“You should go back to work. I’ll be okay,” I told him, just wanting him to leave so he didn’t have to see me like this.
“I cancelled the rest of my day. Now, tell me what’s wrong so I can help you fix it.”
There was no fixing it.
Surgery only helped for a little while.
Birth control made me sick no matter which type I tried.
I just had to suffer through it once a month.
“You can’t just fix it. If that was the case, I’d have done that long ago,” I snapped, not meaning to, but the more I talked, the more pain I was in.
“Can you at least tell me what’s wrong?”
How would you tell a man this type of thing?
I’d never had to before.
Ultimately, I just went with spitting it out.
“I have endometriosis. Along with that comes painful periods. My case isn’t helped by birth control since I can’t take it.”
“Why can’t you take it?”
“Every time I tried it either made my periods come every two weeks or made me physically ill. And trust me, I tried it all. But nothing worked. I really shouldn’t be telling you this.”
“Why not?”
“Because we’ve barely known each other two weeks.”
“So. The time frame doesn’t matter. I’d have found out eventually, and now is just as good a time as any. Those are what those faint scars are from on your stomach isn’t it?”
“I’ve had three surgeries. They only helped for a few months each time.”
“You’re coming home with me. Cheyanne is returning from my parents today or I’d stay here with you.”
“But we were waiting until we felt she would be ready.”
“Doesn’t matter. You’re both important to me, and I want to help you. She’ll be fine. I promise. What can I grab for you?”
I was still in my yoga shorts and a tank top I’d worn to bed the night before. I knew I looked a hot mess, but he didn’t bat an eye.
“I’ll grab it.”
“No, you won’t. Just tell me what to grab and I’ll get it for you.”
He moved around my room like he lived here as he grabbed some leggings, an oversized sweatshirt, and my undergarments. He walked into the master bath and was in search of something when I finally managed to sit myself up on the bed.
“I packed you some clothes and got what I thought you’d need from the bathroom. Anything else?”
“Just my laptop, chargers, and heating pad,” I told him as I packed my work computer into its bag along with the charger for the computer and my phone. He helped me change into a pair of yoga pants and t-shirt, which was unnecessary, but he insisted. I pulled on my Chucks before we left my bedroom.
With my overnight bag, purse, and computer bag in hand, he placed his hand around my waist and we walked out of my apartment.
When we arrived at his place, Cheyanne came running around the corner screaming her joy for seeing her daddy. An older woman followed behind Cheyanne who I assumed was Gage’s mother. Lord, she was going to think the worst of me meeting me looking this way.
“Daddy, you’re home,” she said in her beautiful toddler voice.
“I am, sweet girl.”
“Who’s her?”
“This is Avery. Can you say hi?”
“Hi,” she said as she wrapped her arms around Gage’s leg and hid her face.
He picked her up and tickled her stomach before settling her on his hip.
“You sick?” she asked as Gage shut the door behind us and we walked inside.
“I’m not feeling good,” I told her. Kids did sense everything.
“Daddy, soup.”
She was too sweet. And extremely smart. She knew when people were sick they ate soup.
“Yes, Daddy’s gonna get Avery settled on the couch and then make her some soup. Would you like some?”
She quickly nodded and asked for cheese. I assumed she wanted a grilled cheese with her soup.
“Hi, Mom. Thanks for bringing her home to me. This is, Avery. Avery, this is my mother, Leann.”
“It’s a pleasure to meet you,” I said as I held out my hand.
“Nonsense. We hug in this family. It’s so nice to meet you, Avery,” she said before she pulled me into a hug. I held back a groan as she squeezed me tighter than I thought she would. Had Gage told her who I was?
“I’m gonna leave you two to it. Bye, sweetheart,” Leann said and Cheyanne came over to give her grandmother a hug goodbye.
“Bye, Gigi,” she said before she bounced off to the living room.
“Bye, Mom. Thanks again.”
“No problem. Love you, son,” she said before walking out the door.
Gage made sure I was comfortable on the couch before he placed my laptop bag on the side table and carried my bag off to his room.
“Can you sit beside Avery and be a good girl while Daddy makes you two soup for dinner?”
“I make her feel better, Daddy,” Cheyanne promised as Gage sat her down at the other end of the couch.
“I’ll only be in the kitchen. I’ll keep an eye on her. You just rest,” he whispered before placing a kiss on my forehead and covering me with one of the white fluffy blankets.
I kicked off my shoes after he left and rested my head on my arm as I watched Cheyanne look at me from the other end of the couch.
She looked over the top of the couch to see what Gage was doing before she crawled over my legs and laid her little body on the couch beside me. She kissed my cheek and said, ‘all better’ before she laid her head on my pillow.
Hesitantly, I laid my arm around her little body and shut my eyes.
“You ready to eat, beautiful?” Gage whispered as he moved my hair from in front of my face, placing the strands behind my ear.
Cheyanne still laid beside me, but instead of being wide awake, I could hear her soft snores coming from beside me.
I didn’t move for fear that I would wake her.
“She must really like you already. She doesn’t warm up to anybody that way. And you have no idea how long it’s been since she’s taken a nap during the day,” he quietly laughed.
“I don’t want to wake her up. I can wait to eat.”
In all honesty, I just didn’t want this feeling to end. Having this beautiful little girl laying beside me sound asleep felt right. Like it was meant to be.
“We can do that. I’ll put the soup on simmer that way it doesn’t burn and stays hot.”
He came back seconds later as I played with Cheyanne’s curls while she slept. He lifted my feet and sat down on the other end of the couch. He removed my feet from under the blanket and started to softly massage them.
“How are you feeling?”
“About the same.”
“Have you taken any medicine?”
“Nothing works really. Except the heating pad.”
“I can move her and grab it for you. I don’t want you to be in pain.”
I’d take the pain any day to have this in my life.
“Don’t move her. She’s comfortable. I’ll be fine.”
Pain radiated throughout my abdomen, but I hid it.
“How are you feeling?”
“You just asked me that.”
“About this. Meeting her,” he clarified.
“She’s more beautiful in person. I can tell how much she loves you.”
“That doesn’t really answer my question.”
I knew that, but I just wanted him to know what I saw.
“I’m okay with meeting her. She’s sweet, and I can tell she’s smart.”
“And that?” he asked as he removed his hand from massaging my foot and pointed at his daughter still sleeping against me.
I turned my face as much as I could to hide my emotions. He’d already seen enough from the pain I was in. He didn’t need to witness this part of me as well.
“I did some research while making the soup. I know how severe this conditi
on can be. How severe is yours?”
I just wanted to curl in a ball and hide. We’d had too many up close and personal discussions this past week. We were on a rapid get to know you course and so far, I hadn’t revealed much at all, while he told me everything I wanted to know. It’d be fair to tell him now than to continue this dating my husband game we were on and end up in a divorce later.
“Do you want more children?” I asked him as I stroked the back of Cheyanne’s head.
“Someday.”
“We should probably end this now then,” I said as I fought back tears. He had everything I wanted, but also the one thing I probably couldn’t give to him.
“Why’s that?” he asked as he turned toward me and stopped massaging my feet.
I looked over at him, and he had a serious expression on his face as he propped his head up with his hand and had his elbow resting against the back of the couch.
“Because I know my prognosis. And the reality of the situation is, I may never be able to give you that,” I admitted before letting the tears fall.
“You already love her, don’t you?”
I did. It was crazy. I’d been here a little over two hours, but the second she fell asleep against me I knew I was in trouble from fully falling in love with this man since I already loved her.
“We don’t have to start trying tomorrow, Avery. But someday we can look at all the options. If we can’t have one of our own, we can use a surrogate or even adopt. There are other options.”
I already knew that. I’d done countless hours of research even after the doctors told me everything. But I wanted to carry my own child. I wanted to feel that life growing inside of me. I wanted my child to know my heartbeat. And as crazy as it sounded, I wanted to go through the labor and delivery process.
“I know the options. But,” I couldn’t finish the sentence. In my head, I could say it all, but admitting it to him was hard.
“You want one of your own,” he said as he finished my thought.
All I could do was nod as the dam broke free. The conversation we were having on top of my hormones was a bad combination, and I would eventually break.
He gently pulled me up from where I was laying and made sure Cheyanne settled in the center of the couch before he placed me sideways in his lap.
I sat there and cried on a man’s shoulder whom I barely knew, but already had started developing strong feelings for, while I tried not to picture the life we should have together. A life where nothing stopped us from conceiving and giving Cheyanne a sibling. A life where we grew closer and fell in love and lived happily ever after.
“When you’re ready to try, we’ll go to the doctor together and discuss every option we have. There’s no rush. For now though, I’d love for you to just get to know us, me and Cheyanne, and for us to grow into the family I know we could be.”
“You have that much faith that we’ll work out? This is too much too fast. It’s making my head spin.”
“I have that much faith on the connection I know that we share. I have that much faith in knowing that I don’t want to lose you know matter if we can have a child of our own or not. We’ll get through it. That’s what couples do,” he said as he held me close and let me cry against him.
Who was this man? Were there really men like that in the world? Men who were this genuine and caring? Apparently so, and I’d hit the jackpot with finding Gage.
“Daddy, soup,” a sleepy Cheyanne said from beside us on the couch.
“Yes, sweet girl. Let’s go get us all some soup.”
“Cheese too?” she perked up as she jumped from the couch and ran into the kitchen.
“Yes. Cheese too. I just have to make it.”
Gage kissed the side of my head as he helped me off him and stood to follow Cheyanne.
I watched from beside the couch as she moved a chair over and stood beside her dad while he buttered the bread for the grilled cheese. Once the skillet was hot enough, he made sure she was steady and wouldn’t burn herself as he helped her make each one.
“All done,” Cheyanne shouted as she climbed down and pushed the chair back to its spot.
Gage brought over all our bowls and plates after he placed a couple ice cubes in Cheyanne’s bowl to make sure hers cooled off quickly. I remembered my mother doing the same thing for all of us growing up.
We all sat at the table and enjoyed our chicken noodle soup and grilled cheese. When Cheyanne saw me take my first bite, she asked me if the grilled cheese was good.
“It’s the best I’ve ever had,” I told her. The cheese was melted perfectly and each side was golden brown. Not a burnt edge in sight.
“Yay,” she cheered from her place at the table.
We all continued to eat as Cheyanne told Gage all about her week’s long stay with her grandparents. Gage had told me it was only supposed to be for one night, but she kept swindling to stay just one more night until he insisted she come home today.
I could tell how close the two were just by witnessing how much she beamed while talking with him and how much Gage ate up every word she spoke.
When we were all done, Cheyanne helped Gage clear the table and he handed her a rag. I watched as she came back and wiped off the table as best as her little three-year-old hands would allow her to.
“All done, Daddy,” Cheyanne yelled as she walked over to him to hand him the rag.
“Now it’s bath time,” he told her as the last dish was loaded into the dishwasher, and he placed the leftover soup in the fridge.
Cheyanne quickly ran down the hall and into the bathroom to wait for her dad.
“I’ll be back shortly. Make yourself at home.”
He was such a good dad.
Which made me fall for him even more.
My head spun as I walked over to the couch and got settled back into the spot I laid in before. The pain was getting worse, but I couldn’t think about getting back up and walking down the hall to find my heating pad.
A little while later, I heard the pitter patter of tiny feet on the floor as Cheyanne ran down the hall.
“Slow down, you’re still wet,” I heard Gage warn.
I sat up as best as I could just as she reached the front of the couch dressed in the cutest fish towel.
“You make a cute fish,” I told her.
“I’m not a fish. I’m a shark,” she corrected.
“Oh yeah?” I asked as I took in the towel once more.
“Yeah, I’m a baby shark,” she said as she started singing the song and doing the dance around the living room.
Gage came in just as she got to the daddy shark part, and he joined her in singing the song and dancing around the room.
It was the cutest sight I’d ever seen.
They continued singing and running around the room. They pretended to collapse on the floor as they finished, causing me to laugh out loud.
“She loves that song. We sing it every night after bath time,” he said as he regained his breath.
I could tell they’d done it a time or two. I’d only ever seen posts about it on social media. I’d never heard the song, though. It was catchy and one that could easily get stuck in your head.
“Let’s go get dressed, kiddo, then we can come watch Nemo,” he told her.
She brightened up, filled with energy, as she followed Gage to her room to get on her pajamas.
Moments later, she returned on Gage’s hip with her hair brushed and dressed in a Nemo nightgown.
“She’s going through a fish phase. She loves any movie or song containing fish. She’s trying to convince me to let her get one.”
“That’s sweet. You should totally do that. She’d love it,” I told him.
“Let’s sit on the other couch and let Avery rest,” he told Cheyanne.
“But I wanna sit wif her,” Cheyanne pouted.
“Only if she’s up to it. Remember she doesn’t feel good, so you can’t squirm.”
“Can I sit wif you?”
How could I say no to that sweet voice and even cuter face?
I reached out my arms, and Gage handed her over to me. She settled in my lap and put her thumb in her mouth as she laid her head on my shoulder.
“Do you need anything?”
“My heating pad would be nice,” I asked as I cuddled Cheyanne into me.
He returned quickly and plugged it into the outlet closest to the couch. He’d changed from his dress shirt and tie and into a pair of sweats and a t-shirt.
“You’re gonna have to move, sweetie, so Avery can put this on her tummy,” Gage told her as he turned on the heating pad.
“You tummy hurt?” she asked as she turned to look at me.
“It does,” I admitted to her as Gage rested it on my stomach and I laid down on my side, placing Cheyanne to rest on my hip.
Cheyanne shocked us both when she got up and moved the heating pad. Gage went to say something to her but I stopped him. She placed a sweet kiss on my stomach and looked back up at me.
“All better now,” she said as she put it back in its place and climbed up onto the couch. She settled herself to lay on top of my side.
I nodded to her and bit my lip to hold back the tears. She was too sweet. And just like that I was completely in love with his little girl.
Just as the movie ended, Cheyanne yawned against my side.
“Time for bed, kiddo,” Gage said as he picked her up.
She motioned for me to follow. As much as my stomach hurt, I got up from the couch and went to tuck her in with Gage.
We both gave her kisses on the forehead and told her sweet dreams before we left her bedroom. Her room fit her to a T. She had fish stickers on the walls and Nemo bedding covering her full-sized bed. There were railings to ensure she didn’t roll off on each side of the bed. There was also a little teepee in the corner of the room with string lights covering the top. The lights illuminated the room as Gage shut the door behind us.
“Want a glass of wine?” he asked as we walked into the living room. Even though it was only eight-thirty, I was exhausted. I just wanted to sleep.
When I told Gage as much, he went around the apartment shutting off lights and locking the front door. He set the alarm before he walked back to where I stood at the beginning of the hallway.
The Right Mistake Page 7
