by Meg Jolie
He nodded.
“Why didn’t you just tell me?” I demanded. “You lied to me!”
“I didn’t lie!” Tristan argued. “I just…”
“Didn’t tell the truth?” Willow supplied. She shook her head. “I expected so much better from you.”
“You’ve been sneaking around behind my back.” I said. “Yes or no?”
He grimaced but didn’t answer. “Dominick should’ve kept his mouth shut. This is none of his business.”
“Oh, wrong answer, buddy,” Willow said as she smacked him across the chest.
“You’ve been keeping secrets from me. Yes or no?”
“Like you tell me absolutely everything?” he wanted to know.
“I’m not keeping anything from you!”
“Oh, really. Not even that you and Corey are all chatty and close again?”
“That’s not…that’s not true!” It wasn’t, was it? We talked. In school. And I’d run into him tonight. But it had always been completely innocent. “It’s nowhere near the same thing.”
“Are you sure about that?”
“Yes, I am,” I stubbornly replied.
“Really? Sitting alone in his car with him? Did you have a good time?” he demanded.
“Did you have a good time with Jayde?” I demanded back.
His eyes flicked to Corey and he looked livid. “Yeah. I did.”
“Good to know,” I managed to squeeze out past the ever growing lump in my throat.
“Britta?” Willow cautiously asked.
Tristan kept his eyes on me. “I totally get why you’re mad.”
Mad? I was so far beyond mad.
“I knew you were going to be mad but…can’t you just try to see things from my perspective?” He reached for me, grabbing my elbow and I froze. “Do you have any idea how suffocated I feel?”
Those words un-froze me.
Suffocated? Was he kidding me? “Go to hell, Tristan,” I said as I jerked my arm away. “Or at least leave me the hell alone.”
He darted in front of me. “So, what…you’re not even going to try to understand where I’m coming from?”
“You kept secrets from me. You lied to me. All the times you said you were too busy working to see me…you…you lied!” I cried. And you were with her?! I added silently because the words felt like they would’ve ripped apart my throat if I had to try to push them out. “Am I right?”
He threw his hands up in the air in defeat or possibly frustration. “You’re being unreasonable! I was with Jayde. You were with Corey. Maybe I’m the one that should be pissed off!”
“You…you—,” I spluttered until Willow gripped me by the shoulders.
“We’re out of here,” she told Tristan as she steered me toward the car. He—to my relief or disappointment, I wasn’t even sure—didn’t try to stop her.
“I’ll take you home,” Corey offered.
I had forgotten he was there. He didn’t look like he was enjoying the argument. He actually had the decency to look like he truly felt bad about it all.
Because of that, I was just irrational enough to accept.
*~*~*~*
“Is your mom in bed already?” Corey asked. I hadn’t thought to protest when he’d gotten out to walk me to the door. He’d surprised me by walking right into the house with me. If I’d been thinking more clearly, I would’ve lied and told him yes.
Instead I told the truth. “She’s gone tonight.”
His eyebrows twitched upward just a bit. “So you’re home all alone?”
I nodded.
And then he took his shoes and coat off.
I followed him into the living room where he made himself at home on the couch. He grabbed my wrist and pulled me with him.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“Do I want to talk about Tristan? With you? No. Not hardly,” I said. “Look, I appreciate the ride home,” I paused to think. “I appreciate everything else you did tonight. Telling me what was going on, driving me around and just…you know, being all supportive. But really, I think you should probably go. I kind of want to be alone.”
He shook his head. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. I don’t think you should be alone.”
“Corey,” I said firmly, “I want to be alone.”
What I really wanted was to have a good cry. The tears were right there, hanging on, waiting to break free any second. I knew if I turned into a blubbering mess in front of Corey, he’d probably never leave.
As it was, I was just hanging on tightly to the numb feeling. But like a dose of Novocain, it would wear off sooner rather than later. I’d really prefer to have him gone by then.
“If you don’t want to talk about Tristan, can we talk about us?” he asked hopefully.
“I’m really not in the mood for talking,” I told him. I hoped he’d get the hint without me being rude. I barely had the words out when it started to happen. The numbness started to wear off. The pressure in my chest became almost unbearable. My breaths started coming a bit too fast.
“Britta,” Corey said quietly. He pulled me into his chest. Once again, I let him.
Big, fat, wet teardrops started to leak out. Corey just let me cry all over him. I half wondered what kind of mixed messages I was sending. But I was too much of a mess to care. He reached over for the box of tissues on the end table.
I managed to keep the volume turned down. There wasn’t a whole lot I could do about the volume of tears that I cried. We sat there, silent other than my quiet sobbing and sniffling and Corey’s murmuring that it would be okay.
I took the tissues and then he wrapped me up in his arms again. My entire body ached with missing Tristan already. While being with Corey didn’t feel bad, it didn’t feel right, either.
“I’m fine now,” I finally said. I wasn’t. But it also wasn’t fine that he was there. I took the tissues and scrubbed at my face until it was dry.
Corey was watching me. His expression made it clear that he knew I was lying. He reached over and tucked my hair behind my ear. I was sure I was a mess. Most people are not pretty criers, but I knew I could become downright hideous. Blotchy face, bright red nose, swollen eyes. Corey had the decency to pretend not to notice.
“Maybe you should call Willow? Maybe she could come stay with you?”
I shook my head. I had a broken heart. Not a broken leg. I didn’t need someone to look after me. Besides, she was using her mom’s car. Most likely her mom would need it first thing in the morning.
“I’m fine. I just really want to go to bed.” I hoped that I would feel better in the morning.
He didn’t look like he planned on going anywhere.
“Come on,” I said. I grabbed his hand and pulled him to his feet. Not a well thought out plan on my part because I ended up face to face with him. Making it all too easy for him to slide his hand around the back of my neck and bring his lips to mine.
If it had been anyone else, I’m sure I would’ve stopped him. But Corey was Corey and for better or worse he was familiar. For a few seconds or maybe a few minutes my mind just went on autopilot. I let him kiss me and I was pretty sure that I kissed him back. I had felt rejected by Tristan for a while, tonight, worse than ever. Actually feeling like someone wanted me? It felt good for a change. And while it wasn’t a good reason to let him, it was the only reason I needed.
“I miss you,” he said when he finally pulled away.
“Oh,” I shook my head. “Oh, no.”
He let out a resigned breath, as if he knew what was coming.
“You don’t miss me at all?” he demanded.
I didn’t. Not anymore. But it seemed like a hurtful thing to say. I wished he hadn’t put me on the spot like that. But then I realized he should’ve realized just how awful his timing was.
“Corey, Tristan and I just broke up!”
“Right. I know, it’s just…I thought maybe you still felt something for me,” he said. “I mean, you kissed me back!” He
almost sounded accusatory. “What was that about? If you don’t feel the same way, why did you kiss me back?”
“I shouldn’t have,” I admitted. “It was an accident. A…a reflex.”
“A mistake,” he said. His voice was flat but his expression had hardened. Yet, despite that, he actually seemed surprised.
I felt my shoulders slump. A gritty realization began to slither through me. “Were you so nice to me tonight because you thought…I don’t know…That we would just jump back into a relationship?”
“You ‘jumped’ into your relationship with Tristan in no time at all.” His voice had an accusatory edge.
I tried to keep my voice level. “And you’d jumped into what…three relationships by then?” Admittedly, I was using the term ‘relationships’ loosely. But I could name at least three girls he’d been seen with between the time he broke up with me and by the time I started seeing Tristan.
He shook his head. “I take it this isn’t going to go anywhere.”
“No, Corey, it’s not,” I agreed.
He didn’t argue. He left the room and I followed. He wordlessly got ready to leave. I kept my distance. When he reached for the doorknob, he looked back at me. “For what it’s worth, I am really sorry about Tristan. And I do wish we were still together.”
I didn’t have any more to say to that. So I said nothing as he let himself out.
I just stood there, alone, feeling numb. Wondering how my night had just continued to plummet into a downward spiral. I turned to go to my room when I heard my phone start to ring. It took me a second to realize it was in my coat pocket. I pulled it out, not surprised that I wanted it to be Tristan.
It wasn’t.
“Is that Corey leaving your house?” Jamie demanded.
“Where are you?” I asked.
“Evan was just dropping me off as he was pulling out. Isn’t your mom gone? Why was Corey at your house?”
She was mad, I could tell, though she was trying to hide it. I quickly filled her in on the events of the evening.
“Did you know about Jayde?” I demanded when I’d finished.
“Are you kidding me? Of course I didn’t know about Jayde. Are you sure you’re right? I mean, are you positive you’re right?” Her voice was cloaked in disbelief.
“I’m positive. I told you, I saw him. When he came to Krista’s, he didn’t deny it.”
“So,” she said carefully. “Where is he now?”
Just when I thought my heart couldn’t twist itself into any tighter of a knot, it did. “He’s not home?”
She didn’t say anything.
“Jamie?”
“No,” she finally said. “He’s not. And he wasn’t at Krista’s either. He never came in.”
“Well,” I said, trying to keep my voice light but failing completely. “My guess? He’s probably with Jayde.”
18
“Why are you getting a mint hot chocolate?” Willow demanded. “You always get vanilla. Vanilla cappuccino or vanilla hot chocolate, whichever, but always vanilla. Always.”
Was I really that predictable? Probably.
I blinked back tears. I wasn’t about to admit it was because mint reminded me of Tristan. So I shrugged. “I’m tired of vanilla.”
Jamie didn’t comment. She narrowed her eyes at me instead. I think she knew but was kind enough not to point out that she knew.
I hadn’t really wanted to make the trip to Common Grounds. But when they’d both shown up on my doorstep, insisting they weren’t going to let me wallow, I was outmatched. And they had been right. If left alone, that’s exactly what I would’ve done for the rest of the day. In fact, that’s exactly what I’d been doing. It had been after noon when they’d shown up but I hadn’t even gotten out of bed yet. I was just buried under the covers, feeling sorry for myself. Or in other words, wallowing.
But now, I was seated in our favorite booth. I was trying to let myself be comforted by the familiar scent of coffee and the company of my friends. Jamie had ordered scones for us. I wasn’t sure why she bothered. She had to have known I wouldn’t be hungry. Instead, I began mindlessly crumbling it into little pieces.
They had both insisted I would feel better if I got out of the house. So far, they were wrong.
“I’m not going to be caught in the middle. But I am taking sides. I’m on your side. You know that, right?” Jamie asked. “I gave him the silent treatment all morning. Not that he really cares or even notices. I mean, I don’t talk to him a whole lot anyway. Especially lately because he’s never home.” She winced at the last part. “Sorry.”
I shrugged. “It’s fine. You were right all along. This was a terrible idea.”
She looked at me sympathetically. “To be honest, I thought it would be you breaking his heart. Not the other way around. I thought this would end with me being mad at you. Not with me being so furious with my brother that I can’t even look at him.”
Willow gave me a sad smile. “Not me. I just thought the two of you would work out. Like, maybe be forever or something. I never thought some little hussy would—”
“Well,” Jamie said as she cut her off. “He and the little hussy won’t be seeing much of each other for a while.”
“Why?” I asked. I wasn’t sure I really wanted to know. The question had just snuck right out of my mouth.
“He broke curfew by a few hours last night. Mom and Dad were furious. They were waiting up for him. Let’s just say, he’s not going to be leaving the house for a while,” Jamie informed us. “It didn’t help matters at all when he refused to tell them where he’d been. And they knew he wasn’t with you because his car wasn’t at your house. And when he came home, he was obviously coming from town.”
I felt myself blinking back tears again. I had one guess where he’d been. I couldn’t even get a few hours out of him during the week. And last night he broke curfew by several hours. Wasn’t that just sweet and lovely?
“Can we maybe not talk about Tristan?” I asked. I thought the whole idea of getting me out of the house was to cheer me up. Not to bring me down.
“Let’s talk about Corey,” Willow suggested. She’d placed her mug of tea back down on the table. She was leaning forward on her elbows.
“Let’s not,” I tossed back. To be honest, that was the last thing I expected her to say.
“He came back to Krista’s last night,” Willow told me. “He was really upset. He said he’d blown it with you for good. He couldn’t stop talking about how much he missed you. He got a little carried away. He probably had a bit too much to drink.”
I groaned. I was suddenly pretty sure I knew what was coming next. When Corey was in one of his moods, and when he was drinking…it seemed to always have the same end result.
“I don’t think I want to hear this,” I told her.
Jamie leaned forward, grinning at Willow. “Oh, I think I do.”
Willow’s face became a little too serious. “He was a wreck.”
“I’m sure,” I muttered.
“I mean, he was fine at first. Well,” she conceded, “not fine. But just talking at first.”
“The more he drank, the worse he got?” I guessed.
“Corey was crying Britta! Crying!” Willow whisper-yelled to me.
I think maybe I was supposed to feel bad about this. Or possibly just surprised. But I didn’t. And I wasn’t. I was used to it.
Because, oddly enough, “Corey’s a crier,” I said without a lot of sympathy. “I mean, not always. But when he starts drinking? If things don’t go his way? He’s like one big blubbering mess of a pity party.” I have to say, the first time, possibly even the second or third time it happened, I was touched. I felt bad. I felt like the whole ordeal was touching and endearing. But then I just realized the truth. The boy cannot tolerate liquor. Sad, but true. Once I’d made that connection, it no longer seemed endearing. It just seemed…awkward. And though it wasn’t like it happened all the time, or even all that often, it had happened more
than enough during the time we were together.
Willow gave me a sympathetic look. As though she thought I was only pretending to blow off what she thought was a monumental revelation.
I shrugged and took a careful sip of my hot chocolate. My mint hot chocolate. I stuffed down a sad little whimper. Maybe mint had been a bad idea. A sad little reminder that I didn’t need.
“I should’ve gotten vanilla,” I muttered.
“I knew it,” Willow muttered back. Though she had no idea what the reason was behind my change of heart. “So, anyhow, Corey?” she pressed.
I shook my head. “No, no to Corey. No to even talking about Corey.”
“But Britta,” Willow sighed. “You should’ve seen him. It was really sweet. We talked for hours—”
I raised my eyebrows at that.
She blushed.
“Well, Willow,” Jamie said, as she cocked her head to the side. “I do think you have some details you might need to share.”
Willow cringed. “Okay. But it’s not what it sounds like.”
“Go on,” I said. My interest was piqued whether I wanted it to be or not. Or maybe I just wanted to hear about something that would keep my mind off of Tristan.
“Okay,” she relented. Then she blew out a breath. I got the feeling she was preparing to make a confession.
Jamie and I glanced at each other. We were probably wearing matching looks of confused wonderment.
“Well,” Willow said, starting again. “I thought I should get him out of Krista’s. I mean, he was a wreck. So I thought maybe he should have a little bit of privacy. Besides, I didn’t want him driving, obviously.”
“Uhhuh, go on,” Jamie prodded when Willow paused.
“So we went for a drive,” Willow said with a shrug. “We talked for a long time.”
“How long?” I asked out of curiosity. It wasn’t that I minded but the thought of Willow and Corey together was just…bewildering. It had been late when he’d left my house. So by the time he’d met up with Willow, it was obviously later still. Unlike Jamie and me, her parents were pretty laid-back. She didn’t really have a curfew.
“Hmm, what? Oh, the drive? Maybe an hour or so. And then he was hungry so we went out for burgers,” she admitted as she fidgeted with her napkin.
