by Jana DeLeon
Ally shrugged. “It’s as good a reason as any.” She rose from the table. “I better get going. I just wanted to check in on you. Everyone’s talking about your run-in with Shorty yesterday, but I’m not foolish enough to think he got the better of you. I should really get on my laundry. Aunt Celia will expect me to attend the service with her tonight, and I don’t have a single pair of clean underwear to my name.”
“Go commando.”
Ally’s eyes widened. “It’s illegal to go into a church in Sinful without underwear.”
I sighed. “Of course it is.”
###
“You’re sure the house is empty?” Gertie peered out Marie’s front window.
“You’ve asked the same question ten times now,” Marie complained. “You watched the same thing I did. Paulette and that man Celia said is her cousin came out and drove away. If anyone else is in that house, I’m not aware that they were inside to begin with.”
“I just want to make sure,” Gertie said. “You don’t have to get pissy about it.”
“The only way we’re going to be sure,” I said, “is when we go in there and it’s empty. How long do these candlelight vigil things last?”
“It depends on how far off on a bunny trail Father Michael gets,” Marie said, “but usually about an hour.”
Marie’s cell phone rang and we all jumped. “It’s Ida Belle,” Marie said. “Again.”
“Give me that,” I said and answered. “You have to stop calling. We’re about to go in and we need this line clear. As soon as we know anything, we’ll call.”
I disconnected before Ida Belle could protest and handed the phone back to Marie.
Gertie shook her head. “Asking that woman to take a sideline seat is like asking Johnny Depp to stop being hot.”
“It’s for her own good,” I reminded Gertie. “The last place Ida Belle needs to be seen is across the street from Ted’s house. Why do you think I parked my Jeep around the corner?”
“I know, but try telling her that,” Gertie said.
“We need to get this show on the road.” I gave Gertie a hard look. “Be careful to put everything back exactly as you found it. We don’t want to give Paulette or her cousin any reason to suspect we were there.”
“Remember,” Marie said, “Babs said that Celia unlocked the patio door when she called on Paulette earlier. Unless she double-checked before leaving the house, you should be able to stroll right in. Babs said there’s no security system.”
I nodded. “I have my phone on vibrate. Do not leave this window. Don’t even blink. If you see anyone approach the house, send me a text.”
“Got it,” Marie said.
I pulled out two sets of plastic gloves and passed one to Gertie. “Let’s do this.”
Chapter Eleven
Gertie and I headed out the back door and skirted around the block, coming at Ted’s house from the back side. Marie had already identified the neighboring homes as Catholics, so unless they were being heathens, they should all be at the vigil.
“I wish it was completely dark,” I said.
“I don’t know,” Gertie said. “My night vision isn’t what it used to be.”
“All of your vision isn’t what it used to be. You just refuse to admit it.”
“My vision is perfectly fine. I don’t know why you and Ida Belle always have to harp—”
I heard a grunt and looked back to see Gertie and her perfectly fine vision slumped over the air-conditioning unit she’d just walked straight into. I shook my head. “Awful how those AC units just jump right out in front of you.”
“You distracted me by talking.”
“Then by all means, I’ll shut up before you walk right through a window and give us away.” I had my back to her, but I would have bet anything she gave me the bird.
When we reached the back of Ted’s house, we inched around the side to the front fence gate. I pulled the lever down and breathed a sigh of relief when it opened. A six-foot fence was no big obstacle for me, but Gertie and fences had a somewhat checkered past.
When the patio door slid open without a hitch, I wasn’t sure whether to be relieved again or worried. Investigating with Gertie and Ida Belle didn’t usually go this well. I was waiting for the other shoe to drop.
“Where do we start?” Gertie asked.
“Upstairs. Half of Sinful has traipsed through the downstairs today. Nothing incriminating would be on display. If that guy staying here is really her cousin then he’ll be in a guest room. See if you can find something on him. I’ll take the master bedroom.”
Gertie nodded and we crept upstairs. The first two rooms we came to were completely empty, which seemed odd given that they’d been living in Sinful for two years, but maybe they were the kind of people who weren’t attached to things. The next was a bathroom, then after that a guest room with a duffel bag in the middle of the bed. I waved Gertie in and continued down the hall to the last door, which must be the master bedroom.
I blanched when I looked inside. It was like a gold-and-red lamé fabric assault. A bed with giant posts stood in the center of the back wall, giant bolts of fabric draped from column to column. The same fabric hung over every window, covered every pillow and seat cushion, and was even draped over the dresser, the nightstands, and a makeup table.
I couldn’t imagine how anyone managed to sleep in this horror story. You’d need sunglasses for the glare alone.
I moved immediately to the nightstand on the right side of the bed, but all I found was lotion, gel packs for eyes, and sleeping pills. I checked the name on the bottle—Paulette Williams. Nothing of interest there.
I moved to the other side and found it even less revealing. A car magazine was the sole occupant. I frowned and moved to the dresser. The first drawer was clearly Paulette’s and I said a prayer of thanks that I was wearing gloves. Her underwear was even more garish than her bedroom decor, but despite what I’d seen in movies, nothing was hidden in the back of the panty drawer. None of the other drawers coughed up a clue either.
I checked the drawer on the makeup table, but only found one of everything from Walmart, then moved into the master bathroom, which was equally sterile. I muddled through the walk-in closet of boring tan slacks and polo shirts with equally opposite spandex and glitter, but came up empty. If Ted and Paulette had any secret vices, they weren’t hiding them in their bedroom.
I stepped out in the hall as Gertie walked out of the guest bathroom. “Anything?” I asked.
She shook her head. “The cousin must have his wallet on him, and the duffel bag didn’t have a luggage tag or anything.”
“Probably carry-on,” I said.
“Did you find anything in the master?”
“Aside from the most offensive decorating in the world, not a single thing seems out of the ordinary.”
“Well, shit.”
I nodded. “The other bedrooms were empty, so I guess we move downstairs.”
I could tell by Gertie’s expression that she was disappointed, and so was I. This entire escapade had been risky and was headed straight toward being a total bust. I had just reached the top of the stairs when I felt my phone vibrating in my pocket.
Alarmed, I yanked it out, hoping the message was from anyone but Marie.
Two people just went through fence gate. Too dark to see who.
“Marie saw two people go through the fence gate,” I said.
Gertie’s eyes widened. “Paulette and her cousin would use the front door.”
“I know. And it’s a little late for lawn work.”
“You locked the patio door behind us, right?”
As I nodded, I heard glass breaking downstairs. “I don’t think it mattered,” I whispered. “We have to hide.”
“Where?”
A damned good question. The two empty bedrooms didn’t provide anything in the way of cover and the other two bedrooms and baths were being used. Unless the others were breaking in to steal televisions, no doubt
they’d be upstairs to search the bedrooms.
“This way,” I said and hurried into one of the empty rooms. Maybe we’d luck out and find an exterior window with a nearby tree. We dashed into the bedroom, closing the door behind us. I made a quick check of the windows, but unless we wanted to make a twenty-foot drop straight onto a concrete patio, they weren’t a viable option. I could have made the drop, but no way would Gertie and her ancient bones be able to come out of it walking.
I heard footsteps on the stairs and grabbed Gertie’s arm and pulled her toward the closet. I was surprised to find it much larger than I’d expected, until Gertie turned on her cell phone flashlight and pointed to the back wall. In the dim light, I saw a doorknob, so I eased it open and found a narrow staircase.
Gertie peered around me and pointed up, indicating it was the staircase to the attic. I didn’t like the idea of moving us another floor higher from the ground, but we couldn’t exactly be picky. With any luck, the other guys would get whatever they were after and exit without checking the closet. And hopefully, leaving Gertie and me enough time to get out before Paulette and her cousin returned home.
As we crept up the narrow staircase, I said a silent prayer that nothing creaked. Old houses made noise, but people who broke into old houses tended to investigate noise, regardless. We made it up the stairs without incident and I pulled a penlight out of my pocket as we stepped into the attic so that we could get our bearings. The last thing we needed was to trip over something.
The attic was practically barren except for a makeshift desk in front of a dormer window. Unable to control my curiosity, I inched over to the desk to see if it contained anything of interest, Gertie close behind. When we reached the desk, I froze at the sound of two men speaking. I whirled around, looking behind us, but no one was standing there, nor did it sound like anyone was accessing the stairs. Gertie tugged on my sleeve and pointed to a grille near the floor and I nodded. The voices were coming up through the ventilation system from the second floor.
I motioned to the floor and eased myself down until I knelt in front of the vent. Maybe if we could overhear their conversation, we’d know who was in the house and why. Gertie inched down beside me until we both crouched there, silent and waiting for the voices to start up again.
“Those pictures have got to be here somewhere,” a man said.
We heard the sound of drawers banging and glass breaking, then another man said, “What if he has them on one of those smarty phones or something?”
“He showed us prints, remember? And even if they’re on one of them phones, the phone should be here unless they’re planning on burying him with it.”
“I hope they don’t do that. I really hate digging up graves.”
I looked over at Gertie, whose eyes widened. What the hell kind of people made digging up graves a regular habit?
“If we don’t find those pictures,” the first man said, “the only graves we’re going to be digging is our own.”
“Maybe the bitch has them. Maybe she’s going to start cashing in.”
“I can handle the bitch.”
“How’s that?”
“Same way someone handled Ted, which is what we should have done a long time ago. Check in the bathroom. I’m going to take a look in those empty rooms, then we’ll blow this joint.”
My cell phone buzzed again and I felt my heart drop when I read the text.
Paulette and cousin pulling into drive.
Crappity, crap, crap, crap!
I showed Gertie the text and the color rushed out of her face. I was just thinking things couldn’t get much worse when the universe proved me infinitely wrong.
“That bitch is pulling up out front!” the second man yelled.
I heard scuffling in the room below us and jumped up, scanning the room for a potential hiding place.
“There’s a staircase in this closet,” the first man yelled. “Get in here!”
No time left and no hiding place in sight, I jumped on top of the makeshift desk and opened the dormer window. The slope of the roof wasn’t as drastic as it extended away from the window, so I figured even Gertie would be able to manage it. How we were going to get down was a whole other story and one I didn’t even want to think about.
I waved at the window and gave Gertie huge props for climbing up on the desk and out the window without even a moment’s hesitation. As I stepped outside to follow her, a small wooden box on the corner of the desk caught my eye. I grabbed the box before stepping onto the roof, then closed the window behind me.
Gertie had scrambled up the roof to the right, and was crouching below some low-hanging tree branches. The branches perked me up a bit. If they were sturdy enough, we’d just found our way down. I shoved the box into my sports bra. It was the most restricting garment I had on besides my jeans and I didn’t figure I’d be using my breasts to shinny down the tree.
“What about those men?” Gertie whispered.
“What about them? I assume they’re hiding in the attic.”
“What if they kill Paulette and her cousin?”
Shit. I’d been so busy trying to escape that I hadn’t even thought about what might happen to Paulette and her cousin with those guys cornered in the attic. I reached up and pulled on the largest branch above us and decided it was strong enough to hold us.
“Start down,” I said. “And get back to Marie’s. I’ll take care of the rest.”
“But—”
“Go!” I hissed.
She grabbed hold of the branch and stepped off the side of the roof and into the tree. Now, as long as she didn’t fall on the way down, we were good. I waited until she was halfway down, then pulled out my cell phone and called Marie.
“We’re outside of the house and on our way back,” I said as soon as she answered. “The bad guys are in the attic. Call Carter and say you saw two people go through Paulette’s back fence a couple of minutes ago and then she drove up.”
“What—”
“I’ll explain later. Just do it.” I slipped the phone back in my pocket and hoped Marie followed instructions. Now I just had to get Gertie and me out of the tree and back across the road before Carter got there, and hope that the bad guys hadn’t gotten impatient and put a cap in Paulette and her cousin.
I shinnied down the tree with the skill of a panda, passing Gertie on my way. The limbs had been trimmed at the bottom to allow for walking space, so the lowest branch was still a good ten-foot drop. I jumped off of it and rolled as I hit the ground, then turned around to help Gertie.
Apparently, Gertie had forgotten her age or she’d decided to channel me because instead of hanging from the lower branch and dropping, as I thought she’d do, she barreled off the branch like I did, except she forgot the rolling part. Instead, she crashed right into me and we both went tumbling onto the lawn.
I saw Gertie’s eyes widen as her feet hit the ground and her hands flew up to cover her mouth. I bolted up and grabbed her by the shoulders, hauling her to her feet.
“My foot,” she whispered.
I realized she was only standing on one foot and began to panic. The only exit from the backyard was through the gate and if Marie had followed instructions, Carter would be pulling up there any minute. I reached under her arms and lifted her off the ground on the bad foot side, then hurried across the back lawn, half walking, half dragging Gertie.
When I got to the gate, I peered outside just as Carter’s truck pulled up to the curb. Panicked, I scooped Gertie up and over my shoulder and went running for the back fence. When I got there, I shoved her up at the top and left her dangling half over and I jumped up and over.
“This may hurt,” I whispered as I pulled her over the wooden boards and grabbed hold of her before she crashed into the turf again. Her feet had no sooner hit the ground than I hefted her over my shoulder again and skirted two houses down before running down the side of a house and checking the street.
Carter wasn’t in his truck and I could
n’t see him anywhere outside. I’d picked a good spot to cut through because the streetlights were too far apart and left a dark strip that ran directly across the road. I scanned the block one more time, then hauled it across the street as far as I could manage, only slowing when I rounded the backside of the houses on Marie’s block. My shoulders and legs were burning with the strain, so I put Gertie down and went back to the underarm method of walking/dragging until I got her into Marie’s house. Gertie managed to put some weight on her foot, so the going was a little easier.
Marie stifled a scream when we rushed in her back door, then almost passed out from relief when she realized it was us.
“What happened?” she asked as she saw Gertie limp to the kitchen table and slump into a chair.
“She fell,” I said, not about to go into the whole roof debacle right now. “Carter is sure to come over here. We need to hide.”
Marie shook her head. “It won’t do any good. He came down the block from the opposite direction of his house. He would have seen your Jeep parked around the corner.”
I looked down at my shirt, covered with grass stains from Gertie’s knees. “If he sees me like this, he’ll know something was up.”
“I’ll go grab you one of my shirts,” Marie said and took off down the hall but before she even got to the stairwell, her doorbell rang.
“Mrs. Chicoron. It’s Deputy LeBlanc.”
Chapter Twelve
Marie ran back into the kitchen and before I could even make a suggestion, she yanked an apron out of a drawer, held it to my waist, and told me to tie it. I was just securing the strings at my back when she put a cartoon of eggs and a bowl on the counter, and poured flour in the bowl.
Certain she’d lost her mind, I reached out to grab her arm and that’s when she hit me with a shot of water from the salad sprayer, then tossed a handful of flour on me. I coughed as the flour went up my nose and wiped my face with my hand, completely stunned and uncertain what action to take next.
“I’m teaching you to bake,” Marie said. “You’re not very good.” She pointed at Gertie. “Stay there where he can’t see that limp or your pants legs.”
