It was an act and in another time and place, Pearl could have made a fortune on the stage. She was the consummate actress. Even Miri hadn't been able to see through the carefully crafted facade at first. Now it amazed her that more people could not, which spoke to either how skilled Pearl truly was or how people simply saw what they wished to see.
Then, with a final shove of Miri towards the dark hallway, the real Pearl disappeared until not a trace of her was left. Then she turned, squared her shoulders and actively sought out Lord Buxton, likely ready to toy with him as a cat would a helpless mouse.
With Lord Buxton successfully waylaid by "vapid" Pearl, Miri was free to make her way slowly down the dim hallway. She had been in Pearl's home often enough that she knew this corridor would lead her back around to the ladies' retiring room area. From there, she could return to the ballroom and pretend as if she had just stepped out for a moment for a brief respite. Even her mother would not begrudge Miri a rest, especially when her leg had been bothering her for the last few days. Well before she had encountered Will.
As she made her way to the end of the corridor, Miri felt an overwhelming need to run, to leave Lord Weston's party and escape once more to the cold confines of her family's roof where peace and silence beckoned. The desire to flee wasn't unusual. In fact, she felt that way often. However tonight she had promised her mother she would remain and dance with Will. But only him. She would not dance with another, no matter how hard her mother pressed her.
"I would gladly dismember any man who attempted to dance with you against your wishes."
Slowly turning, Miri was greeted by Will's warm brown gaze. His eyes were dark and the lighter, whiskey-hued streaks in his eyes were no longer visible. He was a welcome sight, one she did not know she had been missing until that moment. "Did I truly say that out loud?" She was embarrassed. Or she should be, but Will didn't seem to mind. In fact, he acted as if he found her lapse in decorum humorous.
"You did." He reached out and took her hand in his and strangely, she wished that there were no gloves between them. "If you wish to depart, Miri, you may. I shall lie for you. After all, you are paying me to do just that."
For a moment, Miri felt as if she might cast up her accounts. For some reason, she did not wish to be reminded of her arrangement with Will. Her conscience nagged her enough as it was without constant reminders that she had essentially purchased another human being for nothing more than pleasure. Then the moment passed and she convinced herself that he was merely stating a fact and that he did not truly resent the fact that she was paying him coin in exchange for his attentions. Mostly because she did not want such a wretched thing to be true. Not tonight anyway.
What on Earth was wrong with her anyway? This was not like her. Yet ever since Will had entered her life, she found that in less than a day, she was no longer quite herself. It was both puzzling and disturbing at the same time.
"Will..." Miri faltered, her mind a complete muddle. Why had her beloved logic deserted her when she needed it the most?
"Hush, love. I was only teasing." With a strong, sure tug, Will pulled Miri into his arms. Surprising even herself, she went willingly. His body was hard and warm against hers and he offered a safety she had never known - or even realized that she desired. That was a dangerous and tempting thing for someone like her, even if it flew in the face of logic and all she held dear. "I know this situation is no easier for you than it is for me."
"I despise that I have to pay for attention and to experience passion." The notion that she had to pay for affection, even false affection, rankled her almost more than anything else. Why could what was so easy for every other young woman in England not be just as easy for her? It simply wasn't fair. Then again, life was not fair, something she knew well.
Tilting up her chin, Will smiled down at her and for a brief and absurd moment, Miri wanted to forget everything but him. He was handsome and charming and, even though she had only known him but a day, she somehow understood that he was kind and gentle as well. He would never harm her. More than that, he made her feel. Well, a little anyway. Still, it was a taste of what lay ahead, or so she hoped, and she craved more knowledge and more feeling, selfish creature that she was.
"If I was free to choose a woman to court, my beautiful and audacious Miri, I would still choose you. Despite all else between us, I want you to remember that." His voice was soft and if she was a woman of lesser convictions, she just might believe him. But this was all part of the game. She was paying him to make her feel and teach her what she could not learn on her own. Nothing more.
Will's words were a lie. Nothing more. Deep inside, Miri knew that. Still, his words warmed her in a way that no other sentiments ever had. Perhaps he was simply that good at the task before him or perhaps, in some small way, he meant what he said. Whatever the reason, Miri found that at present, she didn't care. She was finally feeling something, even if it was only a tiny glimmer of emotion and in such a short period of time. She would give Will her entire fortune if he could continue to make her feel this way again and again.
"I don't believe you," she whispered, "but I want to and for now, that is enough."
"Miri..." Will started to speak but she placed a finger against his lips.
"I forgot myself for a moment, and for that, I apologize. That I was able to forget and am apparently capable of feeling something more than just a basic emotion means that you are an excellent teacher indeed. For that, I thank you, Will. But there is nothing more between us and we both know that. I fear we were both swept up in the beauty and romance of the ball, however false it might be."
Will's face grew dark and his lips pressed into a firm line, but he did not say anything more. He was angry; she could tell. However it was necessary for her to keep reminding them both that this was a game, a teaching experience. It was not real, no matter that her heart beat wildly in her chest each time she saw him and she felt as if she was sprinkled with the imaginary magic fairy dust that Sarah claimed had colored her world during the scandalous week she had spent with Rayne the previous summer. Those flights of fancy were for other women. Not her. She would do well to remember that.
"You are correct, of course," he finally admitted. "It is merely the illusion of all of this and what we began this morning." He waved his hand in the air. "Nothing more. Though I am enjoying conversing with you, Miri. I do not lie about that. You are extremely intelligent and witty, and I won't apologize for saying as much."
His admission made her feel both warm and cold at the same time. Warm that he enjoyed spending time with her and yet, oddly enough, somehow cold inside when he agreed with her that this was all an act and they were simply being swept away by their surroundings. Wasn't that what she wanted? Yes. Yes, it was. So why did she feel so bereft when he said the words she had been thinking?
Then, all of it - the ball, Will, her mother, Sarah, The Letter, Anna, Lord Buxton, the agreement - became just a little too much.
Suddenly, Miri felt as if the walls were closing in on her just as they eventually did at any ball. Her vision grew spotty and she felt a blackness creeping in at the edge of her sight. Drat it! She had not suffered one of these debilitating attacks in years. Why now?
Will seemed to sense her discomfort and pulled her back to him tightly, steadying her against his solid body. "Miri? Are you well?"
She shook her head, borrowing deeply against his chest which went against every grain of good sense she possessed. "No. I am not. Please. Get me out of here. I wish to go home."
Without another word, Will leaned down and scooped her up into his arms. She had no idea where he was taking her, but as long as it was away from Lord Weston's ball, she did not care. Even though she knew very well that she should.
Chapter Seven
As his carriage rolled to a stop in the mews behind Raynecourt House, once more, Will wondered just how much of his soul he would have left when this absurd adventure into Miri's world ended. Or if it even mattered any
longer.
Standing with her in Lord Weston's hallway, Will had felt something real and true flare between them as he looked into her eyes. It was absurd, of course. They had known each other only a little more than a day. Yet he could not deny that he felt something either. After all, he did not simply randomly wish to dismember fellow members of the ton if they so much as laid a hand on a woman he barely knew. Still, that was precisely how he had felt tonight when Miri had unknowingly expressed her dislike of dancing with other men. It made no sense.
Nor did it make any sense for him to utter such foolish, sappy sentiments to a lady when that same lady was, in fact, paying him to do just that. This courtship was an act. He was supposed to merely play at courting her. He was not actually supposed to court her. And yet, it felt as if he was truly courting her, especially since he had not lied when he said that out of all of the Society women he had met that he would still choose her over them every single time.
He shouldn't have said that - true or not. He could also tell from the wary expression in Miri's eyes that she did not believe him and he could not blame her. For she felt nothing for him. She was not capable of feeling, something she had made very clear. On the other hand, something had flared in her eyes when he had taken her in his arms. Was it purely a physical reaction to being close to a man, likely for the first time in her life, or was there more to it? He could not say for certain, and once more, he wondered what he had gotten himself into by agreeing to her proposal, no matter how much he and Anna benefited financially. Then he remembered the icy touch of Lady Colchester and her offer to allow him to get another man's wife with child. No, he was confident in his decision. After all, if he was going to sell his soul - and body - to the highest bidder, he should at least attempt to keep something of himself, even if it was only his social respectability.
"Where are we?" Miri asked from her position snuggled down on the carriage seat beside him. She looked so peaceful that he hated to rouse her.
"Your home," Will replied gently. "I had my driver bring us around back to the mews so no one would see you."
Miri snorted. "I am certain my mother would have preferred otherwise."
"I am certain you are correct."
In fact, the dowager had all but shoved the two of them out the front door of Lord Weston's home when Will had emerged into the foyer with Miri in his arms. It had simply been his good fortune - or bad depending upon one's perspective - that the first two people he had encountered were Miri's mother and Miri's new sister in law, Sarah.
At first, he had gone cold, thinking that either of the two women might disparage him for taking advantage of Miri and demand that he wed her on the spot. Knowing how Miri would hate that, he had stammered out some absurd explanation about how he had encountered Miri leaving the ladies retiring room and that she had swooned, possibly from the heat, her lame leg, or a combination of the two.
Surprisingly, they had both believed him, saying that Miri's leg had been bothering her as of late. Rather than reviling him, instead they had both thanked him profusely, praising him for not allowing Miri to become the subject of even more vicious gossip. Which, of course, made Will wonder just how many cruel taunts she had endured over the years. They also all but pushed him out the door and into his carriage, insisting that, despite the proprieties, they trusted him to see Miri home safely without compromising her. In fact, they were more concerned about Lord Raynecourt discovering that his sister had taken ill once more than anything else, even if it meant entrusting a man they did not know very well with Miri's safety.
Miri inadvertently helped her cause when she had let out some sort of mewling noise from where she rested in his arms. Her mother had all but pleaded with Will to keep the secret of Miri's ill health just that - a secret. As if he would breathe a word. He did still have some honor left, after all.
With promises that they would follow along shortly, the two women had practically shoved Will and Miri out the townhome's back door, more concerned about appearances than about the fact that if they were seen together, Miri would be compromised and she would be forced to marry him.
Of course, as a gentleman Will had done what he could to make certain that Miri's reputation remained intact. He had escorted her home as quickly and as quietly as possible. Now that the task was completed, he could not linger here at Raynecourt House, much as he might wish to. After all, Miri did seem to be feeling better and it was a beautiful night. It seemed a pity to waste such a perfect evening. Especially when there was seducing to accomplish.
His desire to remain by her side had nothing to do with actual concern for her in any deeper manner. Oh no. It was the same sort of concern he would show a friend. A very good friend, perhaps, but a friend just the same. A friend he would also very much like to see naked. Sooner rather than later. It would not happen tonight, of course, drat it all.
Still, a man could dream...
Shaking himself out of his daydream, Will helped Miri sit up as she was still a little groggy. "We need to get you inside, love." He rapped on the coach roof and heard his driver and tiger moving about outside. "You need to rest."
He was not surprised when she shook her head and pushed away from him. Independent to a fault was his Miri. "No, I am well. Truly." She accepted a hand from Timothy, Will's young tiger, as he helped her to the ground. "On occasion, well-attended events in such close confines make me...feel unwell. I panic and on occasion lose sense of myself."
"That is what happened tonight?" Will wasn't quite certain he believed that explanation, but he let it pass, for he had the feeling she was telling him at least a partial truth.
Miri nodded and stiffened her spine as if preparing for battle. Maybe for her, it was not much different than that. "My vision goes dark and I begin to feel as if the walls are pressing in on me. It has not happened in quite some time. I thought these episodes were behind me." She smiled sheepishly. "As did my mother. When I was younger, the gossip rags delighted in reporting on 'poor, sickly Lady Miri of the lame leg' and all but glorying in any embarrassment I might suffer."
"That is why your mother rushed you out of the ball this evening, even though I was the only one available to escort you home." Suddenly, Will had a better understanding of just how Miri had suffered as a young debutante. He knew from his own experiences with Anna just how much words could wound a scared and vulnerable young woman.
"Precisely. Possibly being seen unescorted with you? While we are pretending to court?" Miri sighed. "That could very likely be hushed up, especially if my brother becomes involved. More so if we are glimpsed by only one or two people on the way here. But my swooning in the middle of an overcrowded ballroom? Well, that is a bit more difficult to ignore, I fear. Given my history, it would be difficult to claim a long-term illness of any sort, even now. Especially when these spells pass rather quickly. They always have."
She drew in a deep breath and Will could see that her color was better and she no longer appeared as ashen as she had earlier. Her eyes, while bright, were no longer glassy and her breathing was steady and even. She truly did look well and had he not witnessed her near swoon with his own eyes, he would be hard pressed to believe that she was ever ill.
"I should bid you a good evening then." Will tried not to think about how right it felt to have her small hand tucked into the crook of her arm as he escorted her to the servant's entrance of her home. "It is late and I am believe you need to rest."
"Or you could come in for a bit." Will was certain his eyes widened in shock for she laughed. "Only for a moment." She gestured to the roof. "So you might see my telescopes."
"Why?" He was truly baffled by her suggestion "I thought you did not like people, nor to allow them into your life. If you show me your telescopes, would that not be the same thing as showing me a part of yourself? Not that I won't see your body in time, anyway, for I will. But this is like seeing into your soul, Miri. Are you certain you are ready for that?" Much as he desired a glimpse into her life, he
did not want her to do something so rash out of nothing more than imagined gratitude.
She paused and he nearly tripped over his own two feet with the abruptness of her actions. "I owe you a great deal, Will."
"You are paying me," he reminded her so that neither of them would forget what lay between them.
"You saved me from utter humiliation this evening," she responded, her breath hitching. "That was not part of our arrangement. Also, given my past, that is something no amount of coin can ever repay."
Will was torn. He truly did wish to know more about this fascinating woman, but if he learned more, he was afraid that he would desire more of her. And he could not have her. Not ever. Yet the temptation was too great and he was only a mortal man. He was weak. So he took what she was offering.
"Thank you," he agreed, praying that he did not seem too overly eager. "I should like that very much."
Something akin to a pleased smile flittered across her face as if she had feared he would reject her and without another word, she snagged a key from a nearby fencepost and proceeded to let them both into the silent house.
Will was certain that somewhere within the house there were servants awaiting the family's return home, but here in the back of the house, he saw no evidence of another living soul. Nor did he hear one, not even as Miri led him through a maze of corridors and up several narrow stairways until they reached they roof. Then, she unlatched another door using a key she removed from a small notch in the wall and, with a small curtsey, she gestured for him to go through.
He took a tentative step out onto the darkened roof while behind him, she produced an oil lamp and followed him out. The sure and steady glow from the lamp illuminated a world he could never have imagined.
An Earl For Hire Page 10
