by Lexi Ryan
I can’t pretend to look at the stars anymore. I turn to look at his face and see he’s watching me. “You came here to tell me again that you don’t want me in your life?”
“I didn’t say that. It’s just not the metaphor I like. It’s too simple to describe what I feel for you.” Reaching over, he brushes my hair behind my ear. “You’re not the hot, burning fire, because you’re there even after a long, hard rain.” He swallows and takes a breath. “You’re not the sun, because you’re there in the darkest night.” He traces my lips with his thumb.
“Arrow . . .”
“You can’t be the wind—beneath my wings or otherwise”—he laughs and then his smile falls away as he traces his thumb down the column of my neck—“because you keep me warm during the deepest winter.” He closes his eyes, lifts his hand from my neck, and clenches his fist.
“Are you okay?”
He opens his eyes again and gives me a crooked smile. “I’m not done, but I really fucking want to kiss you right now.”
The butterflies in my stomach burst into raucous applause. “That would be okay with me.”
He strokes my cheek, and traces my lips again. “I need to finish first.”
I bite back a smile. “Then hurry, because now that I know how this conversation ends, I’m pretty anxious to get through it.”
His gaze lands on my lips for what feels like a thousand desperate beats of my heart before he meets my eyes again. “For a long time I thought you were gravity. Always there. Always pulling me your way. But that can’t be it either, because you don’t pull me down. You lift me up when there’s no reason I should be able to stand.”
My stomach twists in knots of hope and worry. Of love and insecurity. I’ve spent too much of my life not saying what needs to be said. When Mom left, I didn’t tell her how much that hurt me. When Dad reacted to Nic’s death as if he’d lost his only child, I didn’t take away his booze and tell him he still had a daughter who needed him. I can’t be like that anymore. “Arrow, you pushed me away when I wanted to stand by your side.”
He slides a hand into my hair and scoots closer. His mouth is a breath from mine; each word could almost be a kiss. “But that’s exactly it. You’re too important to be brought down by me. To me, you’re everything. And this morning when I told you I wanted you to be free of me, know that I meant exactly that. I’ve never wanted to be free of you, only the other way around.”
I shift and our lips brush. The contact is electric, and I want to do it again and again, but I make myself back up an inch. I’m going to try to say this without hiding behind analogies, a lover of metaphors stripping bare. “It’s always been you. And I know you think you need to free me because our past is complicated, but I’m here to tell you that if I’m free, if I can choose, I’ll be right by your side. Because I love you.”
He exhales slowly, then slides his hand behind my neck. “I love you, too. You are the most important pieces of my heart.”
When he finally kisses me, I melt into him.
Arrow
One week later . . .
The sun is shining and my friends lounge around the pool, lazy thanks to full bellies and warm sun, and Mia’s in my arms. Mason cooked us burgers on the grill, and Chris cleaned up after, insisting that Mia gets her share of domestic duties through the week.
I used to lie in bed trying to rewrite the past in a way that would mean Brogan would still be with us. But after everything that’s happened during the past week, I’ve begun to accept that I don’t get a redo. What I get is today. What I know is that in a world that has proved to be too cruel to bear during some moments, other times prove to be impossibly perfect.
It’s a good day to be stuck at home.
Chris wipes down the table a final time before sinking into the chair next to mine and Mia’s. “I heard they lifted your on-campus suspension. Does that mean you get to play next year?”
Mia tilts her face up to mine, and I press a kiss to her grinning lips before I answer. “I’m finishing my house-arrest sentence. My lawyer thought he could get it reduced, given the circumstances, but I broke the law, and I’m going to finish it. But BHU has said I can return to classes in the fall, and I’ll be able to do that within the terms of my house arrest. And when my sentence is over, I’ll be back on the field.”
On the other side of us, Mason pulls off his sunglasses and grins. “Hot damn.”
I shrug. “I’m not saying I’ll start. There’ll be some stiff competition this year.”
“You’ll start,” Mia says, rolling her eyes. “You’ll totally start.”
It’s so good to be here—with Mia and my best friends and waking up to days where football matters again. I tighten my arms around her and bury my nose in her hair.
“Would you two get a room already?” Keegan grumbles.
“Shut up,” Bailey says. “They’re fucking adorable. And at least someone’s getting some.” She tosses a pseudo-irritated glance in Mason’s direction.
Mason lifts his palms. “You know my terms.”
Keegan blanches and scrapes a hand over his face. “I don’t understand you, Mase. She’s hawt. Like H-A-W-T hawt.” He grins at Bailey. “If you need someone to keep your bed warm, I have no terms and no conditions.”
“And no chance,” Bailey says, and we all laugh.
Chris looks at his watch and groans. “I have to head, guys. I’ve gotta catch my plane.”
“Tell your mom we said happy wedding,” Mia says.
Mason smirks. “Gonna hook up with a bridesmaid?”
“At my mom’s wedding?” He gives an exaggerated shudder. “The bridesmaids are my aunt Cindy and my soon-to-be stepsister, so thanks, but I’ll pass.”
“The stepsister’s the one who’s coming back with you?” I ask Chris. “She’s staying with you and Mason for the summer, right?”
“I hope she’s hot,” Keegan says, and Bailey elbows him in the side.
“She’s a hot mess is all I know,” Chris says. He points at Keegan. “And the whole reason Mom asked me to have her stay with me is to keep her out of trouble—got it?”
“Y’all are no fun,” Keegan mutters.
“Have a safe trip, Chris.” Mia steps out of my arms to hug him. “We’ll see you next week.”
Everyone says their goodbyes, and after I throw a few pointed looks at Bailey, Mason, and Keegan, they get the hint and leave as well.
“Finally alone,” I whisper in Mia’s ear when they’re gone. “Want to go upstairs and get naked?”
She presses a finger to her lips and pretends to think about it. “Hmm. I was thinking about washing my hair tonight.”
I tickle her, and she jumps away from me and runs inside and toward the stairs.
“You’d better run,” I call after her. I chase her up and catch her at the top, collapsing on top of her where the light from the second-story foyer window casts a warm glow.
She rolls under me and grins. “I guess you caught me. I’m all yours.”
“Finally,” I whisper.
I lower my mouth to hers and slide a hand up her shirt. She moans under me, and I close my eyes and feel the heat of the sun on my back, the softness of Mia under me, and I take the moment and all that will follow for the gift they are.
THE END
Thank you for reading Spinning Out, the first book in The Blackhawk Boys series. If you’d like to receive an email when I release Christopher’s story in book two, Rushing In, please sign up for my newsletter.
If you enjoyed this book, please consider leaving a review. Thank you for reading. It’s an honor!
Spinning Out Playlist
“Say Something” by A Great Big World
“Something I Can Never Have” by Nine Inch Nails
“Rolling in the Deep” by Adele
“You Ruin Me” by The Veronicas
“When You Find Me” by Joshua Radin
“Stay” by Rihanna
“Fast Car” by Tracy Chapman
“What Now” by Rihanna
“By the Grace of God” by Katy Perry
“Grace” by Kate Havnevik
“Lay Me Down” by Sam Smith
“Dark Times” by The Weeknd, featuring Ed Sheeran
“See You Again” by Wiz Kahlifa, featuring Charlie Puth
“Lay It All on Me” by Rudimental, featuring Ed Sheeran
“Jealous” by Labrinth
Other Books by Lexi Ryan
The Blackhawk Boys
Spinning Out (Arrow’s story)
Rushing In (Chris’s story, coming summer 2016)
Going Under (Sebastian’s story, coming late 2016)
LOVE UNBOUND
If you enjoyed Spinning Out, you may also enjoy the books in Love Unbound, the linked series of books set in New Hope and about the characters readers have come to love.
Splintered Hearts (A Love Unbound Series)
Unbreak Me (Maggie’s story)
Stolen Wishes: A Wish I May prequel novella (Will and Cally’s prequel)
Wish I May (Will and Cally’s novel)
Or read them together in the omnibus edition, Splintered Hearts: The New Hope Trilogy
Here and Now (A Love Unbound Series)
Lost in Me (Hanna’s story begins)
Fall to You (Hanna’s story continues)
All for This (Hanna’s story concludes)
Or read them together in the omnibus edition, Here and Now: The Complete Series
Reckless and Real (A Love Unbound Series)
Something Wild (Liz and Sam’s story begins)
Something Reckless (Liz and Sam’s story continues)
Something Real (Liz and Sam’s story concludes)
Mended Hearts (A Love Unbound Series)
Playing with Fire (Nix’s story)
Holding Her Close (Janelle and Cade’s story)
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Other Titles by Lexi Ryan
Hot Contemporary Romance
Text Appeal
Accidental Sex Goddess
Decadence Creek Stories and Novellas
Just One Night
Just the Way You Are
About the Author
New York Times and USA Today bestselling romance novelist Lexi Ryan is a former college English professor turned full-time writer. Author of over a dozen novels, her books have been translated into German, French, and Italian and produced in audio. She lives in rural Indiana with her husband and two children. When not writing, she can be found reading copiously, hanging out with her family, and thanking her lucky stars.
@writerlexiryan
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