The point? Jake was the point. I couldn’t admit it even to Emily, but Jake was all I thought about. We messaged from the moment I woke up in the morning until I fell asleep at night. I slept with my phone now because it felt like having him near me.
Pathetic.
I wasn’t just into Jake. I’d become an addict. But Emily was right. It was time to take this to the next level.
I sent Jake a message. Do you want to chat later? As in a real chat? As in a phone call?
His response brought a smile to my lips. Hell, yeah. I’ve been dying to hear what your voice sounds like. Will I finally get my chance?
Yes. I hope you aren’t disappointed.
Why would I be disappointed?
I have this weird, squeaky voice. Kind of like Alvin and the Chipmunks.
I can’t wait.
After Emily left, I snuggled up in my bed and opened my laptop. My phone sat on the pillow next to me. I pulled up Jake’s Facebook page.
Dark eyes. Dark hair. Those perfect lips. Gah. He made me hot just looking at him.
I scrolled through his photos. Although I’d seen them a hundred times already, I couldn’t help myself.
Captain of the soccer team. Captain of the debate team. President of the National Honor Society. Yearbook editor. Student of the month.
Brains and beauty. Jake Hunter had it all. And I wasn’t the only one to notice. He had quite a few friends of the female persuasion, and they all seemed inclined to like and comment on every single thing he posted. Geesh. And some of them were gorgeous. Like model gorgeous. Why would he want boring, strange little Sophie Barnes when he could have someone who looked like she walked off the runway in Paris?
I shot a glance at myself in the mirror. Same old Sophie. Brown hair, brown eyes, a nose covered with freckles. What would someone like Jake see in a girl like me? Especially since he already knew Sam, my older, hotter, much sexier sister. Why was I doing this? It was a terrible idea. Gah.
The phone rang startling me. I picked it up, heart pounding, but I had to answer. I was the one who started this whole thing after all.
“Hello.”
“Sophie. At last. And I’m disappointed to say you don’t sound at all like a chipmunk.”
I smiled, leaning back on my pillow as I stared at his profile picture on my laptop. His voice was deeper than I’d expected, and sexier, too, but somehow so familiar. Like I’d heard it a million times before and recognized it instantly.
“Hey, Jake.”
“Did Emily finally leave?”
“Yep.”
“Was this her idea?”
I laughed. “Yes. She told me I was a chicken, and called you my fictional boyfriend. It was kind of payback for all the times I made fun of her about her obsession with Ron Weasley.”
My face reddened. Had I said too much? I mean we’d flirted via messages, but this felt different. A step closer to being real, I guess, but Jake handled it perfectly.
“Ron Weasley, huh? I always thought the older brother Bill was a better catch, the one who married Fleur. Or even Charlie. He worked with dragons in Romania. That’s pretty legit.”
“I agree. Although no one is as hot as a grown up Neville Longbottom.”
I heard the smile in his voice when he spoke. “I love it that you are a total Potterhead.”
“I love it that you are, too. Nerds united, right?”
“Always,” he said, and my heart squeezed in my chest, because he knew exactly what that word meant. It was what Snape had said when professing his undying love for Harry’s mother, Lily.
“Always,” I repeated, and curled up on my side. “I have an important question for you, Jake.”
“What?”
I blew out a breath. “If you had to choose one of the deathly hallows, which would it be?”
“Oh, that’s easy. The Resurrection Stone. The ability to bring someone you love back to life is pretty powerful, isn’t it? How about you?”
“Same. Although, I am tempted by the Invisibility Cloak. The idea of sneaking up on you is appealing.” We talked about nothing and everything, and I didn’t want the conversation to end. Ever. Finally, however, exhaustion overtook me and I let out a yawn. “I’d better get to sleep or I will fail the English midterm tomorrow, and that would be catastrophic. Goodnight, Jake.”
“Night, Sophie.”
Chapter 4
~Jake~
The hospital was my least favorite place in the world, but I forced myself to go. I did it mostly for my parents, as a way of showing my support, but I did it for another reason, too.
I didn’t have a Resurrection Stone. If Dylan died, I couldn’t bring him back, and I didn’t want to feel guilty for not visiting. Kind of selfish, huh? It had nothing to do with my poor brother, and a lot to do with me. Sad, but true.
I preferred to come alone. When my parents were around, I had to fake interactions with Dylan, and the worst feeling in the world is talking to someone who can’t answer. It was like visiting a cemetery and sitting next to the tombstone for a chat. Very one-sided. And Dylan was as close to a corpse as a person could get and yet still be breathing, or at least that’s how I felt about it.
None of my friends knew what was going on. They’d known the last time, and it changed the dynamics between us. Things had gotten weird. I mean I guess I could understand. Mental illness wasn’t one of the nice, socially acceptable diseases, was it? But I couldn’t deal with it again. They didn’t understand, and I was tired of trying to explain. The only person I could talk to was Sophie.
How does he look today? she asked.
I studied Dylan’s face. He’d lost more weight, and he slept most of the time now. If I didn’t know this was my brother, I might not have recognized him. Scary thought.
The same, I responded. Horrible.
I’m sorry, Jake.
Thanks.
There was a pause. Sam came home. She’s a mess. I overheard her talking with my mom about Dylan. She blames herself. My mom thinks she might need counseling.
I thought of the beautiful, vibrant girl who’d been at our house a few short weeks ago for my birthday weekend. When she was around, Dylan seemed happy. Normal. Nothing like the way he was now. How quickly things could change. I let out a sigh.
It’s not her fault. It’s not anyone’s fault. Dylan has been fighting this a long time. Will you tell her I said so?
Seconds ticked by. She doesn’t know I’ve been talking to you. I haven’t told her. I wasn’t sure how it would make her feel.
I rubbed my hands over me eyes, suddenly tired. Maybe it was being in this room with my sleeping brother. I wanted to curl up next to him, like I used to do when I was small, and I wanted to sleep, too.
I haven’t told my parents, either. Same reason, I said. But I’m going to tell Dylan. I want him to know.
She sent me a heart, following by a sad face emoji. I wish I could be there with you. I hate that you’re alone.
I wish you were here, too.
I shoved my phone into my pocket and stared at Dylan, clearing my throat. “Well, there’s something I have to tell you, bro. I think it’ll come as a surprise. You know Sam’s little sister, Sophie? I think I might be falling for her.”
Dylan, of course, said nothing. Instead, I tried to imagine what he might have said, if he could talk at the moment, and answer me back.
Are you crazy? He would ask.
“Nope. I’m not crazy.”
Have you even met her in person?
“Funny you should ask. No, I have not met her in person, but I plan to do so as soon as possible.”
You’re crazy.
I laughed. “Now that is the pot calling the kettle black.”
It takes one to know one.
I imagined Dylan laughing as he said it, too. It was kind of funny. I moved my chair closer to his bed and took his cold hand in mine. “I wanted you to be the first to know. About Sophie and me. I haven’t told Mom or Dad yet. I haven’t told any
one. Just you. Are you okay with this, Dylan? The last thing I want to do is hurt you in any way.”
His eyelids fluttered, and for a second, I thought he might open his eyes, give me his old familiar smile, and tell me I was an idiot, but it never happened. He lay there, cold, lifeless, and unmoving, and I sat there a long time, holding his hand. Finally, when it became too much for me, I stood up, put the chair back where it belonged and left, feeling angrier and more disappointed than I should.
I was going to stomp out of the room without saying goodbye, and refuse to come back until he agreed to open his eyes, damn it, and look it me, but I stopped at the door. I couldn’t do it. What if this was it? What if this was the last time I ever saw him alive?
I went back to the bed and flung myself across him, hugging his frail body and trying not to weep. “Bye, Dylan. See you tomorrow. That’s the day you’re going to wake up. Did you know? I heard the doctors talking. They said you’re going to wake up tomorrow, and you’ll be back to normal soon. I swear it. Believe me, Dylan. I’d never lie to you.”
I kissed his forehead, which felt clammy against my lips. He smelled like hospital, antiseptic and strange, but he smelled like something else, too.
Death.
My brother was dying from the inside out, and there was nothing I could do about it. No way I could help him. I was powerless, but at least I wasn’t alone. I had someone I could turn to now.
I kissed him once again, and left his room, pulling out my phone to call Sophie.
“Okay,” I said. “Tell me the top ten worst things about hospitals. Starting with number ten.”
“Easy,” she said. “The way your shoes squeak when you walk in the halls. Squeak, squeak, squeak. It’s tres annoying.”
I smiled, nodding to the nurses as I passed their station. “I love it when you speak French to me. It’s super hot.”
“Oh, la, la. Monsieur Jacques. Quiche Loraine. Crepes Suzette. Croissant.”
“And now you’re randomly listing foods. Are you hungry or something?”
“Starving. Which is number nine on the list about hospitals. The food. It’s disgusting. Why can’t hospitals have a decent cafeteria? I mean, really, is it so hard to heat up a frozen pizza?”
And, suddenly, because I was talking to Sophie, things were fine again. “I think I’ll grab a pizza on the way home. That sounds good, Soph. Thanks for the idea.”
“You bastard. Guess what I had to eat tonight?”
“Cauliflower.”
“Yes. Because my mom is a sadist.” She blew out a breath. “I told her about you, by the way.”
I paused by the front entrance of the hospital. “You did?”
“Yeah, and I thought I’d better warn you. Your mom and my mom are like BFFs now. They chat almost as much as we do.”
“Not possible,” I said with a laugh. “I have to tell you something, though. I told Dylan a few minutes ago, and he cannot keep a secret. Everyone will know by tomorrow.”
“What did you say?” she asked, her voice serious and sad, like she felt the pain behind my words and it hurt her, too.
“I told him the truth. I’m falling for a girl I’ve never met.”
“Honestly?” she asked.
“Yes.” I heard a noise and frowned. “Are you jumping on your bed?”
“Um, maybe.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m super happy.”
My lips twitched imagining it. “Don’t fall. You could get hurt.”
The bouncing stopped. “You’re right. We wouldn’t want anyone to get hurt.”
“No, we wouldn’t.”
“Hey, Awesome-sauce Jakey. Can we Skype tomorrow? I kind of want to see your face, and I think it’s time.”
“Is it?” I asked, as a sudden swell of joy surged through my chest. It was time. I wanted to see her face as she spoke, to look into her eyes. The whole idea was…amazing.
“Yeah. You already know I’m weird. We might as well go for it.”
“Okay. I’m in. You know I’m weird, too. But you do realize what the next step will be, don’t you?”
“No. What? Phone sex?”
I laughed so hard I snorted. “I was going to say we should meet in person, but your idea does have merit.”
“Maybe we can meet in person and have phone sex at the same time.”
“Hmmm. Interesting,” I said.
“Yeah, and unnecessarily complicated, too.”
“You might have a point. So, we’ll Skype for now?”
“One step at a time, baby.”
She said the word “baby” like Austin Powers, making me laugh again. “I’m going to drive home now, so I have to hang up. Skype you tomorrow?” I asked.
“It’s a date.”
Chapter 5
~Sophie~
It felt strange to lie to my sister, but I knew I should keep my relationship with Jake a secret from her, and my mother agreed. What happened with Dylan was too fresh, too raw, and too painful. It seemed cruel to bring up the happiness I’d found chatting with Jake, like a slap to the face.
She looks awful, I texted to Jake as I rode the bus to school. So thin and pale and sad. It’s hard to see her like this. I can’t even imagine what it’s like for you. A million times worse. A gazillion times worse. Gosh, I’m such a jerk. I shouldn’t even bring it up.
It was the last day before Thanksgiving vacation, and I couldn’t wait to have a few days off. Although I’d managed to do well on my midterms, my long nights spent chatting with Jake had taken their toll. I was exhausted.
Apples and oranges, said Jake. You can’t compare one person’s pain to another. Don’t feel bad because you’re worried about your sister. I’m worried about both of them. They’re hurting and it sucks.
“I love you, Jake Hunter,” I said softly, under my breath. I didn’t say it to him, though. It would have been super creepy and weird. And, although I was super creepy and weird, Jake didn’t have to know. Yet.
You’re a decent human being, Jay-bird. I sent a row of blue bird emojis to him. He responded with a GIF of a bird flying into a window. I guffawed, causing the kid in the seat across from me to give me a funny look. You’re catching on, young one. Soon you will master the gift of the GIF as well.
I have a great teacher. Thank you, sensei, he said, and I grinned. He always understood my sense of humor. I never had to explain.
So, are we still on tonight? For our Skype session? His question made my heart beat quicker in my chest.
I responded with his favorite phrase. Hell, yeah.
He sent me a smiley face. It’s a date.
The rest of the day passed in a blur. We had nothing to do in our classes, so we spent most of our time talking about what we were going to eat the next day for Thanksgiving. I ended up both bored and hungry all day, with only thoughts about Jake to occupy my mind. The more I pondered our upcoming Skype date, the more nervous I became.
“What are you going to wear?” asked Emily.
“I have no idea,” I said, panicking. “And he’s going to see me for the first time. Crap. I have nothing to wear. Oh, no.”
“Raid Sam’s closet,” she said. “She has lots of cool, college girl clothes. You want to look sexy. Show a lot of cleavage.”
I glanced at my chest. “I don’t have a lot of cleavage.”
“You need a padded bra. He’ll never know.”
I decided her advice about the bra was ridiculous, but she might have a point about raiding Sam’s closet. I needed something nice. Something special. Tonight was kind of a big deal.
When I got home, I knocked softly on the door to Sam’s room before stepping inside. She was curled up on her side, asleep, but she stirred when she heard me.
“Sophie? How was school?”
“Good.” I sat on the edge of her bed. “What did you do today?”
She laughed, putting an arm over her eyes to block out the pale November sun coming in through the window. “This,” she said. “Al
l day. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’m so tired.”
I patted her leg. “You’d better rest.”
Sam put her hand over mine. “Can we talk?”
I nodded. “Of course. What’s up?”
“There are some things I want to tell you,” she began, her face soft and sad. “I need to tell you. But I’m not sure where to start.”
It was like a dam burst inside her and words came rushing out. She explained to me about how, a few weeks ago, one of her best friends, Gabriela, had been raped by someone they knew. She told me about breaking up with Dylan, and about finding one of the pledges from her sorority, Emma, just in time. “She would have been raped, too. Like Gabs. It turns out one of Dylan’s fraternity brothers was like a serial rapist. It was terrifying, and it made me think of you. You have to be careful, Sophie. I was such an idiot my freshman year. I thought nothing bad could ever happened to me, but it can, and it does. And when I think about what I did to Dylan…”
Her voice trailed off. “What did you do to Dylan?” I asked, half scared of her answer.
“I didn’t love him,” she said, her eyes hollow and sad. “I got involved with him, but I didn’t think it through. I liked the attention, and I liked him, and I was incredibly selfish and immature and stupid. I never thought about how it would be for him. I never considered his feelings at all.”
“You didn’t do anything wrong, Sam.”
Her eyes filled with unshed tears. “Oh, yes, I did, Sophie. You have no idea. Promise you won’t be like me.”
“What do you mean?”
“Think twice before you jump into a relationship. There is nothing worse than being with someone you don’t want to be with and feeling stuck, or the pain you experience when you break someone’s heart. Trust me on this. I’d prefer to have my own heart broken a hundred times than to go through this again.”
“Okay.”
She rubbed her eyes. “Is there anything you wanted to talk about? I’m sorry. I monopolized the whole conversation. I guess I needed to get it off my chest.” She blew out a sigh. “Did you need something, sweetheart?”
Sophie and Jake (Passports and Promises) Page 2
