by Belle Brooks
“What?” Turning my head towards Willard, I wait for a response, but he says nothing. He only smiles.
“Mum.” I try to twist my head to see her, but I can’t quite get my body to turn with this stupid oxygen tank between my legs.
“We all know, May. We have known from the very first moment Willard learnt about these drugs.”
“Okay, then. This is just great.”
Mum laughs before saying, “One in, all in.”
The nursery looks so beautiful when I’m pushed through the doorway by Streeter. Soft pink walls, white furniture and pink, lime and brown finishings. Stencilled on the wall in the colour chocolate is a Willow tree. Under this tree is an inscription that says, A mother’s love is never lost because it beats with the heart of her child. Then underneath it says, Mummy and Daddy created perfection in you, Willow. Nodding my head, I place my hand over my mouth and cry. Her room is fit for a princess and my family has done me proud.
Will helps me into the rocking chair as Streeter holds the oxygen tank out of his way. “The Way You Look Tonight” by Frank Sinatra begins to play from a record player on her duchess, the one Willard’s Mum owned. Dad, who is holding Willow, passes her down to me as Gem takes a beautifully knitted pink blanket and places it over the top of us. Once Sylvia takes a few snapshots with her camera, Lexi passes over a little pink beanie for me to cover Willow’s head, and then I’m left with my husband in my daughter’s nursery to rock her in this chair for the first and last time. I say not a word and sob gently, listening to Willard sing along to a song I have treasured for most of my life.
After I pass Willow to her daddy’s awaiting arms, I watch Will gently lower her into her cot before tucking her in.
“Come on, Mummy.” I’m carried to our marital bed where I stare at my Willard for God knows how long…long enough that I could never forget his face. Every kiss he bestows upon my skin brings an array of emotions. I don’t want to say goodbye, but I’m feeling sicker by the second.
“I’m proud of you, Maybelline.” His voice strains as tears trickle from his eyes and he inhales a sharp breath.
“I’m so proud of you, Willard. You are so strong and brave. I couldn’t have done any of this without you.” I can barely breathe when I tell him this. It’s not because of lack of oxygen but because of the pain I’m experiencing, which is causing me to clench my teeth.
“Together forever, no matter the weather.”
“No matter the weather.”
“It’s time, isn’t it?” His tears increase as his eyes search mine. Willard must see the agony I’m in on my face. It has to be the reason he came to ask this question now.
“It is. I’m so sorry, Willard, but I need to go to the tree now.” I try so hard not to cry, but I can’t hold them back.
“Okay,” he sobs before taking my lips to his and kissing me with every ounce of love he has for me in his heart. When his lips leave mine, I place my fingers against them while he brushes away my tears. “I’ll get everything ready and let everyone come say goodbye.”
One by one, I get the opportunity to hug and tell the people who have supported me throughout my life how much they mean to me, how deep my love runs for all of them. It is the hardest moment so far, but at least I get such an opportunity. So many don’t.
I’m not sure if it’s pure exhaustion I’m feeling now, but when my body is lifted into the car I am completely calm.
The afternoon wind is subtle but has a slight nip to it as it brushes across my cheek and rustles at the bottom of my black maxi dress.
Dad whispers, “I love you, slugger,” as he lowers me from his arms onto one of the blankets laid out facing mine and Willard’s special tree. Fixing my coat into place, Dad runs his fingers across my cheek and offers me a comforting smile. I needed to see his smile right now.
Lexi soon kneels beside me with Willow securely in her arms, she’s so gentle in placing her to my chest. “I love you, May.” She smiles through her tears before leaving a soft brush of her lips to mine.
“Let me fix your pillow.” Gem’s voice is almost inaudible as she grazes my forehead with her lips and fixes the pillow behind my head before kissing me once more.
Placing another blanket over Willow, Mum puts her hands on either side of my face and croaks, “I have always cherished you, May. I will always love you,” before kissing my lips for what will be the last time.
The sound of scuffling has my eyes shifting from Willow’s beanie to the tree. Streeter, Willard, and John-John were gathered around the trunk when Dad carried me from the car. I know that Will’s added another engraving. I’m not sure I want to know what it says, though.
When Will lies down beside me the reality of the situation increases and for a split second I shake from a sense of panic and doom. That is until Willard tips my chin to the side with his finger and kisses me, extinguishing all my fear with this love.
“The day my May says goodbye,” he speaks against my lips while looking deep into my eyes.
“At our tree.”
“At our tree.”
“Willard, will you still love me in the morning?”
His lip trembles when he says, “And every day after, every single day after.”
Sitting up, Will places his hand inside his jacket.
“No. Not yet. Just lie with me.” I know the medication is in his jacket pocket. I saw him put it in there before we left.
“Okay, when you’re ready, everybody is here and stretched out on the blankets like you wanted.” His entire body is trembling as he lies back down and places his arm over the top of baby Willow and me.
Staring into Willard’s eyes, I watch every drop of salty liquid escaping them. I wonder if I’m shedding as many as him. “I’m just going to close my eyes for a little while first,” I mumble.
“I’ll be here, when you open them.”
“I know you will. I love you, Willard.”
“I love you, Maybelline.”
Kissing my daughter, I whisper, “Mummy loves you, forever and ever no matter the weather, Willow.” Glancing back at our tree one more time I smile before turning my attention back to Will. He’s quick to press his lips to mine and I moan softly in response. The smell of eucalyptus combined with the fresh afternoon air has always been one of my favourite scents. It’s not far behind the smell of Willard’s cologne and now the smell of our daughter. With this scent comes replays of Willard and me growing up. My smile grows when I picture us running around this very tree as kids and as my eyes fold closed I take one relaxed breath and float away with my Willard.
Willard
Watching the branches of the Willow trees dance, I think of Maybelline running freely, giggling as she goes. It’s strange that it’s been nearly two years since she left us and I wish for her presence every day. Willow is so much like her mother, it’s uncanny really. The only look in I got was the colour of her eyes. The rest is Maybelline, there’s no doubting it. Thinking back to the afternoon May said goodbye to us in the park under our tree, I still find myself wondering how she knew that when she closed her eyes, it would be the end of her life. I waited so long for her to open them again, long after her arms fell away and I took Willow from her chest. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone as peaceful as May was that day and I truly believe she’s still with me even though I can no longer have her in my arms. In life she gave me so much love and in death she gave me life…she gave me Willow.
High-pitched squeals echo throughout the empty sky snapping me from my thoughts. Glancing upwards I’m met by a flying Willow, Dad’s thrown into the air. I can’t help smiling as our family fusses over this little girl. Willow’s first trip to the USA has gone well so far. It has definitely helped having all these extra hands. Adorning our Fuck-It Bucket List shirts, we complete the last item on Maybelline’s list. It took us nearly two years to do so, but we never gave up hope of getting here.
Placing a single red rose under the biggest Willow tree I can find, I join our n
ow huddled group of Mum, Dad, John, Cliff, Lexis, Lexi, Gem, and Streeter as I take Willow into my arms. Dad starts the count down from ten, ten for Willow’s benefit before we yell, “Number four. Go to America and play under a willow tree with my grown-up version of Willard.” Laughter booms shortly after as I close my eyes and whisper, “We made it, babe.”
A massive thank you from the bottom of my heart to: Kylee Harris, Liz Lovelock, Kirsty Roworth, Caroline Dayas, Jakarra Adams, Natalya Bryan, Shaelene Adams, Emma Banter, Donna Martin, Tracey Davis Zelukovic, Amber Luttke, Rhonda Tractor, Megan Wheeler, Robin Yatsko, Halle Rogers, Kim Latham, Shay Bell, Candace Dowds, Dzintra Sullivan, Rebecca Barber, Nicola Chiappinelli, Tammy Coffey, Jodi Perry, Margaret McHeyzer, Tina Marie Clark and so many more. I’m sure I’ve missed some of you and I’m so sorry if I have. You guys rock my world.
To my husband Michael, whom I love dearly. It’s always been you, baby.
To my beautiful children, whom are the keepers of my soul. I love you to the moon and back.
To my wonderful team of talented and creative people: Karen Harper, Emily A. Lawrence, Max Henry, and Marisa-rose Shor. You ladies have a talent beyond belief and I’m so grateful to share this journey with you.
To the wonderful team of talented and creative people at The Owl Branch Book Promotions for such an incredible book trailer.
Lastly, I’d like to thank everybody who has helped to promote my work. To all the bloggers, Enticing Journey Book Promotions for a wonderful promotional campaign, and to all the readers. Without the readers there’d be no purpose for these stories.
Thirty Days: Part One
Thirty Days: Part Two
Finding the Magician
Belle Brooks is a former business manager, wife, and mother of three, living in Queensland, Australia. For as long as she can remember, writing has been a major part of her life, bringing her peace and comfort in the arms of her fictional characters. Never planning to have her work published, she focused her attention on her career and family. That is until she finally found the courage to allow her words to become public for others to enjoy, due mainly to the encouragement and support of those who love her. Always You, is her fourth publication.
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Table of Contents
Table of Contents
Title Page
Dedication
Note to the Reader
One
Two
Three
Four
Five
Six
Seven
Eight
Nine
Ten
Eleven
Twelve
Thirteen
Fourteen
Fifteen
Sixteen
Seventeen
Eighteen
Nineteen
Twenty
Twenty-One
Twenty-Two
Twenty-Three
Twenty-Four
Twenty-Five
Twenty-Six
Twenty-Seven
Twenty-Eight
Twenty-Nine
Acknowledgements
Also by Belle
About the Author
