by Donna Alward
She was even more confused. “How was breaking up with me the right thing? Was I not good enough for you? I don’t understand.”
“Megan, I...” He started and then stopped, as if searching for different words. “Of course you were good enough for me. You were too good for me. You wanted to be a vet. You were a natural at it. We could all see it. Doc Chamberlin never stopped singing your praises. Can’t you see how hard it would have been on you, trying to finish your degree across the state, while keeping a relationship going? You needed to be able to focus. You needed to be free to do that without me weighing you down.”
Her mouth fell open as she listened to his words. She didn’t know what to feel. Angry and incredulous topped the list for sure. He was making it sound as if he had done her a favor! That it was for the best. And above all, he’d made the choice for her, assuming that she couldn’t have made the correct one for herself.
Stunned, she sat back in her chair.
“So now you see, right? I didn’t want you to be torn or have to make those choices.”
The spark of anger that had flared before sprang to life, fanned by his words. “Oh, I see,” she answered, trying very hard to keep her voice level. “You did it for my own good.”
“Yes!” He looked relieved at her assessment, which only made her angrier.
“Are you for real?” Her carefully measured words disintegrated on her tongue. “Do you actually think that was okay? It wasn’t your call to make, Pax! It wasn’t your place to make decisions on my behalf!” She stood up from the table. “We could have talked about it. But you made the decision and left me wondering what the hell I did wrong!”
On impulse she picked up her nearly empty glass and tossed the contents in his face. It wasn’t her best moment, but it was worth it to see the blank surprise on his smug, handsome face. Even if she was seeing it through humiliated tears.
“Did you even love me, Pax?”
She didn’t wait for the answer. He couldn’t have loved her as he’d said. No way he could have and been so callous and cruel.
She pushed her way past the table and made a beeline toward the entrance. But she only got halfway there when a pair of strong arms stopped her progress.
“Easy, there,” a deep voice said in her ear. “Running away isn’t going to solve a thing.”
She looked up and saw Jet Baron’s rugged face looking down at her, his eyes soft with concern. “Dance with me,” he said, his words somewhere between a request and a command. “Dance with me until you get your feet under you again. Don’t let him get to you, Megan.”
“Jet, I appreciate the offer, but I really just want to go back to my motel room.”
“Then he wins. Whatever happened between you, do you want the last of it to be the image of you running away in tears?”
Dammit. He was right. She lifted her chin and set her lips.
“Atta girl. Come dance with me. Then hang with us for a while and we’ll get you back to where you’re staying.”
She smiled ruefully. “I’m right across the street.” No doubt the Barons had fancier accommodations than the discount motel.
He took her hand and led her to the dance floor. Tim McGraw blasted through the speakers with “I Like It, I Love It” and Jet pulled her into his arms for an East Coast swing. She hadn’t danced it in years, but before long he had her smoothly navigating the rocking rhythm and she found her frown fading away and a grin forming on her lips.
“That’s better,” he called to her, smiling back.
She surveyed the room as Jet spun her around the floor. Pax was still sitting at the table they’d occupied, mopping the surface with extra paper napkins he’d found somewhere. She’d really done it. She’d lost her cool and thrown her drink—or what was left of it—in his face.
He got to her. It was probably time she faced the truth. Whether it was real emotion, pride or just unresolved business, she’d never gotten over Pax Lantry. She’d loved him too hard. And she was scared to death she still did.
Chapter Three
The song ended and changed to a waltz, but Jet didn’t release his hold. “One more? It sure beats dancing with my sisters.”
“You coming on to me, Jet?” She’d known the Barons off and on for years. Jet had a wicked reputation with the ladies, but she wasn’t interested in being one of his conquests. Even if he did have a sexy smile and was a smooth dancer.
“You want me to?”
She angled him a “What do you think?” look and he laughed.
“Another time, honey. Maybe it’s my ego talking, but I wouldn’t want to be with you while you’re thinking about him.”
His teasing brought out another smile. “You don’t have to look after me, you know.” She scanned the room as they started shuffling around the floor. “I’m sure there are any number of ladies willing to let you work your charms on them tonight.”
He shrugged. “Naw, not tonight.”
The dance was half over when they were interrupted by Pax, tapping Jet’s shoulder. “Mind if I cut in?”
Jet looked at Megan for permission. “Up to you.”
Megan scowled. “You sure you want to chance it, Paxton?”
Pax’s gaze met hers. “You don’t have a drink in your hand,” he said dryly. “I’ll risk it.”
Before releasing her, Jet leaned forward. “You need anything, give a signal.”
“Thank you, Jet.”
“Anytime, sugar.”
He moved away from her and Pax slid smoothly into his place.
Reluctantly she put her hand in his, her fingers dwarfed by his larger ones. They were warm and rough—working hands, and she rested her other palm against his muscled shoulder. He started with small steps, guiding her around the floor, mindful of the scattering of other couples doing the same thing. After several moments had passed, he leaned forward, his lips close to her ear.
“I’m sorry, Megs.”
Something inside her squeezed deliciously at the sound of his old nickname for her. His breath tickled the hair around her ear and made goose bumps pop out over her skin.
She swallowed tightly, unable to reply.
“I did what I thought was right at the time.” She snapped her head up to look at him, but before she could say anything he continued. “That’s not to say it was right in the long run. I didn’t want to hurt you. I guess that by leaving it the way I did, I could pretend I hadn’t, because I didn’t have to see the results. And you’re right. It was cowardly. I’m sorry about that.”
Why on earth was her lower lip wobbling? She firmed it up, prayed to keep the tremor out of her voice, too. “Just because you didn’t see it doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. I loved you, Pax. You never talked to me about it or explained anything. You were just...gone. I believed for years that there was something wrong with me. That I wasn’t worth it.”
She’d surprised him with that. She could tell by the way his eyes widened.
“Of course you’re worth it.”
She shook her head. Today had been a roller coaster for sure, filled with a lot of different emotions for her to sift through. Now, though, they were settling down and making more sense. So this time, when she looked at him, it was without the swift anger or bitter rancor. It just was what it was. Sad.
“I couldn’t know that. From where I sat, I was the easiest girl in the world to leave.”
She pulled out of his arms and left him there on the floor, walking, this time, to the exit with her head held high. Maybe she’d been disposable, easy to set aside, but he was right about one thing. She’d focused on school, she’d graduated top of her class and she’d seen and done things she probably never would have if they’d stayed together. And while she didn’t feel sorry for that, she couldn’t help but wonder if all she’d missed might not have been eq
ually as satisfying.
It was dark out, the inky blackness alleviated by the neon sign of the bar and streetlights that had sparked to life. The air was fresh and Megan took a big, cleansing breath as she left the music and noise behind.
She stopped for a moment and rolled her shoulders, shrugging out the tension. This was crazy. She needed to go back to her room, maybe take a hot bath, get a good night’s sleep. She had a big day tomorrow. Besides, her right hip was tender where she’d landed on it today. Forget Pax Lantry. She had finals to compete in tomorrow. That’s where her mind had to be.
The door behind her opened and closed, letting out a gust of music before shutting with a hollow thunk.
God, had he followed her out here?
She prepared herself to face him again and turned around, but nothing could have prepared her for the singular look of determination on his face as he strode toward her. “What the...” she got out, only a fraction of a second before he reached her, cupped the back of her head in his wide, strong hand and kissed her.
It didn’t occur to her to push back, to rebel against the contact. From the moment his lips touched hers, her traitorous body responded, just as it always had.
He pulled away only for a moment. “For your information,” he ground out, “you were not the easiest girl in the world to leave.”
She might have answered except he was kissing her again, and any response floated away on the mild Texas breeze as she stood up on tiptoe and melted against him. Oh, how she’d missed this. Her memories had been accurate and yet hadn’t done him justice. Kissing Pax was like sliding down rainbows and cascading fireworks and purring kittens and all the other trite clichés she could think of. Times a zillion.
It had always been this way, ever since the first time he’d kissed her inside his daddy’s horse barn after a call. She’d been dressed in ugly coveralls with her hair in a ponytail, baby hair around her face frizzled from heat and exertion. When he’d kissed her, she forgot everyone and everything except him and that had been it. They’d been inseparable the rest of the summer.
His hand slid over her shoulder and down along her ribs, sending shivers over her spine. “Pax, stop,” she whispered.
“It was always like this, do you remember?”
His lips slid down her neck, distracting her from her rational thoughts. Her breath escaped in a rush.
Then the door to the bar opened and shut with a bang and she leaped back.
What on earth was she thinking?
“What in the world are you trying to prove?” she blurted out, swiping her fingers over her tingling lips. For the briefest of seconds she felt like slapping him, but she couldn’t, not without being a complete hypocrite. Maybe she hadn’t initiated the kiss, but she’d been a willing participant.
His eyes seared into her. “You somehow think it was easy to let you go. Look how it is between us after all this time. How the hell can you think it was easy?”
“Why should I think anything else? It’s not like you went to any trouble to disabuse me of that notion!”
His eyes telegraphed his intent and he started to move toward her. Megan took another step back and held up her hands. “Nothing has changed for you, has it? You know, you might have more success if you used your words.”
“God, you’ve got a saucy tongue!”
She scoffed. “This isn’t saucy. You haven’t seen saucy.”
And then the words settled around them and the sexual tension ratcheted up again.
Several moments passed before Pax said anything. And then, to her great surprise, he decided to use his words after all.
“I was stuck.”
She snorted, even as something uncertain did a flip in her stomach. “Stuck?”
“I thought letting you go was for the best. I knew that if I saw you, talked to you, if I had any part of you at all, I wouldn’t be able to let you go. You would have convinced me to keep trying, and in the end you would have wound up hating me.”
Hating him? It made no sense. She’d cried for days after he’d broken up with her, checking her email waiting for a simple response, leaving voice messages. Cried until she was cried out and then salvaged her pride and pulled herself up by her bootstraps and got on with living.
“Newsflash, Paxton. I ended up hating you anyway.”
She turned around and walked away, something she seemed to be getting very adept at doing today. And he followed, completing the pattern.
“Please, Pax. I just want to go back to my room and get some sleep. You’ve got to let this go. It doesn’t matter anymore.” As if she could sleep now. She could still taste him on her lips.
“Then I’ll walk you to your door before I go to mine,” he responded, falling into step beside her.
Of course. Luck was a funny kind of lady after all. “You’re staying at the motel.”
“It fit the budget.”
After checking for cars, they crossed the street to the motel parking lot. A single streetlight burned next to the office, which was dark with a small “No Vacancy” sign in the front window. Megan put her hands in her jeans pocket and fished out her key. A real key, not one of those key card things. It seemed everything tonight was stuck in the past.
“This is me,” she said quietly, stopping in front of a door. Her truck was out front, her pride and joy. She’d bought it after graduation from vet school and after she’d landed her job. She didn’t mind living in a tiny one-bedroom apartment on her salary. But she was damn well going to have a good truck and trailer for her and Samson.
“Nice ride,” he remarked.
“I do a lot of farm callouts. It made sense to buy it.”
Her old half ton had done the job just as well. But it felt good, somehow, knowing she’d accomplished something...despite him.
“Well...I guess this is goodnight.”
He sounded reluctant to go and, surprisingly, she wasn’t ready for him to leave, either. The whole day had been a mishmash of emotion. Most of all, she was shocked to discover that she’d actually held the power to change his mind. Maybe if she’d gone to see him instead of phoning...
“Good night, Pax.”
He was standing too close. She saw him swallow, saw his Adam’s apple bob in his throat. It was tempting. So tempting...and it shouldn’t be. Not in the least.
She closed her eyes and forced her mind back to the terrible time when she’d longed for him so badly and wondered what she’d done to drive him away.
She presented her back to him, put her key in the door, opened it, went through and shut it firmly. Then turned the lock and hooked the chain.
His boots clumped on the decking outside her door, growing fainter as he walked away to his own room. Megan rested her back against her door and let out a breath.
When she was feeling more sure of herself, she went to the bathroom and started running a bath, then dug boxers and a T-shirt out of her bag for pajamas. The water was half-run when there was a knock on her door.
Her hands began to shake when she looked through the peephole and saw Pax standing there.
“Pax, just go away. Please. Don’t make this harder than it already is.”
To her surprise he leaned his forehead on her door. “I wish I could. I left my room key in my room. And no one is answering the door at the office.”
“You expect me to believe that?”
“My truck keys, everything...is in my room. If you won’t let me in, can I sleep in your truck?”
“Hang on.”
The water was still running and she ran to the bathroom to shut it off before it overflowed the tub. When she went back to the door he was still there, running a hand through his sandy hair.
She sighed heavily and, against her better judgment, opened the door.
Chapter Four
She opened the door but stood in the doorway, preventing him from entering. “You don’t have to make up stories to knock on my door again. At least be honest about why you’re here.”
He frowned a little, then turned his pants pockets inside out. “I swear. I left without my key earlier, and the doors lock automatically.”
“You can’t stay here.”
He sighed. “Which is why I asked if I could sleep in your truck.”
She opened the door all the way and walked over to the small desk, picked up the phone and dialed the office. It rang several times with no answer. “Aren’t they required to be available? Come on, pick up.”
“The sign on the window says the office closes at ten.”
Megan was becoming increasingly aware that you get what you pay for. The cut-rate motel had decently clean rooms but offered cut-rate service, it would seem. She thought of Samson back in the barn and wished for a cot outside his stall. Lord knew she’d done that a time or two over the years.
She put down the phone.
“Seriously, I’ll just recline the seat in your truck. I need some shut-eye, that’s all.”
Megan closed her eyes. “You’re not sleeping in my truck,” she said with a sigh. “I’m not afraid of you, Pax.” She lifted one eyebrow as she examined him. “You can sleep in the chair. There’s even a footstool so you can put your feet up.”
She thought her suggestion would be met with opposition, so she was surprised when he merely looked grateful and nodded. “Sounds fine to me.”
There were a few awkward moments where Megan tried to decide what to do next. She remembered her bath water, already run, and the idea of not being in the same room as he was sounded great. “I just ran a bath. Watch TV or something for a while.”
Before he could say anything, she disappeared into the bathroom and shut the door.
* * *
Pax heard water running and he let out the breath he’d been holding.
