but that didn’t mean he’d give up his campaign to win her over. Not a fucking chance. He’d change her mind, but it’d take time and subtle persuasion.
But for now Bella was gone, and Cedric needed to pull his head out of his ass and concentrate on hockey. Always hockey. The only constant in his life. His most beloved mistress. Or so he’d always thought. Hockey had always been enough, his everything. Only it wasn’t enough anymore. Call him greedy, but there had to be more to life than hockey. Yet right now there wasn’t, and he’d be smart to take care of the one love still in his life.
Love?
He shook his head, still not certain his obsession with Bella could be called love. Infatuation? Attraction? Fucking incredible sexual chemistry? Yeah, all that shit. But love?
Yet, there it was—the
truth bared for all the world to see despite his denials otherwise.
He’d fallen in love with Bella.
Cedric, the playboy of the NHL, had met his match. He’d gladly become whatever she needed him to be, as desperation drove him to stop her from cutting him out of her life. Only she already had. For now.
With a sigh, he bent down to lace his skates with the careful precision he put into every part of his pregame preparation.
Cooper sat down next to him, watching him quizzically as if Cedric had gotten a facial tattoo and Cooper was debating on telling him how shitty it looked.
“Hey, Coop,” Cedric said, breaking the silence.
Coop nodded, studying him with the same shrewd eyes he used to dissect his opponents when on the ice. “Bella moved into our studio today.”
“Yeah, I know.”
“Not going so good, huh?”
“She needs time.”
“She needs more than time.” Cooper shook his head but didn’t elaborate.
Not wanting to discuss Bella any further and screw up his game, Cedric glanced around for Ice, but he wasn’t in the locker room yet. He smoothly shifted the subject. “My neighbor has a guest.” He spoke in a low tone, forcing Coop to lean closer to hear.
“Yeah?” Coop waited with unnerving patience for Cedric to continue. Cedric swept his gaze once again around the locker room, making sure Ice wasn’t there yet. Even so, he lowered his voice even further. “It’s Zeke.”
Cooper’s eyes shot open in shock. “Zeke Wolfe?”
“Yeah, one and the same.”
“Does he know who you are?”
“Once he found out, he couldn’t get away fast enough, but I guess he made friends with Bella.”
“She never mentioned it.”
“I know. I think she’s struggling with her own demons without taking on the Wolfe family’s dysfunction,” Cedric said.
“You’d be wise to do the same. Those three brothers have some major shit going on.”
“That’s what I’m best at—minding my own business.”
“It’s the Swede’s way,” Cooper teased, and Cedric didn’t dispute his statement. Yet Coop’s words felt more like an insult than the compliment he once considered them to be.
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