by Mary Monroe
Just like Rhoda and Jade, Rhoda’s house was spectacular. Large green plants filled almost every corner in every room. Expensive black-leather furniture and smoked-glass tables dominated the living room. The television in Rhoda’s living room took up almost half of one wall by itself. Rhoda had recently replaced the white shag carpets that she’d had on every floor for over ten years. Now, with the carpets being maroon, she didn’t insist that her guests remove their shoes at the door. I was so disoriented and I stumbled so much that my flip-flops kept sliding off my feet anyway. I was barefoot by the time I made it to the kitchen.
Rhoda was already in her cute little kitchen, where the walls, and almost everything else, were either yellow or white. She had a large glass of white wine waiting for me when I got there. I gulped it down in one swallow. Not because I was that thirsty, but because I was at a point now where alcohol was the only thing that I could think of that would dull my senses. It would give me the buzz I needed that I hoped would ease my pain. I let out a great belch and handed the glass back to Rhoda.
“I’ll fix you a hot toddy after you get settled in the guestroom,” Rhoda said, lightly touching the side of my sweaty face. I dabbed at my lips with the tail of my dress.
“I really appreciate you letting me stay here tonight,” I sniffed.
Rhoda looked at Jade and they both gave me incredulous looks.
“Annette, you are family. If you can’t count on family, who can you count on?” Rhoda asked. “Have I ever let you down?”
I could not remember the last time I’d seen so much compassion on her face. I shook my head and glanced around the kitchen.
“I just wish we knew who that cow was who’s messing with you so we could straighten out this mess tonight, huh, Mama?” Jade asked with a furrowed brow. “Do you think she’s going to call you up again, Auntie? When you find out who she is, I hope you punch her in the nose and get it over with.”
I knew that Jade was way too young to know better, but she was more anxious to confront my adversary than I was! I looked at the freshly waxed kitchen floor and shook my head. “I don’t know.” I gave Rhoda a pleading look. “I sure hope she does not call me again. I don’t need some shit like this in my life. I don’t deserve this,” I said angrily. “And I won’t put up with it. If she calls me again and if I ever find out who she is, she’s going to be sorry,” I declared, shaking my fist. This was such a bold gesture for me to make, Jade and Rhoda looked like they didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.
“That’s right, Auntie. And I don’t care who she is, or how tough she is, I know a great big woman like you could beat the crap out of her,” Jade said, nodding. “Let’s hope she’s not real big and fat, too,” she added with a wide-eyed look.
Like a lot of people I knew, Jade often made being big sound as critical as cancer. But I had to learn to look beyond this type of ignorance. Ignorance was like a cow that a lot of people couldn’t stop milking. And some of the smartest people I knew, like Jade, were also some of the most ignorant.
“I didn’t say anything about beating anybody up,” I clarified, sucking in my stomach, which did me no good. There was nowhere for the thick roll around my middle to go. Jade looked at my stomach and shook her head, her mouth twisted like she was in pain. I refused to think about what she was thinking.
Just then Otis stuck his head in the doorway. He still had a full head of hair, but a lot of it was gray. His strong features had weakened over the years, giving him a jowly, fish-eyed look. I didn’t know if they made girdles for men, but he sure could have used one. His unbuttoned shirt revealed a belly that hung over the top of his pants like a bloated apron.
“Annette, Annette, you look…You look…You don’t look your best on this day,” Otis yelled, looking at my ashy bare feet. One of my shabby flip-flops was by the stove, the other was on its side on the floor in front of the refrigerator. “To be honest, you look like some kind of hell. Ow! Everything all right for you?” Otis padded across the floor with his long, flat feet covered in a pair of beige socks, and gave me a quick hug anyway, looking me up and down.
“She’s fine,” Rhoda insisted, pulling me toward the door.
Otis frowned for a brief moment, then gave me such a wide smile, I could see every tooth in his mouth. I could also smell the whiskey on his breath.
“How about something to drink or some food or some conversation? Come! Come and join me and Bully in de living room and see if we can put a smile on that face of yours,” Otis invited with a reckless grin and his hand held out in my direction.
“Maybe later. She needs to get some rest now. She’s had a rough day,” Rhoda said, guiding me out of the room.
Otis shook his head, slid his hands into his pants pockets, and shrugged. He was clearly disappointed and confused.
Before I could get out of the kitchen, Bully darted out of nowhere with a can of beer in each hand. Unlike Otis, he still had a firm, youthful body. Even with his plain blue shirt buttoned up to his neck, I could see a large, well-developed chest. He had rolled up his shirtsleeves, revealing thick arms with blue veins popping out, top and bottom. His smooth skin, rust colored on his body, his face and hands a shade darker, looked just as youthful as the rest of him. The only thing that gave away his age was the fact that he had several patches of gray hair, too. But he was still a very handsome man, and if Rhoda was still fooling around with him, I could see why.
“Ahhhhh, I think I met de lady before,” Bully leered, looking at me in a way that made me feel even more uncomfortable.
“You are not a dry, sparse lady and that’s a good thing!” Bully hollered. “Lots of you for a man to grab a hold to!” His eyes roamed over me like he was inspecting a side of beef.
Otis was the first person who had told me that large women like me were revered in Jamaica. And he had also told me that his friends and family had made fun of him when he’d chosen to marry a slim woman like Rhoda.
Jade giggled under her breath. Rhoda rolled her eyes and let out an exasperated groan. “Come on, Annette, before you get eaten alive. All the sharks aren’t in the ocean.”
I stumbled along between Rhoda and Jade, glancing back to see that Otis’s frisky friend was still giving me admiring looks. If for no other reason, I was glad for the additional distraction. I had something else to think about other than the nasty note, the blacksnake, and the disturbing telephone call.
“Rhoda, I hope this is not an imposition. I feel better now and it might be best if I go on back home. You have enough company in your house,” I said. If Rhoda still had feelings for Bully, the last thing I needed was for him to pay too much attention to me.
“Don’t even think about it. You are not goin’ anywhere tonight. You are stayin’ here with us tonight,” Rhoda insisted, giving my arm a mild pinch. “Like I said, we are family. I can’t speak for that man of mine, but I plan to be right with you throughout this mess. All the way, until it’s over.”
“And so do I,” Jade said through clenched teeth.
CHAPTER 11
I hadn’t brought any sleepwear with me to Rhoda’s house. Spending the night had not been my original plan. But Rhoda found an old nightshirt that had once belonged to her big, husky son. Even though the boy was gay, he looked like a football player. His huge nightshirt was still tight on me when I put it on. And by the time I slid into bed, bloated from the two beers and the glass of wine that Otis had insisted I drink, the nightshirt felt like a cocoon.
I don’t know what time I went to sleep that night in Rhoda’s house. But I ended up being sorry that I was able to get to sleep at all. Throughout the night I had so many bad dreams I couldn’t tell where one ended and another began. They included everything from me running up and down the streets with blacksnakes hanging off the top of my head like Medusa, to me receiving bombs in the mail hidden inside cute little pink boxes.
I woke up the next day with such a start I almost rolled off the queen-size bed in Rhoda’s guestroom. I was stretched out on
my back like a seal, with the silky sheets and fluffy white goose-down comforter wrapped around my legs like a single vine. It took me a while to realize where I was and why I was there.
I glanced at a clock on the nightstand and was surprised to see that it was almost noon. I had never slept this late on a Sunday. I went to church only about every two months, dragging Pee Wee with me. But I got Charlotte to go every week with my mother—whom I affectionately referred to as Muh’Dear—and Daddy. Anyway, even on the Sundays that I didn’t plan to go to church, I always woke up at the crack of dawn to get Charlotte ready. Even without an alarm clock. This was the first Sunday in years that I had slept so late, and I didn’t like it. I hated the fact that my tormentor had disrupted my normal routine. The fact that she hid her identity made her actions seem especially cruel. I felt totally helpless and defenseless. How could I prepare myself for something that I didn’t understand and with an enemy that I couldn’t see? It was beginning to feel like I was doing battle with a ghost.
I sat bolt upright in bed when I looked to the side of the room toward the door and saw Jade standing there, holding a breakfast tray that contained a plate and a cup of coffee. I will never forget the look on her face, because it was one that I had never seen before. She seemed to be looking at nothing in particular, like a statue. Her eyes reminded me of the eyes I’d seen on a dead woman once; the soul had departed.
“Jade? What?” I tried to untangle the bedding with my legs, but all I managed to do was tangle myself up even more. I rubbed my eyes and cleared my throat because for a moment I thought I was dreaming. The Jade standing across the room did not look or act like the Jade I knew.
She handed me the tray. When she smiled, her face looked like it was going to crack. “You need to eat, Auntie,” she told me, rubbing the side of my face. “You had a rough day yesterday.”
“Tell me about it,” I said, taking a sip of the black coffee. I usually took cream and sugar, but this was one morning that I needed my coffee to be as potent as possible. “Where’s your mom?” I asked, sniffing as I snapped off a piece of bacon. I blinked at the steam rising from the plate. There was enough food in front of me for three people. Even a glutton like me couldn’t consume eight strips of bacon slathered with redeye gravy, six slices of wheat toast, a dollop of grape jelly as big as my fist, a stack of pancakes, and a mountain of grits with a puddle of butter. As if all of that wasn’t enough to kill me, a saucer with about half a dozen thick link sausages that looked like a pile of logs sat on the edge of the tray. With an incredulous look on my face, my mouth hanging open, I looked from the feast in front of me to Jade, then back to the food.
“Is all this for me?” I asked dumbly.
“Uh-huh. I fixed it all myself,” Jade said with a nod. “I know how big people like you love to eat.”
“Oh. Well, I’m not really that hungry, but I appreciate you doing this for me, baby.” I cleared my throat and sat up straighter. “Jade, let me tell you a little something. And I don’t want you to take this the wrong way, because it’s not really a complaint. Uh, it’s more of an observation, but it’s something I’ve been meaning to bring up.”
“What?” Jade asked with a worried look.
I could see a pout forming on her face.
“Honey, you are almost grown. Some of the things you say now, you won’t be able to say and get away with in a few years.”
Jade gave me a surprised look, tilting her head to the side and looking at me out of the corner of her eye. “Huh?”
“It doesn’t really bother me what you say to me. But sooner or later, you are going to say the wrong thing to the wrong person, and you will regret it,” I said as gently as I could. But an angry look still appeared on Jade’s face.
“I don’t know what you are talking about, Auntie! I am one of the nicest people I know!” Jade yelled, waving her arms.
Her pouts were a powerful tool that she often used—and it always worked with me. I immediately regretted chastising her.
I nodded. “Yes, you are a nice person. But you say some crazy stuff sometimes.” I smiled.
Jade shook her head and waved her arms some more. “Look, Auntie, you need to get some more rest. You are the one talking crazy right now. I gave up a trip to the mall with Debbie Bronson and Kim Jones so I could stay here and be with you. Now you eat! After that, you can use some of my bubble bath. Then, we’ll get you back into your muumuu. Which, I washed myself last night after we put you to bed.” Jade gave me a wide grin and a quick peck on my cheek.
She wore a tight denim jumpsuit that emphasized her tiny waist, which was smaller than one of my thighs. It was times like these that made me feel like somebody from another planet.
“And another thing, you don’t have to worry about…you know,” Jade assured me. She sat on the side of the bed and touched my arm. I gave her a guarded look. “What I mean is, we are behind you one hundred percent. Me and Mama. The person who sent you that mean note and stuff, she fucks with you, she’s fucking with me and Mama.”
“Jade, you shouldn’t be using words like that,” I scolded.
“I know, and I don’t use them in front of Mama or Daddy. They know you spoil me and let me get away with all kinds of sh—stuff. If you hadn’t talked them into it, they never would have let me intern for you at the collection agency.”
“Well, I only agreed to that because it was just for the summer. You’ll be leaving for college soon, and I wanted to spend as much time with you as I could.” I smiled and raked my hand through Jade’s hair. I loved how soft and silky her hair felt. I gave Jade a pensive look and pulled my hand away, rubbing the balls of my fingers together.
“Uh.” Jade paused and patted her hair.
“Uh, what?” I asked, giving her a guarded look.
“I’ve changed my mind.” Jade rose and started pacing the floor, munching on a piece of the toast that she’d prepared for me. “Um, I plan to tell Mama and Daddy that you want me to keep interning for you for a few more months. Well, until next year, at least. A lot of kids are going to spend at least a year doing other stuff before they start college. Backpack through Europe, Asia, Africa. My best friend, Cheryl Combs, she’s going to hitchhike all over India. Isn’t that the coolest thing you ever heard? And you wouldn’t believe how many kids from my graduating class decided to do a few years in the military first and then come back to go to college.”
“Jade, this is between you and your parents. But if you want to know what I think, I think you should go on off to college now. You’ve been accepted, and your folks can more than afford to send you; don’t pass up this golden opportunity. I wish my mother had been able to send me to Spelman when I got out of school,” I said with a sad sigh.
“Well, that’s another thing. You and Mama didn’t go to college and look how well you two turned out,” Jade argued, standing over me like a sentinel.
“Things were different back then, honey. Your mother had it a lot better than me, but she didn’t want to go college. She was pregnant with your big brother, and all she wanted to do was get married. Me, I had to get a job and start working to help my mother pay bills. I didn’t have the choices you have.”
“You mean you won’t talk to Mama?” Jade whined.
“I didn’t say that. But I don’t have a good argument to work with.”
“Will you at least give it a try? Oh, Auntie, I don’t ask you for much. Please do this one thing for me. If you do, and Mama and Daddy say no anyway, I can live with that. And I promise you I won’t ask for anything else for…uh…for a real long time.” Jade gave me one of her puppy-dog looks before she bit her bottom lip. “You can say that it’ll be good experience for me to work at your office for a while longer. I will be making my own money, I will be getting some work experience. And it would sweeten the pot if you gave me a nice raise…”
“I’ll talk to your mother, but you know how stubborn your daddy is.” I sighed, rolling my eyes.
“Well, Daddy will go along
with whatever Mama says. If you can get to her, Daddy won’t have a choice but to go along with my plan.”
I let out a deep breath and handed the tray back to Jade with most of the food untouched. “I’ll talk to your mother.”
A huge smile appeared on Jade’s face. “Thank you, Auntie.” She turned to leave the room.
“Jade, can you bring me a phone? I’d better call Pee Wee and let him know where I am,” I called after her. “I didn’t think to leave him a note.” I felt my hair. It was so matted and knotty it felt like I had on a spiked helmet.
“He knows you’re here. I called him up early this morning myself, and I told him everything,” Jade told me, talking over her shoulder.
I gasped and swung my legs to the side of the bed. “Everything?”
Jade stopped and turned to face me again. “Yes, I…oh, not that. I didn’t tell him about that snake, or that note that somebody sent to you, or that nasty phone call you got. Mama said that you should be the one to do that,” Jade said with a distant look on her face.
I let out a sigh of relief.
Jade gave me a pitiful look and returned to the side of the bed. “Auntie, you should tell him as soon as you get home.”
I looked past Jade toward the window. August was such a beautiful time of the year in Ohio. A lot of people complained about the heat, but that was one of the things that I enjoyed most about the month. I never waited for Labor Day to arrive; I started having cookouts before the holiday. Like today. A barbecue in my backyard would be a great way to welcome Pee Wee and Charlotte back from Pennsylvania.
Telling them that somebody hated me was one thing that I would put off doing for as long as I could. But I couldn’t bring myself to tell Jade that. “Jade, you have to promise me that you won’t tell your uncle Pee Wee, Charlotte, your friends, or anybody else about…what happened.”
Jade tilted her head to the side and made a sweeping gesture with her hand. “I won’t. I just told you that Mama said you should be the one to tell Pee Wee,” she said with one eyebrow raised. “I don’t want to get in your business. You know me better than that, Auntie.”
