"Anders. Good to see you," Lex says through his own clenched jaw.
The guy, Anders I guess, loses the fake smile and slides his cold gaze from me until it lands on Lex. "I wish I could say the same."
Lex's jaw somehow manages to tighten further, but he remains still. "What are you doing in town?"
"Relieving you of your..." Anders pauses and glances at me with a smirk, "duties."
"Bullshit," Lex growls, but his eyes betray his uncertainty.
"Relax, Alexander," Anders replies with a humorless chuckle. "I'm sure Mags is clueless about what you two have been up to, seeing as she thinks you're God's gift to this green earth, but I guess she has a job for you. Elsewhere."
"Come on, Evan," Lex says, ignoring Anders. "Let's go back to the house."
"But..." I start to protest.
"Please." Lex looks at me then, his eyes anxious and pleading. I bite my lip to keep it from trembling, that weak achy feeling back full force. His hand clings to mine as we both turn and leave without looking back at Anders. I let the fingers of my free hand trail along the rough bark of the trees that we pass as we walk along the path toward the house. I count each tree that I touch in my head. It's a mindless exercise meant to keep me from thinking about the implications of what Anders said and the cruel pleasure in his eyes as he said it.
Instead of heading to the main house, Lex leads me to the guesthouse where he's been staying. This house is much cozier than the estate. It sort of reminds me of home back in Connecticut with the fireplace in the living room and the reproduction Revolutionary War era accent furniture. Lex gives me a half smile that makes his right cheek dimple and tells me to make myself at home before heading into the kitchen to make a phone call.
I find the bedroom without really trying. It's a large room painted cobalt blue and it sits at the back of the house with big windows overlooking the orchards. There's a large four-poster bed dressed in white. Besides that, there's no other furniture in the room except for an antique looking trunk and a writing desk that is similar to mine.
I hesitate for half a second before hopping onto the bed. It makes my heart pound deliciously to know that I'm in the place that Lex sleeps, where he dresses, where he undresses. I can even smell him on the down comforter, that dark woodsy scent that always clings to him, that clings to the air in a room long after he's left.
I hear footsteps in the hall, reminding me that I'm not alone and that Lex and I have yet to be alone in a room with him longer than fifteen minutes. The idea of being alone with him, in this secluded little house excites and unnerves me. I sit up quickly and pull my knees up to my chin, trying to look casual. When he saunters into the room and sees me sitting there, he breaks into a grin, but his eyes are full of something else: pain.
"Lex? What's wrong?"
He sighs, his expression relaxing, and hops into the bed next to me. He lies back and rests his arm behind his head. I keep my gaze locked on the view of the late afternoon sun shining down on the apple trees, but my attention is fixed entirely on Lex.
"I just spoke to your grandmother."
"Oh. And?" I ask with as much nonchalance as I can muster.
Lex takes a little too long to respond, and my heart sinks. "And, I have to go away," he says finally.
My throat feels like I've swallowed a bowling ball, but I manage to speak anyway. "Away? For how long?" I whisper.
Lex leans up and grabs me around the waist, pulling me down onto the bed with him, our bodies falling together as the mattress caves under our weight. I rest my head on the crook of his outstretched arm, our faces only inches apart. I notice the slight tremble in Lex's hand as he slowly raises it and trails his thumb down my cheek and along my jawline. He lets out a shaky breath. "Two months."
Two months. I feel the numbness begin to creep in, waiting to take over and send me back to unfeeling darkness. "No," I choke out, my voice barely a whisper. I'm not sure what I'm saying no to, if it's to losing him or to what will happen to me the second I'm alone again. I didn't realize how much I've begun to rely on him, and it scares me. I never allow myself the indulgence of relying on anybody.
Lex doesn't say anything for a moment. He gnaws on the inside of his cheek while he contemplates what to say. Absently, he traces my lips, causing another shiver to course through me. His eyes darken. "It's not so long. What I have to do... it might not even take two months."
I pull back and turn my head away so that he can't see the tears forming rapidly in my eyes. "You're going to forget all about me," I pout. I've never pouted in my whole damn life, but right now I'm finding it difficult to get a grip. I need him here. I can't be left alone, I don't trust myself. But I don't tell him that, I don't open up because that's not what I do.
Lex groans and tightens his hold on me; he places his hand on the side of my face and gently guides my head until I'm looking at him again. My heart picks up speed and I suddenly feel less weepy. I revel in the closeness, in the hard line of his body, in the depth of his now onyx black eyes.
"That would be impossible," he whispers his hand sliding down to cup my neck. "I assure you, that I will think of nothing but you."
I press my face into his shoulder to hide my grin, before looking at him again. "Who is that guy, anyway?"
"Anders?" Lex asks. I can tell he's trying to sound casual, but his eyes have gone hard and his body tenses momentarily. "He works for your grandmother, same as me."
He slides his hand down my neck, tracing his thumb along my collarbone. It's taking a lot of effort on my part to stay focused. "The same...job, as you?"
Lex smiles that slow, playful smile that I can't seem to get tired of seeing. "If by job you mean having to do whatever your grandmother tells us to do, then yes."
"That sounds horrible," I tease.
Lex gives a throaty laugh that sends electricity fizzing through my veins. "It's not, actually. Some of the things I get to do are...amazing."
He catches my frown and smoothes it away with the pad of his thumb. "Everything except making me leave you, that is."
"Maybe I could call my grandmother and ask if you can stay." I know he would never agree to that but I have to try.
"Then she would definitely know something was going on." His tone is playful but his eyes are serious.
"Is...something going on?" I aim for casual but fail miserably. I blush and try to look away, but Lex gently cups my face, forcing me to look into his smiling eyes.
"Absolutely," he says in that dark, smooth voice he seems to save only for making me come especially undone.
"Then, would it be so bad if she knows?" Hell yes, it would be bad. Magda is all about propriety and I don't think she would consider this at all proper.
"I honestly don't care what she thinks, but she does have the power to keep us apart. For good."
"Power?" I ask, taken aback. "Like mine?"
His mouth turns up at the corner and his eyes go a shade darker, if that's possible. "No. Not like yours. Your power is special; it's unlike anything I've ever seen. Unlike anything I've ever felt."
I blush harder than I ever have before. The heat pools under my skin and flows through my body, a cleansing ravenous fire that courses through me. Lex slips his arm under me and, in one fluid motion, pulls me on top of him so that I'm straddling his hips. He slides his hands up along the outside of my thighs until his palms rest on my hips just above the waistline of my low-rise jeans. I watch in silent awe as Lex's eyes fill with a needy, desperate hunger. A soft moan escapes my lips as his hands slip under my t-shirt and travel up my sides.
"Evan," he whispers, the desire fading into a different sort of neediness, a plain fear that pierces my heart, "please don't forget about me."
My own eyes go wide with surprise. In all my insecurity I didn't once consider his. It never occurred to me that someone so dark and beautiful could be so vulnerable. I lean down, take his face in my hands, and press my lips to his. I aim for gentle and reassuring but my mouth is quick to
yield to his and the kiss quickly deepens. The passion rips through me and it's thrilling, but it's also scary as hell. I pull back and rest my head in the curve of his neck while we both catch our breath. He holds on to me tightly as I tremble.
"Never," I whisper, fierce and breathless, "never."
.
The sky is a soft blur of pink and copper as we make our way back to the house hand in hand. I'm putting on a brave front, but inside I'm falling apart. Watching Lex pack his things was torture. We barely even know each other but I can't bear the thought of being separated from him for so long. I try to drag my feet, but the walk is still too short.
When we get to the house Lex holds open the door for me and we enter the kitchen. Anders is sitting at the large butcher block island eating a sandwich. Thelma is fawning over him, gushing about how happy she is to see him. I shoot him an icy glare and start to walk by when Anders stands quickly and blocks my path. I have to physically bite my tongue to keep from taking out my anger and frustration on him, don't kill the messenger and all that.
"Let me introduce myself, I'm Anders Drewe." He holds out his hand and I take it reluctantly, giving him a weak shake.
"Evan," I reply tersely.
"Nice to meet you, Evan."
I drop his hand and he grins. "You too."
I glance at Lex out of the corner of my eye and see him watching us, his expression difficult to read.
"Well," I say in as bright a voice as I can manage as I sidestep him and continue to toward the door, "we'll let you get back to your sandwich."
Lex takes my hand as he walks past me, causing Anders easy grin to fade and morph into a scowl. Who knows what his problem is. I suppress a sigh and let Lex lead me from the room, focusing on nothing but his hand in mine. We're walking so close together that I can feel the cell phone in his pocket buzz against my hip. Lex ignores it, his eyes fixed on me. When we get to the entryway we pause and I look at him questioningly.
"Wanna come upstairs?" I ask, managing to keep my insecurities out of my voice.
Lex squeezes my hand and rubs the back of his neck, a now familiar nervous tick. "I can't," he says simply.
"Why?"
"I have to go." His expression is pained. I refuse to acknowledge the meaning behind his words.
"But, you have a few more hours, right?" I grip his hand tighter but he gently pries it from mine.
Lex moves in front of me and places his hands on either side of my face.
"Evangeline," he breathes, resting his forehead against mine. "I will not rest until I return to you. I swear it." His voice has a hard, determined edge to it and his words touch me to the core. I choke down a sob and tilt my face up so our lips meet. Our kiss is pained and gentle. I taste the bitter saltiness of tears that aren't mine.
"Close your eyes," he whispers, pulling back slightly from the kiss.
"Lex.."
"Close your eyes," he insists gently.
I squeeze my eyes shut tight and feel a gentle breeze against my face.
"Evan?" I hear Anders call from somewhere behind me. My eyes flutter open; Lex is gone. I look down at my hand, which I realize is clenched. Slowly I unfold my fingers revealing the familiar contours of my pendant. I run my thumb over the smooth stone, expecting to feel the usual spark of electricity. Instead, I feel nothing.
Chapter Ten
With Lex gone I can feel myself starting to slip into my old mindset, picking up some of the habits I'd forgotten in the wake of my parents' death. Bad habits. The first bad thing I do is pilfer all the liquor I can from various bar carts and cabinets scattered throughout the estate. The second bad thing I do is call Jessie. Jessie is the kind of girl who knew everyone anywhere that likes to party. If she doesn't, she knows who to call to find out. She isn't in Price five minutes before she finds a party for us to go to. Jessie is also the reason I got sent to an all girl private school in my sophomore year, but that's another story.
"Evan, I can't believe you waited so long to call me," Jessie pouts as she gazes at me with mock sternness. I roll my eyes and take a long drag off the joint she brought. I'm not used to smoking anymore and it burns. I clear my throat to stifle a cough.
"I'm sorry, Jess. I was just going through some shit," I reply lamely. If I were honest, I would have told her it didn't even occur to me to call her until I had no one else. I take another drag to numb the guilt.
"It's okay. I just feel bad that I couldn't be there for you." She casts me a sympathetic look and returns to her rapid texting, the subject already settled in her mind. With a sigh, she tosses her phone onto the coffee table and bounces up. She proceeds to wander around my room touching things as she passes.
"I can't believe you live here," she says, the tone of her voice equally bored and impressed, something only Jessie can pull off.
"I know, right?" I look away and try to focus on something else, but my mind has gone somewhat foggy.
"This town sucks though," she says with another sigh.
The silence between us is heavy with unspoken thoughts, but, luckily, it's momentary. Jessie's phone goes off, causing it to nearly vibrate off the coffee table. Jessie squeals and snatches it up.
"Finally," she exhales, her lips turning up in a satisfied smirk. Her fingers hurriedly tap out a response to whoever is on the other end. I wonder who she could possibly know here, but I'm already stoned to apathy, so I don't give it much thought.
"Okay. We lucked out. There's a party in the woods just a few miles from here," she announces, bouncing up and down in her excitement.
It sounds sketchy, but I'm past caring; I just want to get fucked up and forget all of the messed up things going on in my life.
The joint is burnt down to the nub and it scalds my fingers as I suck out the last of it. I hold the smoke in my lungs until they scream at me. The flame in the gas lamp on my desk flickers. I exhale and stub the roach out on the coffee table.
.
The cool night air snakes across my bare skin making me shiver. I'm starting to regret wearing only a skimpy black tank top and jeans. I reach up and unfasten my barrette, letting my hair fall over my shoulders. It provides little relief from the cold.
Jessie whistles. "Wow," she says, "your hair is so long now."
I look down to where the ends of my hair fall a few inches below my waist. "Yeah, I guess." I glance at Jessie who is walking a few feet in front of me. "And yours is so blonde," I comment taking in her freshly bleach blonde hair that's cut at a stylish angle just above her shoulders.
"Yeah, I was getting sick of the red. This girl I know, who's in beauty school, hooked me up."
We lapse into silence and continue to pick our way through the dark trees. Jessie and I have been walking for ten minutes into the woods near the edge of town. It had been tricky getting out without a chaperone. I let Jessie do all the talking since she's capable of being more charming than I am in tricky situations. Luckily, Anders is out of town, because he's been breathing down my neck and wouldn't let me get away with this; the rest of the staff is a bit more easygoing.
The buzz is starting to wear off and I'm left with a sick, achy feeling. I don't want to be tramping through the woods headed to some hick party, not really. I want Lex. I press my lips together and force his face from my mind. It's been two weeks since he left and I still haven't heard from him.
"Look," Jessie says suddenly.
I stop short, almost slamming into Jessie's back. She steps aside so I can see the flickering light of a fire up ahead. I take a deep breath and follow her through the trees.
The party Jessie promised appears to be nothing more than a dozen drunk townies sitting around a campfire in the middle of the woods. They all stare at us when we enter the clearing. Jessie just smiles and picks out the biggest, prettiest, dumbest looking guy and turns her charm all the way up.
I skulk in the background, unsure of myself. It's like freshman year all over again, when Jessie and I first met. I had snuck out to see a local band play
in a bar. The bouncer wouldn't let me in so I ended up sitting on the curb trying not to cry. That's where Jessie found me and took pity on me. She snuck me in the back and I went on to have one of the greatest nights of my life.
After that first night we mostly went to see bands in bars. I went for the music, Jessie for the boys. My parents had no clue what we were up to half the time. I felt bad for lying to them, but I didn't think they would understand or approve. To them I was a hard working, well-rounded, model student. The perfect daughter. They didn't have an inkling of the darkness inside of me that sits like a depthless pool waiting to drag me in.
Music was the only thing that kept me from the edge and, for a while, it worked. But that darkness let Jessie pull me in, and then it was drugs and alcohol. I managed to stave off sex. It wasn't love I wanted, only emptiness. My parents' death had left me numb, but Lex had brought me back to life. Since he's been gone, all of the weak and vulnerable feelings that I managed to avoid are here in full force leaving me open to the terrible melancholy that has lived with me always and I'm back where I started: looking for a cheap thrill to keep life and emotion at bay. It isn't right and I know it. Still, I go along, waiting to see what will happen. I left the necklace at home but, somehow, I can still feel it burning against my skin, a fervent warning that I ignore.
After talking with the guy for a while, Jessie saunters back to me. "I guess we're early. The real party starts at midnight," she says with a shrug.
"Midnight? What the fuck, Jess. I can't stay out that late."
"Please. You've been locked up in that museum for, like, two months. You need to have some fun." She puts on a fake pout which is unnecessary: I already know I'm going to give in because the idea of going back to the estate and lying in bed, where the only thing there is to do is think of Lex, my parents, and where the hell I'm going in life, terrifies me.
Evan Elemental (The Evan Elemental Series) Page 7
