by Aubrey Gross
Chase had turned off the water and was in the process of drying off his hands. “What do you know, Matt? You’ve barely been around for the past ten years.”
Matt shrugged. “What I know is that baseball and life are both games of failure, and it isn’t about the failure itself, but how you respond to the failure. So you both screwed up and failed once. You have a second chance. How are you going to respond?”
Chase threw the towel onto the island. “See what I’ve been dealing with? Baseball Yoda!”
Matt smiled and turned towards the living room. “Speaking of baseball, I do believe there’s a game coming on.”
As he walked into the living room his smile fell. As much fun as it was to dish out advice to Chase, his little brother wasn’t the only one who’d screwed up and failed once upon a time. And just like Chase, he was being given the opportunity to respond to that failure. The problem was, Jenn didn’t seem to be remotely interested in letting him atone for his mistakes.
It's not like you've tried all that hard, either. He turned on the game, hoping to shut his conscience up.
#
Jenn stood on Chase’s front porch, her hand hovering just above the doorknob, ready to turn it and walk inside.
Except she couldn’t.
Her hand just stayed there, an inch away from the knob. It wouldn’t move. Refused, really.
She looked at that hand. Such an ordinary hand. It did things for her all the time. Dialed her phone. Held a knitting needle. Petted her cat. Wrote on the dry erase board in her classroom.
So why couldn’t it open a freaking door?
She shook her head. Looked at her hand. Willed it to just turn. the. damned. knob.
Ugh! What the hell was wrong with her?
She could hear voices from inside. Bo and Sarah. Chase. Matt.
Freaking Matt.
Why was she so freaked out about seeing him, anyway? It wasn’t like they hadn’t seen each other last night. Hell, they’d spent time alone with each other last night. Well, alone in a Whataburger. Whatever. There hadn’t been the buffer of Chase, Jo or Owen, or even the distraction of jersey chasers.
It had been weird.
Unsettling.
Somehow, over the past ten years, Matt had grown up a little bit. He’d once been a brash, cocky young pitcher experiencing the kind of success most little boys only dream about. Last night, he’d been a quiet, sort of funny, surprisingly introspective man who seemed a little tired.
He was still a jerk, though.
“Does the door knob have teeth or something?”
Jenn jumped at the sound of Owen’s voice, her hand slamming up against her chest.
Hey, her hand finally moved!
“Jesus, Owen, you scared me.”
“Sorry. The way you were just standing there, I was wondering if I’d somehow fallen into that scene from Labyrinth.”
Jenn fought to get her racing heart under control. “Which scene?”
Owen raised a red eyebrow. “Wow. You must be really out of it today. The scene where she’s having to choose which door to open?”
Considering she’d seen Labyrinth, oh, sixty someodd times, the fact that she hadn’t immediately picked up on Owen’s reference was worrisome to say the least.
Freaking Matt.
“None shall pass,” she murmured. That was somehow weirdly appropriate. Or at least it felt weirdly appropriate.
“Well then, may I have your permission, my lady?” Owen bowed, making Jenn laugh.
She gestured towards the door. “By all means.”
Owen stepped up onto the wide front porch and stood beside her. “So this door isn’t going to bite me or grab me and take me into a crazy world full of goblins and puppets?”
“Goblins, maybe. I don’t know about the puppets.”
Owen nodded. “Right.”
He wrapped his hand around the knob, but paused before turning it. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
Jenn smiled. Owen really was a great friend. The best. “I’m fine. Just a little tired.”
“Matt keep you up late last night?”
Something that sounded like a fork caught in a garbage disposal rumbled out of Jenn’s throat. Owen slapped her on the back a few times, only making it worse.
Oh, God. She couldn’t breathe.
She was going to die on Chase’s front porch with Owen thinking God knew what.
“Holy shit, Jenn. Did you and Matt…?” Owen asked, his voice a low whisper.
Jenn shook her head, breathed through her nose. Jesus, she needed to calm the fuck down.
Stat.
Otherwise people were going to get the wrong idea about her and Matt.
Or maybe it was the right idea. Hell, she didn’t even know anymore.
Owen rubbed her back as she fought to get her breathing under control. “Care to tell me what that was all about?”
Jenn groaned and rested her head on his shoulder. “Sorry. I think a bug flew down my throat.”
“Uh huh.”
She squeezed her eyes shut and swallowed. Pull yourself together, woman.
"I'm fine, really.”
“No, you’re not.”
She sighed. “You’re right. I’m really not, but I kind of have to be, or at least I have to try to act like everything’s okay and it’s totally not okay.”
“Am I going to have to drag it out of you?”
Jenn stepped back and tightened her ponytail. “Yes and no.”
Owen raised his eyebrows and crossed his arms over his chest, leveling her with that look of his that made her want to confess all of her crazy thoughts and secrets. He really did know her too well. Better than Chase in some ways.
She drew in a deep breath. “I’ll be fine, Owen. You know Matt and I don’t get along.”
“I’ve always wondered why that was.”
She lifted one shoulder in a gesture she hoped came across as casual. Knowing her luck she probably just looked like she had a twitch. “We just don’t. Never really have.”
“That’s not the way I understand it. From what I’ve heard you were pretty indifferent towards each other growing up, and then one day you suddenly hated each other.”
That was so not the truth. It was just easier to let everyone believe that. “Owen, it’s not a big deal. Just let it go, okay?”
He looked her over. Shook his head. Sighed. “I can’t believe we’re even having this conversation. I feel like a fucking girl.”
She snorted. “Don’t worry. Your secret’s safe with me.”
As she finally grabbed the door knob and twisted it, Owen dropped his voice to just above a whisper and asked, “You know your secret’s safe with me, too, right?”
The door swung open and she stepped inside. Her gaze immediately went to Matt—damn it—and she flushed from head to toe when he turned his head away from the game on TV and stared back at her, heat and wariness mingling in his hazel eyes. She nodded her head. Managed to look away from all that masculine temptation and step all the way into the foyer.
Beside her, Owen whistled low, chuckled and whispered in her ear, “So how long have you two been sleeping together?”
She elbowed him in the stomach and hightailed it towards the kitchen.
Chapter Five
Matt resisted the urge to follow Jenn into the kitchen, and instead stayed where he was in the living room, standing beside the couch and pretending to watch the Nationals beat up on the Cubs. The Wranglers’ game was due to start in about thirty minutes.
He was trying not to think about the fact that today would have been his day to start.
Instead of standing in his brother’s living room, he should have been standing on the mound, tossing warmup pitches to Miguel, who was back with the Wranglers this season after having been traded to Detroit five years ago. Miguel had made it to the bigs a year before Matt, and for the first five years of Matt’s career he had been the starting catcher. When the team had brought Miguel back this year, Mat
t hadn’t hesitated to ask for Miguel as his primary catcher. It was like no time at all had passed, and the two had picked up where they’d left off. There was a lot to be said about having a good relationship with your catcher, and Matt and Miguel’s chemistry had led to Matt teasing with a handful of no hitters this season, not to mention the perfect game he’d been throwing before he took a line drive to the head.
Stupid fucking line drive.
He was pulled out of his self-indulgent pity party by Owen stepping next to him. The other man crossed his arms over his chest, pinned his gaze on the television and quietly said, “I know you’re not the player the public seems to think you are, and that you’re deep down a pretty decent guy, but don’t fuck with Jenn.”
Matt turned his head and looked at Owen. “I’m not.”
Owen met Matt’s gaze. “I’m not saying you are, but I’m telling you not to. Jenn’s like a sister to me, and she comes across like she’s tough as nails, but she’s not.”
“I think she’s tougher than you’re giving her credit for.” Matt wasn’t sure how he knew that, but he did. While he knew just how soft Jenn could be—dammit—he also knew that she was strong and had rock solid core beliefs.
He also suspected what had happened between them ten years ago had been a complete aberration on her part.
Some people just weren’t built for casual, and he’d bet his entire savings account that Jenn was one of those people.
#
Ten Years Ago, San Antonio, Texas
This wasn’t a casual thing.
Matt wasn’t sure what it was, but he did know it wasn’t casual.
It was hard to be casual with someone you’d known for almost twenty years, who’d known you long before you became the guy everyone thought they knew.
He shook his head. Hell, that barely made sense to him, and he was the one who’d thought it.
They'd come back up to Jenn's hotel room--he glanced at the alarm clock on the night stand—God, three hours ago. Three hours of talking and laughing. Curfew had been an hour ago, and he’d completely missed it.
Hopefully no one had figured out he wasn’t where he was supposed to be.
Not that he was doing anything wrong. He was just spending some time with an old friend. An old friend who until three hours ago had been someone he could barely call a friend. She’d been more than an acquaintance, obviously, but they’d never really been friends. While he’d known surface things about her—like her job, that she had a great sense of humor and that she wasn’t partial to having frogs shoved down her bathing suit—he hadn’t ever really bothered to scratch below the surface. She’d always been his little brother’s best friend, and that had been more than enough to keep him at arm’s length.
Somewhere along the way, though, Jenn had grown up and was no longer that gangly little girl he remembered teasing.
Finding an unexpected camaraderie, however, did not explain the pressure in his chest or the erection he’d been sporting for the past three hours. He kept reminding himself that this was Jenn—his little brother’s best friend and not a woman he particularly wanted to screw over. Screw, yes. Screw over? Nope.
Determined to ignore the urge to stay all night in this hotel room with her (preferably naked), Matt stood up and yawned. “I need to get back to my room. Curfew’s come and went already.”
He didn’t miss how her eyes traveled up and down the length of his body as he stretched, or how her gaze caught just below his waist and held a few beats longer than necessary before her cheeks turned pink and she glanced away.
He’d never expected leaving this room to be so damned hard.
She stood, too, and they awkwardly stared at each other. Where was this awkwardness coming from? He was never awkward with women.
Disgusted with himself, Matt stepped towards Jenn. “It was great seeing you. I had fun tonight.”
Jenn smiled. “I did, too. Shockingly.”
He laughed. Awkwardly. “Well, good night.”
“Good night, Matt.”
He didn’t move. She didn’t move. Why was this so weird and awkward? Any other woman he would hug her, or kiss her good night, or bend her over the bed.
He wanted to do all of that with Jenn, he just wasn’t sure if he should.
Jenn shook her head and sighed. “This is awkward. Why is this so awkward? We’ve known each other forever, so why the awkward all of a sudden?”
He was so glad he wasn’t the only one feeling all the awkward. Instead of saying that, though, he just shrugged and said, “I don’t know.”
He did know. She knew. They both knew the other knew, considering the tension was so thick you could cut it with a rusted butter knife.
And yet they stood there, staring at each other like they didn’t know where all the awkward was coming from or what they wanted to do about all the awkward.
Determined to shut off his brain and not think about what he was doing—or what this awkward thing was between them—he stepped forward and pulled her into a hug. Her body was warm and almost vibrating with all the…awkward…floating in the air between them and fuck it, he was going to kiss her because he couldn’t not kiss her.
He pressed his lips against hers and she froze.
He froze.
Like ice sculptures in the Arctic, they froze.
Well that’s really awkward.
He pulled away slightly, his thoughts a muddled jumble in his head thanks to beer, the couple of miniature bottles of tequila he’d had earlier, and Jenn. She drew in a shaky breath and then nervously wet her lips with her tongue.
It was like the sun came out, melting away all the ice. Their gazes met and held, and then he was moving and she was moving, their mouths colliding almost violently. Without his usual finesse, he claimed her mouth with his own, a primal need pulsing through his body, demanding that he claim this woman now.
She moaned, her hands tugging and pulling his hair. Her body squirmed against his, and he backed her up two steps until her back hit the wall. She wrapped her legs around his waist—who knew Jenn was so flexible?—and he could feel her wet heat through their clothes.
He was harder than he could ever remember being in his life, and all that mattered was getting inside of her. Right. Fucking. Now.
Matt grabbed the hem of Jenn’s shirt and quickly pulled it off her body and over her head, threw it somewhere behind him. Her hands were under his shirt, frantically working it up his torso. He grabbed the back of it, drew it off and threw it in the general direction of hers.
She ground against him, and he ground right back. She gasped. He undid the front clasp of her bra with one hand, pushed the cups aside and captured a nipple with his mouth. Her breasts were tiny and perfect, her nipples light pink. He nipped at her breasts, the swell of each and the nipples, making Jenn cry out and moan in that slightly husky voice of hers.
“I have to have you. Now.”
She moaned in response and pressed her pelvis against his.
Matt reached down and unbuttoned her pants, slid the zipper down before pushing the denim to her ankles, taking her panties with them. She kicked them off and stood before him, naked and ready.
He’d never seen anything more beautiful in his life.
Her skin was flushed, her fair coloring and freckles like peaches and cream.
He had to taste.
He dropped to his knees, pushed her legs wide open and buried his face between her legs. Jenn automatically tilted her hips for a better angle, and he lifted one of her legs, bracing it on one of his shoulders before spearing her with his tongue. Her hips rolled as he tasted her, her movements and breathy moans picking up their pace.
He found her center with one finger, working her with it and his tongue. She clenched around him and her breath caught as her entire body tightened and then relaxed. He slowed his movements, lapping at her until the last of the tremors had passed through her body.
Matt looked up at Jenn. A secretive smile played with her lip
s, and she pulled him back up to his feet before kissing him. He knew she would be able to taste herself on his lips and tongue, and the thought had his dick twitching behind his zipper.
Speaking of…he quickly divested himself of his jeans, threw them off to the side and walked Jenn back to the bed. They tumbled onto the sheets together, laughing with the ease of two people who have known each other for forever and who suddenly no longer felt awkward with one another. He moved to hover over her, but before he could roll her underneath him, Jenn pushed up and managed to maneuver him onto his back.
Okay, so he hadn’t exactly fought her.
She flashed that secret smile again and kissed him. His hands gripped her hips, and she slid down until he was pressing up and in to her wet heat.
He gripped her hips harder, and held her in place. “Condom,” he gasped out.
He never forgot protection. Ever.
“I’m on the pill.”
“I’m clean.” He felt like that was something he needed to tell her, something she would find important.
She sent him another one of those secret smiles and said, “Good” before sliding all the way home.
And just liked that, he was wrecked.
#
Present Day, Del Rio, Texas
Jenn had to escape.
She’d thought she could do this—sit here on the Fourth of July at Chase’s house and hang out with Matt and Bo and Sarah. But she couldn’t.
It was just all so awkward.
“I’m gonna go grab a drink. Anyone need anything?”
Owen asked for another beer, so Jenn retreated inside to the less awkward environment of Chase’s kitchen.
Only to stumble upon Chase and Jo making out next to the island.
Awkward.
Her two best friends jumped apart from each other, Jo blushing mightily, and Jenn smiled. She couldn’t help it—Jo and Chase were meant for each other.
