The friends and acquaintances that I had made with Russell had all fallen away when he had died. We had had such an enduring friendship that she felt like family. She loved and supported me more than my blood relatives ever had, that was for sure. I felt like I was using her in this scenario. She would get her money back with interest as soon as I could afford to give it to her. It was all my fault that I was in this mess but without her, things would be a million times messier.
“Should we go have dinner?” she asked. We went downstairs to a feast of a dinner waiting for us in the dining room. If I spent much more time here, I would get spoiled. I wasn’t allowed to indulge the way Missy did anymore and it always felt a little sinful when it happened. The table was spread with a roast with all the trimmings. Missy's chef was French-trained and could cook anything, but it was a comforting treat that we were going to have some classic home cooking. It almost felt like we were back in school again. Well, except for the wine we could drink now. Missy popped open a beautiful red and we had it alongside our dinner.
“You should really come down to London more often. I miss having you around here. That's the only time I can justify spreads like this,” she said motioning to the table.
“I would suggest that you come to Belshire, but you know how it is.”
“Hm, let's not talk about that tonight,” she said. The next day I would be catching a train back to Belshire. I loved that I was going to be able to see my son again but the little trips I took to spend time with Missy were honestly a highlight whenever I got to have them. At some point, I would have to think about moving. Isolation in Belshire did me no good. It wasn't that Russell had been the greatest company, he certainly hadn’t been, but since he was gone, my loneliness was magnified that much more. I never really formed a network of friends living in Belshire. Everyone simply knew me as Russell's wife. When I tried to make friends, I felt like they were judging me. I was the poor, clueless woman married to the cheating drunk. It got in the way of trusting people enough to let them in. Maybe moving away finally would give me that fresh start that I wanted and deserved.
The wine flowed and I started to feel a little tipsy.
“So, are you finally telling me about Niall?”
“What about him?”
“What's going on between the two of you?”
“It's complicated.”
“Well, do you like him?” Missy asked.
“Of course, I like him. He's a decent guy, and you've seen him, he isn't bad to look at.”
“So, you’re together or is it something else?”
“It's just that we have a history.”
“Oh, do you now? What kind?”
Missy did not know about the night when Russell sold me in a card game. I bit my lip, thinking about coming clean about it. It was one of my deepest and darkest embarrassments. The fact that Russell had given me to another man wasn't even the worst part, but rather the fact that my son had been conceived that night. And then it only got worse; I had lived for five years with Russell lying about the paternity of my son. Nobody knew, not even Prue. Even his birth documents named Russell as his real father.
Doing it, I never thought about the day when the lies would catch up to me. I just made the decision that I wasn’t telling anyone and the way things were with Russell, the secret was never in any danger of getting out. Frankly, I never counted on ever seeing Niall again and I surely never counted on Russell dying on me. Now, things were more complicated than I could have ever anticipated, and I was running myself ragged trying to maintain things the way they were. Things could never go back to the way they were though, could they? I looked at the wine in my glass, swishing it around.
“It's complicated,” I said again.
“Try me,” Missy said.
“He is Riley's father.”
“What?” Missy whispered, jaw slackening. That felt surprisingly good, finally getting it out. Why stop there?
“Yeah. Niall and I slept together many years ago and I got pregnant from it.”
“Did Russell know? Surely, he didn't. He wouldn’t raise another man’s child as if they were his own; he was far too selfish. How did you hide it all these years?”
“He was selfish regardless. He wasn’t attentive, even though he did think Riley was his. He just didn’t care. Besides, Riley looks so much like me, he probably never felt the need to raise the alarm.”
“So, the two of you know each other. How did you meet?”
“It was a complete shamble. It was right after the honeymoon. Russell and I were newlyweds and he was gambling that night. Long story short, he ended up staking me in a bet and he lost. Niall was the man who won.”
“Wait, wait, wait. Russell did what?”
It was so long ago now, and I was so numb to it that it no longer shocked or horrified me what Russell did that night. It was nice getting a reminder that what he did was despicable, even though the events that followed where some of my fondest memories, and had given me the greatest treasure in my life, my son.
“You know how he was with gambling. He put me up in a card game and he lost. I had to spend the night with Niall. The plan wasn't to sleep with him. He never pressed the issue either, but we were both drinking, and one thing led to another. The next day, I went back to Russell, he didn't ask about what happened, and I never told him. Nine months later, Riley was born, and luckily, Russell and I had been intimate around the same time so he didn't suspect anything.”
“So, he died without learning the truth?”
“The truth was hardly something he cared about, Missy. What if I had told him? What then? It wasn't that like he wanted a child anyway. I wasn't risking becoming destitute if he flew into a rage and kicked us out. He was barely engaged as a father or as a husband. I could have had an entire litter of kids and he wouldn't have noticed. I can’t feel sorry for that decision. I can’t.”
“Well, does Niall know the truth?”
“No, of course not.”
“Why not?”
I looked at her askance. “I can't tell him. I certainly could not tell him at the time, and I can't tell him now.”
“Why not? I daresay he has a right to know.”
I shook my head. “I can't do that Missy, he is an Earl. Riley is his bastard. If I let this be known, his family would have something to say about it and who knows what they're capable of.”
I had a fair idea what they might have been capable of. From what Niall had told me, his father was forcing him and another woman into a marriage that had been planned for them since childhood and he was not taking no for an answer. I did not want to come up against that kind of power and money when my son was at stake. I knew it was wrong and I knew that Niall had a right to know if he had a child out there, but the risk was too high.
“Surely he would protect you,” Missy said.
“I couldn't ask that of him. I couldn't ask him to choose his family over me. He barely knows me even though Riley is his son. And frankly, I think I forfeited the right. I had Riley's whole life to come clean and I never did. Four years… I think there might be an expiry date on these things.”
“Do you really think he would turn you away if you did tell him the truth about Riley?”
“No, he would never. He was a good man, but things are bigger than just me and him.” I shook my head again. “You know, I do like him. I love seeing him and I've never felt this strongly about anybody else before, but it's just not safe. I have to protect myself and I have to protect Riley. He can never know.”
“I still think you should do it. Think about Riley. He thinks his dad is dead but he's not.” She pressed on, seeing me shake my head. “If he is as good a man as you say he is, he shouldn't turn you away. He will do the right thing.”
“I don't know,” I said.
“At least consider it.”
For the first time since my son was born, I did.
21
Niall
I missed Eddy’s biscuits.
I speared a grilled tomato on my fork and held it up to my face examining it. I was sick of hotel food. Later I was going down to the chippy or something. I ate the tomato and followed it with some scrambled eggs. It was fairly late in the morning, around eleven but I had just gotten up and was barely through my coffee. I had no plans yet, but I wasn’t looking forward to the day. There was only one thing left for me to do here and it wasn’t going to be pleasant. Lisbeth Lane and I needed to have a conversation and I didn’t even know where to start contacting her.
My father would have her information, but I wasn’t calling him to find that out. I could ask around. An old acquaintance would definitely know her, if her social stature was as high as I was being led to believe. Of course! Aunt Pamela, Charlie’s mother. She knew everyone and despite their similarities, I would rather talk to her than my father. I drained my coffee cup and refilled it.
The plan was to let her down easily, be as gentlemanly as possible while making it clear that this was a farce and I had no intention of being involved in it. I couldn’t predict her reaction since I barely knew the woman and I didn’t know what she had been told about all this either. How hard was she likely to take it? I didn’t want to hurt her but there were going to be some hurt feelings, unfortunately. Imagine coming all the way to London to reject a woman. This was a mess I was looking forward to putting behind me as soon as possible. I took a swig of my coffee. It was going to be a long day. I was feeding myself a sausage when someone knocked at the door.
“Come in,” I called. The door didn’t open. Usually, I asked not to be disturbed, turning housekeeping away a lot of the time so I got up to get the door. I pulled it open, expecting to see a member of the hotel staff with a trolley, but it wasn’t. The tall man in a suit looked at me with the same disapproval that had etched his face into a permanent scowl my whole life.
“Father?”
He looked me up and down. “Why aren’t you dressed?” he barked. I wasn’t a child, and no one had invited him. How the hell had he found out that I was here? That was a dumb question and I knew it but I went from confused, to raging. I was about to give him what for when I noticed he wasn’t alone. Behind him was Lisbeth Lane.
“What are you doing here?” I asked, biting my tongue.
“Not a word of good morning. You were raised better.” He pushed me aside and stormed into my suite. Lisbeth stood at the threshold smiling at me. I stood aside.
“Good morning Lisbeth, would you like to come in?” I asked, motioning into the room.
“Thank you,” she said, strolling in. I took a deep breath closing the door with all three of us inside. I had planned on leaving London without seeing my father again. As far as I was concerned, the two of us were done. Lisbeth, I did need to talk to, however. Just my luck that she showed up but the two of them together didn’t bode well. I walked into the sitting room where my father was pacing, and Lisbeth was listening to him.
“If we’re quick, we can have everything done with at the end of this week,” he was saying.
“Have what done by the end of this week?” I asked. He stopped walking.
“The two of you are getting married,” he said. “You can sign the paperwork and then we can begin planning the ceremony.”
“I’m going back to New York.”
“You are doing no such thing, not until you’re wed.”
I raked my hands through my hair. “There will be no wedding. Do you understand? I can’t believe I’m still discussing this with you.”
Lisbeth looked a little sad, but my father was fuming. “For once in your overindulged, spoiled life, you are doing what you are told, Niall. You have been an embarrassment to this family for far too long. Do you understand?”
“And what are you going to do if I don’t do what I’m told? Disown me?”
“Maybe I finally should.”
“You have nothing on me, father. What will you do? Cut me off? I still have mother’s money. You’re not threatening me into marrying someone against my will.”
“I should disown you. Strip your title,” he said. I heard Lisbeth gasp. Ah. She didn’t like the sound of that, did she? Told me exactly why she was interested in marrying into the family. My quarrel was with my father though, not with her. As far as I knew, she had been roped into this as well and I wouldn’t be her first choice if she could make it herself.
“Do it. If you do, Charlie gets it and he deserves it.”
He stalked up to me, poking me in the chest. “You’ll besmirch the family name forever if you do this.”
I laughed. “Is that a threat? What family? This one? Am I supposed to capitulate to people who made my life miserable?”
“You ungrateful little git,” he said, taking the lapels of my robe and shaking me. I laughed, moving his hands.
“I’ve never seen you this worked up over anything,” I said. “I’ve wanted you to care all my life and finally you do. This debt of yours must be quite something. I don’t envy you. Good luck, I’m having no part in it.”
“You will, Niall or God help you!”
“What? What will you do, father?” I asked. He sputtered, his face still bright red but his threats failing him because he had nothing on me. Not a damn thing. For once, he needed me and there was no way for him to force my hand.
“You will not embarrass this young lady,” he said slowly. “Apologize to Miss Lane.” He walked out, leaving us alone. I waited and watched to make sure he didn’t come back. Dealing with my father drained me but this was hopefully the last time we had this conversation. What was he going to do? What was he planning? I had a bad feeling that if I didn’t get out soon, this wouldn’t be the last that I heard of him. Lisbeth was the only thing still keeping me in the city now. At this rate, I could be out of here by tomorrow… depending on how this went. I walked over to one of the sofas and sat.
“Well,” Lisbeth said, giggling. “That… went well?”
I laughed. “It went just the way he knew it would. I don’t know where he gets off thinking he can make me do anything at all with the history that we have.”
“I’m sorry that you’re being forced into this.”
“Likewise. This honestly seems like this is a total waste of your time.”
She shrugged. “I was told that there was an eligible earl, looking to marry. My father told me, and I jumped at the chance to do it of course. I mean, who wouldn’t? He never said that there was any opposition on your side.”
I waved her over, so she came to the sofa with me. “What did they tell you?”
“The Earl of Arden was looking for a wife. He lived in New York, but he was getting ready to settle down and he was going to be in London. It was mentioned that our families had a special connection… that was the debt I think you mentioned?” she asked.
“Must be.
“Well, then this is embarrassing. I suppose that isn’t true then?”
“It isn’t.”
“Very well,” she said, seeming to deflate slightly. “I overheard you and your father of course but I wanted to hear you say it to me while we were alone. I get the impression that you and your father aren’t on good terms.”
“We’re not and I don’t want you to think this has anything to do with you. You aren’t the problem here by any stretch. My father is completely out of line with his machinations. You seem like a perfectly decent woman.”
“Perfectly decent,” she said, scoffing. “That’s what every woman wants to hear.”
“No, no, I mean no offense,” I said. She was laughing.
“Don’t apologize. I like being perfectly decent,” she said, laughing. She was making fun of me. She wasn’t upset.
“In our limited time together, I have no complaints.”
“Then what is the problem?” she asked.
“You’re nice and I think you’re a fine lady. The issue is that I’m involved with another woman.”
“Ah,” she said, “the Baroness of Belshire?”
�
�How do you know that?” I asked.
“I had a feeling when we met that she was more to you than just a friend. You know, at the party? Anyone with eyes could tell,” she said.
“Lovely,” I said under my breath. Eddy drove me to madness, and it was apparent to anyone who wanted to know. “I’m sorry for that.”
“Don’t be. I suppose there’s trouble in paradise?”
“You wouldn’t know the half of it.”
“What does your father think of her?”
“He doesn’t know about her,” I said.
“Oh,” she said. A moment of silence passed between us. “He must know about her money troubles.”
I sat up. “Her what?”
“Her money troubles?” she repeated. I still didn’t get it. “The Baroness of Belshire is broke.”
“What are you talking about?”
“The Baron died recently, didn’t he? Well, he was a drunk and a gambler. He squandered their entire fortune and left her penniless when he died.”
“That can’t be,” I said out loud to myself. Eddy was broke?
“I thought your father knew and was cautious because he thought she wanted you for your money.”
“How do you know about this?”
“It’s hardly a secret but admittedly, I asked around after the party. People had stories. She’s had a hell of a time if the gossip is accurate. People say she’s resorted the selling off some of her lands and eventually, she might lose the estate entirely and her son will no longer be in line for the title. There are stories of her consorting with rich men on yachts to make money, trying to weasel her way into another great man’s house.”
I swallowed, hating that people were talking about Eddy like that. So many things made sense suddenly. Her house, almost completely gutted. The story about her redecorating was plausible but this made far more sense. It all fell into place. Her not getting anything at the boutique even when she asked me to take her. Her not wanting me in the house. The state of her grounds when a groundskeeper should have been maintaining it and even the caretaker’s cottage being empty when someone should have been on staff.
Admit You Love Me: A Secret Baby Romance (Irresistible Billionaires Book 2) Page 13
