by Shyla Colt
impenetrable. Everyone had their own experience with exploitation. But not to this degree.
* * * *
Gia swiped the back of her hand. Fuck. She never meant to run off at the mouth. Once she’d started talking, she couldn’t stop. Too many years of hiding turned her into a dam with a massive crack. Once the trickle of water got into the crevice, she was done for. The look of horror and shock in his eyes would be etched into her mind forever. She rubbed her gurgling stomach and rested her head against the side of the sink.
After all this time, she could feel those feelings of unworthiness and dirtiness creeping up inside of her and spreading like a thick black tar coating her insides. Her first instinct was to take a scalding hot shower, but she knew it would never rinse off the stain. No amount of scrubbing her skin had ever made her feel clean again.
Forcing her body to a standing position, she flushed the toilet and rinsed out her mouth. She always kept money in an offshore account under an alias for emergencies. She could live off of it comfortably for a while, if need be. What am I doing? Isn’t this why I aligned myself with bikers? In case this moment ever happened? If I run now, will I ever be able to stop?
Foresight didn’t mean shit right now. The thought of facing her past terrified her. Maybe I’m not a strong as I thought. She dropped her head, ashamed. It’d taken her years to even think about escaping and longer afterward to gather the courage to do it. If it wasn’t for Taffy, I might still be in that hell. The thought of her fallen friend energized her. I owe her this. The thought sobered her hysteria. She met her gaze in the mirror and balled her fists. All the years she’d spent hiding while others suffered and she did nothing. Now, it was her time to make a difference. She couldn’t shut down the entire skin trade…but just maybe, she could topple one.
Clinging to the kernel of bravery planted in her chest, she smoothed out her clothing and
walked out of the bathroom with her mask firmly in place. She learned early on to never let people see inside you to the torment playing on a loop. People used weakness to their own
advantage, and things always went smoother when you almost convinced yourself you were past caring.
Lefty rose from the bed and eyed her cautiously.
“Let’s pretend that last conversation never happened.”
“The fuck, Gia! You know that’s not possible.” His eyes bulged in an almost comical
manner.
Whatever his faults, the man did care about her. She’d never seen him so riled up before. He tended to keep things light and casual, which was why his pursuit of her had come out of left field. The little girl with dreams of happily-ever-after who existed buried deep beneath her bramble-infested soul wanted to tell him yes. But she knew better. Lefty had a charismatic, easygoing personality that would consume her. Suck her deep into his world and have her baring her soul. She’d already said too much. “Well, try.”
“No, you don’t get to turn into the ice princess after that shit.” Lefty shook his head.
“This isn’t Frozen, I don’t need thawing.”
“No, bitch, you need your ass whopped and some sense talked into you.”
“You were right before, I was panicked and my thinking was clouded by a number of things.
Running wouldn’t be wise.”
“Are you fucking kidding me right now?” His muscles seemed to swell and a vein in his
neck throbbed.
His roar made her wince. “What do you want me to say?” She shrugged, scrambling to
gather the dignity she’d left on the floor when she ran to the bathroom to purge herself.
“I want you to quit bullshitting me. You told me this shit for a reason.”
“You caught me off guard.”
“Bull.” He charged at her.
She tried retreating. “Shit.” She pressed her hands on his chest. “This doesn’t change
anything.”
“It changes everything and you know it.” He clenched his jaw and bent down so close their
noses practically kissed. “You let me see inside of you. Finally, I pierced that wall you keep up between yourself and everyone else.”
“That wasn’t intentional.”
“Just like your body welcomes me and begs me to make it mine, so does your heart.” He
placed his hand over her chest.
Exhausted from the emotional upheaval and in need of something solid, she faltered in the
face of his steadfast assuredness. “Lefty.” Unable to say more, she rested her head against his chest.
“I got you, Gia. Your past doesn’t matter. I want to know whatever you want to tell me, but don’ t think I hold that shit against you. Fuck, you’re a survivor. I always knew that. Not many bitches could hold down a strip club the way you do. You keep people in line and make sure your shit’s together. It’s of one of the things I admire about you. I know this is hard, but the Devils have your back.”
His heartbeat was steady beneath her cheek. The rhythm of it anchored her. His warmth
seeped into her chilled body and she inhaled his masculine scent, allowing herself to believe just for a moment she belonged to him. What would it be like to have a man who’d protect her? How could she trust him not to turn on her, or leave you when something newer or younger came
along? She’d seen it happen too many times, men stepping out on their wives and girlfriends, johns dropping their regular girls like a bad habit when fresh meat came in looking younger and fresh as a daisy. How did you put so much trust in a person? The heart was more than a mere organ. It was the key to your soul. Allowing someone inside gave them power to hurt you.
“Colm.” His voice came out soft and deeper than usual.
“Excuse me?”
“My name is Colm. It’s not much of a secret, but it’s something not many people know.”
Gia pulled back and peered into his eyes. “Colm?” She liked the way the name sounded on
her tongue. His voice went wavy when he said it. She’d never heard his voice sound like that before.
“You’re not the only one with secrets, Mo Run.”
The whispered language took her by surprise. She latched on to the light among the
darkness. “What does that mean?”
“Maybe when you tell me your real name, I’ll tell you.”
Reality hit and she sighed. Her time of hiding was done. “I know I have to talk to Demon.”
“I don’t give a shit about that…”
The venom in his voice stunned her.
“I want you to tell me your name because you know you can trust me and you feel what’s
between us. I’m going to keep you safe, G. You’re going to stay with me and we’re going to explore the possibilities between us. People like us don’t get opportunities like this often. We’re both a little wrecked.” He trailed a finger down the side of her face.
The protests on the tip of her tongue stuck in her throat as he brushed his lips over hers. A shiver ran through her body. Receiving such blatant affection after what she’d revealed did funny things to her. He really doesn’t care. She wanted to deny their bond, but the telling had taken away her anonymity. For the first time since she crossed the ocean, someone knew her real story.
He saw the broken pieces of her she hated and still he looked at her with eyes full of admiration and lust.
“Give me your name, baby.”
She wanted to do this for him. The first man to make her feel wanted in the broken shell she walked around in. “Jalissa, my name is Jalissa.”
He hummed his approval. “Good girl. Mo Run means my dear, or my love. Now, we’re
going to walk out of here, Mo Run, and you’re going to stop thinking for a while.”
She reared back like a startled horse. “How in the hell do you expect me to do that?”
“Gia. Has she made a blatant move toward you?”
“No.”
“If I can find out you’re
not who you are, don’t you think she already has?”
“Yes.” Her lower lip trembled. The walls were closing in on her.
“Don’t let the past make you run scared. It’s going to trip you up and get you harmed. We’re going to play this like nothing is wrong. You start rocking the boat and you might tip her hand, assuming she’s even here.”
“She is…that bitch wants to see me sweat.” Gia swallowed, easing the dryness in her mouth.
“I don’t think it’s an accident word of her arrival got back to me.”
“Exactly.” He tapped her temples. “Trust me on this. I know what to do.” His words held a
weight of sadness behind them.
Maybe her fun-loving biker lived behind a mask too. Intrigued and in agreement, Gia
nodded her head. “Okay, let’s go.” I need to be smarter than this or she’s going to eat me alive.
The thoughts of what Mylandra would do if she took her cleared the haze from Gia’s head. There were so many ways to torture-pleasure other than pain. Making them enjoy what they hated,
playing with the natural physical responses of the body, could break the hardest man or woman down. She had no desire to be on the receiving end of Mylandra’s games ever again. A wise woman knows when to re-group. Going with Lefty now doesn’t take the control out of my hands.
She talked herself down from the panic clawing its way up from the pit of her belly. “Okay, you win.” She deferred to his judgment, ignoring the burning sting to her pride. Giving over control to anyone made her sick, but she craved the closeness.
“Hey. I’m not competing. I’m just trying to keep you safe.”
The honesty in his gaze made her glance at the floor, ashamed. D.D. was full of some scary motherfuckers, but they were family, which meant they looked out for one another. Regardless of their wrap sheets, they had a sense of community and family she’d never experienced before.
He couldn’t understand how hard this simple act was for her. “I know.”
A tense moment of quiet passed between them.
“Come on, G.” He wrapped his arm around her shoulder, tucking her to his side.
Lefty had a way about him. The charmer always made her feel safe and cared for. It’s why
she’d continued with him when Demon bowed out. She liked sex, but she preferred to keep it casual, that’s why she went for ménages. Most of the people involved were only looking for a good time. She’d screwed up with D and Lefty. They were her friends first, and adding sex to the equation made her catch feelings. Affection was the drug she craved. One hit and she couldn’t stop, then the withdrawal was painful. It wasn’t about love, but closeness. The feel of their bodies pressed up against her, keeping her warm and safe. The playful sexcapades in the shower and the sound of their deep breathing as the lullaby she fell asleep to nightly. As she ran through the events leading up to now in her mind, she conceded this had always been coming.
She connected with Lefty on a level she hadn’t been sure she was capable of. Shitty time to find out I can.
Outside, he studied her as she climbed onto the back of his bike. An odd half smile lined his lips.
“What?”
“You look damn good on the back of my bike, Gia.”
“Don’t get used to it.”
“I think you need to reverse that statement. I’ve never been a man who wants much, but
what I do want…I always get. No matter what that luscious mouth of yours says. I see the truth reflected in those wicked eyes of yours, babe. You and I are going to happen.”
He turned on the engine before she could respond and she laughed. Only this man could
make her feel an ounce of joy on the day her life began to collapse in on itself as past and present collided headfirst.
CHAPTER THREE
The annoying buzz of a phone pulled him from the much needed sleep. Lefty grabbed the phone and pulled it to his ear. “Hello.”
“You said to call you when I found something and I got a shit ton.”
Clue. He sat up in bed and sighed. “How bad is it?”
“Mylandra is a bad bitch, Left. I wouldn’t want Gia anywhere near her.”
“Fuck,” he muttered. “Is she here? Can you tell why?”
“Apparently, she wants to expand her business into the white powder franchise.”
“Of course she does, nothing goes better with hookers than blow.”
Clue snickered. “That’s one way to look at it.”
“You want me to come in?” Lefty asked.
“I think it’d be best. Then you can get informed and break the news to Pres.”
“You think she knows Gia is here?”
“I highly doubt she’s the kind of woman who leaves any loose ends, and there’s no reason
for her to pick New Mexico as her export place of choice.”
“Yeah, I was thinking the same thing.” Lefty glanced over at the small body buried beneath the covers beside him. She’d passed out almost the moment her head hit the pillow. “I’m on my way in.”
“Alright, I’m going to get more coffee.” He disconnected.
Kid probably never went to sleep. Clue got like that when he was looking for something.
Lefty squinted at the illuminated screen. Seven-thirty. He forced himself out of bed and headed for the shower. Gia had tossed and turned all night, mumbling in her sleep. He did his best not to disturb her, but it’d been impossible to sleep or lay there idly while she fought her way through her own personal hell. He spent the majority of the night telling her she wasn’t there anymore and waking her up from the worst of it. She’d probably never remember. Every time she glanced at him with a glossed over gaze, she’d been out of it.
The hot water massaged his stiff limbs and chased away the weariness making his eyes burn.
He leaned his head under the spray, marveling at their duality. He knew what it was to flee for your life from the only home you’d ever known. The memory of smoke, bits of stone and fleshy bits he never examined too closely came back to him. He could smell the acrid scent of burning, taste the ash that coated his tongue and obscured his vision. The sounds of screams and panic sounded in his ears. He’d barely escaped the country with his life.
Thank God for Dueling Devils. The rawest shit he’d carried out for them was far better than the bleak life he would’ve faced without them. Finishing his shower, he dressed quickly and sank down on the edge of the bed. “G…Gia.” He kept a reasonable distance, afraid to startle her.
“Mhmm.” Her lids fluttered open. In the moments between sleep and wakefulness, she
seemed to relax and became adorable. Her hair had gone curly and frizzed slightly around her slender face and a sleepy smile curled her lips up.
There was an openness in her expression he rarely saw. He bit back a moan and pushed
away thoughts of climbing back in bed with her and sliding into her warmth. “I got to run to the clubhouse.”
She blinked. “What? Do I need to leave and get dressed?”
She’d never say it out loud, but he could see the fear in her eyes. “No¸ stay here, relax. If there’s a problem, you have my number.”
Her hands clutched the sheets to her chest. She gave a curt nod.
Good, get that fire of yours back. “When I get home, I’ll take your mind off all of this and see if you’re ready to admit who you belong to.”
Her eyes flashed at him. “I belong to myself.”
“There’s that sharp tongue I love to feel wrapped around my dick.”
She rolled her eyes, but a small smile appeared on her lips.
Mission accomplished. “Give me that mouth of yours, baby. I’m not leaving until I taste you one more time.”
She tilted her head and peered while giving him a side glance.
Damn, I live for this push and pull between us. She gave as good as she got and kept him on his toes. It wasn’t a surprise he got hooked on her. After all this time, he finally
found his vice.
At least it wasn’t whiskey like the old man. “I think you like it when I take things from you, Gia.
That’s why you push me away, because you know, not only am I going to come for you and
wear you down, I’m going to do it roughly.” He slid his hand across the sheets and gripped her right thigh. “You like it that way, don’t you?” He squeezed her soft flesh and moved up to the crease where her thigh met her hip. “A little out of control, skating the line between pleasure and pain.” He traced the sensitive area with his fingertip.
She squirmed. Her breathing increased.
“I can smell how much you like it, baby. Now, we can do this the hard way and leave us
both aching and unfulfilled, or you can just give me what I know we both want.”
She turned her head slowly and tilted her head back. He nipped her lower lip and devoured
her mouth. She moaned, parting her lips. He slipped his tongue inside and closed his eyes, losing himself in the moment. There was a give to her he didn’t want to see slip away. Determined to hold on to the foothold, he deepened the kiss. She hummed and he smiled against her lips,
pulling away. “I need to stop now or I won’t be leaving.” He rubbed her swollen lips with his thumb. “This is my favorite look, mussed, swollen, and well pleasured by me.”
She licked the same spot he went over. “Don’t read too much into the fact that you can make my body respond. I like the things you do to me.”
“You like more than what I do to you, Gia. That’s why you always try to dodge me until you need your fix again. I know I’m not the only one feeling this.” She opened her mouth and he shook his head, glaring at her. “The only thing I want to hear from those sexy ass lips right now is ‘I’ll see you when you get back, Colm.’”
Her eyes darkened. “I’ll see you when you get back , Colm.”
“Fuck, I like the sound of my name when you say it. It’ll sound even better when you’re
