When I actually did something with my hair, it was nice. Mostly, it was tied in a knotted mess on the top of my head. I rarely ever wore it down though that was how my father preferred it. Grandma used to braid it or pull it back and my father would let it down first chance he had.
Taking the hair tie out, I let it fall, shaking it with my fingers. It touched the middle of my back. I began brushing through it, my head jerked as I tried to smooth the tangles. Not only did the house need cleaning up, I did too; I had been neglecting myself for 8 years. When I thought about seeing Joseph the day before, looking that tired and worn out, I was a little embarrassed. He struck me as handsome and if he wasn’t so annoying and rude—maybe if I looked better, he might have—I didn’t allow myself to finish the thought.
Finally, I summoned enough emotional stability to go into my father’s bedroom. After his death, I had trouble going into his room; all of his belongings still remained. My grandmother refused to get rid of any of his things, she felt like one day he would come home.
For a while, I sat, afraid to touch anything. Slowly, I began perusing the room. On the dresser, a half-empty bottle of cologne, I opened it and took a deep breath, closing my eyes. Chills went through me, the scent of his cologne made me remember and long for him.
Inside the top drawer was a neatly rolled pile of white socks, I took a pair out and put them on my feet. It was something I used to do as a child during the long Maine winter nights. My father would laugh when I pulled them up past my knees. They still were too large and I giggled at the two inches of extra fabric that extended past my toes.
It was hard to believe he was gone. Perhaps if I had attended a funeral it would have seemed real. His body was never found but the men who were on the ship gave first hand accounts of what happened. They all agreed he could have never survived the wave that washed him overboard, but I couldn’t believe that he was lost forever. It was Grandma’s problem as well. My therapist told me that I had to believe or I would never escape my flashbacks. I didn’t know what the better way of living was. Both seemed pretty lousy.
In his closet hung a row of shirts and jackets, untouched for 8 years. I shuffled, still wearing the socks. Taking one of the jackets off the hanger, I put it on. It may have been my imagination but I think it still carried a little of his scent. Dressing in his oversized clothing, oddly enough, made me feel like his arms were again wrapped around me. Lying back, I slid my hands into the pockets of the jacket. In the right pocket, a crumpled ferry ticket from Northeast Harbor and assorted candy wrappers; from the last time we went to Great Cranberry Island. I smiled a little at the memory. In the left pocket, I found a crumpled piece of paper. Neatly written with my father’s hand, a poem spread across the page; I read it out loud.
Where the land lay low,
the seeds best grow;
let die the life I hide from you.
Protect you, as a father must,
into that world you’ll not be thrust.
As to the meaning of the words, I did not know. I folded the paper carefully, placing it on a shelf, under a framed photo of the two of us.
For the next few days sleeping seemed to be a battle and when I did doze, I had the same disturbing dream—I was in a tunnel, worried and confused. A man was there. I didn’t want to leave him. We were in danger.
It stormed frequently that week. Thunder repeatedly shook me from a slumber. One night after lying in bed for hours, unable to sleep, I wandered onto the deck for fresh air. Down on the beach I saw a silhouette; it looked like Joseph but when I called out, there was no one.
FIVE
I interviewed with Mr. Keyes’ wife, Tabitha Keyes, and she hired me. My new job was working for the Coastal Oceanic Research Expeditions or CORE, as a cleaning person. CORE employed the largest collection of marine biologists on the east coast. The company was known for the millions they donated each year to clean up pollution and preserve marine life in the Atlantic Ocean.
Mrs. Keyes was the Superintendent of Living Environments or the SOLE, which was a fancy way of saying she was head housekeeper. My official title was Maintainer of Living Environments or a MOLE, which was an annoying way of saying I was a maid. Apparently CORE loved using acronyms.
I was given the option to commute or live on campus; I chose to commute since it was dreadful to think of living anywhere other than my house. There was a small problem. The only way to get to the CORE campus, located on the Great Cranberry Island, happened to be via water ferry from Northeast Harbor. It had been over 8 years since I had been on that trip. It was going to be hard to find the courage to travel over water everyday. I kept promising myself that it would be no big deal.
The first day of work, when I arrived at Northeast Harbor, people were already boarding the ferry. As they climbed on board, it rocked back and forth and I wondered how everyone was keeping their balance. Waves slammed into the bow, splashing water onto the deck. The ferry was old and the paint on the side was chipping and faded. I didn’t want to disappoint Mrs. Keyes, by not showing up for work, but I began to doubt my ability to set foot on the ferry, let alone ride it all the way across the Gulf. And then there was the return ride I’d have to face later. The water was visible through the wood boards of the pier and I found myself staring, feeling nervous and confused.
“Phin,” someone was beside me. It was a welcomed distraction. I glanced up to see Ethan Cottington looking down at the wood boards of the pier. “See anything interesting down there?”
“Ethan! What are you doing here? I thought you would be on your way to Michigan by now.” I welcomed the distraction. Of course, I would have welcomed a swamp monster if it had helped to take my mind off of the rickety ferry.
“Ms. Z convinced my Mom to let me join the summer research program at CORE.” He was wearing a backpack and he had two suitcases. “My parents usually send me away every summer so they can go on a Mediterranean cruise. It was easy for them to let me do this. I’ll be out of their hair.”
“That’s why you were looking for her?”
“Yeah! Ms. Z is the best. She said that if I did well this summer, maybe CORE would sponsor me like they do for exchange students. That way I could finish my senior year here in Maine.” At our mention of Ms. Z my stomach knotted.
“So you found her at the school, after graduation?”
“No. I couldn’t find her. I was totally starting to panic and I needed to stall. So, I made my mom take me to the diner for lunch. It was a shot in the dark but I was hoping Ms. Z would be there. Luckily when we pulled in the parking lot, she was standing outside. It was awesome; she arranged the whole thing from my Mom’s cell phone. It took her 5 minutes to get me a spot on the team—called this dude named Jay Mason.” Ethan was beaming with excitement. I, on the other hand was terrified. He was one of the last people to see her.
“I was in the diner waiting to have lunch with her.” I said in disbelief wanting to tell him the truth about her disappearance but instead holding back the information.
“No way, cool! She didn’t tell you about how she hooked me up?”
“No.” I said quietly. “Was anyone around when you were talking to her?”
“I don’t think so,” he tried to recall.
“I didn’t see you. I went outside looking—to get Ms. Z,” I caught myself before I revealed too much.
“My Mom wanted to get me checked into a hotel so she could get on the road. I’ve been staying at the Harbor Inn downtown the past few days. That place rocks. Did you know they have a pool that is part inside and part outside? Plus a free breakfast buffet every morning?”
“Oh yeah? I heard that place was nice. So…” trying to direct the conversation back to Ms. Z. “You didn’t see anyone?”
“No one was with her—but there was a creepy biker looking chick in all black with white hair. She walked past us in the parking lot. My Mom yelled at me for making fun of how ridiculous she looked wearing leather from head to toe on such a hot day.”
>
That was it! Maybe the woman in all black was connected to Ms. Z’s disappearance. I wondered if Joseph had gotten far with his investigation. I wished I could contact him so I could tell him what I knew. “I saw her too. She came into the diner and left without eating. She did look ridiculous.”
“Right? I know! My Mom is such a bummer sometimes.” He was going to say something else but stopped and instead glanced around the dock. “You didn’t answer my question. Are you in the research program too?”
“I’m not.” I said, feeling slightly ashamed to tell him I was part of the cleaning crew. “I take it you’re staying on campus?”
“They have rooms for us on land but most of the summer we’re going to be on the research vessels, out at sea. It’s going to be awesome! I think a bunch of my friends are signed up too, though I don’t see anyone I know, besides you.”
“Out at sea, for how long?”
“Jay, the guy who got me in, said we could be out there for up to three weeks.” Ethan said excitedly.
I couldn’t imagine being at sea, surrounded by nothing but water, what a nightmare.
A loud clank came from the ferry and with a big plume of smoke the engine started. Ethan picked up his suitcases. “Let’s go before they take off without us.”
“Uh, Ethan, I don’t mean to be clingy but boats—well, anything that has to do with water makes me really uneasy. Can I sit by you? And can we make those seats as far away from the edge as possible?”
“Sure, I don’t care.” He stepped onto the ferry, put his suitcases down and held his hand for me to grab. I literally had to step over the edge and into the boat. “How are you going to work for CORE if you’re scared of water?”
“I guess I’ll just stay on land.” Of course, that would be easier said than done.
We took our seats in the center of the ferry. I was terrified of the water, but even more so, I was terrified of blacking out and having another flashback. Ethan put his headphones on and was no help.
I tried to distract myself from the unsettling water with happy memories of my father. The last time I was on the ferry, it was with my father. He and I would ride to Great Cranberry Island when I was young. We would spend the day picking low-bush cranberries. I had a basket that my grandmother gave me and we wouldn’t leave until it was full. Dad always knew where to look for the best cranberries. The plant itself was only about an inch tall and the berries were quite small.
I had become very familiar with the group of islands during my childhood. There were five islands, but only two were inhabited year round. The largest of the islands was Great Cranberry, which is where CORE set up headquarters. It was no more than two miles long and only a mile wide.
When we reached the island, I breathed a sigh of relief. Ethan took off as soon as he spotted one of his friends. I wasn’t surprised. I checked in for my cleaning job and was assigned a locker along with a stack of uniforms. The standard issue, as a MOLE, was a plain green shirt. The embroidered emblem in the corner top left of the shirt read “CORE MOLE.”
The CORE campus covered most of the island. A few weeks prior to graduation, I heard Mara Cottington gossiping with her neighbors about how the company had taken over the entire island—she was right. Most of the locals moved and their properties were demolished to make room for more campus housing and bike trails.
The eastern coastline of the island was lined with docks where large research vessels were anchored. Some of the vessels were a few stories high and one even had a swimming pool on deck. We toured all 6 of CORE’s vessels. They were magnificent with full laboratories for the biologists. The two largest ships, named George Washington and Theodore Roosevelt, were even equipped with water filtration systems that turned salt water into fresh water for drinking. Those two ships were used for the extended research expeditions with big crews. They were so large, in fact, that I wasn’t as nervous as I thought I would be touring them. For the most part it felt like I was still on land and not on a ship.
The ferry ride back to Northeast Harbor was a different story, I was nervous. Only a few people were on board, since most were living on campus. I blacked out halfway through the ride but the Captain didn’t realize it until we docked. Everyone else thought I had fallen asleep. It didn’t last very long and when I came to I was laying on the wooden pier with strangers surrounding me, perched over like they were looking down a hole in the ground. Actually, falling down a hole in the ground would have been much less embarrassing. It was horrible and after assuring everyone that I didn’t need an ambulance, I went home.
My house was a sight for sore eyes. I was glad to be home; so glad in fact that I feared I was turning into a hermit. After a hot shower and a warm bowl of noodles, I went straight to bed. The day’s events were slightly exhausting and I slept great.
SIX
The sun was just beginning to rise over the Atlantic and the June air wasn’t unbearable, yet. My alarm still had an hour before it would sound but I was wide-awake. Instead of staying in bed, I went for a jog before work.
There was a trail that ran between the neighborhoods but when I reached it, it was overcrowded with people walking their dogs and pushing their children in strollers. Wanting something less crowded, I opted for a more remote trail that my father and I used to walk. It followed the coastline just a half-mile south of the neighborhood. It took me a while to find it but when I did, it was exactly how I remembered it. The tree branches stretched out like a canopy over head. Lush green ferns lined the way. The ground was damp from the dew and more than once I slipped on the mud. Once I had gone about a quarter mile my muscles warmed up and I was more confident in my stride. The waves below pounded at the rocky coast. It was very peaceful to hear nothing but the water, the birds singing and my heart beating.
I felt strong, like I could run forever. As I rounded a bend in the trail, something in the water below caught my eye. Just a few feet under the surface was the silhouette of a large fish. I slowed to a walk, focusing on the shape. My curiosity got the better of me and I left the trail for a new one heading down hill to the shore. The new trail was damp and slightly overgrown. I was focused on the surface of the water; I didn’t notice the large tree root that was sticking out of the ground. My toe caught the root and I fell.
It was fascinating to watch the clear, colorless waves of energy wash over my face. I could hear soft tones—or is it a melody? Whatever the sounds were, they were beautiful and captivating.
“Please wake up. Open your eyes.” Joseph Merrick was whispering in my ear, then talking to himself. “Great, why does this girl keep passing out?”
“Joseph?” I was flat on my back. The damp ground soaked through my clothing. The temperature had dropped 10 degrees and the wind was blowing hard. Goose bumps rose on my arms.
I repeated myself. “Joseph?”
“Yes,” saying with a hint of disgust.
“Is Ms. Z back yet?” She was all that concerned me.
“No.” Answering with even more disgust in his voice, he looked away.
“I saw people.” I started to say but knew I wasn’t making any sense. His hand was between my head and the ground.
He looked around. “You saw people on the trail?”
“No, I saw people at the school and at the diner.”
“You’re worse off than I thought.” Feeling my head like a doctor would, he put pressure on it with his fingertips. “Does this hurt?”
“When Ms. Z—your aunt disappeared. I saw a woman at the diner. Then a few days ago I went to the school and saw a man take her car.”
His face filled with concern but he ignored my findings. “Seraphin, does it hurt when I apply pressure to your head?”
“Do you think they have her? Can we find her?” I was surprised at my enthusiasm. I wanted to help him find the woman I so cherished but he only wanted to help me.
“SERAPHIN!” Trying to catch my attention, he put his face directly in front of mine.
“WHAT?”
I shouted back, angry that he was avoiding my questions.
“You fell and hit your head.” He stated the obvious.
“I know.” Reaching up, I found my hair to be coated with mud. Every time I saw him it seemed there was something stuck in my hair. He must have thought me repulsive. “I don’t care about my head, I care about Ms. Z. I’m fine, she’s not.”
Pausing, he let out a puff of air. Then the lecture began. “You shouldn’t be jogging by yourself. What if I didn’t hear you? I doubt anyone would have found you. You could have a concussion.”
“Stop changing the subject—wait, what are you doing here? Were you following me?” I said, trying to straighten my hair.
“Don’t flatter yourself. Why would I follow you?” He snapped. “It was just a lucky coincidence that I was on my way to work and I heard you call for help—AGAIN. And again, it seems I have to ask for a thank you. Obviously you still don’t appreciate a helping hand.”
In the distance, thunder rumbled. Anger swelled in me. I tried to calm myself, knowing that if I didn’t my body would do it for me. Our eyes connected for several minutes. His eyes changed to a deep blue. I gasped and broke free, glancing at my watch. Almost 30 minutes had passed. “I need to finish my run so I can get ready for work.”
“You can’t be serious, Seraphin?” Joseph raised his voice and when he said my name I gave him my full attention. “We’re going back your house. You need to get cleaned up. You have blood in your hair and mud all over your face.”
“I have blood in my hair?” Touching, I realized that what I thought was mud, was actually blood mixed with dirt.
“Let’s go.” He commanded. When he reached to help me up, I stubbornly ignored his hand. I turned, pressing my palms into the mud. He leaned back and folded his arms across his chest, watching me with a look of amusement. As my hands sunk down into the soil my body lifted, I dug my heel into the ground but my shoe slipped and I landed on my rear end.
When, at last, he found me. Page 4
