by Alice Ward
“I know what you mean,” she agreed, and it took a second for it to click. All the news stories after Nate’s death. They’d painted her as guileful, like she’d only been with Nate for his money. Damn it. I really was one smooth operator. My heart dropped to the floor.
To make her feel better, I told her one of my most embarrassing moments. “I once did a photo shoot that was supposed to be me surrounded by the things I import. It turned out that the photographer wanted me to pose with only the luxurious drapes. And that’s all.”
She stared at me blankly for a second, then her eyes popped wide and she barked out a laugh. “In nothing but drapes?”
“They thought it would be sexy and modern.” The way she was staring at me now, it was like she couldn’t imagine me even being asked to pose that way. Did that mean she didn’t think I was sexy?
Wow, that’d be a twist. According to the internet, almost every woman on the planet found me attractive. So that certainly hadn’t been a problem up until now. Being seen as an asshole focused on capitalizing on a business venture over human interaction tended to be more of what I battled with.
“Ah, you don’t think I’m sexy.” I hung my head and drew my lip downward, exaggerating disappointment.
“No, no.” She moved closer. “I was just trying to imagine you… draped in… drapes. It would depend on the kind of drapes, would they be made of crepe or silk? Cause crepe would be hell on the skin.” She covered her hand with her mouth and snickered. When her gaze landed on the drapes in the living room, her eyes got even bigger and she pointed. “Do you mind giving me a little remake? We’ve got the props right here.”
I hadn’t seen this lighthearted, teasing side of her, and I liked it. Her smile was happy, and her eyes shone.
“Right.” I gave her a knowing look. “Mind if I put on some music?”
She lifted a shoulder. “If that’s what you need to get you in the mood, Mr. Sexiest International Tradesman. What you were playing was nice.”
“Thanks, but I’m just an amateur piano player. Let’s have some lunch and listen to the pros.” I reached for my phone on the edge of the piano and put on a play list I’d organized this morning. Adara Wilde’s “Mamma Ain’t Gonna Lie” was the third song. I had a few minutes to warm her up before things were possibly going to get tense.
“Sure. I like listening to you play, though. I’ve been up for a while and could hear from the west wing. You’re quite good.”
“I hope I didn’t wake you.”
“It was nice, lying in bed and listening to you play.” Her eyes darkened and fell to my lips, my chest… my hands.
The sudden image flooded my brain of her lying on white sheets, piano music all around, and nothing between us but notes filling the air.
My cock stood at attention, and I couldn’t take the torture of not knowing any longer. I stood, using the piano to block my lower half. “About last night…”
“Yes. I haven’t thanked you enough, Roman. The necklace.” She fingered it around her neck. “The flowers and card. I—”
“No, I just… I don’t want you to think I would take advantage of you. I want you to know that I think highly of you and I would never…” My gaze landed on her lips and seemed to stick there, like magnets to metal.
“Kiss me if I didn’t want you to?”
That broke me out of my trance, and my eyes shot up to hers. “Yes. Exactly. I’d…” I moved closer. “I’d never kiss you if you didn’t want it. Never do anything you didn’t want.”
Her lips were drawing me in again, and I wanted to taste them, nibble them, run my tongue over them. Taste the rest of her. I wanted to lay her out on the piano and stroke her until she hit a high note just for me.
The idea of her splayed out on the piano led to a fast fantasy of fucking her till dawn, making me flush, my dick stiffening with desire.
Damn it, how was I going to keep myself away from this woman?
Her face had gone scarlet, and she stuttered, “I know some ninja moves, I’ll just warn you.” She threw up her arms into a karate stance. “But I’m not sure they’re effective against the Sexiest Tradesman.”
“Stand down, princess, let’s have lunch first.” I blocked her maneuver, took her hand in mine, and led her to the dining room where Ms. White had set out a beautiful lunch of roasted chicken and herb salad.
“This looks wonderful.” She smiled, squeezing my hand before letting it go. “And this table. If I sit at one end and you sit at the other, we’d need to text to communicate.” She went to the far end of the table and waved.
I laughed. “We can play king and queen later. My sister and I used to. Right now, though, I was hoping you’d sit beside me.” I gestured to the place setting that was already next to mine.
As she made her way around the table to her chair, it happened. Her song came on, and she froze, her hand gripping the back of her chair. All the color drained from her face as she stood there immobilized.
I too was frozen, with hope and trepidation, but also in fear that she would be hurt or angry. I tried to relay my care and compassion in my gaze. “This is one of my favorite songs, Adara.”
Her eyes found mine and were glassy with tears.
My eyes never left hers. “It’s beautiful. I’m curious, what was your inspiration?”
I didn’t want to play games, and I didn’t think it would help her to live a lie any longer. She’d have to face this moment sooner or later. I was helping her do just that as gently as I could.
I watched her suck in a deep breath and hold herself together. She didn’t say a word.
I realized she needed to be eased into this, so I continued, “I ask because I know the story about the little girl you wrote it for. But when I listen to the words, they seem more personal, more heartfelt than just the vision of a young girl with her mother. I wondered if this song wasn’t about that child, but was instead about you as a little girl.”
I was coming on strong, so left off the part about her as a child wanting a mother who didn’t lie, but I could tell she got my meaning. I wanted her to trust me, to confide in me, to show me her true self.
As I watched her, the first part of her façade crumbled. Silent tears dripped down her face.
My heart panged. “I don’t want to upset you. It’s the farthest from my intentions, but we need to be honest with one another. I can’t imagine how painful it’s been… like living a nightmare, I suppose. You don’t have to remove your mask or reveal any more of yourself to me if you don’t want to. I’m not asking for that. Though I wish you would trust in me that way.”
She finally moved, raising her hand to wipe at a tear. “I…” She shook her head.
“Believe me when I tell you, I’ve wanted to escape the world as well, and trust me, there are still days I wish I could. I’ll give you a home and a sanctuary here for as long as you need it, all I ask is that you not lie to me.”
She nodded and sat down heavily, blindly stared at the wall across from her, still not speaking.
Not wanting to push her further and knowing she hadn’t eaten since sometime yesterday, I dropped the subject. “May I offer you some chicken?”
Her song played on, the only sound in the room for a moment.
“Yes please,” she whispered in a daze.
I took her plate, dishing up a healthy serving and did the same with mine. While the moment was very uncomfortable, this was actually going better than I expected. She took a bite of chicken, almost in a trance. However, she didn’t come apart or flee or make up more lies. It was progress.
“After lunch, I thought we’d take my horses out and have a ride around the property. The family owns most of this mountain, I’m embarrassed to say, but it’s really beautiful land. There’s a lake with a waterfall nearby and lots of interesting waterfowl, especially this time of year. Do you think you’d be up for something like that? It won’t be too rigorous, just a nice ride.”
As I spoke, her expression turned sad
, and I couldn’t think of why riding a horse in the mountains to a beautiful lake would make a person sad. Unless they couldn’t ride… I really am an imbecile.
Her leg. She couldn’t ride a horse.
I threw the plan in reverse and switched gears. “There’s also an ATV in the barn, it’s called a side-by-side. Handy thing. Kind of a cross between a four-wheeler and a golf cart. It’ll get you anywhere practically.”
Her eyes slowly moved to mine and I could see the gratefulness there. I was surprised my heart didn’t fall out onto my plate. It took me a second to catch my breath again.
“We can have a little adventure and look at the mountains, watch the birds…” Kiss.
Well, hello, Mr. Indecent. You know exactly what you want to do with her, and it isn’t watching birds.
“That sounds nice,” she answered, still mostly in a trance.
“Do you hate me for calling you out? I don’t want to cause you more pain.” I took a bite of chicken to ensure I couldn’t say anything completely idiotic before she answered.
“I guess it was going to happen sooner or later,” she whispered and looked down at her plate.
“I’m quite a fan of your music. I have all of your CDs and a rare live recording. I’m trying to keep my cool here.” With my more than obvious fan boy crush written across my face, heat flared all over my body, my cock standing up so straight he could’ve led a marching band.
Great. Now she was going to think I was some kind of crazed fan who wanted to lock her up here. Fuck her silly. Keep her forever.
I swallowed down the dry lump of tension in my throat, and as discreetly as I could, floated my cloth napkin to hide the boner bandleader.
She remained silent, so I cleared my throat. “What I mean to say, is I admire your work. I’m not some crazed whack job.”
She reached her hand out and placed it on top of mine. “Roman, I’m not that person anymore.” Her voice was weighted down with sorrow.
I didn’t want her to be sad, but the depression now hanging in the room was certainly helping my boner take a seat, which was a relief.
“I don’t know you — the real you. The rock star you and the Butterfly you are images created by a fantasy brought to life. While I admit I’ve got a bit of a rock-star crush on Adara Wilde, the woman seated next to me is still just as much a mystery as she was when I met her a couple days ago. What I do know is that you have a choice to be who and what you want. Your life is going to be different now, just as you’re different inside now. You can be whoever you want to be, Adara.” Well, that wasn’t so badly spoken. Perhaps I was getting my mojo back.
She took another bite, chewed thoughtfully as she continued to gaze at me. The fear had faded, and her eyes looked more alive with each chew.
“Just so you know, I really like the woman I’ve come to know so far.”
Finally, the sweet expression I was becoming accustomed to when she looked at me took over her face. “And I really like the man I’ve come to know so far. You definitely have good taste in music, though I wouldn’t have taken you for a rock fan.”
She was playing with me. Additional progress.
“I’m multi-faceted.” I met her eyes, looked deep to make sure I hadn’t caused unnecessary harm.
We both fell silent as the next song came on. My urge was to blather on, fill the silence, but I’d already dug quite a deep hole for myself.
“This singer, Rain McAvery…” She closed her eyes and listened the song currently playing for a few moments. “She was one of my best friends in the industry.”
“Was?” I acted on instinct and reached out for her hand and held it.
“She never called me after the accident. Her agent sent flowers. Rumors had already started that I’d refused to leave the stage that night. They were saying things like I was a whore for the spotlight. Insinuating I may as well have killed him.” She shook her head and the look in her eyes told me she was remembering the way everything had spiraled downward after that night.
“Adara, listen.” I opened my heart, throwing my fears out the window. I reached over, turned the phone off, wondering if every song would have ties for her. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“I don’t know if I did or not. I’ve never been able to remember everything that happened.”
“You didn’t. I know.” I took a deep breath. “I was there.”
Her head snapped up. “What?”
“I attended that concert. I saw it all from the VIP lounge. You did exactly what security instructed, so did Nate. The storm was supposed to hit farther to the west, and it didn’t. Then, the crowd didn’t want to comply. They didn’t want to miss the acclaimed couple. But no one could have known what would happen.”
Her eyes searched mine. “They told me he gave up his own life protecting me.”
I huffed. “Of course he did. What man in his right mind wouldn’t? Look, I know I didn’t know you, but I always followed your work and was so shocked and sad for you. Then when you didn’t surface, I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I tried to find you.” I sighed, realizing how I sounded. “I swear I’m not a crazy fan.”
That made her smile at least, so I plowed on. “My knowing who you are doesn’t change anything for you. It doesn’t erase painful memories or recover any of what you’ve lost. All it does is make us more honest with each other, so that whatever… friendship arises out of this situation is based on truth. Your secret is safe with me as long as you want to keep it. You can stay as disappeared as you’ve been. But it allows us to stop talking in circles, get to know each other and get things out in the open between us. Without you being some ethereal creature from heaven.” I smiled, hoping the joke would lighten the mood. “Just slap me and tell me to shut up if you want.”
“I can’t.” Tears shined in her eyes as she smiled at me. “I have to help Brandy, and I need your help to do it. She’s the only person who’s stuck by me, even if I doubted her at times. If I’d actually shot Jack, it could have made her an accessory to—”
“It wasn’t loaded.” Her eyes flew to mine, and her forehead wrinkled. “She gave it to you so you could escape him, not kill him.”
She took a few moments to process that before meeting my eyes again. “I have to do something, I can’t just leave her there. Or the rest of them. There’s things happening there that shouldn’t be, beyond the prostitution.”
“Yes, Adara, I know,” I said gently and put my hand on top of her cold one. “I spoke to a detective friend last night when I left you in your suite. He’s beginning an investigation as we speak.”
When she stiffened, I squeezed her hand. “He won’t let harm come to them. It’s best if we stay out of the way until we can help your friends. Let me show you the sights around here for a little while.”
I breathed a silent sigh of relief when she agreed.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
Adara
He’d both shocked me and touched me deeply the way he made it known he knew who I was. And it surprised me to realize how much his reaction to my concerns made me want him to stop tiptoeing around me. His generosity and kindness had filled a hole in me that had been chewing deeper into my heart for a while now.
It was like I had been set free. And the attraction that I felt for him suddenly tripled. I wanted him to yank me out of my chair, press me up against the wall, and grind that cock he couldn’t hide with a napkin against me until I forgot about the accident or Jewel or—
“Once you’re finished, I’ll see if I can root up some boots for you.” He was still talking about going out to the lake, but between the sexual tension and the shock of him figuring out who I was, I couldn’t process it all.
“How did you know?” When he didn’t seem to understand the question, I clarified, “How did you recognize me, I mean?”
“It was the moonlight. I’d felt like I knew you since the moment you fell into my arms. Then last night, when the moon lit you up in the car, it was like a spotlig
ht and… there you were.”
He had such an eloquent way of speaking that I thought I could sit here and just listen to him talk all day. “I’m happy that you know, Roman. I was afraid to tell you. I guess I was worried you’d be like the others and make assumptions.”
Or that he’d want me to take off my mask. Dread filled my veins each time I thought of the day when I’d have to take it off, yet at the same time, I was ready. Almost.
“Never.”
For some reason, I believed him, and I thought he really could understand since his family was so high-end and in the public eye. But I couldn’t stay here forever, hiding in his home. I knew the day was coming when I’d have to salvage what there was left of me and face the world.
We finished our lunch, and since it was a beautiful Sunday afternoon, a day riding around exploring his property sounded delightful.
Though I couldn’t ride, Roman and I stopped so I could meet his horses. One beautiful roan who was so speckled she looked like she should have been a cartoon character, laid her chin over my shoulder and sighed, winning my heart immediately.
“I wish I could ride her.” Stroking the horse’s neck, I leaned into her as she pressed her weight against me.
Roman looked at my leg speculatively, as if he was already making plans. “That’s Sissaleigh. She was my grandmother’s and has the disposition to match. Both sweet, both determined to get what they want.”
I laughed. “And what does Sissaleigh want?”
“Right now, she wants treats. We’ll bring you some when we come back, you.” He spoke directly to the horse like she was human, and she nodded her head and snorted like she agreed and couldn’t believe he hadn’t brought them the first time. “My grandmother died last year.”
“Oh, Roman, I’m so sorry.”
“Yeah, I miss her, and so does the horse. Feel free to come down here and bring her apples whenever you want.”
When he was finally able to drag me away from the horse, we got out his side-by-side and zipped over the fields. We rode around the lake shore, and he showed me the waterfall in the creek that fed water into the dammed lake.
