“Shut up and do some work,” she answered, staring at her screen.
“He wants you, you know. He’s a nice guy.” Nick had to force the words from his clenched teeth.
She made a noise that sounded suspiciously like a snort. “Yeah, he’s a great guy. But he wants me? I don’t think so. I’m five months pregnant.”
Nick couldn’t stop himself from leaning closer. Her curves were ripe and lush. Her skin glowed and her hair caught the light and reflected it back. “Pregnancy agrees with you. Any man who looks at you would want you.”
She started to answer, then her gaze caught his and held. Her eyes darkened to the color of whiskey, and her neck and cheeks turned pink. Her mouth opened a tiny bit and her breath caught.
“Not like this,” she said. But she didn’t look away.
“Exactly like this.” He slowly moved his chair closer, watching, waiting for her to object. When she didn’t tell him to stop, he put his hand over her belly. It was firm beneath his fingers, and warm. “You’re beautiful.”
For the first time, he felt a connection to that bump beneath her shirt. He’d put that baby there. It had been conceived in grief and anguish, not love, but it was his.
She could have been his, too, if he hadn’t been such an ass.
He wished he could rewind the tape and go back to the night she’d told him she was pregnant. He would handle it very differently. He wouldn’t shove a check at her. Wouldn’t tell her he wanted nothing to do with a baby.
He wasn’t a good candidate for father of the year. Not for happily ever after, either. But he’d try, damn it.
“Nick?” Her voice was tentative. Unsure. But she didn’t push him away. Her hand hovered over his, then dropped.
“Do you want him, Sierra?” he asked.
“Who?”
“Cameron.”
“That’s none of your business.” But she didn’t look away. In the heavy silence, Nick could hear her ragged breathing. Her lips were flushed red, her eyes huge.
“Do you know what I think?” He reached for her chair and pulled it toward him. The wheels creaked on the floor, then her knees bumped his.
She shoved him away as if the touch had burned her skin. She faced her computer, her hands on the keyboard, her chest rising and falling. “I don’t want to know what you’re thinking,” she said, her voice hoarse. “I’m damn sure it would make me angry, and I have work to do.”
He watched her pretend to work. For a moment, before she caught herself, she’d wanted him, too. But before he could pursue it, he heard footsteps on the stairs.
Cameron. Nick swung his chair around and faced his computer. By the time the guy opened the door, both he and Sierra were pretending to work.
But all he could think about was that moment when Sierra had let down her guard.
Maybe, if Sierra was on his side, he could learn how to be a father.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
SIERRA STARED AT HER computer screen, her heart thudding so hard she was sure both men could hear it. Nick had been about to kiss her.
She’d been about to kiss him back.
What was wrong with her? What had she been thinking?
She hadn’t been thinking. She’d been feeling. The pregnancy hormones must be affecting her libido, because she’d almost leaned forward to press her mouth to his.
Ever since he’d held her after her ultrasound, when she’d wept for all her parents would miss, there had been a tiny hum of awareness between them.
If she was honest with herself, she’d admit the awareness had been there from the beginning. In her three years at B and A, she’d managed to ignore it. She wasn’t the kind of woman he dated. And he certainly wasn’t the kind of man she dreamed about.
Their situation was too complicated to add sex to the mix. She knew that. But when he’d walked into the construction trailer this morning, her first, instinctive reaction had been giddiness.
She didn’t do giddy.
She usually didn’t do stupid, either. But obviously, she was making up for lost time.
You’re both adults. He wanted you, too.
It didn’t matter. She was pregnant, for God’s sake. She wasn’t enormous yet, but her body was already ungainly. Swollen. She loved her pregnant belly, and if she and Nick were long-time lovers, she would want to share the changes with him.
But making love with him again? Getting naked, letting him look at her pregnant self? She couldn’t do it.
It would let him…assume things.
Things she was unsure of. She still wasn’t convinced Nick could give her what she needed—a father for her baby. Steadfast love for both of them.
He’d be around for the week. Seven days. Could she maintain the distance between them for six more days? Keep from falling into the “stupid” trap?
It irritated her that she couldn’t immediately answer yes to either of those questions.
She hit the refresh key on her computer too hard as her phone buzzed the arrival of a text message, but she ignored it. Nick was watching her again, and she shoved away from her desk. “I’m going to take a look at the area I’ve sketched out for a deck. I have some ideas I want to think about.”
“I’ll go with you.” Nick stood, then Mark did as well.
“Me, too.”
“Sit down, both of you. I’m going by myself. I need some fresh air.” Need time to think.
THE TEXT MESSAGE HAD been from Jen, asking if she could meet at the restaurant at four-thirty. Since Jen was her boss, Sierra figured it wasn’t a request. So at four o’clock, she closed down her computer, shoved into her briefcase the papers she needed to study that evening, and pushed herself away from her computer.
“You leaving already?” Nick asked.
“Jen wants to meet me.”
“I’ll see you later, then,” he said. His voice was casual. The tone and words a colleague would use at the end of a workday. But his gaze promised that he would seek her out. He probably thought they would pick up where they’d left off earlier.
That wasn’t going to happen.
She lifted her briefcase. “See you both tomorrow.” She exited the trailer without waiting for a response.
Thirty minutes later, after dropping off her briefcase at her apartment and washing her face, she headed downstairs to Jen’s restaurant, still wearing her boots. It took a while to get the boots off, and she was already late. And she planned to head back to the site after they finished talking.
When she walked into The Summer House, Kerry was inserting a list of the day’s specials into the menus, and she looked up warily. “Ms. Clark. Have a seat, and I’ll tell Jen you’re here.”
She disappeared into the back, and Sierra sat at a table. The restaurant was empty of customers, but it buzzed with activity. Waitresses moved around the room, setting out flowers in small vases, napkins and silverware on all the tables. Jen emerged from behind the swinging door, then voices rose in the kitchen behind it. As her boss slid into the chair opposite Sierra’s, china shattered in the back with a high-pitched crash. A lot of china.
Jen frowned and half stood, then they heard Kerry’s voice. “Okay, Cal, you’ve had your little hissy fit. I’ll take the plates out of your next paycheck. Now get that mess cleaned up.” Muttered words sounded, then Kerry’s voice again, a little louder. “Cal. Knock it off. Don’t make me open a can of whoop-ass on you.”
Jen sank back into the chair with a tiny smile. “Thank you, Kerry,” she murmured, her eyes twinkling. “The one and only time I’ve seen her flustered is the day you came to see me,” she said to Sierra. “She’s worth her price in rubies.”
“That’s good,” Sierra said carefully. “I guess you’ll need an assistant for…later.”
“That was the idea.” Jen straightened. “Thanks for coming here to meet me. I couldn’t get away to come to you.”
“Not a problem. It’s not a long walk.” She held herself stiffly in the chair, and Jen touched her hand.
“I need to apologize to you. What I did—insisting on getting Nick back here—was wrong. I embarrassed you and made you uncomfortable. And I let you think I don’t trust you.”
Sierra lifted one shoulder. “It’s your house. You’re entitled to do whatever you want.”
Jen leaned closer. “Sierra, I’m sorry, all right? I screwed up. How can I make it better? Do you want me to fire Nick? I’ll eat the contract, pay him what we owe him and tell him to go.”
Sierra took a deep breath, releasing the tension in her shoulders. “No. I gave him a week. By that time, I’ll…” She hesitated.
“You’ll have the problem solved?”
She hoped she would—both the problem with the thefts and the issues between her and Nick. “Yes.”
Jen had dark circles beneath her eyes and looked as if she’d lost weight. Sierra had been so caught up in her own problems she hadn’t even noticed. But thinking back, she realized Jen had looked ragged last night, too. “Are you all right?” Her gaze dropped to Jen’s abdomen. “Is the baby okay?”
Jen smiled. “I’m fine. I’ve been worried about Delaney, but she’s good now.”
“The drummer from that band?”
“Yeah. There was this guy…” She sighed. “How come it’s always about a guy? Anyway, her heart was broken, but he figured out a way to fix it. So she’s all good again. I should be catching up on my sleep, but now I’m planning a party for them.”
Jen pressed her fingers to her eyes. “I think that’s why I was so determined to fix whatever is wrong between you and Nick. I saw you with Mark and I was worried.” She shrugged. “I couldn’t help Delaney. But I thought maybe I could help you.” She smiled, but her mouth trembled. “Damn hormones.”
“Tell me about it.” Sierra slumped against the back of the chair. “They make you do things you wouldn’t normally consider.”
“Exactly. I can step back and be appalled at myself. But I would probably do it again.”
Sierra smiled. “That’s honest, anyway.”
“So do you and Nick want to come to the party?” Jen watched her carefully.
Sierra clenched her hands in her lap. Jen was inviting them as a couple. Nick had said he wanted to get involved. But did he want to do it publicly?
It was time to test his apparent change of heart. “Yes,” she said recklessly. “That sounds great.”
She hoped Nick would see it that way.
WHERE THE HELL WAS SHE?
Nick peered into the window of The Summer House one more time, but Sierra wasn’t there. He’d left the job site a half hour after she did, hoping to catch up with her after her meeting with Jen. But she wasn’t at the restaurant or the Harp. She wasn’t at her apartment. He’d seen Jen briefly, and she had no idea where Sierra had gone after their meeting.
He’d walked the whole business district to see if she was in a shop. He felt like a fool, but what if something had happened to her?
Why was her phone turned off? Why hadn’t she returned his calls?
He sat on one of the benches on the sidewalk, a couple of stores down from her apartment, and waited. The sky was darkening and it was after eight o’clock when he finally saw her SUV pull into the alley next to her building. A few minutes later, Sierra emerged, carrying a crumpled fast-food bag that she dumped in the trash.
He walked toward her, but before he could speak, she faltered to a halt. “Nick. What are you doing here?”
“Waiting for you.” All the worry that had been gnawing at him rose up and spilled over. “Where have you been? I was concerned.”
“What? You were worried?”
“I couldn’t get you on the phone. I thought something had happened.”
“I was at the site,” she said with a frown. “You know cell phone reception is sketchy out there. What did you think had happened?”
She looked bewildered, and he flushed. “That you were sick, or something was wrong with the baby,” he muttered, feeling like a complete fool.
“Why would you think that?”
“I thought we were getting together. I told you I’d see you later.”
“That’s a…a generic goodbye,” she said, clearly baffled. “It didn’t mean we had a date. And I said I’d see you tomorrow.”
He opened the door to her vestibule and tried to salvage some of his dignity. “I thought we had things to discuss.”
She studied him for a long moment, and he tried not to squirm. “Never mind. I guess we got our signals crossed. What were you doing at the site?”
“Trying to get my ducks in a row. Jen is in a hurry, and I haven’t received a shipping confirmation for the shingles we’re using, even though they told Mark they’d fax it to us. I tried to get hold of the company, but they were already closed.
“If you wanted to talk to me after work, you should have said something,” she finally replied as she pulled her keys out of her purse. “I’m sorry you were worried, although it’s odd that the first thing you thought of when you couldn’t get hold of me was that something bad had happened. Do women usually sit by the phone, waiting for you to call, and pick up on the first ring?”
“Of course not. But I thought… I’m sorry,” he said. “It was an unsettling day. I made some assumptions.”
She leaned against the wall. “I did, too. Jen invited us to a party, and I accepted.”
This was a test. He jiggled the change in his pocket. He’d never been part of an “us” before. Wasn’t sure he wanted to be now. But he’d promised her he’d try. “Good. I like parties.”
Her shoulders slumped, as if she’d been tense. “Great. I think it’s tomorrow. I’ll let you know.”
Her hand shook as she inserted the key into the lock. He put his hand over hers. “Let me.”
“I can unlock my damn door,” she said.
“Of course you can. But let me help.”
The lock opened with a click, and she clutched the keys in her hand. “Good night, Nick,” she said. “I’ll see you at the site in the morning.”
“Can I walk you upstairs?” he said. “You look tired.”
She stared at him for a moment. Trying to figure out his motives? Finally, she sighed. “Thanks. It’s been a long day.”
He wrapped his arm around her waist and walked up the stairs with her. When she unlocked the door, he followed her inside. She glanced at him with a question in her eyes, but turned on the lights and closed the blinds, then collapsed onto the couch.
“We’re not discussing anything tonight,” she said. “I’m too tired and it’s too late.”
He sat beside her. “Then I’ll just sit with you for a minute.” He draped his arm over the back of the couch and took a deep breath and relaxed. When she rested her head inches from his arm, he fought the impulse to pull her close. He didn’t want to disturb the moment.
Sitting here with Sierra was comfortable. Peaceful. He could let his guard down.
He never let his guard down. Nick shifted to study her.
“What do you want?” she said, but her voice was faint. Her braid trailed over his arm, and her eyes were closed.
“To get you to bed,” he said.
She stilled, then opened her eyes. They were slumberous, whiskey-colored. Seductive.
“That’s not on the agenda,” she said, her voice husky.
He hadn’t meant it that way. But now he could think of nothing else. Her lips were parted, and her chest rose and fell a little faster. He wanted to pull her closer and cover those lips with his mouth. He’d dreamed of her mouth, of how she tasted. He wanted to taste her again.
“I was going to kiss you this morning. You were going to kiss me back.”
“No, I wasn’t.”
She was lying, but before he could prove it to her, she edged away from him. Leaning forward, she tried to stand up, but fell back onto the couch. A muscle clenched in her jaw as she tried again.
It took a moment for him to understand. She was off balance. Ungainly. And the old couch
had very soft cushions.
He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and helped her to her feet.
COMPLETELY HUMILIATED, Sierra moved away from Nick’s support as soon as she was steady on her feet. “Thank you.”
She sounded churlish, but she didn’t care. God! One moment he wanted to kiss her, and the next he had to hoist her off the couch. But that would take care of the attraction she’d been fighting. Now he’d see exactly what she was—a fat, waddling, pregnant woman. Certainly not a sexy potential lover.
“You need to leave, Nick,” she said without looking at him. “I’m tired. We have to work tomorrow. And it’s going to take me a while to get ready for bed.”
“Can’t you skip all those things women do at night? That ritual?” He smoothed his hand down her braid, making her nerve endings fire wildly, and she pushed him away.
“I’m talking about unlacing my boots and getting undressed,” she said wearily. “That’s my bedtime ritual nowadays.” She waved him toward the door. “Good night.”
He didn’t move, and finally she turned to look at him. Instead of the distaste and discomfort she expected, she saw understanding. Tenderness, almost. It was unexpected and surprising.
It made her feel lonely. It brought home the fact that she was struggling through this pregnancy alone. Just as she would struggle to raise her child alone.
“I’d like to help you,” he said quietly. He held out his hand. “May I?”
“No, you can’t help me get undressed.” The thought of letting him take off her clothes and reveal her pregnant body made her squirm with embarrassment. “And you could have come up with a more original line.”
“At least let me undo the boots.”
He seemed sincere. As if he had no other agenda besides taking off her boots. As she stared at him, un certain, he turned on the hall light that led to the bed room. “You look skeptical, and I don’t blame you. But I can’t bear the thought of you struggling to take those boots off. Please let me help you.”
Instead of answering, she headed for the bedroom. She felt him behind her, but he didn’t touch her. She sank onto the high, old-fashioned bed and sighed. “Fine. Thank you, Nick. It’s getting harder to unlace them and get them off.” It was humiliating to admit that her body was getting in the way of doing something so simple.
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