Connor took a deep breath and squeezed Jessa closer.
“Everyone okay in here?” a voice called from the doorway.
Alex shielded his eyes against the flashing lights. “That you, Parelli?”
“Yeah, who do you have in there, Alex?”
“It’s just me, Connor, our waitress and six guys we would appreciate some help ejecting from the bar.”
Parelli chuckled and called orders to the rest of the officers on scene before walking inside the bar. Connor nodded a silent greeting to the middle-aged beat cop. Parelli was a good guy. He never gave Connor any crap about his past, unlike several of the others he’d dealt with in other situations.
“So, what happened?”
Alex quickly outlined their adventures. Connor remained silent, Jessa still wrapped in his embrace.
“You should go upstairs,” he murmured. “You can grab some of my clothes from the apartment and wash up.”
She fisted her hands in his torn shirt. “No, I don’t want to leave you.”
She could’ve demanded anything in that tone of voice, and he would’ve complied. Her soft eyes begged, and she was nibbling her lower lip. Connor suspected she was starting to come down from her adrenaline high.
“Your clothes are a mess,” Connor reminded her gently. “Just go up and get something to put on. You can come right back.”
She buried her face in his chest. “No,” she said, her voice muffled.
“Here, take this.” Alex shucked out of his pinstriped button down shirt and tossed it in her direction.
Connor started to pull away from Jessa. “No, she can wear mine.”
Alex shook his head and chuckled. Connor resisted the urge to hit him. After all, it wasn’t Alex’s fault that Connor couldn’t stand the thought of seeing Jessa wearing any man’s clothes but his.
“Your shirt is covered in blood and just as torn as hers, Connor. Get a grip, mate.”
Connor didn’t respond to Alex’s comment. But he backed away from Jessa long enough for her to pull Alex’s shirt over the torn remnants of her cotton camisole.
Blood, bodies, and a woman in his arms, how accurately could history repeat itself?
“Connor, you feeling okay? You look like you could use a medic,” Parelli drawled as he approached, clipboard in hand.
“Just some blood and dirt, Parelli, you know how it goes.”
The beat cop smiled, “Yeah, all in a day’s work for Connor Archuleta and his Phoenix Rising.”
“So, what do you think?” Alex prodded.
“I think I’m going to have to ask all three of you to come down to fill out a statement.”
Connor and Alex exchanged glances.
“I’ll lock up and follow you two down,” Alex murmured.
Jessa’s hazel eyes were wide with fear. The knuckles clutching the front of his shirt were white. When Jessa nibbled her lip, Connor realized how pale she’d gone.
“Hey.” His gravel voice rasped through her tension. “They just want a full statement of what happened so they’ll know what to do with those pieces of shit.”
“Are you sure?” she whispered, casting an uneasy glance at Parelli. “What if they try to put you in jail?”
“Don’t worry sweetheart, I was just doing my job. This is all routine, I promise.”
Parelli offered Jessa a warm smile. “We aren’t going to lock him up, Ms. Kincaid. I’ve known Connor a long time. We’re well past all of that.”
Chapter Nineteen
Connor grimaced as an EMT probed the cut over his eye. The man was trying to decide if Connor needed to drop by an emergency room for stitches. Jessa paced anxiously nearby, wringing her hands.
There weren’t words to express how sorry Connor was that Jessa had to go through all of this.
“He’s going to be just fine,” the middle-aged EMT assured her.
The sound of torn adhesive made her pause in her energetic trek across the room. Connor winced as the edges of his skin were pulled together. Gentle fingers applied the steri-strips to keep the cut closed. Connor sighed. At least there wouldn’t be a need for sutures.
Connor was grateful for the EMT’s understanding nature. He’d asked Jessa a few very probing questions in quiet tones before reassuring her that there wasn’t going to be any need for an invasive rape exam. Connor had been more relieved than Jessa to hear that bit of news. If she’d actually been raped on the floor of his bar, the beast screaming inside Connor’s psyche would’ve torn the station apart trying to kill the bastards who’d touched her.
The EMT snagged Jessa’s hand on her way past and tugged her into the seat beside Connor. “Relax honey. I’m going to go report back to Parelli. I’m sure he’ll be along in a few minutes to finish up.”
Connor wrapped one arm around Jessa’s slight frame and tucked her into his big body. Having given up his tattered dress shirt to Parelli as evidence, he’d been left in one of the black cotton tank tops Jessa liked so well.
“I don’t want you to go back to jail, Connor,” Jessa whimpered, face pressed against his chest.
Hang on, had she just said “go back?”
“Why did you never tell me about the time you spent in prison, Connor?”
“It’s not a nice story.”
“I wouldn’t have cared.”
Her acceptance didn’t bring peace. Connor turned and pegged her with a lethal gaze. “I did five years for attempted murder, Jessa.”
“You’re not a cold-blooded killer. Nothing could make me believe you really meant to kill someone, Connor. I know you. You might toe the line. But you’ve got your limits.”
Her quiet faith in his innate humanity was Connor’s undoing. This woman had just watched him brutally incapacitate six men and yet she was convinced she knew him to be worthy of trust.
He didn’t deserve a woman like Jessa.
Connor didn’t care anymore. He wasn’t good enough for Jessa Kincaid. But living without her was unacceptable. Alex’s warning made so much more sense right then than before. Alex had suspected Jessa of knowing the truth. Now Connor was put into the position of having to tell her something ugly when they were already surrounded by reminders of past wrongs.
Damn his arrogant pride. It was time to do something to make himself worthy of Jessa. It was time to tell her the truth.
“Connor?”
“It was a long time ago, Jessa. I was only a kid.”
“But it happened to you. That makes it important. Everything that happens is what makes you who you are. Didn’t you say that about me and Will?”
So he had.
“I loved Melanie like a blind fool and she played me as if I were one.”
He couldn’t fathom the hurt that filled her eyes at this admission. It wasn’t as if he loved Melanie any more. The bitch could rot in hell for all he cared. Not that he wanted to shock Jessa with that blunt confession.
Her voice was whisper soft. “What happened?”
“She cheated on me. When I caught her in a lie, she claimed she’d been raped by the guy.” Understanding dawned in her eyes and Connor felt real hope for the first time that night.
“You were punishing him for what he did to her and didn’t stop until you realized she’d been lying.”
Connor nodded. “She started screaming when I knocked him out cold and kept going. When she realized I was going to keep on until he was dead, she admitted what she’d done. By that time it was too late and I was on my way to jail.”
“A jury convicted you for that?”
“It was a pretty brutal assault, Jessa. I had no right to do what I did.”
It pleased him to hear her defense of his actions regardless of how inexcusable they’d been at the time. She pressed her face into his chest and wept dry, racking sobs. Connor held her and let her vent. He couldn’t imagine what she must be feeling after a night full of shocking revelations. The rest would be up to Jessa.
“I’m sorry, Jessa. I don’t talk about the past much. And
I never would’ve picked this moment to confess my sins.”
“It doesn’t matter, Connor. I don’t care what happened before. I’ve never cared.”
“You say that now, but what I did is something that can’t be erased.”
A voice raised in anger at the counter outside their little interview room caught Connor’s attention. Still cradling Jessa, he lifted his head for a better view.
The noise came from a slender man with short brown hair sticking out at all angles. He was screaming in the face of the desk sergeant and waving his manicured hands about in frantic circles. A terrible suspicion began to grow in Connor’s mind. When the sergeant left the desk and headed for their door with the little man in tow, it was confirmed.
“Uh, excuse me, Ms. Kincaid.” The sergeant smiled apologetically. “There’s a man out here who claims to be your husband.”
Jessa lifted her head away from Connor just as the door went flying open. Her mouth formed a round O of surprise.
“Will! What are you doing here?”
“What am I doing here?” he snapped angrily. “What the hell are you doing here? I said I was done giving you space, Jessa. This is ridiculous! I will not let you make a laughingstock out of me with this,” he looked at Connor, “low life!”
Connor quirked an eyebrow. “Watch yourself, little man.”
Will’s face turned a brilliant shade of purple and he lunged at Jessa, grabbing her arm. She had no choice but to follow her limb as Will dragged it away from Connor.
“Wait!” she yelped. “What are you doing?”
“Taking you home!”
Connor shot to his feet, fists clenched at his sides. “I don’t think you have any right to come in here and give orders after filing for divorce.”
“Divorce? Is that what she told you?” Will straightened. “I’ve got no intention of divorcing my wife. I’ve tried to give her some space. But I can’t let her destroy herself with some ex-con like you! A little over a month in your company, and look what I have to bail her out of!”
The color drained from Jessa’s face. The arm she’d been stretching out toward Connor dropped abruptly. Her hand curled and fisted as she emitted a high sound of protest. Her hazel eyes frantically locked with his hell-black gaze, trying desperately to reach him. But Connor had drawn inward the instant he heard Will’s fevered words.
Jessa had lied? How could she have lied about everything? Every touch, every look, every word from her sweet mouth was a lie!
“Then get her the fuck out of here,” Connor snarled, his tone the only evidence of his internal agony.
* * *
“Wow, Jessa, you really know how to pick them.”
The naked derision in Will’s voice barely penetrated Jessa’s dissociative retreat into her mind. She huddled in the front of Will’s luxury sedan with her arms locked around her knees, rocking back and forth in the bucket seat.
“Kitty told Chase he looked dangerous.” Will whistled. “I had no idea how right she was. You’re lucky he didn’t rape and kill you before dumping your body in the river.”
Jessa remained silent. She couldn’t speak. The picture of Connor’s face was too fresh in her memory. Will had made her seem like such a liar. How could Connor have reacted any differently? After Melanie had betrayed him all those years ago, it was no wonder he didn’t seem to believe Jessa would be any different.
“Where the hell did you get these clothes you’re wearing? Did you rob some hooker’s apartment? God, I was embarrassed to walk out of there with you!”
Apparently, he only liked wild mistresses. His wife was supposed to be boring as hell. An odd development since he’d listed bedroom boredom as a reason for leaving her.
Will’s behavior still baffled Jessa. He hadn’t wanted her. He’d made that obvious when he’d carefully laid out the final arrangements for the demise of their nineteen-year marriage. He hadn’t once said he wanted to keep her on the shelf in case things with Ginny didn’t work out although that had evidently been his intention.
“I’m sorry I left you, Jessa doll. You knew it wasn’t for good.” Will peered into her face. “You knew that, right?”
She wanted to spit on him. She wanted to reach over and strangle him. To make him crash the car so both of them would die in the twisted mass of metal.
What about Connor?
Would he ever let her explain? Would he ever believe her? How could he when there had been so much withholding and miscommunication between them?
It seemed only minutes from the police station to their driveway. The massive house was lit up like Christmas. Jessa didn’t want to get out. Didn’t want to go inside and face that house.
“Go on inside to the bedroom. Marissa has a bath drawn for you.”
Marissa, the housekeeper Will had fired right before leaving Jessa so he wouldn’t have to pay her salary. It was as if Will wanted to pretend nothing had ever happened.
It would be easier to sink back into that life. Simpler to forget Connor and Alex and all of her ridiculous pipe dreams about a man who more than likely hated her now, anyway. With Connor seemingly unattainable, wasn’t it better just to retreat to her old life?
She trudged to the top of the steps and into the master suite. Jessa’s favorite combat boots took forever to unlace and kick aside. The remnants of her stockings made no noise as she slid them off and dropped them to the posh carpet. Jessa slid her short black skirt down over her hips and then reached over her head to remove Alex’s shirt.
She held the pinstriped white and blue material tightly in her hands before lifting it to her face and inhaling deeply. If Jessa closed her eyes, she could picture Phoenix Rising. The shirt smelled of whisky, smoke, and Alex’s personal musk. A scent she’d come to know second only to Connor’s dominating male fragrance.
Tears prickled her eyes.
“Ms. Jessa?” Marissa waddled in and began tsking as she hustled Jessa toward the enormous tub overfilled with hot water and scented bubbles.
Jessa sank into the welcome heat and let it soothe away the physical aches and pains of the night. Nothing could fix the throbbing space in her heart where Connor was still firmly lodged.
She might as well get used to the gilded prison. She had nowhere else to go. With Connor at her back, she might’ve had a prayer. But after Will so cleverly portrayed her as nothing more than a lying whore with a forked tongue, how could Connor ever trust her?
Forget trust, Connor had never gotten over Melanie. It was obvious in the way he spoke of her. He’d admitted to loving his childhood sweetheart, something he still hadn’t ever said of Jessa. Then, instead of showing him how much she loved him, Jessa had followed in Melanie’s footsteps of betrayal. If ever there’d been a chance for the two of them, it was gone now. Will had made certain of that.
Jessa’s agony erupted in a gut-wrenching moan as she cradled her face in her hands and wept bitter tears. If she’d only taken the time to be completely honest with Connor. Instead, they’d both been too busy protecting themselves to worry about honesty. Now Jessa was left to sink back into the numb reality of her endless marriage to Will.
Clamping her jaw shut on her pain, Jessa stood. Water sloshed over the edge of the tub and left a trail of bubbles across the tile floor. Jessa ignored the mess. She reached for a towel and stepped out. It was time to face the music.
Bedtime was horrible. Jessa dressed head to toe in pajamas before exiting the bathroom. It felt weird to climb into bed with clothes on. Weirder still was seeing Will’s boring face staring intently at the television while he watched some Learning Channel special.
Will completely ignored her. It was a mixed blessing, as Jessa didn’t have to make ridiculous excuses not to let him touch her. But it made her miss Connor more fiercely than ever.
Jessa wanted his arms wrapped securely around her. Especially on a night like this, when so many horrifying things had happened all at once. Jessa wanted his mouth on her skin and his cock deep inside her pussy. She wa
nted him closer than close, to make him come deep inside her body and fill her with his essence until there was no way to tell where she stopped and Connor began.
* * *
Alex frowned when he spotted Connor sitting alone on the bench. “Where the hell is Jessa? Did they have to take her to the ER for a rape exam?”
“No.” Connor didn’t expand. He heaved his aching body off the chair and walked away, forcing Alex to follow or be left behind. He’d aged a hundred years that night. Nothing in his life would ever be the same again. Jessa had gone, and she’d taken everything good in his life with her.
“Connor, wait!” Alex grabbed his arm.
“She left, Alex, with her husband. I think it’s a safe bet that we won’t see her around the bar again.”
Alex’s shock showed in his expression as he trailed along in Connor’s wake toward the car.
“Get in,” Connor demanded, sliding into the driver’s seat.
Alex hurriedly closed the door behind him and pulled the seatbelt over his shoulder. “You can’t leave it like this, Connor.”
“You know he’s not even filing for divorce?”
“Yeah, I suspected as much this afternoon. Jessa was pretty upset about it when she came in.”
It took a moment for Connor to digest this information. “Wait, you knew? And you didn’t think to mention it?”
“Why do you think I was pushing you to come clean with her?”
“How would telling her about my past have avoided this? Her husband never wanted to leave her. It was all a lie.”
“I can’t believe that, Connor.” Alex frowned. “I think he did leave her. That was what drove her to us and especially to you. You knew she went home for a few days to sort things out with a lawyer. She called Terry. I know she did because I’ve talked to him since.”
“I never should’ve fucking let her outta my sight!” Connor growled, knuckles white on the steering wheel.
“I swear Connor, you’re all gut reaction and no brain. Think for a minute, will you? I know she didn’t lie about her intention to get a divorce. You know it wasn’t her choice to begin with. Why would she lie? What did she have to gain? She loves you.”
Phoenix Rising Page 16
