by Carrie Carr
Dr. Kern sat forward, shocked. "Your sister?"
"I know, I couldn't believe it either, but there she was in the mirror looking right at me, just as beautiful as always."
"What did she say?"
"She said that she missed me and would visit me again soon."
For a quick moment, she wondered if she had made a mistake in sharing this information about her sister's visit with her doctor. He was certain not to believe her, but it didn't matter. She knew what she saw, and that was all that mattered.
Bianca closed her eyes a moment, then sat up as if experiencing an epiphany. "It's been months since my family died and since then, I've been living this dull life, just varying degrees of boredom and gloom. There is absolutely no excitement."
"What do you want to do about it?" Dr. Kern asked in his famous nonchalant tone.
"I'd like to be someone else, if only for one day," she said with a smile. "Someone different, someone like my sister and do things only she would do."
"But your sister was murdered, wasn't she?"
"Yeah," Bianca said as if remembering. "But at least she knew how to have fun."
Bianca glanced at Dr. Kern, waiting for a response to her statement, but nothing. He was as dry as a nail. As Bianca enjoyed the silence, she seemed more concerned with the excitement that her sister experienced than her sister's tragedy. It was only because Bianca was no stranger to tragedy, and it was now time for the excitement.
Chapter 2
BIANCA RELAXED IN HER ALL white, sanitized kitchen, the only room in her apartment not purposely sprinkled with the color red. Red was her favorite color and not only because red was such a daring color, but more importantly, it was her sister's favorite color. She read through the pages of her inspirational book, This is Your Life, renewing her positive spirits with each sentence. Her blue funnel of despair was trying to tell her something: that she needed to do something, something different, no matter how outrageous. It was her recent session with Dr. Kern that offered her a new perspective. Somehow, it was during the time in his presence that new ideas came to her, and suddenly, her life didn't appear as dismal as before. She found it strange how an idea, even without all the necessary details, could stir so much excitement in her and award her so much hope.
Bianca poured herself some red wine from the bottle on the table, and just as she drew the glass to her mouth, she heard the voice of her sister, Sandy.
"Biancaaaaaaa? Biancaaaaaaa?"
Bianca slammed the glass down, almost breaking it and raced into the front room. "Sandy?" Bianca stood before the hall mirror and right before her eyes, she saw the image of her beautiful sister, Sandy.
"How are you, Bianca?"
"I want you to come back, Sandy. I miss you."
"I wish I could. But I can't. Besides, you don't need me anymore."
"Yes, I do."
"You only think that you do."
Bianca was silent for a moment, soaking up the presence of her sister. "I've been thinking a lot about you. And mom. I never got a chance to tell mom how much I loved her."
"She knew you loved her," Sandy said.
"She did?"
"She did. She always knew."
"I will never forgive dad, though, for what he did," Bianca said. "Never."
In the midst of enjoying her sister's company, Bianca was startled by a knock at the front door. And as mysteriously as the image of Sandy appeared, it soon disappeared.
"Sandy? Sandy?" Bianca called out.
But Sandy was gone.
Again, a knock at the door echoed throughout her apartment before Bianca could reach it. Her first thought was that it might be her good friend, Lee, because anyone else would usually ring upstairs first for entrance into her building. Though her lobby door remained locked, Lee managed to always find a way upstairs without calling up first, something that remained a mystery to her.
Upon opening the door, Bianca saw no one. Instead, she spotted a pint of her favorite Vanilla Haagen-Dazs ice cream at the foot of the door and a warm smile flashed over her face. "Come on out, Lee," she said, as she picked up the ice cream.
From around the corner, Lee trotted, as only he could do, so sneakily. He was thirty-three, slightly shorter than Bianca and sported a dark Kangol hat.
Lee had been engaged to marry Bianca's sister before she passed away, and in the aftermath, he and Bianca continued to maintain a sweet and platonic friendship. Though there was much chemistry between the two, Bianca felt at odds with carrying on a relationship with someone who was once engaged to her sister. And there was something else. Though she hated to admit it, she had major reservations about dating someone shorter than she was. She would forever keep that to herself, however, the same, it was the cold hard truth.
It was her sister's engagement to Lee that connected them, and it was her sister's death that would forever keep them intimately apart.
"Hey, Sunshine," Lee said, carrying a beautifully wrapped gift box. It wasn't uncommon for Lee to bring gifts with him whenever he came to see her. Though she always welcomed his cute gifts, she found herself more concerned with his Houdini ability to bypass the security door in her lobby.
"How is it that you always manage to get up here without calling up first?" she asked him.
"There's always someone coming in or out. This is a very busy building."
As he shed his leather jacket, he kissed her lightly on the cheek.
"I didn't expect you until this weekend," Bianca said.
"As cold as it is here, I missed this city, and I missed you."
"And how is your father?"
"Fantastic as always."
Bianca sat across from Lee at the oval-shaped kitchen table, and dipped her spoon into her ice cream.
"So how have you been?" he asked her. "Have you been doing all right?"
"You act like I'm a basket case or something. I'm fine, just bored as always."
A faint, sneaky smile appeared on Lee's face. "You need a husband. That's what you need."
She licked the back of the spoon and swallowed the ice cream in her mouth. "Is that what I need?"
"It's exactly what you need."
It was no secret that she charmed him, but she never assessed his feelings as anything more than harmless flirting. After everything she endured, Lee was a good friend; a much-welcomed delight, and she didn't dare tamper with perfection.
"Well, you know what I think?" she asked him.
He slid his hand on top of hers and gently stroked the back of her hand. "No, tell me what you think."
She gazed down at his hand on hers, then flashed him a warm smile. "I think you want a wife."
"Maybe."
The pin in Bianca's hair slipped out, and she grabbed the back of her bun. "Who would want to marry Ms. Plain Jane, anyway?" she asked, referring to herself.
"You would be surprised. He may be closer than you think. Besides that's one of the things I like about you─your natural beauty."
For a moment, she considered telling him about the visit from her sister, but fearing he might not understand, she chose not to, having shared that incident with her doctor was enough.
She smiled and admired him staring across the table at her as it was always flattering.
"You have to give it time," he said.
She didn't have a clue to what he was talking about. "Give what time?" she asked.
"Your situation, the sadness."
"Oh, that."
"Things are never comfortable at first."
"Is that what you have learned from your thirty-three years of living?"
"This is what I know because I speak from experience."
After showing incredible restraint, Bianca glanced at the psychedelic gift box on the table, and her curiosity set in. "What's in the box?"
Lee slid the box in her direction. "Open it and find out."
A warm smile lit Bianca's face as she grasped the box, thinking that it was a shame to ruin the beautifully wrapped p
ackage. Upon unwrapping it, she uncovered a red glass alarm clock with polk-a-dot numbers. "This is beautiful, Lee. Thank you."
This was an unusual gift. Having grown accustomed to the red tulips, chocolates, desserts, and even books, she couldn't help but wonder what significance a clock held. Then again, maybe it wasn't supposed to mean anything. What mattered most was that Lee had mastered the ability to make her feel so special.
Bianca lifted the clock from the box and set it on the table. Not only was it a special gift, but it was her favorite color─red. And that made it even more special.
"There's something else," he said.
Bianca gazed inside the gift box and underneath the red and white designer papers was an immaculate red-faced watch with a black leather band.
Bianca's eyes lit up with joy. "This is gorgeous."
"I know you don't wear a lot of jewelry, but this is special."
"And what makes it so special?"
"Because it's from me to you."
She didn't quite know what to say because it was such a unique collection of gifts, a clock and a watch. There was obviously some type of symbolic meaning behind it, no matter how subtle.
"Is this watch supposed to mean anything?" she asked him.
"Not really, just a gift from one friend to another."
She was no dummy. There was much more to that watch than Lee led on to believe, and though she couldn't quite figure it out that day, eventually it would all come out.
Bianca studied the watch, not certain whether to accept it or not. "It's just a friendship gift, right? It doesn't mean anything other than that?"
"Nothing else," he said.
"Well in that case, thank you." She leaned across the table and kissed him on the lips. Though it only lasted a second, it was the first time she ever shared a kiss with him on that intimate scale.
She found herself flirting with the idea of someday possibly being more than just friends with Lee, but she and Lee shared a dynamic friendship. And she didn't want to change a thing. So many other things had changed in her life, and what she valued and needed most was consistency, which would soon end if they moved in a more intimate direction.
Bianca always lacked the tolerance for intimate relationships, which explained why none of her previous relationships lasted longer than a few months. At the first sign of trouble or imperfection, she would bail out, and she didn't ever want that to happen with her and Lee.
They would be friends forever.
The engraved wall read: Whitley & Austin.
Bianca stepped off the elevator on the forty-fourth floor of the office building where she worked and strutted past the reception area and down the corridor. Past several secretarial workstations, she made her way to the walk-in closet and removed her coat. She wore a black and red polk-a-dot dress, which stretched down past her knees over her dark tights. She favored dark colors, especially red and polk-a-dots, any shade of red and any style of polk-a-dots. Her black hair was neatly pulled back into a bun, and not a trace of makeup could be spotted on her narrow face. Wearing flat shoes and black tights, she knew she was plain looking, but it was by choice. Who would be interested in her anyway?
When Bianca reached her desk, the silence and lack of motion indicated that she was one of the first few to arrive that morning. She enjoyed arriving early, and getting a jump-start on any work her boss, Lillian, may have left for her.
Most of the secretaries in her group worked for two attorneys, but since Bianca's other attorney left the firm, she was one of the few secretaries with only one assignment. Her boss was one of the most well liked attorneys at the office. Not only was Lillian independent and did most of her own work, but she was lenient and extremely appreciative, making her more like an acquaintance than a boss.
Twenty minutes passed and the office was transformed as Bianca's coworkers filed in one by one. While Bianca capitalized on her idle time by organizing her desk, Michelle Moore, a fellow secretary, approached her desk. She was a tad taller than Bianca, with the same slim body frame, and the same dark chocolate complexion as Bianca. Minus Michelle's long straight bleached-blonde hair and bangs, she and Bianca could easily pass for sisters. Maybe even twins. She viewed Michelle as her hairy friend, the lioness with hair that covered her body like hives, sideburns long enough to curl and eyebrows that connected in the middle.
Michelle and Bianca first met when they both used to work at Skadden, Arps. They connected immediately when they learned that they both grew up in Evanston, Illinois. Since then, they remained the best of friends, as Michelle was one of the few people that Bianca trusted. It seemed it was fate that brought them together once again at Whitley & Austin.
"Good morning," Michelle said with an enthusiastic ring to it.
"Oh, Michelle, I have something for you." Bianca searched into her red book bag and pulled out a book: Guide to the Dells, then handed it to Michelle. "I thought this might come in handy for your trip with Edward."
Michelle smiled and didn't speak right away as if moved by Bianca's kind gesture. "That was very nice of you. Thank you," Michelle paused. "Camina and I are going to Giordano's for lunch today. You're welcome to come with us."
"I don't know," Bianca said, instead of just outright saying no, which was what she wanted to say.
Michelle seemed to ignore Bianca's ambivalence. "We're going around twelve-thirty." Michelle exhibited a take charge attitude, which Bianca admired, especially since there wasn't a take-charge cell to be found in Bianca's body. Moments later, an attorney, Bruce Colby stepped from his office. He was an attractive white attorney, in his late thirties. He wore expensive suspenders and was the epitome of self-confidence. "Hello ladies," he said as he strolled by.
"Hello," Bianca said.
Michelle flashed Bruce a luke-warm smile just as she was about to step away. "I'll see you at lunch, Bianca."
Bianca found it odd that whenever Bruce made his presence anywhere near Michelle, Michelle would always find a reason to disappear. Something was definitely going on there. Bianca just didn't know exactly what. For a minute, Bianca vaguely considered having lunch with Michelle and Camina as Michelle had so eloquently invited her. Though Bianca had no issues with Michelle, it was Camina that stirred the reluctance. It was no secret that Camina and Bianca were not fond of each other, and Bianca preferred to limit their time in social settings as much as possible. But it was her value of her friendship with Michelle that encouraged her to go anyway.
Later that morning, Bianca was about to head towards the lunchroom for her second cup of coffee when she spotted her cousin, Stuart Clark, pushing a mail cart. Because of his dark suit, tie and clean-cut image, he resembled one of the attorneys more than a staff employee. He was new to the firm, and only because Bianca referred him with a glowing recommendation. Having just completed rehab for his drug addiction, Bianca agreed to help him obtain a job on the condition that he remain clean indefinitely, believing that everyone deserved a second chance or two.
"Hey," Stuart said.
"Hey."
"Thank you again for helping me get this job, especially since─"
"Don't worry about it. I'm sure you'd do the same thing for me."
Stuart handed Bianca her mail and continued down the hall. For the brief moment that he stood before her, she thought she noticed a speck of white powder in his nose, but that couldn't be true. Not giving it another thought, she quickly pushed her concern aside. He couldn't possibly be on that stuff again.
While Bianca listened to the mellow sounds of Rihanna from her desk radio, she made changes to the heavily marked-up Asset Purchase Agreement. From the corner of her eye, she saw Camina coming towards her desk, carrying a bagel on a paper plate. Irrespective of their animosity, Bianca's professionalism forced her to always speak, even if Camina didn't.
Camina stood an inch taller than Bianca. She was nearly anorexic, with long straight bleached-blonde hair with bangs, identical to Michelle's. Not only was Camina close to the sam
e height as Bianca and Michelle, but she was super slim and possessed the same dark skin as Bianca. Easily, all three of them could pass as triplets.
"Good morning," Bianca said, keeping her eyes on the computer screen in front of her.
Instead of returning the greeting, Camina chuckled. "Nice dress," she said to Bianca.
Bianca felt the sting of Camina's ridicule, having become intimately accustomed to her insensitive remarks. The animosity between the two stemmed from their high school days together. Not only was Camina petty enough to resent Bianca because Bianca received better grades than Camina did, but it didn't stop there. It was Camina's grudge against Bianca's late sister, Sandy, that Camina mostly hung over Bianca's head. Camina's almost fatal accident left her almost bald and Bianca's sister would always tease Camina about the shortness of her hair. Although Bianca never participated in such crass behavior, Camina seemed to resent her the same as if Bianca condoned her sister's behavior. Her nasty and well-rehearsed words of mockery were Camina's way of reminding Bianca that she had not forgotten and probably never would.
Many times, Bianca considered apologizing to Camina for her sister's behavior, but it was too late. Camina was past the point of forgiveness. This was an unsalvageable relationship, and all Bianca could do was accept it for what it was.
Against her better judgment, Bianca kept her lunch date with Camina and Michelle. It was just a short walk from where they worked, but seemed endless as Bianca listened to Camina boast about her boss and lover, Bruce Colby. As far as Camina was concerned, she and Bruce were a match made in heaven and naively believed that Bruce would one day leave his wife of fifteen years to be with her.
It was one o'clock when they reached Giordano's restaurant on Randolph Street. Even after having pre-ordered their food, they still ended up having to wait 30 minutes before their pizza was served. Seated at a table near the window, Bianca sipped on an iced tea while Camina and Michelle enjoyed daiquiris. Though Bianca treated herself to many bottles of wine at home, somehow, it felt strange for her to have cocktails in the company of others. It was as if she accustomed herself to drinking alone. Not having much of an appetite, Bianca barely touched the pizza in front of her except for a few nibbles at the sauce and crust. Meanwhile, Camina and Michelle chowed down as if the daiquiris elevated their hunger.
