Or was I?
Damn it.
His unease had bothered me, too. That could have been the simple paranoia of anyone who’d had the misfortune to be raised by the alien leader, but I wasn’t sure. Gideon had almost acted if he expected something terrible to go wrong, even though we should have been perfectly safe here.
Well, I could always do a little reconnaissance to be sure. No, I wasn’t going to put on my robe and slippers and go wandering around in the middle of the night…but I thought my astral self always could. That seemed safe enough.
I began the breathing exercises, putting away the stress and tumult of the day so I could focus only on the necessary separation of my consciousness from my body, could find the stillness to send my spirit out and away from this room.
Yes, there was that strange little pop, and then I was drifting upward, staring down at myself as I lay there in bed. I did look very peaceful, eyes shut and curly hair spread over the pillow in its usual mess.
And then I thought of Gideon, lying asleep — at least I hoped he was asleep — in the bed across the hallway.
No, I told myself. You will not. Because that’s just creepy.
With something like the ghost of a sigh, I moved further upward, going through the lumber and composite shingles of the roof so I could emerge into the night air. It must have been fairly cold by then, despite how mild the day had been, but I couldn’t feel the wind, could only sense it because I saw the branches of the trees moving, young leaves fluttering in the moonlight.
I could also sense the creek. It seemed to call to me, and I moved in that direction, drawn by the glitter of the fast-moving water between its banks. Once there, though, I couldn’t feel anything else, only the low-level thrumming energy that always seemed like a deep bass note plucked once and allowed to keep on vibrating forever. The creek was safe, just as it always had been, and its pulsing power drifted over the cottage and to the houses on either side. They were all close enough to the creek to share in its blessings as well.
Reassured that all was well here, I began to move back toward the cottage, sailing serenely over the treetops, moving higher and higher. I’d done this several times before, drinking in the beauty of Sedona at night, reveling in the majesty of the red rock bluffs by moonlight. Their colors might have been subdued by the darkness, but when the moon was bright enough, it brought all their edges into sharp relief.
And then suddenly I wasn’t sailing, but was being drawn forward, past the cottage, over the blur of lights that was the highway, out toward the north and east.
Toward Secret Canyon, and the aliens’ base.
I resisted, tugging backward, but I might as well have been a swimmer caught in a riptide for all the good that did. Gasping, I fought, my astral body writhing against the unseen force. Somehow I knew that if it managed to pull me all the way to the base, I would never be able to escape.
And Lir Shalan’s voice in my head, amused. Did you think I didn’t know about this little trick of yours? I allowed it on board my ship because I wanted to see what you would do with the knowledge you acquired. As it turned out, that wasn’t very much at all.
Let me go, I gritted. At the same time, I couldn’t help but be grateful that my astral self was dressed exactly the same as I’d been when I went to sleep, in leggings and a baggy T-shirt. I didn’t have to worry about wriggling around in midair in a filmy nightie or something,
Oh, I think not, Lir Shalan replied. I’d rather see if you’re able to free yourself.
Another few seconds of struggling seemed to indicate that I couldn’t. An astral self couldn’t exactly become out of breath, but for some reason I was beginning to feel winded. How can you do this?
I am, as your people like to say, a man of many talents. These talents are very rare, and this is why I command. Surely you must know something of this, as my predecessor had similar powers. Or did Kirsten Jones not speak of it? I can see why she might have been ashamed.
Yes, because the former alien commander had basically attempted to mind-rape her. I wasn’t about to tell Lir Shalan that, though. I guess it never came up, I said, still trying to pull away. To no avail; now I knew what it must feel like for a flood victim to be swept up in a river’s current, realizing in despair that it would be impossible to break free and make their way to the safety of the shore.
Ah. A pause, and then he said, tone silky, There is no reason for you to fight. I don’t intend to harm you.
Oh, really? I shot back. Then what do you intend?
I wished I hadn’t asked the question. Because then my mind was flooded with — well, not exactly images, but impressions. Sensations. Lir Shalan taking me because his son had turned out to be worse than useless. I, on the other hand, could be useful. My psychic powers could be joined with Lir Shalan’s, creating a child who would be worthy to be his heir.
The denial burst from my throat in a tearing scream, one that had no words, only a single long, drawn-out cry of negation. And that scream seemed to shake me loose from his mental grasp, propelling me back toward the cottage as if I’d been shot from a cannon. In less time than it took to blink, I was slammed back into my body. My eyes flew open, and I pulled in a deep, hitching breath, my pulse thundering along every vein.
Had I screamed aloud? If I had, surely Gideon would have come rushing in here to see what was the matter. But the house was still and quiet around me, the only sound the faint whispery scratch of the willow tree outside as its branches trailed against the window, blowing with the night wind.
With shaking hands, I pushed back the blankets and duvet cover, and swung my legs over the edge of the bed. They felt just as shaky as my hands, but I forced myself to get up and make my way out to the kitchen. I’d left the under-cabinet lights on, just in case Gideon had wanted to wander out here and get himself a midnight snack or something. Now I was glad of their warm glow, glad that I hadn’t been forced to walk out here into utter darkness.
I went to the cupboard and got out a glass, then poured myself some water. For a second, I considered the wine in the pantry, but just as quickly I put that thought away. The last thing I needed right now was to weaken my thoughts with alcohol. Yes, I was shaken — and shaking — but I needed a clear head.
“Taryn?”
I whirled, heart pounding all over again, but it was only Gideon, standing in the doorway to the kitchen, his expression puzzled.
“What’s the matter?”
“I — ” I drank some of my water, hoping that would help to settle me down, remind me that I was now here in the cottage, far away from Lir Shalan’s reach. But it really didn’t help that Gideon was standing there in only his underwear and a T-shirt. His legs were long and strong and more muscular than I’d imagined they would be. “I had a bad dream,” I said quickly.
His brows drew together. “Are you sure it isn’t more than that? I can see your hands trembling from here.”
Damn it. Part of me had already resolved not to say anything about what had happened, but I knew that was no solution. Gideon had already broken from his father, true. This information wouldn’t change anything, except possibly to harden his resolve.
I recalled what Lir Shalan had said about Kirsten Jones, about how she probably hadn’t said told anyone about the previous base commander’s threats because she’d been ashamed. Well, that same sort of humiliation preyed on me now. I didn’t want to tell Gideon what his father had said because I hated to admit that he even dared to think of me in such a way.
But if I kept quiet, Lir Shalan would win.
“It was more than a dream,” I said then, after taking a fortifying swallow of water. “I can do something called astral travel. It involves projecting my consciousness from my physical body so I can move around by spirit only. I did it on your ship many times.”
Gideon’s eyes widened with shock. “You did? How often? When?”
“I can’t remember exactly how many times. Probably nine or ten, I think. And it was at v
arious times…mostly when I’d been left alone for a while and was bored out of my mind.”
He shook his head. “I am sorry about that.”
“It’s all right. I survived. But….” I let the words trail off as I warred with myself. Should I tell him that I’d witnessed that dreadful scene between him and his father? I doubted Gideon would be happy to know that I’d seen him in what he probably considered to be a moment of terrible weakness. On the other hand, if I was going to be honest with him about the dreadful encounter I’d just had with his father, then I should be honest with him about everything.
“I saw you,” I went on after a long moment. I made sure to keep my voice soft, as if that would make what I was about to say any less difficult for him to hear. “That time when your father confronted you. I saw him hit you.”
A wince, but Gideon didn’t say anything. He only stood there, mouth tight and eyes wary, as I continued,
“He was giving you grief about not trying to sleep with me, wasn’t he?”
That question shocked him out of silence. “Taryn!”
“Well, he was, wasn’t he?”
“Yes.” That single syllable was so weighted with pain and anger that I almost hoped he wouldn’t go on. But he did, telling me, “Let’s just say he didn’t appreciate my reticence. He’d certainly had no such scruples when my mother came into his possession.”
“And that’s why you were so angry.” I paused, then added, “And why you knew you couldn’t keep me there, not when you recalled everything your mother had gone through.”
“Yes.”
He looked so stiff and angry and yet sad that I wanted to go to him and wrap my arms around him. But that was far too dangerous, with him standing there in just a pair of dark briefs and a T-shirt.
I pulled in a breath, knowing that what I was about to tell him was far worse than the ground we’d already covered. “So I went down to the creek to look around — ”
“In your astral body.”
“Right. I drifted around for a bit, then came back toward the house. But as I came close, something grabbed me and began to pull me away. It was incredibly strong, and no matter what I did, I couldn’t seem to break loose from it. It began to pull me toward the abandoned base.”
“It was my father.” The sentence was uttered so flatly, so utterly without surprise, that I stumbled for a second before replying,
“Yes, it was. He was in my head somehow, talking to me.” I paused, then asked, “Do all Reptilians have that kind of talent?”
“No. That is, they can manage some forms of nonverbal communication, but what my father did — exerting his will in such a way that it acted on yours — there are very few with that sort of skill. It is part of the reason why he is the leader here. He can control those under him with his mind.”
A shiver went over me, and I had to keep myself from snapping that maybe it would have been a good idea if he’d warned me about some of his father’s hidden talents. “Do you have it?”
Gideon shook his head. “No, I did not inherit that gift. I suppose part of the reason he wanted me to — to be with you was he hoped I carried that particular gene dormant within me, and it would combine with your own considerable psychic gifts to create an unusually gifted child.”
“About that — ” I stopped then, knowing I had to go on with my story and really wishing there was any way to avoid it. “Lir Shalan was attempting to draw me to him so he could take me for himself. He said you’d proved yourself to be useless, and he’d decided it would be better for me to have his child.”
Red fury glared from Gideon’s eyes, and I had to force myself to remain where I stood and not back away from him. “He said that to you?”
“Yes.” I didn’t bother to sugarcoat it. That really was what Lir Shalan had said, more or less, and his son had a right to know.
Green-skinned hands knotted into fists, but Gideon didn’t move. I saw how his chest rose and fell, the way he was trying desperately to contain his anger. I waited for him to regain some control, knowing that he had to fight this battle himself.
After a long moment, he said, “But you got away.”
“I think it was his gloating that worked against him. He made me so angry and frightened that I was able to summon the strength to break free of him and come back here. I fell back into my body, and that was the end of it.”
Gideon didn’t say anything at first, only went to the window and separated two of the blinds’ slats so he could take a look outside. What he expected to see, I wasn’t sure. Hordes of advancing Reptilian soldiers?
But no, they couldn’t come here because of the creek. Then again, it hadn’t done such a good job of protecting me when I was in my astral body. Maybe it could only keep me safe when I was in my physical form.
Either way, I didn’t plan to go astral walking again anytime soon.
Then Gideon turned away from the window and took a long look at my face. Something in his expression softened, and he came to me at once, his arms going around me before I could protest or attempt to pull away.
Not that I really felt like doing either of those things. After what I’d just been through, I couldn’t think of anything better than having Gideon hold me, of feeling safe in his embrace, even if that safety might not be quite as assured as I had hoped it was.
“You’re all right,” he said, breath warm against my hair. “You’re here with me. I won’t let him hurt you.”
I buried my face in his chest and breathed in the warm scent of his T-shirt. Or was that halfway familiar fragrance only the subtle and very welcome smell of his skin? I didn’t know, and right then, I didn’t care. I just wanted him to hold me like this forever.
But even as I reveled in his closeness, the worry came over me again.
Could he really keep me safe? Would I be safe anywhere?
Eventually, we both went back to bed. As much as I would have liked him to crawl into the queen-size bed in my room and stay there with me, I knew I couldn’t give in to that urge. After that encounter with Lir Shalan, sex was probably the last thing on my mind, but who knew how I’d feel when I woke up in the morning? Better to avoid temptation altogether.
I did sleep at last, though, and didn’t open my eyes until almost eight o’clock the next morning. Faint sounds drifted in through my partway-open door, and I realized Gideon must have been in the bathroom across the hall, taking a shower.
My mental state was still unsettled enough that I only allowed myself a brief image of what he might look like in that shower before I pulled my robe off the hook on the back of my bedroom door and then tied it around myself. I didn’t exactly have a headache, but my head was throbbing faintly. I needed some tea.
Getting the hot water going and rummaging through the collection of tea boxes in the pantry helped me to feel a little more normal. As I waited for the water to boil, I went to the window and twisted the wand for the blinds so I could get a look outside.
Warm light slanted across the backyard, and a small, delicate breeze was playing with the leaves on the trees. There was absolutely nothing out there that looked threatening in any way, and yet I still couldn’t keep a shiver from passing through my body. The sun was shining, and it looked like a beautiful day, and yet I was scared spitless to go outside the cottage.
You don’t have to, I told myself. You can just stay here all day and….
And what? I knew the longer Gideon and I were in each other’s laps, so to speak, the harder it would be to resist him. At that point, I wasn’t even sure why I was bothering. Yes, Lir Shalan had wanted me for his son, and I hadn’t wanted to do anything that would make him happy, so delaying any intimacy with Gideon had seemed like the best thing to do.
But now it appeared that Lir Shalan had decided he wanted to take me for himself, in which case it seemed a better idea to thwart him by being with his son.
That’s still playing into his hands, I scolded myself. The water began to boil, so I went over and shut of
f the gas, then poured some hot water into the mug I’d set out on the countertop. Whatever you do, you need to do it for you, and for Gideon.
I couldn’t really argue with that. I also couldn’t argue with the realization that every time he held me, every time he kissed me, I wanted him more and more. It wasn’t as if I’d been holding on to my virginity because it was some precious thing. I was only still stuck with it because I’d never had the right person cross my path.
Now I was sharing a house with him. What the hell was I waiting for?
From out in the dining room, I heard a faint bing! and realized it was my phone, lying where I’d left it on the side table the night before. I hurried out to retrieve it, and saw that I’d had a text from my mother.
I just wanted to check in and make sure everything was going okay with you two. Do you need anything? Your father would like to stop by later if you’re going to be around. He and Lance had a convo last night, and he wants to update you on some things. I’d come, too, but I have a client flying in later this morning.
Did we need anything? The food situation wasn’t great, especially when it came to dinner, but we didn’t have to leave the house to get takeout. I supposed I could have asked for some basics to throw together a meal, but the truth was, my mother had never really showed me how to cook, since she wasn’t exactly an expert in the kitchen herself. It was probably better to stick with takeout meals. At least that way I wouldn’t have to worry about poisoning Gideon.
So I texted back, No, I think we’re okay. What’s going on in the outside world?
No reply at first. I didn’t think much of it, because my mother tended to send a text and then get distracted by something else. While I was waiting for her to get back to me, I took the phone and headed back to the kitchen, figuring my tea should be about ready. I’d just lifted the mug to my lips when my phone binged again.
Too much to go into in a text. Your father wants to know if he and Lance can come over around 10.
That sounded ominous, although it was probably better for them to come here. I didn’t really feel like subjecting Gideon to the carefully organized chaos of Lance and Kara’s house, which was usually where any important conversations concerning our group or UFOs took place. And even though the words had been framed as a request, I got the feeling this was more of a command performance.
sedona files 06 - enemy mine Page 18
