by Carrie Carr
Upon reaching his condominium, Lee stood in the hall mirror and straightened his tie. Bianca watched him in admiration. He was an attractive man. Because it was a rare occasion when she visited him, she had forgotten how nice his placed looked as her eyes spiraled around the room. She took notice of the floor-to-ceiling windows, the off-white European sofa and octagon shaped coffee table. Eccentric paintings of make-believe climates, sunshine and fallen snow hung on the wall, stylishly and expensively framed.
"So, what's up?" he asked her.
"Do you think I'm pretty, Lee?"
"Of course you're pretty. Very pretty."
She didn't respond.
"You don't agree?"
"I don't know sometimes," she said.
"Did you come over here just to ask me that?"
Bianca raised her shoulders, didn't really know exactly where to begin. He was on his way out and would not have much time to talk.
"Are you excited about your birthday tomorrow?" he asked her.
"Not really."
A sigh of sadness oozed from Bianca's lips. "I just stopped by to talk, just came from Excalibur."
"You?"
"Don't look so surprised."
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean for it to sound like that. I'm just surprised. I didn't think that was your forte."
"Neither did I."
"You want to join me and my father, and we can talk afterwards?"
"No. That's okay."
"Are you sure? You know, I can cancel with my father if you want."
"I can't let you do that." She smiled and headed towards the front door. "We can talk tomorrow." She moved her purse upon her shoulder, all the while thinking Lee was on the other side of the room. But when she turned, she found him standing directly behind her, causing their bodies to meet in a swift jam.
Bianca's forehead flourished with perspiration and out of nowhere, she found a web of courage thrive through her and said, "I love you, Lee."
An unusual smile covered Lee's face.
"You believe that, don't you?" she asked him.
Lee nodded.
Bianca opened the door, slipped through and didn't look back. She wasn't at all sure what possessed her to make such a bold revelation to Lee. Of course she loved Lee, but how did she love him? That was the question.
To top off Bianca's unfortunate evening at Excalibur, tomorrow was her thirtieth birthday. Those were the first thoughts to spring to mind when she returned to her dark apartment. She was going to be thirty and she was not yet married, and it bothered her. Marriage never seemed that important to her until she lost her family. Then it became very important. But how was she going to get married when she wasn't even dating seriously?
After she showered and slipped into her burgundy bathrobe, she popped in one of her favorite detective movies and snuggled up on the sofa in her living room. She could not continue at this pace, drinking all the time, doing the same things, and living the same humdrum existence. Something needed to change, and the change she sought would have to come from the inside.
Bianca held the remote control in hand, increasing the volume as she absorbed herself in the movie before her. Ten minutes into the movie, she zeroed in on a scene: A gorgeous woman was being questioned about the murder of her boyfriend. Though Bianca had viewed the movie numerous times, she was mesmerized by the nonchalant and callous manner in which the female suspect answered the detective's questions. Bianca was bewitched by her.
Suddenly, it hit her, like a long-awaited epiphany blooming into fruition. That woman was the who she wanted to be, the female character on screen before her. This woman reminded her of her late sister in a dark and disturbing sort of way. Not that her sister was ever a suspect to a murder, it would not be out of the realm of possibility to find her sister in such a notorious situation.
Bianca kept her eyes focused on the woman in the movie when suddenly she heard her sister Sandy calling out to her from the hall mirror.
"Biancaaaaaaa? Biancaaaaaaa?"
Bianca quickly hurried to the hall mirror, and a beautiful and breathtaking image of Sandy appeared in Bianca's reflection. Sandy's timing could not have been more perfect as Bianca so needed to talk to her.
"Tonight was just horrible, Sandy."
"Was it that bitch, Camina, or that jerk, Rod?"
"How do you know about them?" Bianca questioned.
"We're sisters, remember."
"People would never disrespect you the way that they disrespect me," Bianca said.
"It will get better. I promise."
"I guess. It's been months since you left me, and since then my life has been so dull. It's so dull without you."
"What about your birthday? That'll be exciting."
"Not without you, it won't. I'm so bored, Sandy. I think I'm in a lull."
"What are you going to do about it?" Sandy asked her.
"I do have a few ideas. I'm in the process of putting something together."
"I can't wait to hear about it," Sandy said. "We'll talk again soon. Okay."
"But I want to talk to you now."
"Soon Bianca. We'll talk soon."
Moments later, Sandy was gone.
Bianca stood before the hall mirror, hoping Sandy's image would reappear. But after ten minutes, Sandy failed to appear.
Bianca resumed her comfortable position on the sofa. For long and continuous moments, she spaced out, remembering the nasty comments that reverberated from Camina's mouth. The more she remembered, the more her anger elevated. Why had she allowed herself to be so different, so separate from everyone else?
Why had she been singled out as the ugly duckling?
Why had she allowed Camina to speak such harsh words against her even if they did deserve merit?
Why had she allowed Michelle to speak for her like she was some frail potato?
Bianca's memories elapsed back to when she was a little girl, recalling how her late, but naughty sister reaped all the attention at home and from men.
But not Bianca.
She was the quiet one who everyone liked but paid little attention to. Her sister lived a carefree life, did what she wanted to do and was well respected and still very much loved for it. Though Bianca found no comfort in these distant memories, somehow the memories inspired her to stand up for herself. Her memories made her desire to change even stronger, and, more importantly, the courage to stop complaining and actually do something.
For several days she considered reinventing herself, but it wasn't until that very moment that she knew she had to do it.
Never again would she allow herself to be ridiculed by Camina.
Never again would she allow a stranger in a bar or, any man for that matter, to insult her and not suffer the consequences.
Never again would she retire to an empty boring apartment while everyone else was out living and enjoying life.
And now for the first time, she knew exactly how to do it, and it would be totally painless.
Chapter 6
A DRASTIC OCCURRENCE TRANSPORTED BIANCA into this dark cloud of immobility, and only a drastic move, maybe even outrageous one, could rescue her from it.
And she was ready─so ready.
In every way she would be like her sister. She would dress like her sister, act like her sister and become her sister. There was also a good chance that she might even get a tattoo, something she never thought about before. No longer would she be Bianca, she would be BeeBee. She was reminded of a movie, Thief of Hearts, where this character had two different personalities. When the character was with her husband, she was Mickey, but when she was with her boyfriend, she was Michelle. The name BeeBee also possessed a naughty ring to it, which Bianca liked, as she was more than capable for the task at hand.
As all of these thoughts came to her, she felt a spirit of elation and a whopping dose of euphoria that led her up from the sofa and into the bathroom. It was like a rebirth as she stood at the bathroom mirror. She dropped her robe to the flo
or, scanned over her slender body and round breasts. She released the ponytail ring from her hair, allowing her dull black hair to splash against her shoulders. Through her limp hair, she ran her fingers. Her boring black hair was in serious need of some style and a touch of color. A breath of rejuvenation exhaled from her mouth.
Tomorrow her life would truly begin.
And now was the perfect time.
It was going to be her thirtieth birthday.
The night passed fast.
Not only did Bianca sleep well but she awakened high-spirited. She needed the entire day to make herself over and going to the office clashed with her schedule. So she called off and didn't hesitate for a moment.
Luckily on such short notice, Bianca secured an appointment at Vidal Sassoon. She saw it as a sign that she was on her way. Though she and Lee made dinner plans for her birthday, she chose a date with herself instead. After a quick oatmeal breakfast, she threw on some jeans from the fresh laundry in her drawer and dressed. After checking her wallet for both credit cards, she left her apartment on a mission.
At the ritzy Vidal Sassoon on Michigan Avenue, Bianca anxiously waited in the reception area. She flipped through the pages of Essence magazine, all the while relishing in the tropical shampoo scents and hair sprays that ruminated up her nose. The shiny black chairs and white marble counters warranted it a star status flavor, which seemed more than appropriate for her unique endeavor.
She imagined herself as one of the models who graced the pages of the celebrity magazines and fantasized about how she would feel after her makeover, causing a warm, tingly sensation to pass through her.
She already knew exactly what she wanted.
Bangs and something blonde.
Definitely something blonde.
Two hours had passed by the time Bianca's stylist finished her hair, and Bianca eagerly waited to see the end result. While Bianca's eyes were closed, her stylist swiveled her chair around towards the wide mirror. When Bianca opened her eyes, she was in awe with what she saw.
It was like looking through a mirror with Camina, Michelle and her sister revealing themselves in her reflection. Her long straight bleached-blonde hair with bangs was identical to theirs. Her only regret was that she failed to transform herself a long time ago. A huge glowing smile arose from her perfectly decorated face as she ran her fingers through her silky blonde hair. Not only was she gorgeous, but she possessed a new attitude and saw the world as definitely a place for her. Her new look filled her with confidence―confidence she didn't know existed. She didn't think there would ever come a day when she would feel this sure of herself as if she owned the world and just allowed others to live in it with her.
She was Ms. It.
The morning would not be complete without a French manicure to complement her jazzy new hairstyle. This was only the beginning of much more to come. Today was off to a magnificent start. And Bianca didn't know how it could get much better. She departed from the salon but not without leaving her stylist a much-deserved $40 tip. She headed towards Macy's department store, which happened to be in the same building as Vidal Sassoon.
Now it was time for the wardrobe.
On the main floor of Macy's, Bianca stopped at every mirror in her path. She wanted to constantly remind herself of the marvelous masterpiece created─herself. What she needed now was a theme song, and she had just the perfect tune. It was 33 Flavors and Then Some by Alana Davis. This is the song that she would continually play in her head as a reminder of the dream that she had created.
Up the escalator, Bianca strolled. She made her way to the DKNY department and tried on every outfit that caught her eye: dresses, suits, blouses, long skirts, short skirts and pants. There would be no more polk-a-dot dresses. No more turtleneck sweaters. No more polyester and no bland colors. But, there would continue to be red. Lots and lots of red.
Bianca sought adventure and excitement, and the clothes in her closet would not do her justice. Engrossed in esteem, a particular double-breasted designer pantsuit captured her attention. She would do the world a favor by sporting it out the door for everyone to see, the public having waited long enough.
Her shopping spree would not be complete without the purchase of several pairs of shoes and some leather boots to match her new $400 ivory coat. The coat would not only keep her warm during a typical Chicago winter, but more importantly, it looked good on her, and from where she stood, looking good meant everything.
After she maxed out both of her credit cards to five thousand dollars each, she needed to write a check for her new earrings and makeup. She exited the store looking like two million dollars, much too good to wait for a bus. This invigorating experience elevated her to the top of the hemisphere, and she was completely in control for the first time in a long time.
Twenty minutes later, Bianca reached her apartment after she hailed a taxi from the Loop. She dropped her shopping bags to the living room floor and couldn't wait to talk to Sandy and show off her new look. She knew that her sister would be so proud of her. For all of fifteen minutes, Bianca stood in front of the hall mirror calling out to Sandy, but Sandy was nowhere to be found.
Where was she?
Bianca decided to try again to contact her sister, but for now, she would focus on her new look. Most of what Bianca purchased would be delivered because she could only carry so much with her. After having adored herself for several minutes in the hall mirror, she hurried to the bathroom to try on her new earrings. She posed in her new outfits, modeling everything that she brought home with her. She visualized her friends at work falling over themselves when they saw her. As she fiddled with her hair, a stream of arrogance flourished through her. She absolutely could not enjoy enough of what she saw. It was her new blonde hair, her new clothes and, most of all, her new attitude that she just could not get enough of.
After she tore herself away from the mirror, she listened to the messages on her voicemail, most of which were birthday wishes.
She was thirty years old and a new woman.
This was definitely a defining moment, and she needed a drink. As she sipped her wine, one sip at a time, an image of Mr. Rod Bigg came to her. If only he could see her now, speak to her now; she would have a few choice words for him. She was engulfed in resentment for the way that he spoke to her on that unfortunate evening. As she replayed Rod's offensive words in her head, a wonderful idea came to mind. She would make another visit to Excalibur and hopefully meet him a second time. After all, it was still her birthday, and the day was still fresh and new.
That evening, Bianca failed at her attempt to run into Rod at Excalibur. After downing a few drinks, she made her way back home.
Hope was not lost though.
Eventually, she would run into him and tell him what she should have told him when she met him the first time.
Thirty minutes late, definitely not the norm for her, but necessary to make a grand entrance, Bianca strolled into her office the next morning. With her Coach bag on her shoulder, she received stares and ogles from everyone in her path.
After she hung up her coat, down the corridor she strutted. She wore a kick-ass attitude and an olive green pantsuit to match, which appeared to have been tailored for her lean frame. For each step closer to her desk, her persona, BeeBee, emerged. By the time she reached her cubicle, a plethora of coworkers awaited her as if she were queen of the heavens.
On her desk, an arrangement of flowers awaited her, along with a dozen red tulips. No doubt the tulips were from Lee because tulips were her favorite. After she offered her good mornings to everyone, she read the card of her delivered flowers and learned her assumption was correct. The tulips were from Lee, but what she didn't know was that there was a second arrangement for her from her boss, Lillian, wishing her a happy birthday as well.
Bianca was feeling on top of the world as her coworkers bombarded her workstation like she was a prominent salesperson. She was the center of this gala and enjoyed every second of it.
>
Rollie Williams, a paralegal who dressed more like he worked in the mailroom, wearing khakis and loafers managed to squeeze through the crowd and approach her, his eyes scanning her from top to bottom. "Don't you look lovely," he stated in his distinctive girlish voice.
"Thank you," Bianca said as she pushed her hair behind her left ear.
Soon Michelle made her way over, her eyes widened and her mouth was half open. "Bianca?"
"I like to think of myself as BeeBee."
Chapter 7
MICHELLE DID A DOUBLE TAKE of Bianca's appearance, seemingly even more shocked by the name BeeBee. "Okay, BeeBee. What did you do to yourself?"
Bianca flung her fingers through her silky blonde hair and held her head back. She was so full of herself, and she wanted everyone to know, because it was no secret. "You like?"
"Yes, I do," Michelle said to her.
As Bianca absorbed the non-stop compliments about her hair, makeup and clothes, Camina came to mind as she lounged in the chair and crossed her legs. She couldn't wait for Camina to see her. It was the moment that she anticipated and thought about all night.
It was as if her thoughts of Camina brought Camina out of hiding and into existence as Camina was now approaching Bianca at her desk, her arms folded, not saying a word.
Michelle was quick to speak in Camina's presence. "Will you look at the new Bianca? I mean BeeBee."
"BeeBee? Who's BeeBee?" Camina asked.
Bianca elegantly stood up with a purpose. "I am."
Camina glanced at Michelle in disbelief, then turned to Bianca and rolled her eyes. "So, what's with the blonde hair? What, you want to look like me or something?"
Before Bianca could answer, Michelle immediately jumped in. "She doesn't want to look like you."
"I can speak for myself, Michelle."
While Michelle seemed surprised by Bianca's unusual tone of voice, Bianca placed her hands on her hips and directed her attention towards Camina. "For your information, I have no desire to look like you. I'm better than that. Much better."
