When Tori was broken and damaged, he hunted her down, found her in the VA hospital and brought her to his home. She wasn’t in good shape at the time. Losing a good chunk of weight, she’d whittled away and wasn’t exactly looking terrific. Her skin was pale, her hair began falling out and her eyes were dead.
He fed her soup that he made himself. Whatever she wanted, he made it appear, just to help her regain her body weight and strength. Julian constantly stayed in bed with her to scare away the nightmares that still chased her. Never leaving her side for a minute, he’d healed a broken woman.
For that alone she did owe him.
Julian saved her and nursed her back to health. It was hard to be angry with a man that put his life on hold to help save her. Then there was the simple fact that he’d been damaged too, and no one cared to fix him.
Until now.
Tori swung her legs out of bed and finished reading the messages. The cracks in the anger were growing and the tiny seeds of forgiveness were sprouting. She was still mad as hell, but Tori was almost to the point of taking the higher road. It was going to be hard to stay mad at him, when all she wanted was to be held by him and safely in his arms.
Hoping into the shower, Tori thought more about Julian, praying he was holding up. Today at some point, they’d fix the mess and work through it. Tori refused to be like her mother, running from the problems in a relationship and abandoning everyone in her anger.
Yeah, she was willing to meet him halfway. Tori spent too much of her life locked in the past, and what she needed was to move forward; but first Julian needed to understand what he’d done was inappropriate, cruel and mean.
She loved him and wanted him back.
Down at the breakfast table, the three Agents were eating and having coffee. Callen had once again wanted to make Elizabeth oatmeal, but they ran out. Today he’d head to the store to stock up their supplies, so he went with his standby; toast. It was the only other breakfast food he could decently manage.
When Tori walked into the kitchen, she already looked vastly better than the night before.
“Toast?” he offered, standing at the counter.
She smiled. “No thank you, coffee is my breakfast of champions.”
Callen poured her a mug and handed it to her, and then he took his seat beside Elizabeth. Automatically, his hand went to her belly and stroked it lovingly.
Tori began laughing.
Elizabeth looked up from her paper and lifted a brow. “Something funny in that coffee mug, Darlin’?”
“I’m pissed I’m not back at FBI West. I so want in on this baby pool,” she stated, sipping her coffee. “I want to screw with them all desperately.”
The three of them laughed, recognizing the same wicked streak that Elizabeth had herself. One of the constants at FBI West was they tended to run a betting pool on pretty much everything that intrigued them.
Ethan’s hand went to her belly now too and both men enjoyed the feeling of the baby moving beneath her skin.
“Here’s my question,” started Elizabeth, leaning forward. “If you didn't know which man was the baby daddy, who would you have picked?”
Tori thought about it. “That’s hard. I have a few rationales on that one.”
She was intrigued. “Spill it, I want to hear them.”
Taking a sip of her coffee, Tori prepared to lay it out. “Okay, at first I thought that you’d go with the same father for all the children, only because of being logical. They’d all be full blood siblings, in case there was ever a medical emergency.”
Ethan laughed. Had they not been surprised and planned the pregnancy that would have been his plan.
“But then if you look at matters of the heart, you’d want to make each man equally part of the family. Having all your children with Ethan would mean ostracizing Callen.”
That would have been the route Whitefox would have taken, equally sharing the children between them. Plus he was desperate to have a child of his own. It was paramount to him as a man.
“Then there would be the craziness and total chaos of just allowing nature to decide.”
Elizabeth grinned. Why dictate fate when you could just as easily ride the bus and sit back and relax.
“So, who won on this one?” she asked, pointing to each one in the unit. “Logic, fairness or chaos?”
Neither man spoke.
“We can tell her,” stated Elizabeth. “After the shit went down in Cypress Grove, not a soul heard about the fight in the swamp. I trust her,” Elizabeth paused, “Besides, girlfriend code strictly prohibits it. I won out on the baby making. Little EJ wasn’t planned.”
She grinned, not surprised in the least. “What is this girlfriend code you speak of?” Tori inquired, lifting her brow. “I was in the Army, we had codes out the wazoo, but I’m unfamiliar with this one.”
Blackhawk laughed. “It’s a made up way to make men hurt and suffer for just about anything they do to their wives. You two become friends, and Callen, Julian and I suffer.”
Elizabeth snickered. “Amen. It’s the strictest code among women. Once you make the vow, you can’t ever break it.” She had once offered it out to Callen’s ex and that was an unmitigated disaster.
Tori contemplated it. “So, I accept this code thingy and that means you and I get to torture the men in our lives with it.”
She shrugged. “It also means you have a friend to lean on and trust with all your pain, secrets and problems.”
It would be nice to have someone to trust and love.
Elizabeth timed it just right. “Oh and I tell you all about the sex I’m having and you reciprocate.”
Blackhawk began choking on his coffee and Callen thumped him on his back. “See?”
Tori started laughing. “Sign me up. I’ll take on the girlfriend code just for that little part alone. Julian would be mortified,” she said, and then the joy was gone and the hurt came back.
“Hey,” Elizabeth leaned forward. “It’ll work out. I’d bet my momma belt buckle on it. And this is my favorite damn one.”
The agent nodded. “I hope you’re right.”
“My suggestion is to ride today out and observe the man in question. I’m betting he’s going to follow you around and be willing to do anything to fix what he broke. Men are jackwagons, but they tend to get it.”
“Hey!” Callen objected.
Blackhawk simply sipped his coffee. “You realize the jackwagons are in the room, right?”
Both women started laughing.
“I’ll bet you fix it by the end of the day,” Elizabeth offered. “I can tell already you’re ready to work on it. You got past the mad, now you’re in the pity phase.”
“Pity phase?”
Blackhawk finished for his wife. “Yeah, you have pity for the idiotic men and the stupid things we do.”
Elizabeth patted his cheek. “I wouldn’t call it pity, Cowboy. It’s more like mercy.”
Callen shook his head, changing the subject. “What’s on our agenda? I imagine we have a date with the lab.”
“Yeah, tox is in, as is DNA. Chris sent me the text a while ago. The team was working late last night, dealing with the new victim. We also need to start focusing on the feather angle. I need to know the species. If those are Eagle feathers, you just can’t go to the local craft store and pick them up.”
“True,” confirmed Blackhawk.
Tori looked confused.
Callen cleared it up for her. “Eagles are protected, even though they’re not endangered species anymore. You need to be a licensed handler to get the feathers. You have to prove that you’re not harming the birds. Mostly they’re collected from abandoned nests, or the ground. If you get caught harming an eagle, you’re in deep shit. You can do jail time.”
Elizabeth nodded. “Most of the laws govern the bird, nest, and eggs but the feathers can be included if it’s proved they were on the Eagle at the time. You just can’t trap them and pluck them. It’s a big no-no.”
“Tribal la
w allows some Natives to collect the feathers, but you have to be permitted to do it. Once we find out the species of bird, we can track the permits in this area and go from there,” Ethan added.
Tori nodded. “Well, it should be easy to find someone who has a lot of them. It can’t be that common to own them.”
Callen shrugged. “I have about ten of them personally. I earned them as a young man, hunting.”
Blackhawk grinned. “I have a few more than Callen, but I stole mine.”
Elizabeth started choking, when she laughed and swallowed at the same time.
When Callen hit her on the back he gave his brother a look. “Can you not kill her while she’s growing my child? I kind of need her the next four months.”
He took an elbow to the ribs when the men started laughing. “You two are real damn funny. I guess you both forgot how evil I can be. I see we need a refresher on it and soon.” Elizabeth glanced back and forth between them. “And stop telling people you were the ‘Kings of Larceny’. We know it, but the world needs to stay oblivious.”
Ethan gave his brother a fist bump. “For the record, I earned all my feathers. They’re supposed to be displayed and not locked away, but I have them in their own box. I don’t have enough for a warbonnet. Granddad worked a long time to get his.”
Callen grinned. “Mine are in a box too. The last time they were out we wore them in a ceremony.”
Elizabeth began thinking about both men partially naked, wearing war paint and the feathers. The flush crept up her neck as the heat filled her body.
The Natives in the room found it funny and laughed, knowing what she was fantasizing about. Elizabeth tended to have a dirty mind, especially while pregnant. It was pretty much a sex fest in her brain.
“Okay, so then the feathers shouldn’t be hard to track.”
Elizabeth regained focus. “We hope.”
“We have two notifies today. Someone has to go back out to the Sumner farm and to Hopper house to tell the family.”
Ethan and Callen immediately started Rock Paper scissors. Neither one wanted to do the notify. That was the worst job for either of them.
Callen won.
“Damn it!” Blackhawk muttered. “I hate notifies.”
Elizabeth snickered. “I like how you both think you had an option in going. You’re both on Notify duty. Nice try though.”
“Shit,” muttered Callen. “I’m going to have the Hopper sister climbing all over me again. She was a bit too handsy for a woman in mourning.”
Tori laughed. “I’ll take family visits if you want. I don’t mind doing them.”
Elizabeth contemplated it. “The only problem with that is whoever does the notify, also needs to head to Sheriff Dickhead, I mean Duffy’s office. He needs to be informed and is most likely going to want to join you. I noticed there are signs all over town with his name on it, and I’m guessing it’s an election year.”
The man didn’t really bother her. “I’m not worried about him. He’s a lecherous asshole and nothing more. If he puts his hands on me, I’ll break them.”
Elizabeth wiped a mock tear. “I think I’m in love.”
Tori snickered. “I’ll go get my gun and badge. Then I’ll be ready to head into work.”
The three waited until she was gone. When she was out of earshot, Blackhawk spoke. “Julian’s going to have to go with her, and we both know Duffy’s going to be an issue.”
Elizabeth nodded. “I’m aware, but this is work boys, and personal life has to come second in the field. You know that. One of you pull him aside and scare the shit out of him,” she said, pointing at Ethan. “Tell him if he acts like a Jackwagon, he won’t get Tori back. That should do it.”
“You’re evil. Do you use this woman manipulation on us when we’re not aware?” questioned Callen.
“Pretty much every day.”
* * *
It wasn’t a good day at all. Julian was barely able to roll out of bed. His head was pounding from the booze and his chest was on fire. It honestly felt like someone kicked the shit out of him. When he opened his eyes, he prayed the previous day had been nothing more than a bad dream. Yet, when he looked around, Tori was gone and reality came crashing back. Her side of the bed was ice cold, and so was his heart.
The memories of his stupidity came flooding back to him, and he wanted desperately to just slide back into sleep and hide. Then he remembered what his brother suggested; follow his woman around as much as possible.
Between Justin’s words, the screaming alarm, pounding headache and burning chest, he knew today was going to be a disaster. Climbing out of bed, he stumbled into the bathroom to the medicine cabinet. Digging out a bottle of aspirin, he popped three and prayed for divine intervention.
Staring back at him in the mirror was one hell of a hot mess.
Great!
Today wasn’t only going to blow, but everyone was going to know he was a bomb waiting to go off. Julian stood in the shower, gently washing the tattoo he’d gotten across the front of his chest. After eight beers, it seemed like a really good idea. Now it just hurt like a bitch.
When he saw his brother, he was a dead man. Then again, what had he expected? Justin tended to be the out of control brother and when he went off the deep end, Julian was generally dragged with him.
When the shower was done, he smeared some cream his brother handed him over the entire tattoo and layered up shirts, so it wouldn’t ooze through his polo.
“What the hell was I thinking?” he muttered, grabbing his sunglasses and riding jacket. If he was going to suffer all day, he might as well enjoy being out on his motorcycle. Maybe it would cheer him up.
Rolling it out of his garage, he sat there for a moment staring at Tori’s bike. The pain rushed through him. They’d yet to ride together, since the weather was just breaking, and now it sat there as a reminder of what he’d just lost.
He’d thrown away the only good thing in his life.
How was he supposed to move on?
“I’m an asshole,” he muttered again, closing the garage and locking it. Starting up the bike, he pulled out of his driveway and headed to the police station.
Today began his penance.
He was going to have to stand beside a woman he loved, knowing she’d began the process of moving on without him. Gone were the rights to touch her, kiss her, and love her, all because he allowed anger to fester inside of him.
All logic had left as he threw away trust and faith to appease the jealous beast he’d allowed back into his heart.
It occurred to Julian that he was dead wrong.
He wasn’t a hot mess. His entire life was.
* * *
Pulling into the parking lot at the same time as the Denali, Julian watched Tori hop out and stand beside Elizabeth. He was grateful his eyes were hidden behind his shades. They gave him a little iota of protection from the woman that he’s pushed away and out of his life.
His heart skipped a beat, as the wind blew her red hair around. As if she knew what he was thinking, Tori pulled it back, restraining it in a ponytail.
Life came rushing back into him, just from seeing her. Dropping his riding jacket over the seat, he walked towards his bosses.
“Hey Julian, Good to see you,” stated Blackhawk.
“Thanks,” he muttered.
Ethan was amused. “You’re right on time.”
“Yep.”
Elizabeth didn’t even look at the man. If she did, she’d laugh. He looked like hell, and although she felt bad for him, he deserved it. “I’ll meet you three down in autopsy. Tori and I are heading there now,” she stated, walking away with the woman.
“Can we talk to you?” Ethan asked, not moving.
“Yeah.” Julian kept it to one word answers or he may puke, and it had nothing to do with the raging hangover.
Both men moved closer, lowering their voices.
“Are you going to be able to pull this off today? You look like shit,” stated Etha
n, pulling no punches.
Callen went next. “You’re hung over aren’t you?”
“Yep.”
“How bad are you?” Blackhawk asked, knowing they couldn’t send him out riding a beer high.
“I have a bitch of a headache.”
Blackhawk looked at his brother, putting his wife’s plan into action. “Go home. You can’t do this today.”
He pulled off his sunglasses, the words of his brother bouncing around in his brain. He needed to be near her all day, ensuring she wouldn’t forget him. “I can handle it.”
Both men looked doubtful.
“Ever screw up so bad that if you didn’t fix it fast, you just knew it was going to be ruined forever?” he asked, softly.
“Hell yeah,” answered Callen. “All the time.”
“We’re men, Julian. We screw up with women. It’s some fault in our DNA. Get used to it.”
He shook his head. “I crossed a big line, and I need to fix this. If you send me home, I won’t get her back.”
Ethan spoke next. “Here’s the deal. You want Tori back in the worst way, so don’t act like an asshole today. If she sees you being a jackwagon, you have zero chance of redemption. Take it from us, we’ve been run through the woman wringer.”
Callen laughed. “We’re married to Elizabeth. She’s the mother of all reapers when it comes to men’s balls. Listen to us and maybe you’ll survive.”
“Don’t lose your cool, stay calm and for Christ’s sake, look apologetic,” Ethan added.
Julian took a deep breath. “Okay, I can do this.”
Blackhawk patted him on the shoulder. “Go in and get some coffee and meet us downstairs. Today’s going to feel like the longest day of your life.”
“Thanks,” he said, walking away.
Callen looked over at his brother. “I can’t believe that worked. Elizabeth is maniacal.”
He started laughing.
“I’m starting to believe she’s been in charge since the first day I met her. We’re nothing more than puppets,” Callen added, grinning.
“Hell yeah, but think about the sex.”
Darkness Of Truth (An FBI/Romance Thriller~ Book 6) Page 22
