by Sasha Combs
“If my smoking bothers you. Then I’ll stop.”
Her eyebrows rose in confusion, when she said...
“You shouldn’t say things like that, unless you really mean it.”
“I do.” Hamilton said. He reached his hand in an inside pocket of his jacket. Hamilton pulled out a silver platinum case. The one in which he stored his cigarettes. Without any hesitation, he tossed it into the fire. She couldn’t begin to fathom why he’d just done this.
“Hamilton... You didn’t need to throw the case into the fire.”
“I’ve sworn off smoking, so what good is a cigarette case to me?”
“But... But...” Precious didn’t know what to say. Then when her mind cleared, she said as a warning.
“Quitting isn’t easy Hamilton. Giving up a habit may take years and years before the behavior finally sticks.”
“Not for me. When I set my mind to do something....I do it. No questions asked. No turning back.”
“But smoking is different.”
“No, Precious it isn’t. You’ve tolerated my smoking because I only smoke when I’m outdoors and you’re not around. But since arriving here, I’ve noticed that my habit irritates you.” Hamilton’s gray eyes were serious when he said...
“I don’t want to be linked to anything undesirable where you’re concerned. So you see... Now I have a reason to quit. I can stop smoking because I refuse to take years and years to achieve this.”
“But it isn’t that easy Hamilton.”
“It is for me.” He insisted.
Just like the topic concerning the phone call; Hamilton leaned back on the bench. He’d had his say, and in his mind; this conversation had been laid to rest. Hamilton raked his fingers through his hair; considering another topic of concern. Since arriving at his home, he’d been on the edge of asking her but Precious had seemed to fragile. Now, after drinking the wine; she looked downright at peace. However, if he was wrong, he was certain that later he could repair the damage.
He asked...
“So, tell me... What is it that you have against marriage?”
Precious felt her eyes buck out. She’d just taken a sip from her glass, then swallowed. Had his timing been off by just a few seconds; her gasp would have diverted the wine down the wrong way. She wondered where in the world had that question sprung from. She wiggled her bottom on her seat. Valid question, she thought to herself. Precious inhaled before saying...
“Marriage.... Well.... Let’s see... Marriage is an institution that doesn’t appeal to me.”
His eyebrow raised, clearly he needed further explanation. She inhaled again, then said...
“Marriage is an anchor. An anchor linked to a thick chain, preventing forward momentum.”
“Anchors are a good thing.” He said... “They keep boats moored to the quay. They also prevent drifting or collusions with rock formations.”
“That’s a bad analogy” She said frowning. He laughed then said...
“All right... But you’re the one that started this anchor bit and maybe my comparison wasn’t the best.” He thought for a moment, then said...
“OK, try this one on for size.” In the firelight, she could see the embers shimmering in his silver eyes.
“In marriage; the partners need something that keeps them centered. An object... Better yet. A purpose that keeps them wanting the same thing. Whatever it is that brought the couple together...that thing, or purpose is their anchor. It centers them. It reminds them why they got married in the first place.”
“Baloney.” She said, then Precious laughed.
“Not buying it huh.” He said, as a statement and not a question.
“Not on your life. Marriage is an anchor all right. An anchor tying the woman to her house and home. An anchor that highjacks her uterus then traps her with its responsibilities. Then, before she knows what hit her... She’s taking an extended leave from her job... Or maybe never returning at all.”
“Come on...” He hedged. “You cannot be serious. You’re talking like a suffragette. We live in the twenty-first century. Married women can have whatever they want. However they want it.”
“Believe the hype if you want, but I’m not willing to risk my life on myths and dreams.”
“Precious... Please tell me that you’re joking.”
She couldn’t believe that she was having this conversation with Hamilton Gantry. The man whose presence had fueled her dreams and all of her most recent orgasms. Now, that was a topic for conversation.
She tucked her knees in tight, pushing her feet beneath the bench. Holding her ground, she said...
“Look... You’re a man and this is a subject you could never possibly understand.”
“Try me...” and Hamilton really meant it. He wanted to know what made her tick. He needed to understand her.
Precious hemmed and hawed. Pushing branches and twigs that lie near her with her feet. Then she said...
“Hamilton, I want a life that I can control. I want to work as long as I want; without worrying that a husband will be angry when I come home late...or if I don’t come home at all. I don’t want a husband reminding me that couples typically make babies or that a wife should tend to her husbands needs. I don’t want the bother and I don’t want the hassle. I saw what my moms life was like and I’m an only child.”
“But, your mother didn’t appear to be unhappy.”
“I didn’t say that she was. My mom is happy and my parents have a loving, healthy relationship. But we’re two different people and when she was my age; my mom wanted to be a wife and a mother.”
“But you don’t.” Again, she noticed the inflection in his voice. His words had not been phrased to form a question. She stared at eyes that knew her so well.
“No, hamilton, I don’t want the same things that my mother wanted. And that doesn’t make me a bad person.”
“I didn’t say that you were a bad person.”
“No, you didn’t. But the people marching in front of my home... They think that I’m bad.”
“Precious... The people in front of your home... They don’t know you. They know the person that they saw on television. The image that you portrayed for the reality television program.” He stared at her saying... “That person isn’t the real Amelia Precious Sinclair.”
Until arriving at his home, Precious couldn’t recall a time when she and Hamilton had simply sat and talked about absolutely nothing. They had never had one of those, ‘shoot the breeze’ sort of casual conversations. She knew the value of those easy going talks. People tended to relax, saying things that they might not otherwise say under different circumstances. Even so, Hamilton had pegged her. He knew Precious as well as her dearest friends. In a sense, it was frightening how much he saw into her soul. She’d always assumed that Hamilton Gantry favored her over the other women cast on the reality show. But until now, her thoughts had been nothing more than gut instincts. But over the past few days, Hamilton had given her more than a few hints. His remarks and stares made her know with certainty; in the past his observations had not been fleeting, and his attention to her character explained why he knew her so well. Nonetheless, even though the idea of him admiring her was pleasing; she couldn’t allow herself to dwell on that now. Precious wanted to continue their conversation about marriage. She said...
“So, do you believe in marriage?”
“Yes. I do.”
Hamilton didn’t pause nor hesitate and that startled her for a moment. She asked...
“Then, why aren’t you married?”
Precious was curious but oddly, she was glad that he wasn’t legally attached.
“I do believe in marriage as long as it’s with the right person. For me, that person will be someone that I can respect and build a life with. I want a woman who knows her mind and isn’t afraid to stand up for what she wants or believes in. I’m looking for the right woman to hold my heart. A person who cares about her dreams as well as mines.” Hamilton stared at h
er, and he waited a beat; giving her time to absorb what he’d just confessed. Then after a few more heartbeats, he sighed and said...
“When the time comes... I’ll married that woman. Until then, it’s me and me alone.”
She took a stab in the dark...
“I hope your assistant knows that.”
“What...?” He laughed.
“I saw the way she drooled over you.”
He stared at her for a moment, wondering if she was being serious. Then he considered that perhaps, this was another one of her deflections to steer the topic away from her. But as he took her in, inch by inch; her posture and expression had not changed. She was waiting for a response and he was fairly certain that she expected a serious answer.
He cleared his throat, then he wondered how much he should say.
“Well, as for my assistant. I’m not her type.”
“Not her type?” She couldn’t imagine Hamilton not being any woman’s type. She hedged saying... “Is she gay?”
He laughed...
“I wouldn’t have been surprised if she was...but no, she isn’t. My assistant prefers dating black guys. She once told me that she likes them tall, dark and hanging. Whatever that means.” Precious noticed that he didn’t appear to be jealous or injured by her snub. His assistant was a bit of an eccentric and he wasn’t at all bothered by this. Hamilton added...
“Actually, Audrey limits her picks to professional basketball players. I’ve never seen her date anyone that didn’t fit that bill.”
“She’s a groupie...?” She said shocked. Hamilton laughed, then he said...
“Every year, her Christmas gift is the same. Court side season tickets to the Lakers games.”
They both laughed at this and the merging sound formed a fusing harmony. He enjoyed seeing her mouth turned up into the most beautiful smile he’d ever seen on a woman’s face. He wanted her mouth to stay framed just as it was. However, as much as he wanted this, Hamilton still had other questions. His mind still lingered on the topic of marriage. He asked.
“What do your friends think about marriage? I already know about Faye because she’s engaged.”
Precious laughed then she said...
“And wasn’t the timing of her engagement amazing.”
She smirked at him, raising one knowing eyebrow. Precious continued.
“Don’t get me wrong. I don’t doubt that she really cares for Wilson, but Faye lives to plot and plan. Rarely are there coincidences. Faye met Wilson shortly after you gave our reality show the go ahead. Then she fast tracked their dating by breaking several rules. Generally, Faye never is the one in the relationship doing the traveling. She prefers her men to come to her. But when she met Wilson, she deliberately kept him a secret. She wanted her fans to learn about him after her engagement announcement.”
“Maybe she waited because she wanted to be sure that the relationship would take.”
Precious shook her head, while saying...
“No way. That isn’t the way Faye operates. She held back her news because she wanted to be the shining star on our last show. Faye wanted to start the summer off, with everyone talking about her and Wilson.”
“Well, it kinda worked.” He said, and she understood his meaning. Even though a few of the entertainment shows had talked about Faye and Wilson; everyday Precious was a hot topic. By the downturn of her head, he rightly assumed that this was a subject better left alone.
Hamilton said...
“What about Regina and Pamela. Are they marriage phobic?”
She laughed, saying...
“Regina isn’t dating anyone serious but she’ll marry the first man that dares to ask her. And Pamela... Well, as long as the guy can tolerate her fascination for fast cars and motorcycles; I would say that she’s the marrying kind. Actually, Pam wants to marry and start a family right away. Get this... Pamela wants to have three boys and three girls.”
“Sounds like the Brady Bunch to me.”
“Sounds like she’s nuts to me.”
They both laughed. For a moment, Hamilton wondered what it would be like, having a large family with Precious. He’d never considered this before. In the past, only once had the opportunity presented itself; but the chance had not lasted for long. But with Precious; well, she would be the perfect person. Her features would mix well with his. Their children would come in varying shades; pale like him, creamy brown like her, while the others would fall somewhere in between. With his silver gray eyes, and her constantly changing hazel shade. On that point, their children’s eye color would be determined by a toss of the coin. Yep, he thought to himself. If it were up to him, he wouldn’t mind having Precious as the mother of his children.
Precious squirmed in her seat. The silence was beginning to make her uncomfortable. Not as much as Hamilton’s heavy gaze, but eerily similar. The way he looked at her; his stare touched her, heightening her senses. His pointed gaze made her more aware of her body. Precious felt a sudden chill and the sensation spur her hands into motion. When she came outdoors, she’d neglected to dress properly for the night weather. Her hands urgently glided across her flesh; rubbing her arms with vigor. Hamilton’s eyes went wide, because he didn’t like the idea of her being uncomfortable.
“Come here Precious.”
She was quite certain, Hamilton had beckoned her to come to him but instead, he’d been the one to rise, changing his position. When he sat next to her on the bench, she thought it best to keep her gaze on the fire. Hamilton wrapped his long arms around her shoulder; pulling her to sit closer, to draw from his body heat. She’d never felt her body respond so swiftly and she’d not been given any time to prepare herself. All at once, the hairs on her arms stood on end, and her blood vessels nervously began to constrict. She could feel her heart pounding in her chest. The sound was so loud, she could hear the chambers opening and closing; each valve sending its echoing beat to her ears. Too much of him was flooding her senses. The smell of his aftershave. The weight and pressure of his arm around her neck. The feel of his strong fingers caressing and warming her skin. Even the vibrating sound resonating from the wall of his chest; the full deep timbre in his voice willed her eyes to lower. Precious sought out darkness behind closed lids because his gesture to warm her had drummed up enticing images.
“There, now. Isn’t that better.” He asked, but Precious couldn’t find her voice. She just hummed a sound, praying that he wouldn’t ask to hear more.
“Mmmhm.” Was all she could say.
“I love it out here at night. The stars and the sound of crickets and tree frogs.”
Hamilton’s head fell back. From this angle, he admired the night sky. With a slight turn of her head; instead, Precious choose to admire him. What was it about this man, she asked herself? What was it that begged to question? Being in his company had drudged up intense longings and desires; emotions that warred with her moral compass. Her struggles weren't wholly due to his rugged good looks and her out of control fantasies didn’t revolve around Hamilton’s endless class flow either. She admired the way he thought things out, finally reaching a place of reason. But even that wasn’t the one characteristic that compelled her to desperately crave his nearness. She couldn’t clearly weed out an answer, yet she sensed a hunger only Hamilton could satisfy. Precious had come to understand this, and the slow revelation had twined with her world; refusing to release its hold. Despite that, she still didn’t know what to do or how to react. Relinquishing control had never been one of her strong suits.
Cradling her head in the crook of his arm, Precious leaned even closer to him. Her head tilted back to admire the night sky. She didn’t even notice when Hamilton’s eyes lowered to look at her. She was so close to him. It would have taken very little on his part to steal a kiss. He imagined the feel of his lips brushing across her cheek. The idea led him to other thoughts. More salacious wonderings. He twirled his tongue considering the taste of her creamy brown flesh. These visions of passion were nothing less
than pure magic. Even though he enjoyed the temptings of his brain; Hamilton knew in their current situation, he would never take advantage of Precious. He could smell the thick aroma of wine wafting from her breath. He was also fairly certain, after he’d left her in the house; Precious had consumed the entire bottle. After a brief moment, Hamilton lowered his eyes because his conscience wouldn’t allow him to be anything other than a gentleman. If he kissed her, his show of affection would require something from Precious and in her current state, her foggy brain wouldn’t be able to deliver. Hamilton would need to know with certainty, that his kiss had been wanted, and not tolerated. With so much wine on board and Precious showing signs of inebriation; if they shared a kiss, he knew he would enjoy it but Hamilton wouldn’t know if Precious sensed the same desires and passionate longing.
***********************
Chapter 6
Nine days, and still counting
Precious peered through the passenger side window, pretending to be amused by the sight of a towering mountain. Truth be told, she couldn’t care less and the spectacular pageantry was wasted on her. For the past few days, she’d been impossible to live with and bored out of her mind. After her stroll to the fire pit, that following morning Hamilton had coaxed her outside. They took a short walk and on that next day he’d managed to persuade her to go fishing with him. Hamilton had enjoyed her company immensely, but he’d spotted her yawning more than once. So today, when she asked what was on the agenda; he surprised her by saying that they were going in town for the day. Precious lit up like a Christmas Tree; all glitz and glitter. But her bright smile faded when she saw the place Hamilton referred to as a ‘town’.
As they left his property, Hamilton drove down a winding wooded road, that emptied out, then curved along the Pacific Ocean. After that, he drove for nearly another hour, then finally she spotted a signpost, pointing the way to civilization. She’d expected to see pedestrians, traffic and streetlights but instead, there were just more tall trees. When the vehicle finally came to a stop, it took Precious less than a minute to sum up the small town. She wasn’t even sure if town was the right word to use in this case but her mind went blank when she searched her vocabulary, attempting to dream up another word to describe what her eyes were seeing. On both sides of the one main street, there were no more than eleven one and two story buildings and that included the three pump gas station on the corner.
