‘Can I go and play?’ asked Josh, who’d just spotted Matt with Pete.
‘Course you can,’ said Amy, and waved at Pete, indicating that Josh was on his way up. ‘Right,’ she said to herself, ‘time for some serious digging.’
‘You need a man to help with that, dear.’
Amy looked up to see Edie looking at her sagely. Or was it Ada? They were interchangeable in her mind. Edie/Ada was heading ominously towards Harry’s allotment with a flask and a huge fruit cake. Amy hoped for his sake that Harry wasn’t there.
Biting back the reply that unfortunately there were no suitable men around, Amy smiled and just got on with her digging. There was one downside to the community spirit that existed here, so very different from the isolation of her London street – that it was damned nigh impossible to move without someone knowing your business.
Twenty minutes later, she was exhausted, had a pile of weeds a mile high, and had cleared less than a tenth of the allotment. Scary Slug Man had wandered up to her allotment, shaken his head, muttered something incomprehensible and then ambled away again, which hadn’t inspired her with confidence. In between the weeds she had found the odd potato and she was putting them aside for later. Why on earth hadn’t she done this weeks ago? The ground was beginning to get hard – there had been one or two frosts already – and she had forgotten how difficult digging was. Josh and Matt hadn’t helped either, as they were playing some complicated game that involved running about and shrieking a lot, and jumping on and off the two patches of bare earth she had managed to expose. They were beginning to wear her ragged, and she wished she had thought to palm Josh off on Harry. But he was so good about helping out that she didn’t like to ask him too often.
‘You probably need a rotivator for that,’ said a familiar voice.
Amy turned around with a smile. It was Ben – she hadn’t seen much of him recently, and she realised with a jolt that she had missed him.
‘I’m coming to the same conclusion myself,’ said Amy. ‘But it’s probably too late today to hire one.’
‘Mind you, you have to be careful digging round here,’ Ben continued. ‘There’s supposed to be a Roman road running through the allotments. You wouldn’t want to dig it up and ruin the archaeology.’
‘Don’t you know the most interesting things,’ said Amy, laughing as she took a break from her digging. ‘You should get Time Team in.’
‘Now there’s a thought,’ said Ben. ‘But sadly it’s probably an apocryphal story. You look busy. Do you need a hand?’
Ben didn’t want to be pushy, but he could see Amy was struggling, and he was cursing himself. He had promised Caroline he would look after her allotment, and he had been quite good to begin with, but he had been so busy in the summer that he had let it go. And when Amy had moved in, he had thought it tactful to retire gracefully from the scene.
‘That is really very nice of you,’ said Amy. ‘I seem to be permanently in your debt.’
‘I can’t think of anyone who I would rather owe me,’ said Ben, and smiled.
Amy caught her breath for a moment. Her palms felt sweaty and her heart was hammering nineteen to the dozen – and all because Ben had smiled at her. She coloured at her stupidity, and turned her head away.
‘Best get on,’ she said. ‘We’ve got a lot to do.’
Ben thought once more of his proposed trip to Colorado. Caroline had emailed again, and he was still sorely tempted. He needed some time away, some time to think. However, for some reason he had found himself prevaricating, which was unlike him.
Amy looking at him like that tugged at his heart, and, for the first time, staying in England seemed the more attractive proposition. But then Amy went on digging, and their conversation dried up. There was nothing more there than a burgeoning friendship, Ben reminded himself. For Amy it would probably always be a winter’s day. And her heart might never heal. All she wanted from him was friendship, and he would be foolish if he looked – or waited – for anything else,
CHAPTER EIGHT
‘It’s a bit spooky going out in the dark,’ said Josh, clutching Amy’s hand as they negotiated their way down the muddy path that led onto the allotments. They were both wrapped up against the cold – it was a bitter night.
‘Well, that’s why I’ve got a torch,’ said Amy, ‘so we can scare away all those spooky things trying to frighten us.’
‘Matt said ghosts come out in November,’ Josh announced. ‘Does that mean Daddy will come back?’
Amy knelt down next to her son. These questions always left her scrabbling, for what could she say that was not deeply inadequate? Josh hadn’t asked anything like this for such a long time. He seemed a little better at school, but he was still coming in to her at night, and they frequently had tears in the morning. How could she know what was going on his head; how much the loss of his dad had affected him? Josh was so young. It tore at her heart to think of him suffering this way. But she did her best to try to stay positive and honest.
‘Sweetheart, Daddy isn’t a ghost.’ She gave him a fierce hug. Not for the first time she felt angry that his young life had been blighted like this.
‘Oh good,’ Josh said seriously. ‘I wouldn’t like him to be a ghost. I think he’d be lonely. If he’s in heaven, he’s got Gramps with him.’
Amy sighed with relief. Gramps and heaven and being happy were as good an explanation as any. ‘That’s right, sweetie. Daddy is playing with Gramps. And you know what?’
Her son shook his head. ‘No, what?’
‘I’m sure they’re both looking down at you and thinking what a lovely little boy you are.’
‘Good,’ said Josh, and then, in a manner that Amy never failed to find disconcerting, completely switched subjects. ‘I want to see big fireworks. Do you think there’ll be lots of bangs? Matt said last year there was a firework the size of a house.’
‘Did he now,’ said Amy with a laugh, wondering what other nonsense Matt the Oracle seemed to have filled Josh’s head with. ‘I don’t think you should always pay too much attention to what Matt says.’
The fireworks display was being held at the far end of the allotments, close to the bottom of Saffron and Pete’s garden. There was a flat patch of ground, near the allotment entrance, that was untended and mainly used for people to dump waste on, which the council picked up from time to time. The Guys had obviously taken the opportunity to use the current pile of waste as the basis of their bonfire, and were stoking it up with paper and bits of wood. They had even made a guy of their own, who was perched precariously on top of the fire. And they were dancing around it, whooping like schoolboys. One of them – Clive, she thought his name was – seemed to be waving a can of petrol round alarmingly wildly.
‘That’s not what I think it is, is it?’ said Amy to Ben, who had just walked up with Harry.
‘Yup, I think it is,’ said Ben. ‘Clive and Keith found some petrol in their garage when they moved in; they’ve been desperate to get rid of it ever since. Should liven things up a bit.’
‘Ben! You’re a doctor!’ scolded Amy. ‘Shouldn’t you warn them to be careful?’
‘I’m sure they won’t do anything stupid,’ said Ben. ‘You should have seen the sorts of things we did when we were students. No one ever got hurt. Well, not much anyway.’
‘Harry, you talk to him,’ said Amy.
‘I wouldn’t worry about it, my dear,’ said Harry. ‘This happens every year, and really, despite appearances, they are careful. I like a bit of excitement myself.’
‘You’re both as hopeless as each other,’ Amy said in disgust. ‘What is it about fireworks that brings out the kid in men? It’s the same with barbecues. You must have all been pyromaniacs in your previous lives.’
‘Probably,’ agreed Ben. ‘And to prove it, I’m going right over to where the action is.’
Amy went to find Saffron, who she felt would offer a slightly more sane approach to the proceedings. Saffron was sitting by an outdoor ba
rbecue and she and Pete were grilling sausages. Ellie was wrapped up and fast asleep in her buggy, and the other children were playing by the fence under the watchful eye of Elizabeth. Josh went quickly to join them.
‘Good lord,’ said Amy. ‘A man not obsessed with burning things or blowing things up, but one doing the cooking!’
‘Oh, is the conflagration about to start?’ Pete said. ‘I might be needed. And the Guys have made a guy. I have to see that go up in smoke. Here, Amy, would you mind turning the sausages for me?’
Amy raised her eyes heavenwards.
‘It’s a boy thing, evidently,’ she said. ‘Go on, off you go and join your pals, Saffron and I can cope here.’
‘Amazing, isn’t it?’ laughed Saffron. ‘Normally I wouldn’t get a look-in at a barbecue, and now just because there are fireworks involved …’
Amy came behind the table and started to turn the sausages. She looked over to the fire, which had finally been lit. The Guys were chucking more bits on to get it burning better. Their guy was perching precariously on top of the bonfire and starting to burn. With a, ‘One, two, three –’ one of them, Charles, threw some of the petrol on the fire, which whooshed upwards, much to the delight of all the men and the disgust of all the women.
‘Cool, Mummy!’ said Josh. ‘Did you see that?’
‘Yes, I did,’ said Amy. ‘And you’re to go nowhere near it.’
In no time at all the fire was blazing away. Bill and Bud, two of Harry’s wine-producer chums, evidently ignoring orders, were handing out a dubious concoction that they claimed was damson wine. Amy tried some and thought it tasted of TCP, so politely chucked it in the bushes when no one was looking. Edie and Ada, armed with their flasks, were trying to persuade the wine producers they should be drinking hot chocolate instead, to no avail. Harry had joined Bill and Bud, who had started singing Elvis songs rather tunelessly. Amy and Saffron handed out hot dogs in fits of giggles, but they were relieved when, after a few more whooshes, it transpired all the petrol had been used up.
After that there was a bit of a free-for-all as the men competed as to who had the biggest rocket. By now, Amy’s feet were beginning to freeze, and she was remembering why she always got fed up with fireworks.
At the sound of the first rocket, Ellie woke up and burst into tears, so Elizabeth took her inside. Two minutes later, Matt and Josh ran after her, deciding that fireworks were a little bit too scary after all. Elizabeth didn’t seem to mind looking after everyone, so Amy stayed to hand out hot dogs – at least moving about a bit stopped her feet from turning to blocks of ice.
‘Enjoying yourself?’ In the dark, she hadn’t noticed Ben approach. Her heart gave a little skip as she wondered if he’d sought her out on purpose, before she managed to get it under control and tell herself not to be so stupid. Ben was just being friendly, that was all.
‘Apart from my freezing feet,’ said Amy. ‘And you?’
‘Me too,’ said Ben. ‘And the company couldn’t be better.’
Amy was glad he couldn’t see her blushing in the dark. She was about to think of a deflecting kind of reply when she heard a commotion, from near the entrance to the allotments.
‘I can come to thish fireworks party if I want to,’ a slurred voice was saying loudly and aggressively. ‘Where’s my little girl, I’ve got a present for her.’
‘Oh no,’ said Ben. ‘Griping Gerry’s turned up again.’
‘What? Saffron’s ex?’
‘The very same,’ said Ben. ‘He’s a right pain in the arse. He pretty much ruined things for everyone last year. I’d better go and see if Pete needs a hand getting rid of him.’
‘And I’ll try to stop Saffron finding out,’ said Amy. Saffron had already confided earlier on that she was furious with Gerry. He had promised to take Becky and Matt to Pizza Hut the previous evening for Becky’s birthday and had failed to deliver, as usual. Saffron had been knocking back the lagers as she said this, and Amy had a feeling that a meeting between the two of them wouldn’t be pretty.
She went back to the barbecue table, but Saffron was nowhere in sight, and someone said she had started to clear things away. Amy breathed a sigh of relief. Maybe the boys would get rid of Gerry before she came out again.
Gerry meanwhile had pushed his way through the crowd around him, and was striding up to the gate.
‘Look, Gerry,’ Pete was remonstrating, ‘I have no problem with you seeing Becky, but you had your opportunity last night and you blew it. So why don’t you do us all a favour and go home?’
‘You can’t stop me seeing my daughter,’ said Gerry, swaying slightly. ‘Just cos you’ve taken my leftovers doesn’t mean you get to take my daughter away from me too.’
Pete lunged at Gerry, but Ben pulled him back.
‘It’s not worth it,’ Ben said. ‘Really, he’s not worth it.’
Amy came up and put an arm through Pete’s. ‘He’s right, you know he is.’
‘Well, who’s this top totty?’ Gerry leered at her. ‘Has the dozy doc found a girlfriend at last?’
‘Shut it,’ said Ben. ‘Just go home, Gerry, you’re not wanted here.’
‘Whyyouall so horrible to ’im?’ shrieked a blonde banshee at Gerry’s side, whom Amy assumed was the latest squeeze.
‘We’re not being horrible to anyone,’ said Ben, in patient tones. ‘We just think it would be better if you left.’
‘Better for who? You can’t stop me seeing my daughter.’ Gerry pushed his way past Ben and started marching up the garden path.
‘Yes I can, and I will.’
Everyone turned to see Saffron standing blocking the pathway – a dark shadow against the light streaming from the kitchen, hands on her hips, eyes blazing.
‘Why do you have to do this, Gerry? Why do you always have to ruin it for everyone?’
‘I jush want to see my daughter,’ said Gerry.
‘No law against that, is there?’ The harridan at his side was as belligerent as Gerry.
‘Well, tough,’ said Saffron. ‘She doesn’t want to see you. You’ve let her down once too often, Gerry. It’s not me stopping her seeing you. It’s her. You were given the opportunity of taking her out last night, and you didn’t take it, so sorry, you don’t get to see her now. And if you’ll excuse me, I’m about to host a party and I think it’s time my guests came inside.’
‘A party in my house,’ said Gerry.
‘Gerry, it’s not your house any more, remember?’ said Saffron. ‘You left it. And you left your children. By rights I could stop you seeing them altogether, but for their sake I won’t. So butt out of it before I change my mind. Come on, folks, let’s all go inside. Show’s over.’
With a parting glance at Gerry, Saffron stormed off up the path. Gerry looked around, and seeing everyone moving past him into the house seemed to sense there was no point carrying on. He shouted loudly after Pete, who had walked stonily past him, ‘You know she’ll go frigid on you, don’t you?’
With that, Pete turned like a whirlwind, flew at Gerry and punched him straight on the nose. Gerry swayed for a minute before collapsing slowly and delicately in a small heap on the ground.
There was the sound of a slow handclap from the kitchen step.
‘Way to go, Pete,’ said Saffron, her voice dripping sarcasm. ‘You turning into Neanderthal Man was just what I was after.’
‘I only did it for her,’ Pete said to Amy for about the fiftieth time. ‘You understand, Amy, don’t you?’
‘Yes,’ said Amy, squinting at the bottle of wine and discovering to her surprise it was empty. Oh dear, she was seeing double. There were two empty bottles in front of her. No, it was okay. She wasn’t seeing things. There were two bottles on the table. Luckily they weren’t the produce of Bud and Bill, but somehow she and Pete had managed to drink them both. She blinked and looked at the time. Bloody hell, it was nearly eleven o’clock. It had been a long evening.
Pete’s punch had turned out to be lucky. It was alcohol that had
caused the sudden collapse, though Pete was rather proud of the fact that he had drawn blood. After being given the once-over by Ben, who pronounced him fit enough not to go to Casualty, Gerry had mustered what was left of his dignity and retreated with the harpy.
It wasn’t enough to pacify Saffron, though.
‘What the hell did you have to hit him for?’ she’d said angrily as everyone gathered in awkward groups in the kitchen.
‘He was rude about you,’ said Pete.
‘Pete, I’m big enough and ugly enough to fight my own battles,’ said Saffron. ‘And I really don’t expect you to resort to fisticuffs on my behalf.’
‘I was only trying to help,’ protested Pete.
‘Well don’t,’ said Saffron. ‘It’s hard enough managing Gerry and the kids without you sticking your oar in.’
‘That’s unfair and you know it,’ said Pete, getting cross himself now.
‘It’s bloody true,’ said Saffron. At that moment the baby had started crying, and Saffron had glared momentarily at Pete before stalking off upstairs. Despite Amy’s remonstrations, she’d refused to come down again. So Amy had ended up sitting in the kitchen, having her ear bent by Pete. The party had turned into a damp squib, and everyone else was leaving in dribs and drabs. She really ought to get Josh home.
‘Pete, I’m sure Saffron will see sense in the morning,’ said Amy. ‘Do you want me to try to go up there again?’
‘No, it’s all right,’ said Pete. ‘I should probably go and explain.’
‘And I should really go home,’ said Amy, getting up only to discover her legs didn’t work. She realised that she felt rather tipsy. Actually, more than that, she felt legless. Amy usually kept a lid on it as far as alcohol was concerned, as in the early days of her grieving she had discovered that too much wine would inevitably end in tears. But tonight, the stress of the evening had meant that she had been drinking rather a lot more than usual.
‘Would you like me to walk you home?’ Ben appeared solicitously at her side.
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