“Adam, you should see if you’re happy with it. You can change your mind now, if you like. But once I start… Well, it would be pretty silly to change your mind then. Now would be the time.”
Adam got up, with difficulty, and checked himself in the mirror, from every angle. Finally, he turned to Birdie.
“I’m ready,” he told her, and it was time to begin.
He was ready, this time.
Chapter 7
Adam couldn’t stop the grin from spreading across his face, even if he was sore everywhere. If that was not painful by Birdie’s standards, he really didn’t want to know what painful was.
But when you come home to find that your home has been taken over by people who love you and who will nag you half to death, you just had to grin.
He could see that his family was all waiting for him. He could see the cars.
Well, it was a day for celebration, he decided. After all, he had an idea that he thought his mother would really like, too.
When he walked in, he was smothered.
“Well, there’s our inked man!”
Adam rolled his eyes.
“Richard, you’ve been inked already.”
“I only have a little dove. You’re doing a lot more. You’d barely notice mine next to yours,” protested Richard.
Adam had to admit that that was true.
“Did mom bring food?”
Adam hoped not. His mother’s cooking was horrible, while his grandmother’s cooking was incredible. Not that he would ever tell his mother that, of course. He valued his life.
“But of course she did,” said Richard with an evil grin.
Adam shrugged in resignation.
“Is Dad here?”
“No, he had work,” said Richard, and Adam knew that it was another sign of the distance between them. Suddenly weary, he wondered if presenting his father with a grandchild was what it would take to bridge that gap.
As he found himself surrounded by family, his mood lifted again. He sat back and watched as Richard was interrogated by his grandmother. Family – maybe one of his own would not be such a high price to pay.
“I despair of having a grandchild, Richard. You were dating that nice girl two months ago. What happened with that?”
Richard shifted uncomfortably.
“We broke up, nana.”
She shook her head sorrowfully.
“In my day, such things didn’t happen.”
Adam snorted.
“Right, and you’re going to tell us that gramps was your first love, ever.”
Her eyes twinkled.
“As far as you’re concerned, yes. You remind me so much of him, Adam. He needed a firm hand to keep him out of trouble, too. What you need is a good woman, a family. You will soon find something more to do than just work. Oh, I saw you checking your email and whatever else about twenty times already, young man. You need to understand what’s important in life.”
Adam sighed as his mother came and sat next to his nana. Worse, she shoved at him a plate of food that looked so bland that his hunger disappeared.
“Does Adam have a girlfriend? Is it serious?”
The eagerness in her face was beginning to hurt him. They really thought that the right woman could turn everything around in his life.
“I need some air,” said Adam and he made his escape, leaving Richard there as a sacrificial lamb.
Adam walked to the balcony and stood there, looking out over the bleeding colors of the setting sun.
He felt unsettled.
Adam searched within himself and realized, to his shock, why he felt that way. For once, he was beginning to see his mom’s point, and his grandmother’s. Even his father’s, no matter how tactlessly it was delivered.
The reason was simple, he realized. The reason was Birdie Campbell.
She had already changed so much about him. She had opened him in ways he had never had any intention of being.
He had talked to her about the scars, the accident, even about how the scars made him feel. Even better, she had understood without needing him to explain every detail, and she had given him peace. Adam was beginning to realize just how much he craved peace, and freedom from nightmares.
With a jolt, he realized that he hadn’t had a nightmare since the first time he’d met Birdie.
Then, of course, there was the fact that she was so different from anybody he had dated. She had substance. She had her own unique style.
And boy, she had knocked his socks off when she’d kissed him. All right, he amended, when he had kissed her.
There was something about her. He was more drawn to her than he had been to any other woman he had dated. He felt comfortable with her, as if he didn’t have to put on any kind of mask.
Plus, she liked him. He knew that. It was sweet, how she got so flustered when he smiled. She’d once mumbled something about his dimple.
He’d never really liked it all that much. It made him look cute, when every boy dreams of looking ruggedly handsome.
But it did seem to do interesting things to Birdie.
He was going to take her out again the next day. His family wanted him to get married. Birdie would get along well with his mother and his grandmother. That was very important to Adam.
Perhaps it was a rather cold and calculated way of choosing a woman. But he had seen so many quick weddings and even quicker divorces among his friends. So many bad decisions, so many regrets. Perhaps this was how something this important was always meant to be decided.
He liked her, he justified to himself. He was dating her. What was the point of opening himself up to her, trying things out, and then giving up on it all? He knew she was different. He liked that. He wanted that.
Maybe he would make his family happy.
He felt Richard’s presence before he heard him.
“You left me there,” accused Richard.
Adam grinned.
“If I do what I’m contemplating, you’ll have to admit that I’ve made up for it.”
Richard stood beside him and took a long pull of his beer.
“What are you contemplating?”
Adam glanced at Richard before looking back at the sunset.
“I’m contemplating asking Birdie Campbell to marry me.”
Richard spat out the beer that was in his mouth and started coughing. Adam thumped him on the back nonchalantly, as if he’d just told him that he was going to get a massage.
“What did you say? What?”
“I’m thinking of asking Birdie Campbell to marry me. You remember her. The tattoo girl.”
“I know who Birdie is!” said Richard.
Adam turned to him now. “How do you know her?”
His voice was whip sharp. Anybody except Richard would’ve backed away.
“I know Marley. He’s the one who did my tattoo. Remember? Your brain is addled, big brother. Are you smitten by Birdie?”
Adam relaxed and turned away again.
“I don’t know about smitten. I’m past such childish concepts, Richard. We’ve seen what comes of hasty weddings driven by love, or whatever masquerades as love. We’ve seen what happens with our own eyes.”
Richard was silent. He didn’t remember nearly as much as Adam did, but he knew that their mother had left their father because he’d cheated on her, multiple times. She had done everything she could to keep the knowledge from her boys, but they had known. Children always know a lot more than adults like to think.
“Adam, mom would be heartbroken if she thought you felt like that, really.”
Adam shrugged.
“Mom doesn’t have to know. Anyway, I do like Birdie. We went out once. I can talk to her. She understands so much more than the tittering twits that I find myself surrounded by far too often. She has substance and integrity. And I make her stammer.”
Richard chuckled.
“Birdie, stammer? I only met her once, for about a minute, but she seemed frighteningly self-possessed.
But I saw her dealing with a fairly jittery client who’d been through some real shit. She’s compassionate. And then there’s that booty, of course. And those legs. She’s hot.”
Adam was surprised at the urge to knock his little brother’s teeth out with a solid uppercut. He swallowed the urge. He had just declared his intention not to be ruled by passion or impulses. Punching his brother’s lights out was not a good way to start that.
“She likes me. I admire her. We’re going out again tomorrow night. I could spend my life with her, and she’ll be a wonderful mother. I doubt she’ll ever bore me or disappoint me. What more could a man ask in a wife?”
Richard was silent for a while.
“Love, I suppose, Adam. Don’t you think Birdie will expect love?”
Adam shrugged.
“I can give her affection, respect and desire. Who could tell the difference? That’s all love is, really. I can give her a commitment, my word, my name. That’s the best anybody could hope for, isn’t it?”
Richard was uneasy. Adam could tell, by the way he fidgeted.
“It just seems to cold.”
Adam shrugged again.
“All decisions that involve commitment are made with cold calculation. Anybody who claims otherwise is fooling themselves and others. I plan to make my marriage work, Richard. I’m not jumping into it without consideration.”
Richard found that he didn’t have anything to say to that. But from what he could remember of what Marley had told him, he had a feeling that Adam was going to be in for a shock when he outlined his plan to Birdie.
Unless, he corrected himself, Birdie was in love with Adam. If that was the case, he couldn’t help but feel sorry for Birdie.
*****
Birdie stood in front of her closet and wished, for once, that she had more to choose from. She had never cared about clothes, not really. She’d always loved making her own style statements from whatever she had on hand.
But a date with Adam Simpson, a real date – that required real date clothes. Birdie wasn’t sure what she was supposed to do.
She tried to settle her stomach and her heart, but she couldn’t quite do it. She knew why. Marley had hurt her.
In some way, she had hurt Marley, too, but she didn’t understand how. Marley hated the thought of her dating Adam. She’d protested that it wasn’t even like they were dating. One almost-date and one date – that doesn’t mean you’re dating. That just meant that you’re possibly considering the idea of dating.
But Marley had warned her, in strong terms. He had pointed out that Adam had a reputation for dating and discarding girls. He had pointed out that Adam came from a different world altogether. He wasn’t right for Birdie.
Birdie tried to shut out his words, but she could hear them ringing in her head, still.
He’ll just use you, Birdie. He’ll use you and leave you hurt. I’ll have to pick up the pieces and hold you together. How much do you think that will hurt me?
That had been cheap manipulation, thought Birdie, angrily. He had no right to use her feelings for him, which were undeniable, to keep her from dating somebody else. Marley had no right to do that.
Marley had even hinted that he knew more than Birdie did. That’s when Birdie had lost her temper.
She had never had any patience for subterfuge or games. She didn’t want to play games with Marley. She would date whomever she pleased, and if Marley had any compelling reason to stop her, he’d better come up with the reasons instead of making oblique references and dropping silly hints.
Birdie tried to put it out of her mind. For once, she wished she hadn’t said anything to Marley. For once, she wished she had kept a secret from him.
She didn’t like that, either.
Determined not to let Marley’s tantrum ruin her evening, she picked her nicest dress, and one she had never worn before. She didn’t really know why she’d bought it. She had known she would probably never wear it.
It was an ivory sheath with a plunging back, and it was cut so simply that it made her look incredible. Birdie set to work getting her face done.
Red lipstick and dark eyes, decided Birdie as she got to work. When she was done, she looked herself up and down, and decided that she’d done a good enough job.
Sighing, she slipped on her heels, and found a wrap. The dress wouldn’t go with either of the two light coats she had.
Maybe she should pay more attention to clothes, thought Birdie, but it was a fleeting thought.
By the time Adam called, she was ready and looking out the window. She saw him drive up and couldn’t help how her heart leapt a little bit and started beating just a bit faster.
She ran down, and realized that she was getting quite smitten. Adam was making her feel things she had never felt before.
Birdie decided she didn’t mind that as she walked to him.
He held flowers.
She couldn’t remember the last time a date had brought her flowers.
“For you,” he said, and held out the bouquet of wildly colorful flowers.
“They’re beautiful,” she whispered and buried her nose in them. “I’m glad you didn’t get roses.”
Adam smiled. “I didn’t think you wanted roses. Your tattoos are wild flowers.”
Birdie smiled in pleasure. She hadn’t realized that he had even noticed.
“They are. I’m glad you got me wild flowers. Well, as wild as they get in the city,” she amended. “Now I need to go up and put them in water,” fretted Birdie.
“No, you don’t. I’ve got a vase and water in here. It’ll last the evening.”
Birdie smiled and nodded. She didn’t want to go back up. She wanted to go on her date.
She sat in the Corvette and admired it. “Is this the only car you’ve got?”
Adam raised an eyebrow. “Don’t you think it’s enough?”
Birdie laughed. “I thought you might have another with better fuel economy for daily driving. This one is a gas guzzler.”
The cold fist that had begun to grip Adam’s heart loosened. For a moment, he’d let himself wonder if Birdie was just like the others, after all. But of course she wasn’t. It was unworthy of him to even have thought that.
“I do. But I wanted to impress you.”
“You’ve done that with yourself, Adam. You don’t need cars for that, though I do appreciate it.”
Conversation fell easily to Birdie’s tattoos as they drove to the posh side of town. Birdie found herself extremely glad that she’d dressed up as he took her hand and walked up to a snooty looking maître d’. The snooty look was wiped off his face when he saw Adam.
“Mr. Simpson, do you have a reservation?”
Adam gave him a long look. “Do I need one?”
“No, of course not. I beg your pardon. Please, come with me.”
He fawned over Adam as they were settled at a private corner table. He brought the wine list.
Birdie sat back and decided to enjoy the spectacle as Adam chose the wine and starters. Birdie waved, indicating that he could order for her. She didn’t know what to order, anyway.
When they were alone, she leaned towards Adam.
“So, you don’t need a reservation? Here? I’d expect royalty to need reservation here.”
Adam grinned. “I own stake in the company that owns this restaurant, which royalty doesn’t.”
Birdie chuckled, trying not to be intimidated by the knowledge that Marley was right about something, at least. Adam was from a world that was vastly different from theirs.
“You look lovely,” said Adam, softly, and Birdie’s lips parted.
“Thank you. So do you,” she replied, and she meant it.
Adam grinned. “Lovely? I was going for ruggedly handsome.”
“The way you’re ruggedly handsome is very lovely,” declared Birdie, making him laugh.
“Fine, then, you’re ruggedly handsome.”
Birdie grinned. “I don’t mind that. It’s been a lifelong dre
am of mine to be ruggedly handsome.”
By the time they got to the main course, Birdie had forgotten all her nerves and her shyness. Adam was easy to be with. It was easier now, to not be distracted by that dimple, by those intense eyes, by that beautiful smile.
She was still distracted and she still noticed all of them, but at least she could also have a conversation. But the effort affected her usually impeccable skills at deflection. The conversation wound around to her.
“How did you get started tattooing?”
Birdie wondered if she should tell him the whole truth, and then wondered, why not? She wasn’t ashamed of her past. She had no reason to be ashamed.
Birdie wanted to be honest with him. No subterfuge, she reminded herself.
“It’s a long story,” she warned.
“We’ve got time,” said Adam.
“All right, then. I never really knew my parents. I have a few vague memories of my mother, but my father… Nothing. I know absolutely nothing. My grandmother brought me up. If I had more relatives, more family, I never knew it. I always wanted a large family, really. But my grandmother, she was incredible. She worked three jobs, trying to make sure that I got an education. But I didn’t cooperate. You don’t understand how lucky you are to have somebody who cares when you’re so young.”
Birdie was back in that little apartment where she had been rebellious and rude to her grandmother. Where she had refused to learn.
Adam was quiet. Now he knew why he was so drawn to Birdie. It was her substance.
“What I didn’t know was that my grandmother was working herself to death. We could pay the bills. When she finally went to a hospital, we couldn’t afford anything. It looked like we were going to be homeless. Things were pretty desperate. I was just finishing high school. It looked like I might not be able to. And then… Well, it was too much. My grandmother passed away.”
Adam leaned forward and she felt his hand covering hers. She felt the warmth and strength from it, and didn’t notice that her eyes had filled with tears.
“I was old enough to take care of myself. Maybe I could’ve stayed in school and gotten myself a part-time job. But I couldn’t make rent, and I was still not an adult, so social services was a problem for me. So, I just packed up what I could and left, in the middle of the night. I don’t know if they buried my grandmother or cremated her. I hope they cremated her. I left. I’ll never live down the shame of that.”
Be My Everything (Brothers From Money Book 11) Page 22
