by Jay Mason
“And how are we meant to know that,” retorted Alex. “You should have handed out copies of the contract while people were waiting in line.”
“Do you have an agent or something?” said Joe, frowning slightly. Alex couldn’t help noticing he made frowning look sexy.
“I didn’t even know this was what I was queueing for. I thought I was registering for the new term.”
“You don’t want to be in my film?” said Joe, his eyebrows almost disappearing into his hairline.
“Why would I?” said Alex.
Now he was actually looking at her. “Because, because I’m Joe Trend,” he said.
Alex shrugged.
“From Zero to Hero?”
Alex shook her head.
“One Man One World One solution?”
“Really?” said Alex. “That was a title?”
A tinge of red flushed Joe’s cheeks. Alex could hear muttering behind her in the crowd. This could turn ugly. “I don’t go to the movies often,” she said, trying to calm things.
“You honestly hadn’t heard of me?” said Joe.
“I’m so sorry,” said Alex.
Then Joe threw back his head and laughed. He said something in a low voice to the woman next to him and she pulled a pile of papers from a different stack.
“What’s your name?” asked Joe.
“Alex.”
“Well, Alex give us a chance. You might be exactly what the biz needs.”
Afterwards, Alex could never properly explain why, but she signed the form.
“You’re going to be an extra?” said Rusty in tones of disbelief. “When we have so much to do?”
Alex shrugged and picked through her salad. The café had introduced a new health initiative and she wasn’t entirely sure of all the strange looking leaves in her bowl. She held one up, “Isn’t this cattle fodder?”
Rusty ignored the piece of kale being waved in his face. He lowered his voice, “How are we going to do any investigating if you’re busy strutting under the lights?”
“Oh, it’s not that much time,” said Alex. “I admit it’s mostly outside college hours, but all daylight times — they need the place to be empty of …”
“Of real students so you can play at being students,” said Rusty, “and try not to make the cast of thirty-something actors trying to play teens look stupid.”
“Joe’s only twenty nine and anyway he’s playing a professor.”
“Joe?”
“Yeah, Joe Trend.”
“You’re on first name terms with the star?” sneered Rusty.
“Actually, he’s asked me to go for coffee with him,” said Alex.
“You’re going for coffee with Joe Trend!”
Alex stood up as she piled the remnants of her meal back onto her tray ready to empty stuff into the trash or recycling. “Yeah, he never went to college, so he wanted to hear about it firsthand.”
Rusty stood up. “Never went to college?”
“Is there something up with your ears today,” said Alex, picking up her tray. “You keep repeating everything I say.” She studied his reddened face. “Do you want to come too? I’m sure Joe would be just as interested in your experience.”
“I bet he wouldn’t,” snapped Rusty and stalked off leaving his tray on the table. Alex watched him go and considered the possible reasons for his behaviour. She couldn’t come up with one she liked, so she loaded his tray up too and hoped by the next time they ran into one another he would have cooled off.
“I’m wondering if he wanted to be an extra too,” said Alex as she sipped her foamy coffee.
“If he got turned down it would have been for a reason,” said Joe. “Does he look like a student?”
Alex grinned. She and Joe were sitting downtown in a local coffee shop. Joe was wearing a big multi coloured woolly hat with tassels that hung down over his ears and a huge green greatcoat. And though they were in the back of the shop, he’d kept his sunglasses on. “So I’m not recognised,” he’d said. Alex didn’t have the heart to point out to him that he was wearing a watch, she was pretty sure would have cost as much as the average family spent on a car.
“He is a student, Joe,” she said.
“But is he authentic? Does he look the part? Being real isn’t enough.”
“You live in a very odd world, don’t you?” she said. Alex had picked up quickly that you could say almost anything to Joe. He was startlingly open minded and accepting.
Joe gave her his famous smile. “Started in film when I was two. Haven’t looked back.”
“I would imagine that spending your whole life pretending would make it …”
“Hard to tell when something is real,” Joe finished for her. “Perhaps, but my world is a lot nicer than yours. People scream so much in yours and it’s always so chaotic.”
“Are you sure that’s not simply when you’re around.”
“But you have to take buses,” said Joe. “And I’m told they never run on time. How do you get anywhere when you need to be on time?” he frowned. “Will people be late for the shooting? Our director is a bit of a stickler. I forgot a line once and he made sure the staff didn’t give me cream for my coffee all day. Can you imagine?”
Alex suppressed a giggle. “Must have been torture,” she said.
“Do you think I’m being pretentious?” said Joe. “I don’t want to do that. I know I live in a bubble. Don’t tell anyone, but I get my manager to give twenty five percent of my earnings to people who don’t have enough — er — stuff.”
“Stuff? Like laptops or private yachts?”
“No,” said Joe dropping his voice so low she could barely hear him, “you’ll find this hard to believe, but two years ago I was in Baltimore and this woman told me there are people in this world who don’t have enough to eat. Some of them are even in America!”
“Who was this woman?”
“I was at some fund raising gala. My agent says people like to see me go to these and this woman with a badge that reads WHO comes over to start speaking to me. I mean, obviously she got my full attention, because I thought she was with that British science fiction show. Anyway she starts spinning me this story and I stop her half way through. I tell her it’s too awful with the wars and the famines and the downright shitty things people are doing to each other to ever make a movie people would enjoy watching. Then you know what she tells me?”
“That it’s all real and she wasn’t talking about a movie at all.”
“Yes,” said Joe bumping his fist of the coffee table. “It’s real. How can anyone accept that?”
“I expect they go to your movies to forget,” said Alex.
“If they don’t have enough food, Alex, I doubt they can afford a movie.”
“I meant Joe, all the people who do have enough money and want to forget about the rest of the world.”
Joe shook his head. “That’s wrong, very wrong. Maybe I should give more or give away some of my stuff, but I can’t think what they’d do with my yacht in Africa. It’s not like they could eat it …”
Alex reached out a hand and touched his arm. “Joe, you are doing a lot more than most people,” she said.
Joe brightened immediately. “You think so?”
“I do,” said Alex. “Now what do you want to ask me about being a student?”
“Oh, I don’t. I’ve got lots of briefing material for my team to read. I wanted to have coffee with you because you’re so pretty and because you didn’t know who I was. I’m so fed up with girls trying to convince me to take them to galas and stuff. Do you like galas, Alex.”
“I’ve never been to one.”
“Wow,” said Joe. “But there are so many. I get asked to at least twenty a week. Would you like to go to one?”
“I doubt it,” said Alex. “Not really my scene.”
Joe grinned again. “So what’s your scene, Alex?” he asked.
Alex was struggling to come up with some believable hobbies, when Joe beg
an speaking again. “I’m into the paranormal,” he said. “Anything out of the ordinary. Aliens, cyborgs, telepaths, ghosts, monsters in the night. All that stuff. I’m sure it’s out there. Never found anything, but I’m going to keep looking. I picked this area for shooting because of all the odd reports that have been filed over the years. I intend to do some paranormal investigating while I’m here. Would you like to join me?”
2. Digging up the Past
“Show me the email,” said Rusty. They were sitting in her bedroom drinking hot chocolate supplied by her mother, who had left the door significantly ajar behind her. Alex and Rusty were whispering.
“Here,” said Alex, pulling up a screen. “I’d better watch the door.”
Rusty read:
To Alex Morgan
From C0numdrum
Subject: Local Movie
Thanks for your warning about Mr Trend. I had heard there were filmmakers in town shooting a sci-fi movie, but I didn’t realise the lead actor had a personal interest. I note you say Joe “isn’t too bright”, but seems a “decent enough” guy and that he has a great deal of cash to expend on his alien hunting hobby. I regret to say that rather than seeing Mr Trend as an ally, I fear he may be the perfect storm of media attention and naivety that could bring chaos, if not actual danger, to our door. He doesn’t sound like the sort of man who could be trusted with our secrets — he opened up to you far too quickly — and he also sounds as if he is privileged enough to arrogantly stroll in where others might fear to tread. I suggest you do your best to keep him away from the Center. If they get wind of what he is up to, it’s not impossible they might decide to close down operations and move elsewhere. In which case we would have lost all the advantages we have.
Sorry, to be so downbeat.
Best
C
Rusty leant back in his seat. “Gosh, c0numdrum doesn’t like Joe, does he? Do you think he’s seen any of his movies?”
Alex leant on the door very quietly and slowly closed it. “Why? Would it help?”
“I doubt it,” said Rusty. “Did you really tell him that Trend isn’t too bright?”
“He’s not dumb, exactly,” said Alex, coming over to sit on the bed. “It’s more that he’s never lived in the real world. One minute you’re talking to an adult the next it’s like trying to explain what a catalyst is to a two year old. He doesn’t have the same frame of reference as us.”
“Enjoying your psych course, are you?” teased Rusty.
“Think is, I’m not sure, c0numdrum’s right. I think Joe might provide the perfect opportunity for us to get a guided tour of the Center. He’s got the pull.”
“They’re hardly going to show him their secret projects,” said Rusty.
“No, but at least we might get an idea of the layout of the place. Besides, we know what we’re looking for. We could pick up some clues.”
Rusty took a big slurp of hot chocolate. It left him with a heavy brown moustache. He looked at Alex with what she suspected was meant to be great seriousness, but the chocolate moustache coupled with the dot of cream on his nose, seriously undermined it. “I think c0numdrum is right for once. I think tagging along behind Joe will only bring us even more to their attention. I can’t think of a way it would end well.”
“But,” began Alex, when the door opened and her mother came in. Rusty barely had time to turn off the screen.
“Cookies, anyone,” said Irene. “I’ve baked the ones you like so much, Rusty.”
“Ooh, lovely Mrs M,” said Rusty coming forward and taking two. “I can’t understand why Alex isn’t as fat as pig with all your wonderful cooking.”
Alex rolled her eyes behind her mother’s back. As far as everyone else in the world was concerned, apart from Rusty, her mother’s cooking was barely edible.
As the days passed Alex learned one very important thing about movie-making; it was extra-ordinarily slow. Most of the time not only the extras, but the leading actors too, were sitting around waiting for make-up, the right lighting, the sound guy who had gone missing or enduring the mandatory breaks for the various techs and creatives on set. More often than not Alex found herself gravitating towards Joe’s trailer. Joe had a DVD player and liked nothing better than to watch terrible science fiction b-movies. Alex sat on the sofa with him, sharing popcorn or chips and laughing just as hard. Sometimes they talked about the topics of the movie, about how real aliens would never do this or that, but while Alex was happy to talk in hypothetical terms, she did her best to steer Joe away from talking about anything that had happened locally.
Alex had come in half way through today’s movie, but it didn’t matter. Even Joe could sum up the plot in two sentences. After ten minutes Alex was bouncing on the sofa with indignation.
“Come on!” said Alex, “no superior alien race is going to put their greatest weakness on display. Surely that’s the bit they would keep most armoured!”
“But then the earth people couldn’t win,” objected Joe. “Besides it gives the director the opportunity to get his female lead out of clothing.”
“Is that what you lot like,” she asked. “Getting your kit off in front to the camera.” As soon as the words were out of her mouth, she realised she was crossing a boundary. So far she thought she and Joe had done a good job of pretending they weren’t of opposite sex. Especially as he was so very handsome.
To her surprise Joe went crimson. “God, I hate it. I think most actors do. You have to pretend to be all hot and heavy with this person you hardly know and everyone is watching you. You know, I once walked on set to find the scenes had been rearranged so before I’d even been introduced to this actress I was naked in bed with her being told by the director to ‘pound her even harder’. It was mortifying.”
“Are you actually naked?” said Alex, her curiosity overcoming her sense.
“Sometimes,” said Joe. “It depends on the scene. Sometimes people use body doubles, but if you’ve got a good body it will be pointed out to you that you’re incurring extra expense. And we’re not entirely naked. I mean someone had to wear something in some scenes to stop — well, you can guess.” Joe had now gone so red, Alex genuinely feared for his blood pressure. She got up and went over to his popcorn machine to refill the bucket and let him recover.
“What you need,” she heard herself say, “is to get off site. Why don’t you come to dinner at my house? My mother’s a terrible cook, but she never goes to the movies, so she won’t have any idea who you are.”
Joe gave her his slow building smile. “That sounds fantastic,” he said.
Rusty, when Alex phoned him to say she couldn’t study with him that night, was not as happy. “You’ve invited him to dinner? What will your parents say?”
“They’ve been all for me being involved in the film. I get extra credit and when I said I was bringing the star home, I think my mother started getting up hopes that I’d found something I might be good at. Not that she rates the cinema, but she’d love me to be important enough to raise funding money for her projects,” said Alex bitterly. “Besides, she’ll love Joe. Everyone does. Once you get to know him he’s a sweet guy.”
Rusty remained silent.
“We can reschedule, can’t we?” said Alex. “It wasn’t anything urgent?”
“Certainly nothing as urgent as dinner,” said Rusty and rang off.
Alex slipped her phone back into her jeans pocket. She’d stressed to her mother that Joe wouldn’t like it if they all got dressed up. She made a mental note to find the time to sit down with Rusty and have a decent talk. He was obviously having problems and she had been so busy with the movie. She hadn’t been a good friend. She would do better. The doorbell rang and Alex hurried downstairs.
Joe stood on the doorstep clutching an enormous bunch of flowers that obscured half his body in one hand and a very large bottle of champagne in the other. Behind him, a low sleek car, stood at the gate. “Didn’t know what to bring,” said Joe. “Your folks do drink, don�
�t they?”
Alex nodded.
“And your mum doesn’t have hay fever? I’ve got some other options in the car if I need them. Morris can bring them in.”
“Morris?”
“My chauffeur. Thought I might have some of the champagne too. Can’t be too careful.”
“Good idea,” said Alex. “You can ring him to come and get you.”
“Oh no,” he said. “Far too awkward. All that waiting around. Morris has the radio and a sub. He’ll be fine out there.”
Before Alex could protest she heard her mother coming down the stairs behind her. Joe engaged his most attractive smile and stepped forward to give her the flowers. “For you, Mrs Morgan,” he said. “I didn’t know what were your favourites, so I decided to go with autumnal colours. I hope that is alright for you. I can see by your lovely home that your sense of taste is far more developed than mine.”
Alex thought he was laying it on a bit thick, but under her astonished gaze her mother didn’t simply melt, she simpered. “Do come through Joe,” she said. “I can call you Joe, can’t I?”
“Of course,” said Joe flashing another smile and handing over the flowers. “It’s difficult to believe you’re Alex’s mother.”
“I was very young,” said Mrs Morgan ducking her head shyly. “And you must call me Irene. Alex will take you through to the living room and get you a drink.” She hurried off to the kitchen.
“Difficult to believe she’s my mother!” exclaimed Alex. “You’ve got to be kidding me. You sound like you’re in a B movie!”
Joe shrugged. “Never was very good at improv, but as long as I smile a lot I seem to get away with bad dialogue.”
“Oh come,” said Alex grabbing his hand and dragging him through to the lounge. “Let’s see if we can find you something to drink.”
“Can’t I just open my bottle,” said Joe. “I had it in the limo chiller, so it should be fine.”
“Fine,” said Alex. “Just don’t make a mess.”
Fortunately her father was waiting for them in the lounge and held a glass under the neck of the bottle. Despite Joe’s assurances it was clear he’d never opened a bottle for himself. Lewis barely noticed the spillage. He was too busy going on and on about the size of the bottle. Then an oblique remark about a spaceship in a particularly bad B movie and Alex watched her father and Joe embark on what appeared to be a lifelong friendship. “I never knew you liked those old movies,” Alex said.
