Willa.
“This is for her,” I said. “I’ve been working on this for so long and, to be honest, I never really wanted to finish. She’d never been to the shed, but every time I worked on it, it made me feel so close to her and I didn’t want that feeling to end.”
I felt her gently squeeze my hand. “Logan, thank you for sharing this with me. It really means a lot.” I looked at her and saw that all the anger had now disappeared. She looked at me as she had before and her eyes hadn’t lost their innocence.
But, there was more to be said. So, I pulled us both up to stand. I closed my eyes for a brief second and drew in a deep breath. “I need to tell you something else. Something I’ve never told anyone. I just couldn’t bear it.”
“Tell me what?” she said, softly.
The familiar feeling threatened to overwhelm me, but I forced it aside. I’d overcome guilt’s venom and bringing Caitlyn here, tonight, was the last step I needed to take to rid my soul of every last drop of it. I wasn’t about to back down.
“I blamed myself for Willa’s death for a very long time.”
I could see the disbelief in her eyes, her mouth opening in surprise. “What do you mean? Why?” she asked.
“That day, when she died, I’d promised her that I’d take her out on the lake, but I was in bed with a woman whose name I couldn’t even remember, sleeping off the hangover from the previous night,” I said, bitterly. “And, I forgot. I guess she must have been pissed at me as she took the boat out herself, even though she should have known better. I’d taught her better. She knew she was too young to go it alone. Fuck, she was only ten years old!”
I stopped to take another deep breath, determined to free myself of this dark secret.
“I kept telling myself that if I was there like we arranged, the boom would have never swung across and hit her, leaving her unconscious. And even if it did, I could have been there to pull her out of the water when she fell in.”
The words still stung, but I could feel the relief at uttering them. I felt salty tears prickle my eyes, but I didn’t care. I didn’t want to hide anything from Caitlyn any longer. I wanted to share my deepest sorrow and my highest joy with her, holding nothing back.
“No one knew and I didn’t tell them, either. I didn’t want to add to their pain and didn’t want to face their anger. I ran away from it all like a coward.”
Caitlyn closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around my waist. She rested her head against my chest and held me as my tears fell into her hair.
“Building this boat helped me deal with all the hurt and guilt without having to talk about how I felt. I needed to do this on my own and when it became too much, yes, I drank and fought and fucked around. But, I kept at it. I dealt with it. In my own way and that’s what no one understood. It was my sorrow to bear and mine to work through, just as you said. And I did. I finally got to the place where I realized that it’s not my fault. Willa was so headstrong and so damned determined. If it was anyone else having stood her up that day, she’d just gone and done exactly the same. And even if I’d been there, I don’t know what might have happened. I couldn’t know.”
I pulled away from our embrace just enough to look her in the eyes.
“But, I finally finished a few weeks ago and I did it, Caitlyn. I let it go.”
I stretched out one hand and placed my palm against the wood. “I was so damn angry at her for doing what she did and for leaving me. But, this boat tells her that I’m not angry anymore. That I can now just celebrate her life instead of mourning her death.”
I drew Caitlyn close to me again, holding on to her tightly. I knew her silence wasn’t because she didn’t have anything to say. It was because she knew how important it was for me to get everything out into the light.
And I loved her for it.
We stood there for what felt like hours, holding each other and crying, sharing in something so much deeper that words were superfluous. When we eventually broke apart, her face was as wet as mine was, and we laughed as we wiped away each other’s tears.
“I love you,” I said, not wanting to waste any more time, and she started crying again. “And I’m sorry for what I said when I left. I was a fucking asshole and a coward, and I hope you can forgive me as I really don’t want to start having to build another boat just to get over you, too.”
She laughed through the tears but didn’t say anything, still giving me the time to finish what I wanted to say.
“I’m not asking you to stay,” I continued. “That’s your decision. But what I am asking you is to give me another chance. Help me figure out how this is going to work, as I cannot bear another moment not knowing that you’re part of my future. Fuck, Burlington is thirty minutes away. We can make this work. Just say, yes, sweetheart.”
She looked up at me and smiled, placing her hands on either side of my face. “I’ve never stopped loving you and saying it now is as true as the day I said it to you two months ago. So, yes, let’s figure this out. I don’t want to be without you for one more second, either.”
Everything around us seemed to disappear. Nothing else mattered but Caitlyn and having her in my arms again. I lowered my head to claim her mouth and groaned as my lips touched hers. She opened the buttons of my shirt, and I lifted her top over her head and, although the only comfortable place in the workshop was a battered old couch, it didn’t matter.
She kicked off her pants and straddled me, and I unhooked her bra and stroked her glorious breasts. When she guided me to the core of her, I felt her wetness against my fingers, and I moved them inside her until she pulled my hand away and reached into my jeans.
She pushed me inside her with a groan and she rocked over me, her nipples in my mouth as I held her back, her hair cascading down while we moved together as we were always meant to.
When she gripped my shoulders, I knew she was close and, as her moans became deeper and her hips moved faster, she grabbed my face and looked into my eyes. “You’ll never ride away from me again, Logan Steele,” she panted.
And, I knew she was right.
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
CAITLYN
†
THERE WAS A LIGHT drizzle and it made the water look like it was dancing. I could track the way the wind was blowing by the patterns left on the surface of the lake. It was hypnotic, and I was so busy watching it that I didn’t see Cheyenne walk up to the table. It was only when she pulled the chair out and the legs squeaked on the wooden floor that I knew she was there.
“This is a bit posh, don’t you think?” she asked, looking around. “Pretty sure I came here once for a wedding. I can’t remember.”
“I chose this place so that you wouldn’t feel inclined to throw anything at me,” I said, and I was only half joking.
“Wow, I thought it would be the other way around,” she said. “It’s not like I don’t feel bad about what I said when I caught you and Logan in the back of his truck. I mean, I don’t suppose it’s great to be interrupted in the middle of…”
“Oh, don’t worry,” I said. “We’d finished.”
She grimaced. “Gross.”
The waiter, in his stiff white shirt and black bowtie practically bowed as he came to our table and handed each of us a menu. “May I offer you ladies something to drink?” he asked.
“I’ll have a large beer,” Cheyenne said. “Hold the foam. Don’t go cheating me, now. Foam’s not beer.”
I stifled a laugh as the waiter practically blanched. He looked at me. “And for you, ma’am?”
“Well, that sounds just fine,” I said. “Same for me, please.”
He looked ever so disappointed as he walked away with our redundant wine glasses in his hands. Cheyenne grinned. “I’ve never known a place to be so up its own ass. I kind of imagine this is what it’s like to work at your place.”
“Oh, my place is ten times worse,” I said. “But I’m hoping that I won’t have to be there much longer.”
“Oh? You�
�ve only just started.”
“Yes, but I’m working on something of my own, so I might not be there for too long. Time will tell,” I said.
“Well, when you eventually do open your own place, let me be the first one you employ. I’ll even move,” Cheyenne said. “And I mean that, too. I swear to God, I’m getting so tired of serving sweaty burgers to sweaty truckers who leave me shitty tips. And then last week, one guy even slapped my ass.”
“I can promise you that nobody would slap your ass if you worked for me,” I said.
The waiter came over and brought our drinks, before asking whether we’d like to order. He gave us a tight smile and turned sharply on his heel when we said we weren’t and he should give us a few more minutes. Cheyenne and I looked at one another and giggled. Then we stopped.
“I missed you,” Cheyenne said.
“I missed you, too,” I replied. “I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you about Logan. Nobody knew. Well, I guess my dad guessed, but nobody else.”
“All this time I’ve been telling you to get laid,” she said “And, of all the people, you chose my brother. I probably should’ve guessed seeing that you had a crush on him… oh, since like forever.”
“Well, look who’s talking. Don’t you have something to tell me?” I teased. “Something about a certain polo-shirt-wearing-burger-flipper?”
She smiled and began rambling on about Parker. I didn’t mind. Just having my best friend sitting across from me once more was more than I could ask for. She told me how they finally had their first proper date the week after I left town, and that they’d been inseparable since then. In fact, they’d had such a great time together that he hadn’t played golf in nearly four weeks. I was stunned. I didn’t think it was possible that he’d ever give up the game. Guess I was wrong.
The waiter returned once more and again we sent him away with apologies, this time actually lifting our menus and opening them up. I started to look at what they had to offer when Cheyenne spoke again.
“What did you think of the boat?” she asked. “Logan showed me yesterday.”
“I loved it,” I said. “It’s the most beautiful tribute to Willa. What did you think of it?” I asked.
“I love it, too. At first, it upset me. You know, seeing her name written on the back, knowing she’d never get to sail it. Then Logan told me everything about why he’d been acting the way he had. He thought I’d blame him, but I don’t. It’s no one’s fault. I’m just so proud of him for what he did and now that I know better, I’m glad he did it in his own way, too.”
She took another sip of her drink and stared down at her glass. “Thanks for being so good to him. He seems so happy and I know how much he adores you. I’m really happy for the two of you.”
I just smiled, not wanting to risk the tears that suddenly filled my eyes to spill over if I did respond. We sat there in silence, sipping our beers.
“So, you still think that I think that I’m too good for this town?” I teased.
“Nah,” she said. “You’ll always belong here.”
“Well good, because I might just be your boss in say… three months’ time when I open up my new place back here, in Vergennes.”
CHAPTER THIRTY
LOGAN
†
“I’VE GOT A BONE to pick with you,” I said to Caitlyn as she opened the glass door, sliding it to one side before placing a platter of tartlets at the front of the chiller.
“Oh?”
“If my eyes are not deceiving me, there are no less than three vanilla sheet cakes. All with frosting and, I imagine, buttercream in the center, too. With sprinkles.”
“What’s your point?” she asked.
“How is it that you’ve made all these cakes today and yet you haven’t even offered me one single piece? What does a man have to do to get a little cake of his own around here?”
She looked up at me, smiling naughtily. “Well, you have your own sweet little thing any time you want. You don’t need cake.”
And she was right, of course. I grinned and kissed her. “How’s everything? Nearly done?”
“I think so,” she said. “I’ve got the timers on to take the croissants out of the oven and Cheyenne is busy making sure we have enough plates and forks and a large enough roll in the cash register,” she smiled. She looked around her and her face pulled into a frown.
“Oh, my God, Logan. I can’t believe it’s actually happening today. What if nobody shows up?”
“Of course they’ll show up,” I assured her. Ever since the sign had gone up in front of the bakery, people had been excited.
It’s not every day that a proprietor comes out of the big city to make a name for themselves in a small town. It usually goes the other way. But the beloved daughter of a beloved man of the law was always going to attract support and, even if she’d been a stranger here, then her cakes alone would have done all the talking.
“Who’s manning your shop?” she asked.
“My dad,” I said. “He’s trying to get me to give him a discount on the cherry bureau. I’m getting great pleasure from reminding him that this is the guy who made a pretty penny from having his own hardware store and yet still made me get a paper route to teach me to learn the value of money. I’m not knocking a single cent off that bureau for him.”
It was only a short walk down the street to my showroom. Wooden Steele had been open for two months, but already was doing such a roaring trade, that I’d found it hard to keep up. I already had to employ two staff members just so I could go back to actually making pieces so we had something to sell. But today, I’d given them a little time off. After all, everyone needs cake.
The crowds began to gather outside the door, and the mayor of Vergennes asked us to come outside. Proudly, I stood on the steps of Caitlyn’s new bakery and slipped an arm around her waist as a sharp pair of scissors made easy work of the blue ribbon.
“I’m happy to declare that The Sweetest Things is now officially open for business!”
The crowd of over one hundred came through the door and were immediately greeted by Cheyenne, who held out a platter on which lay an assortment of tiny treats, some made with fruit, others maple syrup, others fresh cream. Each one of them had been so carefully and lovingly crafted that there was more to their delicious flavor than anyone realized. I knew full well that nobody could have put anymore love into their creation, than Caitlyn.
She beamed with pride as all the free samples disappeared within minutes and, after that, hordes collected at the counter to order larger cakes and pastries to take home with them. Even I was recruited to help at the cash register, as Cheyenne was too busy wrapping up pasties and boxing cakes.
At one point, Bill came in, with Miss Shriver hanging onto his arm. He was glowing with pride. He winked at me with a questioning nod. I shook my head and he just smiled.
Then, when the noise had died down just enough for us to take a break, I walked into the kitchen at the rear of the shop to find Caitlyn filling a piping bag with fresh cream.
“I’ve got fond memories of that thing,” I said, and she blushed. A strand of hair had fallen down from under her hat, and I gently pushed it back. “Have you had a good day?”
“It’s been wonderful,” she replied. “I couldn’t have dreamed that it would have gone any better than this.”
“Well,” I said, pulling her close. “I’m hoping it’s about to get even better.”
With her eyes wide and her hands over her mouth, she watched as I got down on one knee. “Don’t mess with me, Logan Steele,” she begged. “Please don’t mess with me.”
“Oh, I’m not,” I said. “I’ve never been more serious in my life.”
I pulled the small wooden box from my pocket and opened it to reveal the ring I’d chosen for her; platinum, with a single diamond in the center, sparkling in the late afternoon sun beaming into the kitchen.
“Caitlyn Reid,” I said, “Since that night you bit my fucking finger, you becam
e part of my mind and then my heart. You’ve helped me face my shit and without you, I’d probably still be stuck in a shed in the woods living like Paul Bunyan. I don’t want to spend another minute knowing that you’re not my wife. So, my love, will you please take this poor, hopeless sod to be yours, forever?”
She cried and laughed, all at the same time, as she nodded her head and held out her hand. “Yes, of course!” she said, and I slid the ring onto her finger, stood up, and scooped her up in my arms. She kissed me, holding my face as I twirled her around.
When she eventually pulled away, there was a wicked little twinkle in her eyes.
“Wanna find out what else I can do with a piping bag full of cream?”
And, this time, it was my turn to say ‘yes’.
~ fine ~
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WANTING IT – DESCRIPTION
†
Nicole
He’s hot, and I want him to be my first, no matter how complicated or wrong it might be.
Jake is my only crush….ever.
I know my older brother though.
He’s always been overprotective.
He wouldn’t be okay knowing I’m sleeping with any guy, let alone his best friend.
It’s no secret my love life takes a back seat to my work and pretty much everything else in my life.
I’ve really only wanted it from one guy though, and since him and my brother are so close they are practically brothers, anything between us would be seriously off-limits.
It’s not like Jake is ever in one place long enough for something to happen anyway.
That is, until this week, at my brother’s destination wedding.
Feeling It Page 17
