by Todd Fries
In the end, his own independence trumped everything and his lack of communication cost Jin his life. If he’d been more involved and more forthright, they might have returned in one piece, but that wasn’t in the cards for Jin. If he would have told him about the nuclear bomb in the power supply, Jin might not have disabled the circuit board and the timer could have been used to blow the device instead of having someone trip it manually. Whoever did that would die instantly and while Jin understood this when he volunteered, it shouldn’t have come to that.
He should have done it himself, but that wasn’t possible. Circumstances prevented him from doing so. If the mission was to succeed, they needed SM1 intact and with only two pilots, he had to fly the lunar lander while Nickolas piloted SM1. This left Hannah and Jin, and in the end Jin made the decision to die for everyone else. Jin was a true soldier in every sense - and a hero beyond compare.
As for himself, he made the hard decision that saved SM1, but that decision sent one man to his death. Somehow the General thought this qualified him as a hero, but he didn’t see it that way. For him, this mission was a failure in that he didn’t return with his entire crew.
He shook the thought from his mind, but it was almost impossible to avoid thinking about it. Everything reminded him of Jin and even when he was out running in the cold desert air, he still thought about the man and wondered what might have been. It was useless to keep revisiting the mission, but like any good commander, he wanted to understand what went wrong and what he might do better next time. If there was a next time. If there was going to be another operation, he didn’t want to repeat the same mistakes.
Nevertheless, it didn’t seem that he’d be leading anyone into battle soon. The General made it clear that once he had a chance to decompress, he would be re-assigned to the Aurora and he’d be back in the pilot’s seat once more. In a way it was a relief because he didn’t interact well with others and sitting alone in a cock-pit was just fine with him. It freed him from the responsibilities associated with managing people and any decisions primarily affected him and him alone.
What he needed now was time to think and time to mourn. He wasn’t depressed by any means, but the burdens of recent events had taken the wind out of his sails. In some ways it was good to rest, but in other ways he wanted to keep busy, especially if it kept him from thinking about the past. In either case, he wasn’t cleared to fly, so with nothing else to do, he used the time to exercise, train and to develop his interpersonal skills.
Utilizing the base psychologist, he was making great strides in broadening his social confidence. At the end of each session, he was given a task designed to challenge his budding personality, which usually required something as simple as maintaining small talk for more than 5 minutes or introducing himself to a stranger. While these things might be second nature to most people, they were major steps for him and he dreaded each one.
At the beginning, most of his efforts resulted in awkward failures, but as he gained experience and confidence, he started feeling like a real person and this gave him a sense of satisfaction. In fact, he was even starting to develop a few friends and this was something new for him. It was one thing to work in a sterile and regimented environment, giving and taking orders, but another to engage within a communal group of diverse and interesting people.
This “give-and-take” of conversation came naturally to most people, but was a mystery to him and while the military establishment wasn’t interesting in socializing their warriors, the General had always taken a keen interest in his growth - as a person- and perhaps this is why Samuel was not only a great commander, but a great friend as well. It wasn’t too often that one served under an officer for such a long period of time, so the interpersonal dynamic was much different than anything he had ever known.
But in many ways it had to be, because they were doing things that went way beyond the prevue of the military and each mission was a dangerous and risky business that required great drive and dedication, and most of all – trust. This wasn’t a business for the faint of heart, but in his mind, trust was even more important than loyalty; although both went hand in hand. He had to be ready to give his life at any moment and he was no more valuable than any other member of the team.
This was something he understood and didn’t need the help of a psychologist to discover. As for his loyalty, there was no question, but without trust, loyalty was an impenetrable fog with nothing clearly defined. If he didn’t understand it before, he understood it now. During his last mission, he had the loyalty of his crew, but not their trust and in the end that lead to disaster.
When he looked back on it now, their loyalties were invisible to him and because of that, he missed opportunities to really understand his crew. No. His friends. In many ways they were his friends and if he had done things differently, he might have been able to avoid the many pitfalls of that mission, but he stopped himself.
He was doing again. Reliving events as he always did, grinding them over and over in his mind. No matter what he tried to do, his thoughts always ended up in the same place, stressing over the same things and he made a second conscious effort to wipe the images from his mind and concentrate on something else. Anything else. If he could just forget about what happened, his life would be so much easier, but this wasn’t his way and as he sat down on the bench to dry himself off, he paused to take a deep breath.
Ok. Think of something else he whispered to himself. Using his mind, he put himself outside of his selfish concerns and thought about his friend Samuel. General Samuel Reynolds was getting married and he was the best man. This was coming up in a few days and there were many things to do. He needed to pick up his tuxedo and while the bachelor party was planned and ready, he still had to arrange a few last minute details. It wasn’t going to be a large and complex affair. By and large, it was a few select friends getting together for a drink and some laughs. The General didn’t want a stripper and X-rated movies were out of the question, so planning his party was pretty easy.
They would start with some trap-shooting, as a fun way to compete, and then sit by the pool with some champagne and hors d’oeuvres while listening to jazz music. They might even get in a game of cards if time permitted. It was also about relaxing and having fun and he was looking forward to the event. It wasn’t too often that he was tasked with such pleasant duty and only hoped his efforts would be rewarded. If the General was happy, then he’d be happy.
As for himself, he didn’t have a woman in his life right now. He was so stoic and rational that many people referred to him as Commander Spock from Star Trek. His unemotional response to almost any situation didn’t communicate feelings of warmth and friendship, so most women shied away, assuming he wasn’t interested or wasn’t interesting. The latter bugged him the most, but he was working on that and someday his turn would come.
After all, the General had to wait 62 years to find his love, so he had plenty of time to discover that perfect match to his personality. She was out there somewhere. He just had to be patient and wait for the right moment in time. It was all a matter of probability, but like the General, the odds were stacked against him. The older he got, the less time he had and while most men his age already had children, he was still an unapologetic bachelor and that might never change.
But this was ok with him. He didn’t regret his life and while he may have longed for certain things, he had a chance to accomplish goals that would have been impossible with a wife and kids. Like any other person, he wanted to have it all, but that wasn’t always possible in life. Every opportunity came with a price and every decision negated a thousand other options, so he had to weigh his life outside the expectations of main-stream society and look inside himself for the answers to his doubts.
He consoled himself with the fact that there were many people who would have loved to have seen what he had seen and do what he had done. Contentment wasn’t given and it wasn’t earned. Contentment was created. It was created the ins
tant a person realized the many blessings in their life and understood their value as a person. For within each one of us was that spark of ambition, always pushing us forward and constantly whispering; what you have isn’t enough, persistently casting a jealous eye on everyone and everything, looking for greener grass on the other side of the fence.
While these internal drives were important, it was also just as important to put them aside when necessary. It was good to stop and evaluate your life from time to time, so that the reality of your situation could be laid bare. And in doing so, realize that it was never too late to change direction, or alter your perceptions of what had value and what did not. So when the General put him on ice to decompress, it was with the knowledge that all things become clear in the vacuum of stress and he was thankful for the opportunity to stop, think and believe.
So with his mind clear and a new day beginning, he showered and changed. He had a meeting with General Reynolds and didn’t want to be late. He imagined the General might have a new assignment in mind. If so, he was ready and eager to start.
JACOB LOGAN
Jacob poured over the documents sent to him by Hannah Saunders. He had never seen anything like it. As a biblical scholar, he had insights that might provide more clues regarding the mystery of this alien language. Each of the volumes she interpreted were indeed books from the bible, but what else might be buried in these volumes. The Hebrew’s were known for their mystical symbolism and he had lobbied to get a look at these ancient texts for himself. Perhaps a fresh set of eyes might reveal more information. He pushed aside his blood stained bible and reflected on the alien book.
Growing up on the south side of Chicago, he came from a predominantly black neighborhood where crime and gangs were rampant. The color of his skin made him a target for just about everyone. The White gangs wanted to kill him. The Black gangs wanted to recruit him. The police looked at him as just another troubled teen-ager who was probably mixed up with drugs and violence. Even his own half-brothers were irritated by his “goody-two-shoes” attitude and taunted him. He could still hear their shouts.
“So you think you’re better than us? What are you gonna do? Ask the Pastor to fight your battles for you? You don’t know what it’s like out on the street. Someone’s gonna rap you around the head and put you in your place.”
And then they’d push him or throw his bible out the window and dare him to do something about it. One time it landed on the street and he watched as a man with a bandana picked it up and then looked at him. Not knowing what to do, he shouted to the person to throw the book up to him. But the stranger slowly returned his gaze to the publication and didn’t say a word.
Then four or five others came out of the alley and started joking with the first man, giving him the high-five and offering some cigarettes. When they spotted the book, they grabbed it from his hands and started ripping out the pages. Horrified, he hurried down the stairs and into the street and was about to snatch it when he was grabbed by two men and wrestled to the ground. They beat him until he almost died and when he looked up from the street, he could see his two siblings staring down at him from the window. Darren and Henry never lifted a finger to help.
When they were done kicking him, they threw the book onto his chest and left him in a pool of his own blood. Being unable to move, he watched the clouds drifting in the clear blue sky and wondered why God would let this happen. He was literally defending the Word of God and look what it got him? Beaten and left for dead?
He remembered 2 Corinthians 11:25 when Paul talked about his persecution and suffering.
“Five times I received from the Jews the forty lashes minus one. Three times I was beaten with rods, once I was stoned, three times I was shipwrecked. I spent a night and day in the open sea. In my frequent journeys, I have been in danger from rivers and from bandits, in danger from my countrymen and from the Gentiles, in danger in the city and in the country, in danger on the sea and among false brothers.”
And wasn’t he looking at those false brothers now? Two cowards who didn’t care about him or give a damn about his well-being? They considered him an outsider being he had a different father. But he had a different father in more ways than one. His Father was the one true God - while their father was the father of lies. He immediately reined in his anger and asked forgiveness for his judgmental thoughts.
As he peered through his one good eye, he watched as a single curtain slowly whipped about in the breeze, but his brothers were nowhere to be seen. They had retreated into the apartment, no doubt laughing at his circumstances. They probably figured that it served him right being so high and mighty. And perhaps they were right. He did feel superior at times, but not in the way they believed.
If he felt superior, it was only in the knowledge that he was Loved by his Lord and he had hope in a world filled with hate. If nothing else, he knew what he wanted to do and understood the difference between good and evil. This wisdom eluded his brothers and he often wondered why they were so blind to the truth. It was so obvious to him and every time he read those words, he gained an understanding that was far beyond any high school textbook. He felt the book on his chest and clutched it close to his heart. He remembered also from that same book of Corinthians:
“For God, who said. ‘Light shall shine out of darkness,’ is the One who has shone in our hearts to give the Light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ.”
If this was true, then why did God choose him over his brothers? He knew he was incapable of finding his own way, so by trusting in something greater, he was opening the door to a better life, provided he survived to live another day. So without further word, he started to pray. He prayed for his brothers and prayed for the men who beat him. He prayed for his parents and his friends and in the midst of his outcry, he begged for his own forgiveness. For he was being prideful and that was a sin. He was no better than his brothers and no better than the men who beat him.
In the distance, he could hear sirens and knew that someone must have called the police. While he didn’t feel like he was dying, it was impossible to move and he felt like he weighed two tons. With the amount of blood around him, it was no wonder he felt weak and dizzy. When the police arrived, it was soon followed by an ambulance and he ended up spending almost a week in bed.
His parents quizzed him on what happened, but he never gave up his brothers. He understood them better than he understood himself and as they watched him recover, he had to wonder what they were thinking about. Did they feel anything for him? Did they harbor any regret? If nothing else, they had to respect his efforts to protect them. Perhaps by doing this, he was heaping hot coals upon their heads, damning them in the afterlife for their brazen sins.
For many months afterward, they came to an understanding. They seemed to accept the fact that he was never going to change and while he might have been an embarrassment to them in the outside world, they stopped bullying him. If he was willing to die for his stupid book, how much more could they do to him in their efforts to discourage his passion. At least he wasn’t a rat. It was some consolation to know that their brother might be many things, but he wasn’t a coward and if they couldn’t bring him around to their way of thinking, then ignoring him would be the next best thing.
And so they spent the rest of their teenage years avoiding each other in the close proximity of the apartment, and when he was finally able to free himself from his silent persecution, he entered into a seminary in the hopes of advancing his faith, and through years of study he earned a Bachelor of Arts in religion, a Master of Arts in theology and religious studies, a Master of Divinity and finally a PhD in religion with specialization in both the Old and New Testaments. He also studied early religion and spoke and wrote Hebrew. Over time he lost track of his brothers, who seemed intent on a life of crime and seeing nothing in common with them, he concentrated on his own life.
But through it all, he never felt drawn to serve as a minister, but published various
books which included guides to the structure of the Old and New Testaments, as well as other volumes that broke down the meaning and symbolism found in scripture. He understood that in many ways, the bible made claims about life and reality, which not only intersected with religion, but with theology and philosophy. Whether the subject was archaeology, literature, women’s studies, science or a hundred other subfields, he knew that somewhere, people were actively engaged in the study of the bible and were looking for resources to exploit.
What he didn’t expect is that the military would be one of those interested parties. While conducting a book signing at a local library, a General came in, asking him to sign one of his latest releases and when the crowd finally thinned out, the General was still around, patiently waiting at a table until he was done. He invited him over to discuss his book and he was quite impressed with the General’s biblical knowledge. It wasn’t something he expected from a man in his position.
After several hours of conversation, the General; (Samuel Reynolds) asked him to visit his base in Nevada. It sounded like the chance of a lifetime, to interact with ancient texts and review new discoveries in biblical archaeology. Within several weeks, he was cleared to enter and flew out to Area 51 for his first briefing. It was here that he was told about Stellae Mysterium and the books found within the building.
A cryptologist by the name of Hannah Saunders had already translated the unique writing and confirmed each volume to be a book from the bible. What they needed now was someone to tie everything together. In essence to look at the entire picture from an astronomical and theological perspective, which was right up his alley. However, he wasn’t allowed to view the actual books and so he lobbied the General to get his hands on them, hoping he might search for clues within the structure of the writings themselves. He needed to pick through each clue, looking for something that might open the door to a new chapter in the ever developing story of SM1.
