soz cudnt resist it J tell me more
“Who’s going first?” Mr Jones looked around. “Tyler. How about you?”
Tyler stood up and unfolded the magazine he had stuffed in his back pocket.
“Sir, I’ve brought Razzle,” he said.
The class erupted with laughter. Priss sighed in disgust, and pulled her hair around her face. Mr Jones rapped loudly on the desk.
“That’s enough!” he said. His tone cut the laughter like a guillotine. Everyone looked at him to see what would happen next.
“Okay, Tyler,” he said. “Tell us why you chose Razzle.”
Tyler’s face was that of a comedian who’s just been handed the setup of his dreams.
“’Cos it made me feel something, sir,” he said.
“And what was that?” asked Mr Jones, encouragingly.
“Horny, sir!” said Tyler, grinning like a madman and grabbing his crotch. The class was verging on hysteria, but once again Mr Jones, bizarrely out of character as Mr Tough Guy, rapped on the desk, brought it back under control.
“Horny,” he repeated, very loudly.
Everyone stopped laughing.
“That,” he said, “is a great example of the power of words. Words on a page. A description of events. And just those words – just words on a page – twenty-six letters arranged on a piece of paper can evoke our most primitive responses. Just words on a page and they can make us feel like having sex. How is that even possible?”
Priss watched curiously as Mr Jones balanced on the knife-edge he’d found for himself.
“However,” he said, “I don’t think we’ll ask Tyler to give us a reading. Thank you, Tyler, sit down, and I’ll have the name of the newsagent who sold you that magazine before you leave. Who’s next?”
LOL I wan2B in yr class! mr jones = WIN
mr jones = FUCKWIT. he’ll get fired if hes not careful
???
discussing porn wiv 15 yr old kids. FGS. askin 4 trbl. only tks 1 to complain & hes fkn finished
hmm gd point. shame he sounds lk gud guy. still 10/10 4 style YY J
so wot did U pick?
“Priss,” said Mr Jones.
“Bet it’s, like, fuckin’ Shakespeare,” Katie whispered to Destiny.
“Romeo and fuckin’ Juliet,” Destiny whispered back.
Priss held up a battered copy of The Dark Knight Returns. Mr Jones raised an eyebrow.
“A graphic novel,” he said. “Okay. That wasn’t quite what I was expecting from you, Priss, but it’s definitely an interesting choice.”
OMG you picked miller! rock’n’roll!!! go elvisgirl go elvisgirl
J J J J J
i blame U & yr influence K a yr ago wud hv picked peyton
place
BRB
“Peyton Place is a 1956 novel by Grace Metalious. Peyton Place has become an expression to describe a place whose inhabitants have sordid secrets.”
that peyton place?
YY
well I spose it did sell 60k copies w/in 10 days of release
thought U sed cldnt trust wiki LOL
damn U got me J so Y wld U pick it?
author made fortune J
that makes it good?
YY it makes it fkn good. her words moved ppl. & made fortune in process. thats wot I wan2 do
hey U will I no it
how do U no? U nvr read my stuff
got faith
tx. doesnt mean much since U hvnt read my stuff but tx J no prob. how did DK go down?
“Sir, you said to choose something that made us feel something,” said Priss, shaking her hair off her face. “I wanted to talk about - ” she thumbed through the book. “This page.”
“Okay. Why this page in particular?”
Priss took a deep breath. “So this story is, like, set in a time where Bruce Wayne is middle aged. He’s been retired for years, but the gangs are taking over Gotham. And he can’t watch that happen. So he comes back again, takes over where he left off.”
“Okay - ”
“And in this part, the Joker’s got out of Arkham Asylum and forced Selina Kyle, she used to be Catwoman, to send one of her escorts to kill the president. So all that’s, like, pretty standard for a Superhero story, right? But then, he makes her, Selina, dress up in a Wonder Woman costume, and he ties her up and leaves her on the bed.”
Connor wolf-whistled.
“Yeah, you would think that, Connor, but that’s ’cos you’re a div who can’t actually read,” said Priss, deadpan and devastating. Connor, who had been in the remedial reading programme for as long as anyone could remember, turned pale and slumped down in his seat. Mr Jones looked at her reproachfully. “See, she’s middle aged too. And the costume doesn’t fit her, it’s too small, and her make-up’s a mess. So she’s never looked worse.”
Everyone’s eyes were on her; the girls from competitive envy, the boys from low-grade lust, but Priss seemed coolly oblivious to their gaze.
“And then Bruce arrives, and he’s still, like, buff and strong and doing the superhero thing, and he finds her – he sees her – looking like that. And she’s, like, totally humiliated. ’Cos when she was Catwoman, she was, like, hotter than any of them, right? So she tells him what the Joker’s going to do, and then there’s this one panel - ”
She held the book out to Mr Jones, her slim pale finger with its silver ring and bitten nail resting on the panel.
“This one? Where he’s kissing her?”
Priss nodded. Behind her, a spitball war had broken out.
“Yeah. That’s the one. That panel. Just that one. It’s, like, so totally not the way it’s normally done in Superhero stories. Like, the men can be ordinary-looking underneath the costume, but the women are always, always gorgeous. And the men can get old and maybe a bit fat, and still get laid, but the women either don’t age, or they, like, have to retire and disappear. But just this one time, there’s a buff, powerful superhero kissing an ordinary middle-aged woman. And I’ve got no fu - no idea why. Is it ’cos he wants to make her feel better? Is it ’cos he loves her? Is it ’cos he feels sorry for her? Is it, like, a promise? Or is it just ’cos it turned him on to see her all tied up like that?”
The spitball war had now engulfed everyone apart from Priss and Mark Asher, but Mr Jones ignored it.
“You know, Priss, there aren’t actually any words on that panel,” he pointed out.
“I know, sir. That’s why I picked it.”
“So how did it make you feel?”
“Frustrated.”
Mr Jones blinked. “I’m sorry?”
“Frustrated,” she repeated. “Because, as much as I want to be a writer, that panel does something that you couldn’t ever do with words.” She sat down. “That’s all.” A spitball landed in her hair. She picked it out wearily.
“Thank you.” His eyes were warm. “I didn’t expect that at all, Priss. I’ll give you one thing, you’re always - surprising.”
She shrugged a little, hiding behind her hair again. Katie made kissing noises.
“Okay, you lot, that’s enough,” said Mr Jones. “Destiny. You’re on.”
“Sir, I chose this magazine,” said Destiny, holding up a copy of Closer.
hey, fkn good analysis. ive trained U well J
corrupted me U mean. I used 2 read real books
oh not this again PLS. graphic novels ARE real books priss
U no that
YY I no. just getting U back 4 asking if I fancied mr jones
LOL J
ha fkn ha. U no how 2 wind me up elvisgirl
u still there?
elvisgirl???
jesus fkn wept ed who the fuck RU
???
u called me by my real name
??? I DK ur real name!
YY you fkn do U CALLED ME PRISS U WANKER SCROLL
BACK UP N READ IT
oh shit
are u stalking me U freak
no priss no
; so who the fuck RU n how long hv U known who i am
priss look
no U fkn look U FOUND ME. u sent me frnd request U got
tlkn 2 me U said U wanted 2 get to no me
YY I did cos I do UR amazing
we agreed no real names 4 safety n shit U SAID U DIDNT
WANT 2 DO THE RL THING
let me explain
weve been msging 4 six fkn mths now talking abt all sorts of stuff hopes dreams wishes books writing drawing every fkn
thing and now UR just some FKN PERVERT WHO WANTS 2
JUMP ME RNT U
priss please please let me explain
OMG RU mr jones? is that why U keep fkn askin abt him n
wot I think of him n if I fancy him?
PRISS SHUT UP SHUT UP AND LISTEN IM MARK ASHER
priss? RU there?
priss please please dont do this
mark asher?
YY mark asher! OK? that fkn weirdo twat in the wheelchair.
now U no
WHAT? priss talk to me pls
fuck IDK what to say! dont no if I even believe U
Y not? its just my legs that dont work U no. fingers n brain R
all thats fkn needed 4 MSN
fuck off didnt mean that
well what then
in RL U never spk U hardly fkn move. online UR funny clever charming rude sarky. if UR rly mark then UR nothing like UR
in RL
U never bothered 2 spk to me in RL
yeah well U never bothered 2 spk 2 me U fkn wanker! weve been at skl 2gthr all fkn yr! Y not just talk 2 me? Y the fkn online act?
cos skl is den of sodomy OK? i.e. skl =shithole in case U have 4gotten. fkn animals obsessed w sex no chance 2 just B frnds U no wot hpns if boyz try 2B frnds w grlz? well? do U?
well?
ha. run rings round you logically
oh fkn hell
what? WHAT? come on elvisgirl. talk 2 me
UR rite wldnt work wld it? BUT STILL FKN PISSED OFF
WITH U, U cld hv said sumthin earlier!
was scared
??? Ed UR never scared
online am not scared. online am not crip-boy in wheelchair ed we R FRIENDS. UR scared ’cos U thk I give a fuck abt wheelchair?
every 1 has reaction to wheelchair. EVERY1
yeah well here is my reaction. U ready? NEEDING FKN WHEELS TO GET AROUND DOES NOT GET U OFF HOOK FOR FKN WANKER STALKER BHVR. capisce?
was not fkn stalking U!
YY U fkn were. still not convinced UR even telling truth TBH.
shit Im shaking
shock. go get cup of tea
cant. dad downstairs getting drunk. if I go down he’ll hit me
srsly? shit priss. wish I cld help
UR no fkn use UR in wheelchair J
RU laffing at me?
fkn rite
so we R still friends?
DK. still thinking
does it hurt?
LO fkn L ed
mark
mark. sounds weird. mark asher. UR mark asher. I sit next 2U
in english FFS
U wr awesome 2day
U wr silent 2day. Y U never spk up? UR most interesting person in class
ed is interesting not me L
but Ed is U. ED IS U. no still sounds fkn weird. U srs? UR rly
mark asher?
swear
OK, UR fkn wanker stalker arsehole
???
just following orders J prove it
prove wot?
prove UR ed
now?
next lesson
wot U want me 2 do?
shit
what?
BRB
priss?
U still there?
got 2 go
whats happening
just family stuff. dad is
dad is what?
doesnt matter will sort
priss be safe OK? be safe. pls
sez the psycho fkn stalker who sat next 2 me in English for 6
mths n never said a fkn word J J J CU tomoro
Elvisgirl has signed off
“Class, settle down!” Mr Jones shouted, uncharacteristically loud and rapped hard on the desk. “What’s the matter with you all today?” He caught Katie’s eye. “Has everyone got their periods or something?”
An uncomfortable laugh, his usually reliable humour off key this time, everything slightly off balance. There’s a strange dynamic in the room. Everyone sensing something different and no-one clear on what or why. Priss was hunched in her seat, chewing furiously on her fingernails, her make-up like a Venetian mask.
“So,” he said. “Who’s been reading what this week?”
A safe question, a reliable one, reliable answers expected from the usual suspects. Same hands going up: Courtney, Page, Jancey, Tyrone, Jamie. Priss hanging back, as always, waiting for the daft answers to get out of the way first, but he knew she’d have something to say. A new hand, something unexpected -
“Mark,” he said, slightly taken aback. Mark’s written work was solid, occasionally illustrated with sly doodles of his classmates in the margins, but he never spoke up without prompting.
“Okay. What have you been reading?”
In the background, Tyler stuck his tongue in his lower lip and made the spaz noise. Mr Jones frowned. Tyler made the noise again, slightly louder.
“A novel, sir,” said Mark.
“Okay. Which one?”
Tyler made the noise again. Mark flinched, but kept facing forward. Mr Jones got wearily to his feet, but before he could reach Tyler’s desk, Priss exploded out of her seat and shot across the room, hair flying, eyes flashing.
Priss had Tyler by his collar. He was a big lad, easily six foot and heavy with it, a slab of muscle, testosterone, fat and stupidity, but he quailed before the look in Priss’ eyes.
“If you fuckin’ ever make that noise again,” she hissed. “If you ever take the piss out of Mark like that - ”
“Yeah?” Tyler sneered, remembering himself.
Mr Jones was striding down between the desks, ready to take over.
Priss smiled sweetly, and put her raspberry-red mouth against Tyler’s ear. She whispered something. Tyler’s eyes bulged.
“I mean it,” she said. “You got it, fat-boy? And don’t even think about trying to get back at me, I know what you fuckin’ did to Jade, don’t try that with me or - ”
“Priss, stop that right now!” Mr Jones roared. Priss let go of Tyler’s collar and he sank back into his seat.
Mr Jones thought quickly. “Both of you out of here now,” he said. “Headmaster’s office. Go on.”
“Why are you sending Priss out?” demanded Katie. “She was sticking up for Mark, Sir, it’s not fair.”
A chorus of agreement erupted from the girls. Mr Jones waved an ineffectual hand for silence.
“Be quiet! Go on. The pair of you. And you’d better both arrive there. Okay? Now move!”
They were forbidden to hit or even to touch the pupils, but crowding them into movement by invading their personal space was allowed, and Mr Jones used it now. Tyler shrugged and climbed out of his seat. Priss began to retreat down the aisle, but her attention was somewhere else. She was watching Mark.
“What was the book?” Priss demanded, her eyes fixed on him.
“You didn’t need to do that!” Mark was pale with anger. “I don’t need you to fight my battles for me!”
“Fuck off, you twat, I fuckin’ did. What was the book?”
“Priscilla, you will not use that language in my classroom, you’re already in enough trouble - ”
“Just tell me what book you read!”
He nearly had them herded through the doorway now, but Priss was still staring at Mark. The classroom was in uproar. Mark had to shout over the noise.
“It was Peyton Place!”
“For God’s sake!” Mr Jones finally had them outside in the corridor, and closed the door on the mayh
em within. “Tyler, off you go. Priss, what’s got into you?”
“Sorry, sir.” She was looking demurely downwards, but couldn’t hide the fact that she was grinning from ear to ear.
“I don’t want you to apologise, I want you to explain. What was that all about?”
“Sir, you heard Tyler making that fuckin’ mong noise. It’s not on.”
There was something else, he knew, but he didn’t have time to get to the bottom of it now. Christ only knew what they were doing in that classroom without him.
“It’s my job to keep discipline in the classroom, Priscilla, not yours, and I won’t have you physically attacking other students. Now go to the headmaster.”
RU there ed?
cum on I no UR. uve got ‘appear offline’ on & UR hiding
talk 2 me U wnkr
pls
wot U wan2 talk abt?
why RU hiding?
cos I DONT NEED U TO FIGHT MY BATTLES priss
wot was I spsd 2 do? just sit there n let him get away w it?
YY U were! my fight. not yrs. get it? want yr FRIENDSHIP.
not yr pity
look wasn’t fkn abt U OK?
???
realised last nite Ive never hrd U spk. U don’t spk cos wen U open yr mth the boys all make fkn noises. thats not rite. U cld be best frnd or worst NME, still not rite. shld hv dun it mths ago. cant sit on arse & listen 2 that shit & still think of self as human being K
ed?
OK thats quite sweet actually
fuck off Ed am not sweet
YY UR. but dont eva fight my war 4me again. dont need it. hv
own weapons
Yr wheels R loaded?
LOL am hiding lite under bushel. 1 day will burst out into full
brilliance. lk U
am not hiding
YY UR. so do U believe who i am now?
OK yeah. i admit it. UR mark asher
J wot did U say 2 tyler?
sed id tell every1 wot i saw him doing last term
so?
he wuz havin wank in woods
!!! OMG teenage boy has wank!!! call out vice police!!! Y he
care?
was havin it 2 beefcake in mens health
tyler = gay?
must be
huh. feel better about U havin go @ him now I no U got
summat good 2 keep him away
can look after self U no
yeah well so can I. U still showed up 4 me J
so now what?
i got killer idea 4 graphic novel. can draw pics. need writer
U srs?
fkn rite Im srs J so wan2 meet IRL?
The Summer We All Ran Away Page 18
