“I didn’t mean that you should drive here. I’ll come there. I miss you, Leigh. I really need to see you.”
Leigh smiled, her lips curving softly and sensually as she heard the need in his voice. Her own body responded to it. She held on to that response. It gave her something she could be certain of, when she was suddenly finding a side of herself that she hadn’t really known could take over like it was doing.
“I guess there’s no reason why I can’t be free for dinner. I’ve got to eat, don’t I?”
“Yes, you do, and then I do.”
Leigh heard the double entendre and hummed her approval.
“Yes, maybe you could. There’s a pretty nice hotel in town.”
“I know. I booked a room there. And have sent my menu. And offered a chef’s service if they can’t make it happen.”
Leigh chuckled wryly.
“I’m sure they’re scrambling to make it all happen. You really take control, don’t you?”
“I can’t help it. I need to.”
Leigh smiled.
“I know you do. I don’t mind. I wouldn’t mind not being in charge for a little while. It would be a nice change.”
Harrison chuckled.
“That, too, can be arranged, Leigh. Now I will let you get back to work. Would you like me to pick you up, or would you rather meet me there?”
Leigh was touched that he asked that. He had remembered how uncomfortable she had been the last time he had swooped into campus and played the prince.
“I’ll meet you there. I don’t want the campus buzzing about you again.”
She was braced for him to be a little hurt, and justifiably so, but he didn’t sound like she’d thrown him off his stride at all.
“All right, I understand. I’ll see you at around 6.30 then.”
This was all very strange for Harrison.
“Sounds good,” said Leigh, and was shocked when he hung up without her having to tell him she needed to get back to work. Frowning, she stared at her phone for a while before setting it aside, slowly and precisely, and turning back to her book.
But she had to work really hard to make herself focus on it this time. Something odd was going on, and she had no idea what it was.
Leigh felt unaccountably nervous as she walked into the small lobby of the boutique hotel that was the priciest and classiest that the university town had to offer.
She saw Harrison immediately, of course. He was so handsome, and obviously quite oblivious to the sly looks cast his way by everybody who passed him. He was engrossed with whatever he was working on, his tablet in his hands, and for the first time, Leigh’s guilt felt very real.
She had been making so much of a fuss about going back to school, and Harrison had been finding time for her on her schedule despite having a veritable empire to run. She knew him well enough to know that he did most of the demanding work himself. He had problems delegating.
And yet, he hadn’t complained. Only she had.
She would make it up to him, she promised herself, and smoothed down the peach sheath she was wearing, with the scarf that was the colors of a beautiful sunset twined around her waist.
It felt like it had been a while since she’d worn something elegant and formal. But it helped her feel like the Leigh Harrison loved when she dressed up. He always looked so impeccably tailored and turned out.
She took a moment and felt herself grow calmer, the nerves settling.
He was there. He would always be there for her. Even when she didn’t quite deserve it, he would be there.
She walked to him, and he looked up as she approached. She hadn’t made a sound or called his name. He just seemed to sense her closeness.
“Leigh,” said Harrison, drawing to his feet, “you look lovely. I missed you.”
Leigh sighed and walked to him. Without a word, she closed the distance between them and stepped into his arms to hold him tight. Maybe the center she had found wasn’t quite right. Maybe she needed more of this.
“I missed you, too. I’m glad you came.”
His arms tightened around her, and he pressed a kiss to the top of her head.
“I’m glad, too. I thought we might dine privately. I’ve got it all set up in the suite.”
Leigh smiled.
That did sound good.
“Lead on,” she said, with a smile, and she was comforted when she slipped a hand into his and he held on tight.
“Wow, you really did pull out all the stops,” said Leigh when he opened the door to the suite.
It looked like a garden from a fairytale. There were potted plants and flowers everywhere, and about a million tiny lights that illuminated perfectly without harshness. Candles without the fire hazard, she realized.
The door to the little terrace was open, and the table had been set up there. She saw the bucket that meant there was champagne on ice.
Harrison made a very quick call as she looked around, and he took her hand and led her out to the terrace.
“Mind if we eat here?”
“It looks perfect. I’d say you shouldn’t have, but… It’s perfect.”
Harrison smiled again, and drew her chair out for her.
Their appetizers had already been served, and Leigh sighed in happiness as she bit into the perfectly cooked stuffed mushroom.
“I’m kind of hungry. I missed lunch,” she confessed, as Harrison poured them both champagne.
“Go ahead. Here, have some of this,” said Harrison, offering her a little toast point with pate, and Leigh bit into it, savoring the richness.
This was her other life – a far cry from life on campus, as a student. She would find a way to make it all work.
But as dinner went on, Leigh began to realize one thing.
She might not be able to do it.
She loved Harrison. She loved being with him. But he could never be a part of her life as a student, because he would never fit in there. She would have to keep this part of her life separate from that one, and the stress of that, of sliding into one role and then another as if she were changing outfits, would get to her, eventually.
Leigh tried not to think about it, but the very decadence of the meal, the champagne, the casual renting of a suite and changing the way the entire hotel worked to make the evening work as he wanted it to – it was so different from her life now, where she didn’t make any of the rules.
The concept of living by somebody else’s rules would be anathema to somebody like Harrison.
When she saw dessert – delicate little globules that burst with flavor, and a creamy mousse to go with it – something clicked.
“You brought your own chef.”
Harrison grinned, and Leigh knew that he didn’t understand why the idea seemed so utterly jarring to her.
“I did. I didn’t want to leave anything to chance tonight. Tonight is special.”
But Leigh was beginning to feel as if something was wrong – something was horribly, terribly wrong. The way she felt, it wasn’t right.
“Harrison…”
“Don’t you like it?”
Leigh swallowed.
“Of course I do. It’s all perfect.”
And it was absolutely churlish of her to complain, when he had gone out of his way to make no waves even as he fit everything around him to suit. He had found a way to make everything exactly the way he liked it, without causing her any discomfort.
She should’ve appreciated that.
Except, that wasn’t what she wanted. She wanted him to make an effort to fit in, instead of changing everything around to suit him.
Leigh glanced up when she noticed him move, and felt him reaching for her hand. She knew her hands were cold as she gave it to him.
“I guess it’s a little chilly out here now. Come, let’s have dessert inside.”
Leigh followed him as he went in, carrying their plates, and set them down on the little table there. He sat down, and held his arms out to her.
Searc
hing for that certainty she had felt a little while earlier, she walked to him, and he pulled her onto his lap.
“Leigh, I love you. You know how much I love you.”
Leigh smiled and nodded, and when he kissed her, she accepted the kiss, and tried to return the passion she felt for him. That she had taken for granted.
That was easy, she realized, as her body seemed to awaken to his touch.
The passion was easy.
She wanted to lose herself in him. She wanted him to make love to her until she stopped thinking.
But he pulled away, and looked at her steadily.
“Leigh, I know things have been difficult. I want to ask you something.”
She went still. Maybe he had had the same thought that she was beginning to have – that they needed a break. But that hurt, too, so much.
“All right,” she said, waiting.
“I think we both need to have something to hold on to. Something to remind us that we have each other, that no matter how difficult things get, the troubles will be temporary, because we will have each other, no matter what.”
Leigh felt off balance.
That hadn’t been what she was thinking, not at all.
But she smiled and nodded, relieved that he hadn’t asked for a break.
“Leigh, I was keeping this for a more apt time, when we both had the time to plan. But I think we both need this now. So…”
He shifted a little to reach into his pocket and pulled the box out. Leigh’s heart seemed to slow down, until it almost stopped, and then started again, faster and faster until she felt like she might hyperventilate.
“Harrison…”
“Let’s get engaged. We don’t have to get married until you graduate. But let’s have something more to celebrate when you do. Call it a promise – a reminder of what really matters. A promise that we belong to each other.”
Leigh knew the ring before he opened the box. She had seen it before, once.
And she knew that she couldn’t take it. The realization was like a bucket of icy water dumped over her, freezing her heart, and she wished it had stopped. It was like a shard of ice piercing her heart.
“Harrison… Harrison, I can’t.”
He looked shocked.
“Why not?”
Leigh got up and backed away from him, shaking her head.
“I can’t. You don’t understand. I can’t make you understand. I can’t get engaged now. Harrison… I think we need to take a break. I think we need a break from each other. That’s what we need, not to get engaged. I… I can’t!”
On a strangled sob, she turned, and like the coward she felt like, she fled, away from him, away from his demands, and the promise that he had offered.
Like a fool, Leigh ran from everything she had wanted, and she didn’t even know why.
Chapter 5
“Leigh, you’ve got a guest!”
Leigh managed to drag her head up and out from under the covers.
“I don’t want to see anybody. I’m not expecting anybody. Tell them to go away.”
Hana wasn’t about to give up. But then, Hana never gave up.
Determined to get Leigh up and out of bed, Hana stripped the covers off Leigh, making Leigh shriek a little and tug her T-shirt down. It was cold and bright in the room, since Hana had been devious enough to open the window and draw open the curtain before the subsequent treacherous act of pulling off Leigh’s covers.
“It’s not Harrison. It’s a friend. Or so she says – says her name is Emily, and unless you turn up, she’s going to come in.”
Leigh sat up in bed as if she’d been shot.
“What? Em? She’s here? She’s supposed to be in Beijing!”
Hana rolled her eyes.
“I gave you the chance to get up and get yourself presentable. She’s here.”
And right on cue, Emily walked in, wearing her usual baggy clothes, the oversized specs, her hair still wildly curled and shoved into a messy bun that seemed to stay in place because Emily had terrified it into staying still.
“Emily, I thought you were solving mysteries of the South China Sea. Or whatever part of it was in the Beijing labs.”
Emily shrugged.
“I was trying to save those poor dolphins and orcas in those damn tanks. Managed to get one of those stupid water parks closed down, and now that means I’m fired and back here.”
Leigh chuckled.
That was very much like Emily.
“I wondered why you’d joined a firm. You were so anti-corporate before that. We didn’t have much time to talk before you left.”
“We didn’t, and right now, I have to tell you, as your honest friend, that you look like hell. Up, Leigh. And dressed. Now.”
Leigh rolled her eyes, but she felt better.
Something about Emily always made her feel better.
“All right. You’re still as bossy as ever.”
“Don’t fix what’s not broken, right? Now, let’s see… Wow, your wardrobe has changed!”
“Go ahead, make yourself at home,” remarked Leigh wryly, but Emily had already done it, yanking open her cupboard and rifling through the clothes.
“Jeans and this sweatshirt. When did you last take a shower? I know I get pretty damn fruity when I’m off on my research projects, but you have no excuse.”
“I’m a student. That’s an excuse,” grumbled Leigh.
“You’ve sure learned to whine like a student again. Chop chop, Leigh, and then you can tell me why you didn’t reply to my emails.”
“You emailed me?” asked Leigh, as she grabbed her towel and headed off to the shower, as indicated by the imperious Emily.
“Multiple times over the last three days – that’s seventy-two hours, more accurately, our days and nights were different. You always check all your devices, so I knew I had to come and see just what the hell was going on,” confirmed Emily.
Leigh wasn’t sure she had the right words to explain at that moment, so she took the excuse of ducking into the shower and letting the cold water – it was freezing, and the heating was very unreliable – wake her up completely.
She had been letting everything slide, and she thought she could be excused for doing so. After all, she had broken up with Harrison.
She’d never forget the look on his face when she’d hurt him like that.
To be honest, Leigh couldn’t quite believe that she’d done it. She had assumed that they would be together. She’d thought of it as just one of those things – like the sun rising, like the moon waxing and waning. She hadn’t really questioned that, not even when they’d been having trouble.
The fact that they loved each other and wanted to be with each other had always been just that – a fact.
And now it wasn’t.
Was it?
She couldn’t claim to love him after having hurt him like that. But she was hurting, too, which was why she hadn’t been showering or changing or eating. She’d been making it to class, and she’d been keeping up with her work – barely, and with a great deal of help from Hana, who hadn’t pried when Leigh had volunteered no information – but other than that, she hadn’t been doing anything.
That included spending time with Roger. Leigh hadn’t been doing that, either.
She hadn’t been working on the paper she had begged for the chance to redo, too.
She felt unfaithful just thinking of Roger.
Had she broken up with Harrison because of her attraction to Roger?
Leigh couldn’t bear to answer that question. She wasn’t sure if she could answer it with honesty, even to herself.
By the time she got out of the shower, shivering and wrapped in a towel, Emily had tea ready for her.
“Here,” said Emily, her voice soft and her eyes compassionate, and Leigh wanted to hold on to her and cry until she stopped feeling so mixed up inside.
But she didn’t. She just took the tea from Emily and sipped. Soon, Leigh was dressed and out of time.
The idea of lying to Emily, even by omission, didn’t occur to her.
“No rice and pot stickers this time, right?”
Leigh grinned.
“Our kitchen doesn’t really extend to that. But we do have a nice pub that does some simple but excellent food. Come on, it’s almost empty now.”
Emily grinned.
“It should be, it’s barely twelve. But what the hell, we can do pub stuff.”
In a few minutes, they were seated in a booth and had pints of beer in front of them. Leigh figured she could deal with it, for once, and anyway, Emily’s body clock was probably in a time zone where it was perfectly acceptable to drink at that moment.
“Now tell me what’s going on,” said Emily, that direct gaze on Leigh.
Leigh took a deep breath.
“I told Harrison we needed to take a break.”
Emily pursed her lips and was quiet for a moment. It seemed to stretch out till it felt like a tangible thing, a gaping chasm between them.
“Why?”
Leigh sighed and took another sip of the ale that suddenly tasted too bitter.
“It was getting to be too much. I… It’s different, when you’re a student. Life is different.”
Emily nodded.
“You’re not really in control of your life anymore.”
“Exactly. That’s exactly it. You know how Harrison is with control.”
Emily smiled.
“Oh yes, I know. I know how he is with uncertainty, too. He went overboard trying to make it all the same again, didn’t he? As if the changes in your life wouldn’t change your relationship, too.”
Leigh nearly wept with relief at finding herself understood so easily. She should’ve known that Emily would understand. Emily always understood.
“He proposed to me.”
Emily went still, before sagging and shaking her head in what looked like frustrated disbelief.
“You know, I have no idea why I’m surprised. Or shocked. Or any such thing. It sounds exactly like the kind of thing Harrison would do. It’s also the kind of thing he would do with the most excellent of reasons in his head.”
Leigh’s lips quirked in a half-smile.
“Something about giving us both something steady to hold on to while everything else changed. Suggested something like how after I graduate, everything will go back to normal and my life will settle into the pattern he wants. As if law school is just a little blip on our relationship route.”
Being Harrison Bloom's Girl (That Forbidden Love Book 2) Page 5
