Facing the Storm

by Wilson, Yumoyori

  Akihiro's soothingly calm voice was what gave me enough courage to lift my head. My weak eyes opened to meet his eyes; those forest green orbs held a level of acceptance and kindness that threw me off guard.

  I was lost in them, tears forming in mine and contributing to my blurry vision. "Aki..."

  "Watashi no Ai," he whispered. My Love.

  His beautiful long gold-orange hair was left down, his Kitsune ears and tails were out. He wore thin white pants, and he was crouched down next to the bathtub with Urufu on his left side.

  "What's the matter, Crim?" His voice was so gentle I wasn’t afraid to answer him.

  "I...had a bad dream. About, you know. That....that." I bit my lip and closed my eyes, holding back my sobs.

  "It's okay, Crim. I understand." I could tell from the tone of Aki’s voice that he did understand, and it was helping me calm down and not linger on my failed attempt to explain. I tried to finish.

  "It felt so real. Like I was back there again. I was there...and the pain was real. It was so hot. So fucking hot, and I couldn't do anything. Why didn't I fight back? I should have, but I was scared. She said she'd hurt you all. She dared me to try and defy her. What she did was a reward. How is it a reward when it hurts? It hurts, Aki. Every time I try to move forward, the pain comes back. Yet...for a split second, I liked it. I actually...liked it, but I hated it at the same time. I just feel so defeated. So worthless. I want to be strong Aki, but how can I be strong when the memories haunt me in my sleep and when I'm awake? How can I heal? I want to heal, Akihiro." I cried, looking desperately into his eyes.

  "You can heal, Crimson. You're taking the first step right now. Talking to me. Venting your feelings instead of bottling them up inside and letting them eat you up. You aren't weak, Crimson. You aren't giving up. You want to take the next step and that is a representation of strength," he said softly.

  "Aren't you disappointed in me? Why haven't you judged me?"

  "There's nothing to judge, Crimson. You were put into a situation that led to those events. Yes, you could have fought back, but you were selfless and thought about protecting us, the people you love. That isn't wrong, nor should it be judged or looked down upon. You did something many people wouldn't be capable of, and I won't allow anyone to say otherwise."

  "What if I don't heal?" I asked as my teeth clattered.

  He shook his head and his expression softened while a small smile formed on his lips. "You will heal, Crimson. I promise you. It may take days, months...maybe even years, but the healing process isn't a race and whatever has a beginning, has an end. You will reach the finish line and your prize will be getting the chance to feel the confidence and strength you yearn for in this moment. All I need you to promise me is that you'll never stop running toward the finish line."

  I took in his words and nodded slowly. "I won't stop," I whispered, praying the vow would be enough to hold my desperate request. My request to heal.

  Aki nodded and rose up. "Why don't we get those soaked bandages off and have a nice warm bath?"

  I nodded, noticing how trembling cold I was. "I think running cold water was a stupid idea of mine," I admitted and Urufu barked. She leaned in to lick my face, looking happy to see I was reverting back to my usual self.

  My Kitsune also calmed, feeling more reassured just as I did. She could feel Aki's, and it felt like we bonded even more since he'd started taking care of me. I wanted to have similar bonds with the others. I just needed a bit more time to heal these open wounds in my heart and mind so I could face them.

  "Just a little bit. I don't think your Kitsune likes her tails being soaked either."

  I hadn't even noticed my tails were out and completely drenched which made me scowl at the realization. "Ewww. I feel like a soggy puppy." I groaned, rising up with the intentions of getting out.

  Aki walked over and got two towels placing one on the floor for me to stand on while he cautiously wrapped the other around my body. He helped me out with ease, and while I tried to remain somewhat warm thanks to the fuzzy white towel, he worked on making the warm bath.

  It didn't take him long and he easily helped me remove the bandages that were practically stuck to my skin. At least my wounds were beginning to heal, but some parts were still sore and sensitive.

  He lowered his gaze to my shorts and then glanced back up to me. "You want to keep them on?"

  I had to think about my answer, a hint of fear running through me at the thought of being completely naked. Aki immediately noticed. "You can keep them on, Crimson. Not a race," he whispered and reached up to hold my hand.

  I swallowed and took a deep breath. "I want to try to have them off," I said softly. "As long as you stay. I don't want to be alone."

  I didn't feel ashamed of asking him, but I was scared he'd reject my request for his company. My fear was that if he left, I'd hear that woman's voice again and fall back into the spiral of my dark thoughts.

  "I'll stay for as long as you want me to," Aki assured me.

  He allowed me to remove the tight black shorts, and he didn't rush me when I stared at the warm bubble bath he'd drawn up and proceeded to take a few calming breaths.

  With my Kitsune's motivational howls in my mind, I stepped into the bath and slowly lowered myself into the bubbles. I sighed in relief, feeling my once tense muscles loosen after trembling for so long thanks to the chilling cold water from earlier. I looked up at Aki and kept my voice low as I spoke.

  "Do you...want to join? I mean you don't have to." I started with the suggestion but corrected myself, feeling slightly embarrassed asking. I knew our relationship was solid and I shouldn't have felt embarrassed asking for my companion's company in the bath, but because of my current situation I didn't know if he'd want to be so close to me.

  "I'd love to." His whispered response made my heart skip a beat. "Is it okay for me to be naked?"

  A smile formed on my lips, moved by his compassionate consideration. "Naked," I murmured, which really sounded like a purr. He grinned and proceeded to strip off the loose set of pants.

  We hadn't been intimate since the incident. Intimate as in sex. I wanted to, but at the same time, I didn't want to break down into a sobbing mess if Aki touched me the wrong way.

  He and the others had been really understanding, and I knew they weren't with me because of merely sex, but I realized it was going to be a process and that I had to slowly work my way to convincing my body I was in safe hands and the guys would never hurt me.

  I moved forward slightly, giving him enough space to enter the bath. A bit of water went over the edge, making Urufu bark before she began tapping her paws in the little puddle of water on the floor, her focus on the pink and gold bubbles.

  Aki relaxed back against the wall of the bath and I eased into his hold. Somehow he was able to wrap his arm around my waist without triggering anything, and I relaxed by resting the back of my head against his chest.

  My eyes closed as we both sat in a comforting silence, neither of us eager to exchange any words. I wanted to enjoy a few peaceful moments with Aki, appreciating the intimate contact of his bare flesh against mine and the warmth of the water that wasn't too hot.

  My Kitsune curled up within me, satisfied with the result of everything and enjoying the comfort of Aki and his Kitsune's presence. I hadn't even realized my tails had disappeared, but with how heightened my current hearing was, I assumed my ears were still out.

  I don't know how much time had passed until Aki whispered. "Crim? Want to finish up and go back to bed?"

  "Do we have to?" I asked, feeling sleepy, but didn't want to return to bed just yet.

  "Not if you don't want to."

  "Aki...can I ask you something really personal? You don't need to answer, but it's been bothering me."

  "Sure, Crim. What's on your mind?" Aki's supportive voice was enough motivation for me to confront my dying need to end my curiosity.

  "Were...you...I mean, did you experience what I did?" I finally got
the words out and held my breath as I waited for him to answer. I didn't know if he understood my specific question because I'd worded it horribly, but I hoped he did because I wasn't sure I'd have the guts to ask it again.

  "Yes," Aki confirmed. My Kitsune whimpered at the truth and I frowned, slightly turning my body to face him.

  His eyes were still green but had hints of amber in them as he met my gaze with a sad smile. "When I was younger. I didn't reveal it to my parents until later. Mine wasn't necessarily sex trafficking where I'd be sent to different 'masters,' but I voluntarily chose to go to different individuals who wanted me for their own pleasurable endeavors."

  "You volunteered?" I asked. It wasn't a judgmental statement, but I was shocked that he was willing.

  "It was me or my sister." His softly spoken statement had my jaw losing slack.

  "Aki..."

  He reached out to run his hand through my shoulder-length locks. “I'd rather live with the mental struggles I dealt with as a child and teenager than let my sister go through those dark times. Kitsunes are known to be kidnapped and sex traded to the highest buyer. Due to my parents somewhat higher status, that couldn't happen. So they threatened to use my sister and I wouldn't allow it. I did it for a few years until I was strong enough to say enough was enough. Yoshi's Father was able to track down the organization who was supporting this and they were shut down a year later, right before they had the intentions of kidnapping my sister anyways."

  No words could be spoken to even describe how I felt about his revelation. He noticed my speechlessness and smiled. "I'm over it, Crimson. I allowed my body to heal and with it, brought me the strength to continue forward. I have times where I break down or something triggers my past, but the guys are aware of it and they've supported me with no judgment. Was it hard? Yes. Sometimes it's still hard, but I look at how far I've come and the good things in my life and I tell myself I can keep running and aiming to bring peace around Homatomashi and eventually across the world so no one, shifter or human, has to deal with such a tragedy."

  "You're so strong, Aki," I murmured.

  "That took time, Crim. Time that you have in your grasp and will be able to embrace. You'll reach the finish line, and I'll be there to congratulate you on your victory," he whispered, his thumb brushing my cheek as he stared directly into my eyes.

  I smiled, a genuine wide smile as my eyes softened. "Aki?"

  "Yes, Crim?"

  "Can I kiss you?" My eyes lowered to his lips. How badly I'd wanted to kiss those lips this entire time but didn't have the courage to face him. Now we were face to face, and I wasn't afraid of abandonment or judgment.

  Aki loves me. Just like the others. I have to work on healing and that starts with being able to kiss them on my own again.

  "I've missed your lips." He nodded in approval, and I leaned into his embrace and kissed his soft lips.

  Me too, Aki. Me too...

  I felt something gently pat my forehead, which made my ears twitch.

  My mind was still in the middle stage of awake and asleep, making it hard for me to decide whether I wanted to wake up or not.

  "Woof." Urufu's quiet bark made me smile and I felt another pat on my forehead.

  "Woofa?"

  Hmm...Mizuko? What is he doing out? Opening my eyes out of curiosity, I was greeted by Mizu's turquoise blue ones. Uru poked her head into my view, the two of them curled up right against me and my Kitsune tails wrapped around their backsides.

  "Morning Uru and Mizu," I mumbled, slowly closing my eyes. I knew something was holding me against them, but I didn't feel afraid or really bothered by it. I just wanted to sleep a bit longer.

  "Woofa."

  "Woof."

  I listened to my two familiars play with one another while still in the bed. I heard Aki mumble something and he tightened his hold around me, his tails wrapping around me before he relaxed. I smiled, thinking about what happened last night.

  After our joined bath, Aki had helped wrap my lingering wounds with fresh bandages after applying a new ointment Father had bought me. It was making a dramatic difference and was speeding up the healing process. The physical healing process.

  I didn't bother to put a new pair of shorts on, wanting to take another brave step. I wouldn't eliminate wearing them, but I figured since Aki wouldn't hurt me, there was no need of wearing them.

  We'd both put on underwear and went to bed, cuddling one another while we randomly talked about stuff.

  I was curious as to what Storm had said when I'd allowed her to take control, but I wasn't in the mood to go into those details, especially without a cup of tea to relax me. Aki promised to explain with the others when we woke up and had some breakfast which I was thankful for.

  I felt with the recent news, we wouldn't have much leisure time left and I'd have to enjoy every moment of it.

  I must have fallen back to sleep because I woke up again to Aki tying up his hair into a ponytail. My eyes remained locked on the symbols on the long white ribbon that had gold and orange incantations.

  Aki noticed my inquiring gaze and a smile formed on his lips. "Morning."

  "Morning," I whispered, matching his smile with my own as I stared up at him in a dreamy manner. My Kitsune was awake and doing her own appreciative gazing, both of us loving how sexy Aki looked in the morning.

  He chuckled, finishing the last knot in his hair before he leaned down to give me a tender kiss.

  "You have a dreamy look on your face."

  "Do I?" I teased, hoping he'd give me one more kiss. He must have read my expression, lowering his lips to mine once more. This kiss was longer but still as gentle as ever.

  "Did you sleep well?" he asked.

  "Yes. I woke up to Urufu and Mizuko. I didn't even summon Mizu," I admitted and turned over to sit up.

  "WOOF!"

  "WOOFA!!"

  The two familiars I was speaking of jumped onto the bed to greet me and Aki. We both laughed and gave them a few strokes as they licked our faces.

  We watched them both jump off the bed and return to playing with some of Uru's toys in the corner. It reminded me I'd have to get Mizu some toys to play with too.

  "I noticed when you fell asleep as we were talking he appeared. Didn't know why, but he and Uru were cuddling with you for the majority of the time. Though they were playing around when I woke up. Maybe you summoned Mizu in your sleep?" Aki suggested.

  "Maybe?" I replied, resting my head on Aki's shoulder. He wrapped an arm around me and we watched the two begin to run around before a question popped into my head. "How is it Uru stays in her form all the time and the others don't?"

  "I don't really know. For those who have familiars, its different for all of them. I'm assuming Urufu is the strongest or 'leader' of the five of them and thus, can maintain her body with ease. The closer you get with the others, the easier it will be for them to be summoned. You have to just be careful not to expel too much energy by summoning all of them. Once you get a better understanding of them, you'll know which ones like to be out whenever, and others who rather be dormant until summoned."

  "Will you guys teach me? I feel things are going to get busy, especially when we have to retrieve the final crystal," I noted.

  Aki nodded. "Yes. Once we do a recap of what happened yesterday we'll have to figure out what the game plan will be. At least everyone got the evening off to absorb what we found out yesterday so we'll figure out what our next move will be. Itsuki will most likely be your main trainer for familiars and magic. Malachi also can help out as well, especially with combat. I'll most likely have to help Yoshi with planning soon. Quil's been taking my place but certain political leaders rather deal with me than Quil," Aki explained.

  I frowned, realizing he wouldn't be around. He squeezed me gently and pressed a kiss to my forehead. "When you were resting yesterday, I taught the others exactly how to put on the cream and bandages. If they're unsure about anything, they'll ask you," he assured me.

  "Than
ks, Aki. I know I should rely on the others more."

  "They want the best for you, just like I do, but they don't mind me spending time with you while you recover. Whatever makes you comfortable."

  I turned to look at him as he continued. "But if you want me to stay back, don't hesitate to say so. You are our priority," he stressed which made me grin.

  "I'm grateful to have you all in my life," I whispered. "It's nice to not be lonely anymore."

  He gently pulled me into his arms, letting me hug him tightly before I leaned back to look up at him. "We should get ready."

  "We should, seeing as we slept in."

  "We did?" I asked, glancing around the room for the clock. My eyes found the one on the wall, realizing it was 11 AM.

  "Nani?! How is it almost lunch time?!"

  The curtains were far too dark and covered the windows so well I didn't even see a hint of sunlight.

  "We were awake around four in the morning and didn't go back to sleep until close to six. You really needed the sleep," Aki explained. I gave him a shy smile and lifted the blanket to get out of bed.

  "Let's get ready then. At least we don't need to shower again. Do we need to change the bandages?" I asked.

  "You should be fine. The area is healing from earlier this morning. Changing them more often may be a negative as well. We won't be doing anything sweat worthy today, so they'll hold up just fine." Aki slid out of bed and began to stretch.

  I admitted his back muscles always made me bite my bottom lip and that yearning to enjoy him in bed came back. Down, Crimson. You'll have plenty of time to enjoy Aki...lots of time.

  Aki walked over to the dresser while I went to brush my teeth, Mizu and Uru following me to sit at my feet while I started my morning routine. I brushed the knots out of my hair, assessing the length that was now past my shoulders. I'm going to have to start tying my hair up.

  I'd yet to determine whether I was going to cut it short or not, my previous liking of the long hair was maybe influenced by Storm's presence. Now that I knew who she really was, I was confused whether to keep it long or cut it short like it used to be.