by Melissa Haag
“Please, Thomas. I need you to go.”
“I can’t.” I didn’t lift my head. Didn’t she see what she was doing to me? To us? Keeping us apart wasn’t helping either of us. We needed each other.
“You can, but don’t want to. Please,” she said again.
“One more bite,” I said, begging.
“You promised. Never again.”
“Not me. You. Bite me one more time.”
I lifted my head as she turned to look at me.
“You were starting to hurt me,” she said softly. “I’m sorry I bit you, but you wouldn’t wake up.”
“I didn’t mean to sleep on you or scare you. I’ll go back to my spot by the door. Just one more bite, Charlene.”
I needed the feel of her teeth on me again. It was as close to Claiming as she and I could get.
She hesitated. I could see she wanted to. But that wasn’t what she said.
“No. I’m not ready for that.”
I growled in frustration and dropped my head to her shoulder.
“Thomas...you should go.”
“I should,” I agreed. “But I can’t get past this feeling...this rejection. When I’m not with you, it feels as if there’s a hole in my chest, and when you’re close enough to touch, my hand tingles until it hurts. I’ve been waiting for you to show any sign you feel a tenth of what I do, but you don’t. Your disregard just makes the hole in my chest grow larger, emptier. I’m lost, drowning on feelings I don’t understand and losing to instincts that don’t work with you. I can’t sleep. I don’t taste what I eat. And every time I breathe in, your scent torments me. Everything I want is right here, yet I have nothing.”
She remained silent.
“Charlene, please, give me something.”
“Do you promise not to take more than I’m willing to give?”
Was she worried I would attack her like the others? Before she could blink, I traded positions with her. She straddled my stomach, looking down at me as I lay on my back. Would it be enough for her to feel like she was in power?
“I swear, nothing more than you give,” I promised her, setting my hands on her knees.
Her pulse hammered in time with mine and her hands flattened on my chest.
Slowly, she leaned over me, closing the distance between us. Her breath fanned my face. Then, she hesitated.
“I don’t understand why you want me to bite you.”
“I don’t either,” I said, honestly. “It’s not what you think. Well, it is in a way, but it’s more. I feel like we’ll be closer then.”
She leaned down further, until her chest touched mine. I turned my head, giving her access to anything she wanted to nibble on. Ear, jaw, neck. My fingers twitched on her knees. I wanted her to nibble everywhere.
“I can’t, Thomas. I’m sorry,” she said, quickly sliding off me.
I couldn’t move. If I did, I would grab her and have her under me and my teeth in her neck. Instead I focused on my breathing, the other sounds in the building, and my link to my pack. After several moments, control returned. Not much, but enough to stand and move to the door.
There I sat and watched her get back into bed.
It took a long while for her breathing to even out again. During that time, nothing changed for me. I needed her teeth on me. The compulsive thought was like the pull the first time I scented her. I couldn’t explain why I needed her, just that I did.
When she slept, I stood and crossed the room again. This time, I eased myself down on her in the same position in which I’d woken.
It didn’t take her long to wake, angry.
“Thomas, get off me.”
I didn’t move.
“Thomas, I’m serious. You’re too heavy.”
The volume of her words proved she was getting enough air.
She shoved at me.
“Fine. Have it your way.”
She turned her head and bit into the skin of my neck.
A shock jolted through me, and I exhaled the breath I’d been holding. In my head, I felt her connection settle with the rest. It wasn’t as firm or sure, but it was there. I could touch it and feel her. Feel her emotions.
Charlene? I sent her. I could feel my thought hadn’t gone anywhere. The connection was too weak for that. But not too weak to feel her anger.
Her teeth released me.
“I’m certain, I made myself clear before. Out of my bed.”
I lifted myself off her as she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. I gently kissed her upturned palm.
She was mine. I’d Claimed her. Well, she’d Claimed me. That made it even better. Hers.
She frowned and I could feel confusion on top of her anger. She hadn’t yet realized what she’d done.
“Move, Thomas. Now, or so help me, you won’t like what happens next.”
I chuckled, kissed her forehead, and rolled to the side. Sighing, I pulled her to my chest and hugged her close.
“Whether you like it or not,” I said, “you’re my world now. Sleep. I promise I won’t wake you again.” I pressed a kiss to her temple and relaxed.
Her anger spiked and she elbowed me in the ribs. I grunted and quickly caught her arm when she would have given me another.
“Sweetheart, why are you so angry?”
She sat up and glared down at me.
“Sweetheart? Since when am I your sweetheart? And I’m angry because you’re ignoring me.”
Ignoring her?
“I am most definitely not ignoring you.”
“Then why are you still in my bed?”
I grinned.
“Because I’m not ignoring you.”
“You are making absolutely no sense.”
“Charlene, what do you feel?” I asked, studying her face.
“Annoyed.”
I pushed the desire I felt for her toward our link, and her eyes widened.
“And now?” I asked.
“How did you know...?”
“Because what you felt wasn’t your emotion; it was mine.” I gently tugged on a piece of her hair. “Did you know the moonlight is highlighting your already beautifully pale hair? It almost glows to me. It’s softly curling around your face. You’ve never looked prettier. And when you’re angry, your lips and cheeks take on a darker shade of pink. I can’t see anything else but your lips when you’re upset. It’s as if nature’s daring me to kiss you just then. ‘See if you can make her happy again.’ And I want to try now more than ever before. But I won’t.” I cupped her face. “Because you were right. You are different. I won’t forget again.”
“What are you talking about?” she said.
“I couldn’t Claim you because you had to Claim me.”
Her mouth dropped open.
“Past tense? ‘You had to Claim me.’ Why are you talking like I’ve already—” Her expression grew panicked. “No.”
She pulled away from me.
Winifred, she Claimed me.
What do you mean?
Instead of biting her, she needed to bite me. I can feel her emotions. Neither of us were expecting this.
That’s interesting. And congratulations.
“Winifred extends her congratulations.”
“I don’t want her congratulations or her cookies,” she said. Panic had eaten the anger.
And I didn’t understand why until she spoke again.
“Will you still keep your promise?” she asked.
“Which promise is that?”
“You won’t take more than I’m ready to give?”
I wanted to hug her to me to ease her fears but thought that might not help.
“I swear.”
She studied me, sighed heavily, then curled against my side. When her head laid on my shoulder, I knew we would be all right.
“What will your pack say?” she asked as I wrapped an arm around her.
“Should I tell them now and see?”
“No,” I said. “I think we can still use the reprie
ve of their absence.”
I kissed her temple again.
“No more talking. You need sleep.”
With her in my arms and the soothing presence of her emotions in my mind, I set aside my physical need and drifted off to sleep.
* * * *
She stayed in my arms all night; and when I woke, I automatically reached for our link. It was fragile and perfect and still there. I sent my feelings of complete devotion to her and watched her smile slightly in her sleep.
Mine. I couldn’t believe it was real.
I lay beside her and watched the light in the room slowly brighten as the sun rose. She stretched slightly then snuggled in closer. Contentment drifted over our link, and I grinned.
“Good morning,” I said softly.
She stiffened.
“No, it wasn’t a dream,” I said in answer to doubt and confusion I sensed. “You Claimed me. I will keep my promise not to take more than you give.”
“I don’t know what to think,” she said softly.
“Let’s start with what you want to do this morning and go from there.”
She moved, rolling onto her back to look at me.
“Did you know?”
“Know what?”
“What would happen if I bit you?”
“No. If I had, I would have found a way to get you to bite me much sooner.”
Humor and impatience drifted over our link, both too light and brief to change her scent. I liked our connection. I liked knowing how she was feeling right when she felt it.
“It’s time for you to leave,” she said. “I’ll meet you in the hall.”
I left her to dress and waited as she asked. We walked down to the main room together. No one had started anything for breakfast, yet someone was awake because there was a basket on the table. Charlene went to look in it and I followed. Leif and Ann’s daughter slept within.
“Where are Ann and Leif?” she asked.
The washroom door opened, and Leif stepped out. His hair was damp, and he held a towel.
“We are here,” he said, moving close to check his daughter.
“The basket is wonderful,” Charlene said. “Who made it?”
“I did.” He gently touched the babe’s cheek.
“Leif, that’s totally amazing. Could you show me how to make one?”
“I would be happy to. I’m not sure what you’d use it for, but you should know the cattail leaves will shrink as they dry, and the basket will grow holes. Typically, the leaves should be dried before they are used.”
A slow grin spread on Charlene’s face as a wave of anticipation and excitement hit me.
“I’ve never felt that much excitement before. What are you thinking?” I asked.
Leif sniffed, staring at us.
“Claimed?”
Charlene blushed and focused on the baby.
“Yes,” I said. “Last night.”
Embarrassment tugged at our link, and I stepped close to lay a comforting hand on her back.
“Ann thought she heard you two arguing,” Leif said with a laugh.
The main door flew open, and Mary rushed in. I could tell by her expression that she’d overheard.
“What? Claimed?” She threw her arms around Charlene and hugged her tight. “I’m so happy for you.”
The baby started to cry because of her volume. She pulled away and gave Leif an apologetic look.
“I’m so sorry, Leif.”
“I understand your enthusiasm. Ann feels it, too. She will be out in a moment to share her congratulations,” Leif said, lifting his daughter from the basket.
Mary continued to grin at Charlene, but the grin faded as she studied my Mate’s neck.
“Where’s the bite?”
The subject made Charlene very uncomfortable. She blushed further, and I could feel her urge to flee. I rubbed a soothing circle on Charlene’s lower back.
“She bit me, Mary,” I said.
Mary’s eyes rounded, and a snort escaped her. She bit her bottom lip to keep from laughing outright. Gregory walked into the room, looked at Mary, and came to stand behind her.
Now you’ll know what I go through each day, he sent me before looking at Charlene.
“Congratulations.”
“Thank you,” she said, quietly. “Mary, let’s make breakfast.”
She walked away, and I felt the immediate yearning she had to return to me. I sent a wave of reassurance and watched her and Mary start to make the oats.
So she had to bite you? How did you manage that? Gregory asked me silently.
She’ll bite when annoyed.
Yeah, Mary does too.
He grinned at me.
FOURTEEN
My frustration with the day nearly boiled over as I watched Charlene cook dinner. I struggled to keep it in check. The last thing I wanted was for Charlene to feel it through our link. How could the day have gone so wrong? Waking up in her arms had been wonderful. However, nothing since then had gone well.
After eating a quick breakfast while totally ignoring my existence, Charlene had done everything she could to avoid me. The only thing she didn’t do was hide in her room. She should have. It would have been easier than listening to the questions she asked Leif and Ann about their lives in the woods. Where had they lived? What had they eaten? How had they kept warm in the winter? What was the worst part of the whole experience?
I understood why she asked those questions. She wanted to know what we could do to make sanctuary a better shelter. But, what I felt pouring through our link was killing me.
Her extreme worry bordered on fear. I wanted to soothe her, reassure her, and put my hand over her mouth to silence the questions that resulted in upsetting answers. Instead, I worked on being patient. Throughout the day, I had tried distracting myself with my pack leader responsibilities.
Now, I watched her closely as I counted down the time until we’d be alone. I needed her in my arms to soothe my agitation. I needed dinner to be over.
Come eat, I sent out to the nearby pack members.
The door immediately opened, and they started coming in. Each male respectfully picked up a plate, held it out for a portion of food, then took a seat. Except Anton.
As Charlene scooped food onto his plate, his nostrils flared.
“Claimed?” he asked her.
“So I’ve been told,” she said, handing him back his plate.
He glanced at me then turned to face her again.
“Normally, I’d say congratulations. But I think you’ll need luck instead.”
I wanted to beat the pup. His helpfulness since returning was the only thing keeping me still. After Anton moved to take his seat, I started toward Charlene. None of the remaining males questioned her as I stood behind her, and the embarrassment she felt had disappeared when I’d set my hands lightly on her shoulders.
She handed me a large portion on a single plate and two forks. Sitting together, we shared the meal and listened to the quiet conversation around us. It should have been a content moment. But her worry still lingered.
When everyone was finished and the plates sat next to the sink, I went outside. Gregory joined me for a brief run. We circled the area around the buildings four times, then shifted and dressed again.
“It gets easier,” he said.
“It does?”
“Yeah. There seems to be a pattern to what females feel. One emotion tends to always follow another.”
“Like what?”
“Never let your female get too hungry. Anger always follows that. Like a badger kind of angry. It’s not pretty.”
I grinned. “I’ll keep that in mind, but I think that might just be something our females experience.”
He snorted as I walked inside through the front of the building. Instead of joining Charlene in the main room, I went to her room and watched the sun start its descent behind the trees.
It wasn’t until I felt her coming closer that her nervousness and worry began to
increase to fear again. Rubbing the back of my neck, I moved to light the lamp so I wouldn’t startle her then returned to the window.
The door opened behind me, and I felt her startled surprise.
“Excitement was the best thing I felt from you today,” I said without turning. “Your fear and constant worry...” I sighed and turned to look at her. “I will do everything in my power to turn this place into a safe home for you.”
I crossed the room and wrapped my arms around her like I’d wanted to do all day. She leaned into me, her cheek pressed against my chest. Slowly, her fear and worry faded to nothing and she wrapped her arms around my waist.
I loved her. She wasn’t ready for it, but she had it. Complete and enduring. Nothing would change the way she made me feel. But so much could change the way she felt about me. The uncertainty of where we stood made me desperately want to complete our bond.
A wisp of her fear touched my mind again as she dropped her arms. I didn’t give up my hold.
“Your fear is torture.” I smoothed my hand down her back. “Will you tell me, is it me? The thought of losing this place? I can’t fix what I don’t know,” I said, leaning back to study her.
“All of it and more. If you think my fear is torture, the things you feel when you look at me...I’m struggling with my own feelings. I can’t deal with yours, too. Everything is more confusing now than it was before. I don’t know what to do. What’s safe? Will you keep your word and leave me be? When the other’s return, will they agree with the Claim I unintentionally made?”
“I can’t help what I feel for you, and I won’t apologize for it. My hope is that someday you’ll feel the same for me. Until that happens, I’ll wait. I’d like to continue sleeping in your room beside you, but nothing more. Will you allow me that much?”
She hesitated for a long moment. I could feel her indecision before it cleared.
“Yes, you can sleep by me.”
I smiled, reached out to touch her cheek, then flooded her with comfort before I left her to change. She didn’t make much noise as I waited in the hall, but I heard the moment she crawled beneath the covers.
Another thread of nervousness touched my mind as she called out that I could come back. I didn’t know how else to reassure her that I would keep my word.
I opened the door and blew out the lamp before sitting on the bed beside her.
