by A. C. Wilson
Randy took a deep breath and let it out slowly through his teeth. The hiss was satisfyingly sharp as he watched the kitchen light flip on. Nora had gone into the house and hadn’t looked back. He hadn’t figured on her leaving the front door open, but she had. In foolish hope, Randy waited and watched that open door. He hoped that Nora would come back and tell him how wrong she was. Maybe she’d even tell him that she wanted them to find a way to make this work. He was willing. Heck, he was still in love with her.
It must have been twenty minutes that he waited for Nora, but she didn’t come. His heart ached and the chilly early morning was creeping through his long sleeve shirt. Closing his eyes and saying a prayer for strength, Randy pushed away from the truck and walked through the front door into his house. The brightness from kitchen light blinded him momentarily and he wiped his hand across his face. He knew he wasn’t alone, although he couldn’t see Nora, he knew she was there. He felt her whenever she walked into a room. Her presence was his source of life. He wasn’t sure what he was going to say.
“I wasn’t sure you were going to come inside.” Nora’s voice was scratchy to his ears and he wondered if she’d been crying. Raising his eyes to see her sitting on the couch, her red cheeks were proof enough that she had been. His throat seemed to close at seeing his wife cry. It was something he had never seen before. She kept her emotions fairly close to her chest.
“I wasn’t sure you wanted me too.” It was hard to meet her eyes, but he stiffened his resolve. If this marriage was over, he was going to meet it head on. There was no hiding from the truth. Nora bowed her head and tightened the grip on something she held in her lap. He searched his brain trying to figure out what it was. A little glint of silver jogged his memory.
Picture frame. More importantly it was the silver picture frame that held their wedding photo. He could see it as vividly as if it were yesterday. Nora in her beautiful dress with her brilliant blue eyes sparkling like sunshine cast on water. He’d never been happier in his life.
“Colt is Drew’s father.” Nora’s words echoed in his head as he grappled with the will to stay calm. “No one knows, not even Colt.” Nora stared straight at the floor. Randy’s wasn’t sure where the pounding in his head was coming from, but it was there just the same.
Bang. Bang. Bang. It was torture. He couldn’t seem to think and what he was thinking managed to be jumbled in knots. Randy swallowed hard, but his mouth had turned to sand.
“You deserve to know the truth, Randy. I think Colt deserves to know it too.” Nora’s conviction had gotten stronger in the seconds that passed. Randy recognized the firming of her jaw and the live spark in her blue eyes. She’d made up her mind. There was little he could do to change it when she had.
“You want to be with him now?” Randy forced the words to clear his lips, but they had been rolling around in his head since he’d seen her with Colt Cavanaugh. He really didn’t care to see how her cheeks pinked with his question.
“I think I always have. I just don’t know what to do.” Nora couldn’t hide the truth and it didn’t seem like she was going to try. Randy wished he could say honesty was overrated, but damn it, it at least put them on equal footing. Randy gripped the back of the forward facing couch across from his wife and tried not to notice the fact that his fingers were going numb from the fury of his grip.
“I’ll give you a week, Nora.” Randy firmed his lips to keep from throwing up. His stomach knotted viciously.
“A week?” Nora asked, her eyes widening. He nodded.
“One week to figure out what you want. As far as I’m concerned you can do what you wish. I only want two things.” Randy closed his eyes and fought the dizziness that threatened to topple him.
“What’s that?” Nora’s voice was tentative and unsure.
“Don’t tell me what happens with him and you have to choose at the end of the week. It’s either him or me.” He raised his eyes to meet hers so that they were perfectly clear. “We stay together or we start the divorce process at the end of the week.”
They both must have remained silent for the length that it took to sink in. This was the final countdown. It was either up or down, but no in between. If he was completely honest with himself, Randy knew he’d done the right thing. They both needed to figure out where they were going and what they wanted.
“Maybe you should leave Drew at my parents. He won’t understand what’s going on between us and I’d rather leave him in the dark until we do know how this plays out.” Nora scooted to the end of the couch and stood up. She no longer clutched the wedding photo in the silver frame, but had left it sitting on the cushion.
“All right.” Randy unclenched his fingers from the back of the couch and took a couple of steps backwards. It was time to go. His family was expecting him. It might be better if he hit the road now. It wasn’t like he was going to sleep anyway. One last look at Nora and he pivoted around. Luckily the door was a couple feet away and in his defeated haze, Randy managed to slip out into the enveloping darkness.
***
Nora lay curled up in her bed with the blue coverlet pulled over her head. It was morning. She only knew it was, because she could hear the birds chirping outside. Her eyes were gritty and her throat was raw. She’d hardly slept a wink in the last couple of hours that she lay here. She hadn’t thought it would be this hard to tell him how she felt and who Colt really was. Instead of feeling a measurable amount of relief, Nora felt like the world was crashing down. Irony was a cruel and unfeeling mistress.
Rolling over so that the cover slipped off her head, Nora squinted at the soft morning light. The sunshine filtered gently through the windows and made the yellow room glow. Normally it was a cheerful way to wake up, but today, there didn’t seem to be any joy in her heart. Running her fingers through her dark hair, Nora winced at the rats that stopped the progress.
Who cares if I’m pretty today? She shrugged and then thought maybe she’d better be presentable. Scaring the patients at work might be bad karma. She couldn’t afford that right now. With a sigh, she tossed off the rest of the blanket and slid her feet to the floor. It only took seconds, but it felt like minutes, or hours as she made her way to the bathroom. Nora swung her head away from the mirror.
Nope. Don’t look. All she wanted to do was get under the warm water, pour her favorite scented soap onto her pouf and scrub away all the emotions of last night.
Too bad I can’t do that to my heart. She rolled her eyes when they started to fill with tears again and began to pull off her clothes. The warm shower was already starting to fill the bathroom with steam when Nora stepped inside. The water’s pulsing spray eased the tightness of her muscles, but it didn’t ease the grip of pain inside. She scrubbed harder than usual until her skin was pink and stinging. The physical discomfort didn’t take her mind off the emotional torment boiling just below the surface.
You’re a crazy, stupid woman! Her inner self was so torn between the unsettled past and the present train wreck. She bit her lip as she hastily turned off the knobs in the shower and flung the fluffy towel around her shoulders.
You aren’t thinking about what comes after. She hadn’t any special plans for the future. She didn’t know who was going to still be there after she detonated whatever bomb she chose. Her head ached. Quickly she ran the towel over her body to dry away the droplets of water. She only wished the insecurities would wipe off that easily.
Nora pulled into the parking lot at work and turned off the engine of her car. The morning was bright and beautiful as only a spring day could be. She thought it was ironic that her mood was definitely grey and stormy.
“Hey Nora!” Gloria called from just down the sidewalk. They’d been friends since they’d both come to work at the veteran’s home at the same time. “How’s the lump?” Gloria grinned and wrinkled her nose as Nora rolled her eyes.
“It’s better.” Nora’s lips twitched in response to Gloria’s good humor. It was really difficult to deny the warm
th of sunshine that came from this woman.
“Mr. Clifton was asking about you yesterday.” Gloria tucked her keys into her purse and zipped it back up. Nora tilted her head as they walked to the front doors.
“Really? He must have been feeling better.” Nora knew the old man well enough. He was going through the ups and downs of dementia. It could be tough to predict just how he would be each day. Often his anxiety from the environmental changes would set him off and he’d react with aggression, confusion, and depression.
“He doesn’t seem to remember hitting you with the food tray. Mr. Clifton was missing his reading glasses and said you’d know where to find them.” Gloria smiled softly and reached for the door handle. Nora took a deep breath and nodded. Nora knew there was only hope for good days for Mr. Clifton. Dementia would only get worse and it was heartbreaking that such a condition could steal a man’s life and memories.
“Did you help him find his glasses?” Nora couldn’t help but ask the question that seemed the most trivial. All the others made her sorry that life could be so unfair.
“Yes, we found them. They were wrapped up in his newspaper.” Gloria’s kind eyes were sad and Nora fought the tears that welled up in her eyes. A futile fight to say the least.
The newspaper that Mr. Clifton held so dear was one printed two years earlier. The same paper that held his wife’s obituary. He read and re-read that paper every day. Nora wished that she could find a love like that. A love that even in the face of a substantial loss would continue.
The women walked through the halls of the women’s building where they worked with the dementia and Alzheimer’s patients that lived at the veteran’s home. Nora couldn’t seem to make any sort of conversation and afraid that her distant mood might offend someone, she remained quiet. Gloria’s bubbly spirit was not easily ignored.
“You only work a four hour shift today?” Gloria asked Nora as they put away their belongings. The floor was buzzing with busy nurses as usual and Nora just wanted to get this day over. She tucked her purse away and then her sweater.
“Yea. Lucky me.” Nora heard the sarcasm that laced her words and she shook her head. Today was not going to be easy and the fact that she couldn’t get herself under control was making it harder.
“Spill it, Nora. Something happened since I saw you last and it wasn’t the fault of the lump on your head.” Gloria put her hand on her hip and lifted her dark eye brows. Nora met her friend’s eyes and then looked back down to the floor. She waited and then one more glance in Gloria’s direction made Nora huff.
“I have a week to figure out if I’m going to stay with Randy or divorce him.” Nora picked through the words carefully. The town was small and as much as she liked Gloria the wrong people could still hear the right things. Gossip was everywhere and it was something of a commodity to the users.
“Oh my goodness! You aren’t kidding, honey?” Gloria’s shock was genuine and Nora could have hugged the woman for it. After all the assumed and fabricated stories about Randy and her relationship, she just thought everyone to have believed them.
Apparently not everyone.
“No, it’s not a joke. I’m not sure what I’m going to do.” Nora sunk her hands down deep into her scrubs’ pockets.
“Gosh, I’m sorry. I just figured you were having a rocky time and you’d make it through it.” Gloria’s eyes were round and her mouth was pressed into a line. Her brows furrowed in sad confusion as she stood before Nora.
“What do you mean?” Nora asked, her heart beating a bit faster in anticipation of the answer.
“I’ve heard the gossip, sweetie. I thought the relationship was just having a bumpy start and that you’d figure it out like most of us do. You never seemed to be bothered by it.” Gloria looked at her apologetically like she could have solved the problems had she known about them.
“I am just tired of pretending to know what I want. I don’t and now I have to figure it out in a week.” Nora closed her eyes and swallowed hard. The tickle in her throat caused her to cough. Gloria’s eyes looked like a sad puppy and Nora could only shrug at the feeling of being adrift.
“This didn’t just happen out of the blue, did it? I mean something triggered the ultimatum, right?” Gloria clipped her badge onto her smock. Nora couldn’t believe how astute Gloria was in her deductions. It was lucky for her that this woman kept her own counsel. Nora clipped her badge on too and nodded. As they got ready to start their shift, they walked to the door just off the nurse’s station.
“Do you believe in fate, Gloria? Do you believe that some things are meant to happen?” Nora widened her blue eyes in question as she waited for her friend to answer. Gloria remained silent for a few seconds, her only movement was blinking her eyes. Nora felt a chill of uncertainty crawl up her spine as she waited.
“I don’t know if I believe in a pre-arranged order of events, but unexplainable things happen every day. I do believe that people enter your life for a reason.” Gloria’s cloudy thoughts passed from her face as two other nurses walked by. The sunshine came back out and their conversation was over. Still Gloria’s words remained on repeat in Nora’s mind.
Unexplainable things happen every day.
Some things had to happen and Nora found herself talking to the Head Nurse about time off. It wasn’t her intent to spill any portion of the story, but it took some convincing to get a whole week off on such short notice. Luckily, Jeanine understood the problem and thought Nora would be distracted enough without worrying about the patients she assisted.
Nora drove to the post office after her four hour shift and decided to pick up her mail. After her mail box had been smashed to pieces by the same group of teenagers three times, she’d fixed the problem by never putting it back up. Most days she was in town for one reason or another so it just made sense to have a post office box.
Pulling into one of the coveted parking spots in front of the building, Nora turned off her car and unbuckled her seat belt. Grabbing her purse from the passenger seat, she reached for the door handle. A heavy knock on her side window made her jump and clutch her purse to her chest. Her heart was beating wildly as she shot a pissed off glance at whoever it was that had scared her. Her eyes widened in surprise when she saw those silver grey eyes smiling into her face through the window. Opening the car door, Colt grinned and Nora was almost too stunned by his charm to get out of the car.
“Fancy meeting you here!” Colt pulled the door open further and offered his hand to help her out. Nora tentatively flexed her fingers as she slid them across the smoothness of his outstretched palm.
“Definitely unexpected.” Nora mumbled softly as she got to her feet and stepped clear of the car door. Colt chuckled as he closed the door. Nora’s brain couldn’t quite get passed the connection of their hands.
He’s still holding it. It wasn’t a help the old lady across the street hand holding, but a stay with me and find out how soft my bed is kind of hand holding.
“I came to pick up some stamps before getting back on the road.” Colt walked with her to the sidewalk and only dropped her hand when a couple of women walked by. Nora rolled her eyes and knew that would be all over town by tonight. Gossips were the worst.
“Oh right, you’re leaving.” Nora offered a small smile and then cut her gaze to the sidewalk and their shadows as they stood there. There was no way he couldn’t see everything she was feeling.
“I don’t guess your husband would let you come see my show in Deadwood, would he? He looked pretty pissed last night.” Colt’s voice drew her eyes back to his face. He sounded like he truly wanted her to be there. One look into those shining depths and Nora would have followed him anywhere.
“Well as it turns out, I’m free for the next week. I was going to text you and find out the details of the concert.” Nora wished she could act more casual and refined, but it wasn’t happening at that moment. She felt like the wide-eyed girl she’d been seven years ago. Colt took out his phone and swiped the scr
een with his index finger a couple of times.
“We play tomorrow night at seven at the Deadwood Mountain Grand.” Colt was genuinely excited about his music and singing had been his whole world. Going on tour was all he could talk about their summer together and Nora had been loathed to take that dream away.
Will telling him about Drew tear that dream down now? Her sneaky conscience loved to ruin the good moments, but as hard as she tried to reason that they were older, she couldn’t be sure that it wouldn’t derail his dream now.
“I can get a room for you at the hotel if you want me too.” It was a kind offer and one Nora was disinclined to turn down. She smiled and nodded.
“I’d love that. I’ll run home to pack and then be in Deadwood by tonight.” She couldn’t wipe the smile from her face. For the first time in a long time, she felt giddy and excited about something. Colt nodded with that brilliantly warm grin and reached for her hand again. This time his thumb swept over the top of her knuckles.
“I can’t wait.” The words were full of promise and full of meaning. She thought he might have leaned in for a kiss if they hadn’t been standing on the sidewalk in front of the post office. She couldn’t deny that she wanted him too. If she had a week to figure this out, she’d have to delve deeply into the vein.
“Me either. I’ll call you when I’m in Deadwood.” Nora’s voice was borderline husky and her cheeks flushed as he lifted her hand to his lips. Bravely turning her hand over to press his lips to her palm, Colt raised his eyes to gauge her reaction. Blue eyes wide and mouth half open, Nora felt the shiver of excitement slide down her spine and snuggle deep in a dark, hungry place.
Chapter 8
Randy woke up more worse for the wear. After leaving their house early this morning, he had driven to the Crossing Pines loading pens and watched the sun come up over the eastern horizon. His mind was full and his heart was empty. The weight of the world sat on his shoulders and he had no idea how to shed at least some of it.
