by T. L Smith
I needed to leave. This place wasn’t good for my soul anymore, but I just couldn’t seem to do it. I still held onto the hope that one day he wouldn’t go to work and he’d tell me he loved me. I hadn’t heard those words uttered to me since I was five. We had no other family, all I had was my father and we’d both turned cold.
Love? What was that?
As far as I was concerned, love was just a word.
“Jaya, Jaya,” our neighbor, Betty, called my name and waved in my direction. For someone so old, she sure as shit had tons of energy. Her gray hair was up in a floral head wrap, and too much jewelry adorned her wrists.
“Yes, Miss Betty?”
She waved me over, and I stepped off the porch through our perfectly manicured lawn, thanks to the gardener. I put on a fake smile as I reached her.
“Don’t Miss Betty me, Jaya. Something’s changing, can you feel it?” Her eyes looked down then up at me. “You’re changing, and it’s all to do with someone new in your life.” Her voice dropped to a whisper as her eyes darkened. “Be careful, Jaya. Those who play in the dark carry handfuls of acid ready to eat away at your heart.”
Her words never made sense to me and I tried not to pay too much attention to her theories. She was old and losing her mind. My father always told me to stay away from her. Betty had told him not to go to work that day twenty years ago, but he never listened.
“I’m always careful, Miss Betty. Haven’t you met my father?” I joked with her. She stood up tall, her eyes taking on sunshine and not seeming so dark, as she turned to pick up the shovel and got back to her gardening.
“Stephen works too much...” she paused and continued, “... I worry what that’s done to you.”
I smiled, but it was forced. Betty would sometimes watch out for me when Dad had to work late. After my mother died, he only worked during school hours. But I didn’t see him more. Instead, he locked himself away in his office.
“I’m fine, Miss Betty. Enjoy your day.”
She nodded, looking down at her garden and dismissing me. I planned to go shopping today, but that plan entirely vanished when my cell rang, and it was Toska. She wanted me to come to her house, and I wanted to tell her no. But I also wanted to see him again.
IT WAS A SMALL COMPLEX where Toska lived—four houses were joined together, and hers was at the end. Toska opened the door with a cigarette held in her lips and bottle of wine in her hand. She smiled when she saw me.
“You left the other night.”
I nodded as she stepped aside for me to follow her in. The place was dark and empty, only one couch sat in the middle of the room with the television on the floor.
“You want a glass?”
I shook my head in answer. She sat on the floor on a large bright pink pillow, crossing her legs in front of her. She tipped the bottle of wine to her lips and drank.
“I haven’t seen you for ages.” My words dripped, my eyes scanned her as the cigarette touched her lips again as she placed the bottle on the ground. A smirk played on Toska’s lips.
“I was off being bad, so very bad.”
Before I could ask her how, the front door opened and Syler stepped in. He was holding a bottle of wine and a pack of cigarettes. Toska jumped up, snatching both from his hands, then walked to the open kitchen behind where she was sitting. My eyes were glued to him, as his eyes were firmly focused on me. It seemed to be our game, to stare at each other to see who would crack first.
“He wants to fuck you,” Toska said, watching him. As her words sunk in, I blushed. My cheeks heated quickly, and I wanted to scream at them for being so childish. “The tension’s so thick that if you two don’t fuck, I’ll have to find someone to fuck.”
His eyes left mine to move to her. He was dressed much like he was that night. Black suits him, obviously.
“Aren’t you meant to be working today?” I asked her. My eyes were off Syler and back on Toska.
She lit another cigarette and smiled. “Yep.”
“Do you want me to take you?”
His movement was quiet, and he disappeared without a word, the only thing I saw was the door shut when I turned.
“No,” she answered as I looked back to her.
“What does your brother do?”
A smirk danced on her lips. “He’s a hacker. There’s all fancy shit in there. I’m never allowed in there.” She studied me, her eyes squinting as she did. “You’re crushing on him, aren’t you? You don’t just want to fuck him, you actually like him.”
“Why must everything be about fucking?” I asked her. She was always telling me about her latest conquest. It could be very tiring.
“Because, baby girl, to fall for the madman you must first taste the devil.” Her words made no sense. Then again, sometimes she didn’t either. She pressed a few buttons on the television remote and then pulled out a little black pouch. I watched her, having no idea why I was there, and I realized pretty quickly that I didn’t want to be.
I should have been anywhere but there.
But instead of leaving, I sat on her dirty couch and watched as she placed the needle to her skin and inserted it straight into a vein. My heart hammered as I watched her, but I didn’t do anything to stop her either. I never even said anything. Toska was her own person and she knew her own mind, and if she chose to stick needles into her arm who the fuck was I to say anything to the contrary? It might not be my choice, but it seemed to be hers.
Turning to his door then glancing back at her, her eyes rolled back, and the needle dropped to the floor as she fell backward. Crawling over to her, I placed my fingers on her neck to check if she was alive. Her breathing was deep, and she was definitely alive.
I stood, walking to his door.
I thought about telling Syler I was about to leave, but right at that second, his door opened and his green eyes darkened as they locked with mine. His hand skirted out, pushing me against the wall just outside of his door, my back slamming into it. He leaned forward, his face coming extremely close, his nose running the length of my collarbone, his hands trapping me on either side.
Closing my eyes, I begged him to kiss me, to feel whatever power he would hold over me. I wanted to know the touch of his lips. But it never came. Instead, I opened my eyes to find him watching me intently.
“Run, little Mouse.”
His words made me jump, his voice was so deep, so intense. It shook me so much that every bone in my body knew who said it. He lifted his hands, releasing me from his clutches.
It was then I started to fall for this sea green-eyed devil.
It was then that my choice was made.
It was then that fate had me in her clutches.
Chapter 3
Introduction
Trying to keep my distance from Toska was like continually shooing away a needy puppy because she was always there. She craved attention, not just from me, but from all those around her. She was hard to escape. It took two more weeks before I agreed to go anywhere with her again—this time it was to a different party.
Her brother was driving us to this one, so I didn’t have to. That felt odd to me, to not be driving, to have someone else do it, someone I barely knew driving me around. Especially someone who had such a powerful effect on me, an effect that I didn’t want. Syler Hunter was my own Kryptonite, and each day I spent with them, new barriers where broken and each step forward led me to him.
His black Ford Mustang pulled up in front of my house. I was thankful my father was never home because the noise that car produced brought Betty out on her veranda. She squinted while looking at the car.
Toska stuck her body out of the window, cupped her hands over her mouth and yelled my name. Loudly.
“Jaya, Jaya... acid, Jaya. Acid,” Betty said to me as I walked toward the car. Lifting my hand, I offered her a small wave, not glancing her way as I stepped closer to Toska, whose head was still sticking out the window.
“You’re going to get laid tonight,” Toska sun
g in a high-pitched voice as she disappeared into the car.
Pulling open the door, I found myself face to face with Syler. Tonight, he was clean-shaven, his dark hair styled, his lips so fucking kissable. His wrist had a bracelet I hadn’t seen before, wrapped around a few times with something else tied to it. He noticed me staring and dropped his hand from the wheel.
“So where are we going?” I turned to peek at the back. Toska was on her cell, her feet up on the back of her brother’s seat. She was smirking.
“We’re going to be bad tonight, Jaya, so fucking bad.” Her eyes sparkled with intensity and something sinister before she glanced back down at her cell. Syler started the car and took off. I watched him from the corner of my eye and then turned to face him, so he knew I was watching him. It didn’t faze him in the slightest. Rock music blasted through the speakers and rain came down hard on the car as the sun disappeared and the moon shone brightly.
“Do you speak to everyone as much as you talk to me?” I asked him, knowing the only way I would get anything from him was if I asked for it. Syler didn’t seem like the kind of man who gave anything willingly. He tapped his fingers on the steering wheel, then turned ever so slightly toward me.
“You’re a lucky one.”
A smirk touched my lips. “I wouldn’t go so far as to call me lucky.” My hands dropped into my lap, and I turned back to face forward.
He didn’t look at me as he changed gears, pulling down a quiet street where cars were lined up along the sides, letting me know we were close to our destination. His jaw twitched, and I knew he wanted to say something more, he was just thinking about the right words.
I never bothered to think about anything before I said it. I’d always said what was on my mind and let it fall freely from my lips. He was quiet and a thinker.
He pulled to a stop behind a blue sedan, and I turned to see Toska swaying her head to the music in her ears. I tapped her foot, and she pulled the earbuds out then climbed from the car. Syler was the last to get out, and when he did, we were already walking into the party. I glimpsed behind me to see his head down, but his eyes were looking at me as he walked.
“Do you have one?” she asked as she intertwined my arm with hers. She had a knife in her hand, and she smiled and finished with, “For protection.”
It was a lie. Toska wasn’t very good at lying because her eyebrow twitched when she lied. It was something I picked up when I worked with her. I would ask her a simple question like ‘Have you cleaned the toilets?’ and she would reply ‘yes’ but her eyebrow would twitch. So I’d check it out and soon realized she’d done fuck all.
“She doesn’t need one.” His words came from next to me, and Toska dropped my arm.
“Maybe you’re right. Maybe she only needs you, big brother.” Then she skipped off, leaving me with Syler again. I would say it felt like déjà vu, but this time he spoke to me. His eyes penetrated me more than any other person had ever looked at me before, but I liked it. I liked the way he looked at me, like he needed to figure me out, because right at that moment he couldn’t. I was an egg he couldn’t crack, and it was clear he didn’t like that.
“You’ll protect me from the big bad wolf?” I joked with him as we sat on the stone wall out front of the house. I didn’t really want to go in. I was more than happy to sit out front all night, instead of inside listening to the drunks. I turned toward the door to look for Toska, and I felt Syler before I saw him. His hands came to either side of me, trapping me in as he leaned down, so his mouth was right next to my ear. His smell was intoxicating, his breath hot.
“I’m the big bad wolf. It’s me you need protection from.”
I believed him, but I didn’t care. He pulled his head away from my ear, so he was searching my eyes. I wanted to kiss him, I wanted those gorgeous lips on mine, and I wanted to taste what he tasted like just once.
Only a taste.
He seemed to know what I was thinking because he went to pull away, but I didn’t allow him to. He may have thought I was shy or even a nobody, but I was about to become somebody to him. I moved forward and touched my lips to his, but he didn’t move to kiss me back, and I didn’t move for a second, remembering he didn’t like to be touched. I felt him exhale, and so I moved my lips against his, tasting a man who had done nothing but look at me like he couldn’t figure me out. Instead of steering clear, I was drawn to him, and now I was officially his Mouse. Scared of the big bad wolf in every way possible, but also deeply attracted to him. I wanted what he could give, and I had a feeling only he could give it to me.
An idea popped into my head, of hostages and how they fell in love with their captors. I could see him being that cold. He started to kiss me back, his lips moving after the initial shock, and then his hand moved into my hair. He gripped it fiercely, pulling me back. I had to move my hands down, so I didn’t fall, but his lips didn’t stop moving. Our tongues danced together. Then his lips left mine, his forehead touching me as he breathed hard. He pulled away from me, grabbing his cell to check the screen. He smirked and stood tall.
The Wolf.
His smirk definitely scared me.
“Go home, Mouse.” He walked off, leaving me half on the stone wall and half in the garden. I jumped down and chased him through the house to spot him going upstairs. I was chasing him up, and he didn’t hear me. The music in the house was too loud, but I managed to catch him as he opened a door. He turned, but it was too late, I saw it.
“Jaya,” Toska said my name.
Syler growled at me as he pulled me into the room, slamming the door shut. My feet were frozen. My heart was ready to leave my chest.
“Jaya,” Toska said my name again.
Glancing up at her, I couldn’t say or do anything but stare.
The blood, all the blood reminded me of my mother and the day she died.
“Okay, maybe it was a bad idea! Just end it for her,” Toska said as if her words meant nothing.
Eyes wide, I stared at Syler, and in his hand was a hatchet.
My first thought was, where did he hide that?
As I glanced up, his face held a blank expression—mask on and all business.
Wait! End it for me?
I stepped back, knowing clearly now what she’d just said. Toska was naked, and below her was a man who was also naked. She frightened me. Dread was rooting me to the spot as I looked at her, and the way she seemed, she was the happiest I’d ever seen her.
Staring down at the guy below her, it was clear they’d just had sex, but then she must have slit his throat. The knife she showed me earlier was in her hand, and it was covered in blood.
All the blood slammed me back to that day.
To her.
My mother.
To how the blood became my favorite thing.
To that stand-out factor.
Blood.
I later learned it was head trauma—the man who tried to rob our house didn’t expect anyone to be inside, least of all my mother, who he snuck up on and hit on the head so hard that it fractured her skull, killing her instantly. I found her, and it was hours before my father came home to find me sitting in blood next to her.
I’d come to like blood, it was intriguing. The way it moved, its crimson color, its consistency, the metallic smell.
Ever since that day I had changed, maybe not in the best way either. The older I got, the more I realized my thoughts weren’t normal.
But Toska, well Toska, was less than fucking normal. Maybe my normal and abnormal thoughts about the blood weren't as bad now that I saw her in action.
Toska and the victim were both covered in blood, but another thing that shocked me more than the blood—not the blood I was good with, the blood I was used to—was that there was another man naked on the floor. There were two men, but only one was dead. And the second man, well, that was what freaked me out the most.
Did she plan to kill him, too?
Syler moved just the slightest bit, and I pushed back.
>
“Don’t you fucking dare,” I swore at him and he smirked at me.
“You like it, don’t you? You like the blood?” These words came from Toska. She rose to stand over the man with the slit throat and his cock slipped from inside her.
She was fucking him when she killed him.
I wonder if Syler saw this all the time.
Did he watch his sister getting fucked then come to clean up her mess?
“Your eyes are glistening, maybe you can live,” Toska said, walking to the bathroom, leaving me with Syler.
The man who was unconscious was moving. He groaned and stood just as the noise of the shower came on from within the ensuite. Syler didn’t look back to him as he watched me. He knew the man was up, and the hatchet in his hand moved only the slightest bit. Then he threw it, his eyes leaving me just for a second before they returned.
“Do you want to run, little Mouse? Because I will find you.”
No words left my mouth. The shower stopped, and he stepped away from me to pull his hatchet from the body lying inches from his feet.
“Do you do this often?” I asked.
He pulled out a cloth from his jeans, wiped the blade and with those sea-green eyes, he glanced up at me.
“Yes, she needs it.”
My head couldn’t wrap around that statement. Then I remembered the other party on the news.
“Do you need her?”
His head dropped to the side while I looked at the man who was naked, the one she was fucking, then back to him.
“If you’re asking if I fuck my sister, then the answer would be no. If you’re asking do I kill for her, then the answer is yes.” He stepped closer to me. The blade from his hatchet touched my leg, the coldness of the metal sent a shiver through my body.
“Do you want to kill me?” I asked him, but before he could answer, the door to the ensuite opened, and I felt her presence as she stepped out.
