by V. St. Clair
Asher grimaced and said, “Oh yes, you were quite sick with the side-effects. We had your group pulled from the arena and Kilgore and Reede took you from Zane and carried you here, while I went to get Laurren and Razelle.”
“So I was just seeing random flashes of memories every time I woke up for a second?” Hayden frowned thoughtfully. “But that doesn’t make sense, because I thought I saw Mistress Razelle screaming at you and Master Laurren, dragging you all out of the infirmary by the ears.”
“Oh, no, that wasn’t a memory…that was actually happening when you flitted into consciousness,” Asher admitted unabashedly.
“What?” Hayden asked in amazement. “But why would she do that? I’ve never seen her get that angry before about anything.”
Asher grimaced and said, “She is pretty hard to anger, but if you ever do get her riled up then watch out.” He smirked. “She was livid that Laurren and I had allowed you to take Mnemora, knowing the possible effects, and she expressed her displeasure with a mixture of spells and admonishments. It was awesome.”
Hayden occasionally had cause to wonder whether his mentor was entirely sane, and the admiration in his tone as he described being attacked by a colleague made him consider it again now.
“So she actually dragged you two out of the infirmary?” he suppressed a laugh with difficulty.
“Oh yes,” Asher admitted brightly. “Then she screamed at us to go to our rooms for the night or risk annihilation.”
This time Hayden did laugh. “She tried to send you to your room like she’s your mother or something?” he asked in disbelief. “What did you and Laurren say back to her?”
Asher gave him a funny look and said, “Nothing. We went to our rooms,” like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Seeing the look on Hayden’s face he added, “At that point there wasn’t much else for us to do, and there was the vague possibility that Razelle would actually try to murder us if we refused. Besides, I’d never been grounded before, so it was an interesting experience.”
Hayden had no idea what to say to that, so he changed the subject.
“How come it’s you that came to see me instead of her? I was sure her apprentice was going to get her when he saw I was awake.”
Master Asher’s expression darkened momentarily when he said, “She isn’t here right now. I asked to be informed when you woke up, and no one thought to argue the point.”
“Am I alright to leave the infirmary, or do I have to stay overnight?”
“You should be fine by now. We’re pretty sure the Mnemora has left your system entirely, and you’ve already missed one day of school.”
“Wait, I missed an entire day?” Hayden grimaced at the thought of how much homework he was going to have to make up. “And no offense, but you were pretty sure I was clear after lunch the other day, and look how that turned out.”
Asher grinned evilly and said, “Well, I’m much more likely to be right this time around. Come on, let’s get you something to eat and you can be on your way.”
They stopped by the empty dining hall and knocked on the door to the kitchens. The last time Hayden had come here at night for a meal, the cook on duty made him recite poetry for his supper. Apparently having the Prism Master alongside him kept anyone from making a similar request this time around, and he was given a pot roast sandwich and sent on his way, parting company with Master Asher in the pentagonal foyer.
He made his way upstairs alone, cramming his mouth full of sandwich as he climbed and offering Bonk the scraps. He opened the door to his room to find all three of his roommates within, though for some reason they stopped talking and looked almost guilty as soon as they caught sight of him.
“About time you woke up,” Zane greeted him with a wry smile. “Thought you were going to sleep until the summer holiday.”
“Hey, now that’s a plan,” Hayden rolled his eyes and sat down at his desk.
“What in the world happened to you, anyway?” Tamon prodded curiously. “It seems like there’s always something crazy going on with you.”
Hayden frowned and said, “It’s no big mystery. I took an experimental elixir earlier today to try and call up a certain memory, and nothing happened until the challenge arena when I used Tess’s Strength elixir. Apparently the two shouldn’t be mixed.” He shrugged.
“After I lost my arm I was pretty offended that you were just standing there like an idiot instead of defending me,” Zane observed dryly. “But after you started spraying blood out of your nose like a fountain and collapsed, I forgave you and helped haul your flailing corpse out of the arena.”
Hayden chuckled and said, “Thanks for that. You know that under normal circumstances I would have at least thrown a shoe at the person who cut off your conjuring hand, maybe spoken sternly to him as well.”
“Good to know I can count on my friends.”
“Speaking of the arena, I forgot to ask Master Asher about the scores,” Hayden remembered suddenly. “How did we do?”
“Pretty well, considering I still have no idea what that arena was even supposed to be about,” Zane brightened. “You pulled a nine for whatever reason, and so did I. Tess and Lorn got eights.”
Hayden frowned. “How did we manage a nine? All we did was run through the woods from people who were trying to kill us for no good reason.”
“Like I said, beats me.”
Conner was leaning against the wall, looking almost hesitant as he asked, “Have you seen Tess since the arena?”
Hayden gave him a funny look and said, “No, I was busy dying of blood loss and whatever else that stuff did to me. Why, was I supposed to?”
“I was just wondering,” Conner said in an offhanded way. “She said she was busy tonight after dinner, and I thought she might be going to sit by your sickbed and just didn’t want to say.”
“No, she wasn’t with me—or at least she wasn’t when I woke up.” Now that he thought about it, he wished she had been there when he woke up. It would have made a nicer sight than being greeted by Bonk.
Conner looked almost awkward when he said, “Oh, cool. Um, can I ask you something, Hayden?”
Zane immediately picked up a book, opened it to a page at random, and began focusing on it intently. Tamon gave his friend a look of warning and shook his head ever-so-slightly, like he knew what was coming and thought it was a terrible idea.
Confused by the behavior of his friends and wondering what he was missing, Hayden said, “Uh, sure. What’s up?”
“I was just wondering…are you…you know…is Tess your girlfriend or something?”
Hayden was completely unprepared for this line of questioning, and as a result he just stared blankly at Conner for a moment with his mouth gaping open, feeling like he’d been clubbed over the head.
Eventually he recovered enough of his wits to say, “What? No, we’re just friends.”
“I’m going to bed, goodnight all,” Tamon—who typically stayed up later than any of them—rolled over in his bed, fully clothed, and faced the wall. Zane was still focusing intently on the book in front of him, though his eyes weren’t moving across the lines so Hayden knew he wasn’t reading.
“So then…” Conner caught his attention once more, “you wouldn’t mind if I asked her out?”
A wave of powerful emotion washed over Hayden quite suddenly, like he had been doused with cold water. He had no idea if he felt panicked or furious, nor did he remember getting to his feet and clenching his hands into fists that made his knuckles stand out against his skin.
“I…what?” he said through clenched teeth, seeing Conner in a new light all of a sudden. They were enemies, why hadn’t he realized that before? How long had this been going on? All this time he was probably cozying up to Tess and Hayden hadn’t even noticed…
“Uh, never mind…you’re obviously not cool with it,” Conner looked away in embarrassment.
Hayden was still trying to get his bearings in this conversation, rattled by the aftereffects of the Mnemora.
“I didn’t know you liked her.”
Looking like he wished he’d never entered into this conversation, Conner shrugged and said, “I didn’t really know her that well before, but she sits with us at meals and we have a class together this year. I wanted to check with you first, because everyone knows you…well,” he tapered off. “Anyway, you’re not okay with it so never mind.”
Hayden’s jaw was clenched so tightly that he thought his teeth were in danger of cracking. Did everyone know how he felt about Tess? Had they known this entire time and they were just laughing about it behind his back? He felt like a fool.
In an effort to sound reasonable he relaxed his jaw and said, “No, you just surprised me. Go ahead and ask her if you want…it’s fine with me.” He had no idea what he was saying, the words coming from him in a falsely casual voice while his brain was screaming, No! Don’t let him ask her out; what if she picks him?!
“Uh, really? Cause you don’t look like you’re okay with it…” Conner trailed off doubtfully.
“What do you mean?” Hayden asked, still in that weirdly calm voice.
“He means that I’m the only thing stopping you from attacking him right now,” Zane put in from behind him, and it was only then that Hayden realized he was clutching a blue prism in his right hand, trying to raise it to his eyepiece. The only thing preventing him was Zane’s hand clenched like a vice over his arm to hold him in place. As soon as he saw this he immediately relaxed and returned the prism to his belt.
“Sorry, that’s…” his nose began to bleed. “It’s the Mnemora, see? It’s left me feeling kind of weird, that’s all…” Hayden lied unabashedly. He knew that the Mnemora had nothing to do with his nosebleed right now; as hard as his heart was beating he’d be lucky if his head didn’t explode.
“Oh, right.” Conner looked like he was just glad for a graceful way to bow out of the conversation. “It was a bad night to ask, I should have known.”
“Yeah, sorry, it’s fine. Like I said, go ahead and ask her if you want. I’m just going to go downstairs and get something for this nosebleed.” Hayden backed out of the room, shutting the door behind him and leaning against it with his eyes shut until he calmed down. He could hear Tamon’s voice inside saying, “I told you it was a terrible idea. You’re lucky he didn’t jump you for asking.”
Annoyed, Hayden pinched his nose to stop the trickle of blood and walked off down the hallway, heading towards the main stairwell even though it was after curfew. For a wild moment he considered going to Tess’s room and warning her about Conner, but he had no idea what that would accomplish other than to make him look insane.
She isn’t yours anyway; she can go out with whoever she wants, as long as it isn’t you.
He was quite firm on that point, little though he liked it.
He continued down the stairs as quietly as possible, thinking to go outside and get some fresh air until he felt calm and levelheaded again. He was already embarrassed about the way he reacted in front of his roommates; exactly how they expected, apparently.
The air outside felt refreshingly cool, a pleasant breeze blowing across the grounds, and for a moment Hayden just stood in the main courtyard savoring it. He leaned back against the trunk of a pear-blossom tree, the petals drifting down to settle in his hair as he took calming breaths and regained his composure. He had no idea how long he stood there, only that his focus was broken by the swish of robes as someone appeared in front of him in the courtyard.
“Master Reede?” Hayden jumped in surprise. “What are you doing here?” he asked without thinking.
The Master of Conjury arched an eyebrow and said, “Isn’t that my line? Last time I checked, I was allowed outside after curfew and you weren’t.”
“Sorry, sir,” Hayden apologized quickly, waiting to see if he was going to get detention for being out of bounds. As far as he knew, Master Reede always had mixed feelings about him anyway.
“As it happens, I was returning from a meeting with the Council of Mages. What’s your reason for being out here so late at night?”
Hayden didn’t dare ask what the meeting with the Council was about, though he was quite curious.
“I—uh…had an argument with one of my roommates, and I left to cool off,” he paraphrased, expecting to be prodded for more details, but Master Reede simply nodded and changed the subject.
“Asher says he’s been beating the snot out of you, trying to teach you to defend yourself in a fight.”
Despite the fact that it wasn’t really a question, Hayden nodded and said, “Yes, sir,” wondering at the suddenly pensive expression on the Master’s face.
“Are you making any progress?”
Hayden shrugged. “Yes and no. Sometimes I surprise him and it takes him more than a minute to crush me, and I am learning new alignments…he’s just much better than me.”
Reede tilted his head in appreciation of the honest response and said, “Well, that may always be true, as he’ll always have more experience than you.” He changed the subject again. “Have you been practicing with your friends?”
“Practicing combat with them?” The idea had never even occurred to him. “Uh, no, I haven’t been. Why?”
“It wouldn’t be a bad idea,” Reede suggested mildly. “They’re more on your level than Asher, and if they’re going to be following you into whatever deathtrap you get involved in this year, they’ll need better training as well.”
Hayden wanted to deny that he would get involved with anything dangerous this year, but since the historical evidence strongly suggested otherwise he kept his mouth shut.
“At least help Zane and your girlfriend—Tess—since they’re the most likely to be fighting by your side someday.”
Hayden’s embarrassment, so recently abated, flared up abruptly as he barked out, “She isn’t my girlfriend! Do I need to post a sign in the dining hall?!”
Master Reede quirked an eyebrow at him and said, “Oh, are you two still playing that game?” like it was a matter of no importance.
“It—it isn’t a game,” Hayden insisted. “You don’t understand.”
Now the Master of Conjury snorted in obvious derision and said, “Oh yes, you are the very first boy to ever have complicated feelings for a girl. No one could possibly understand what you’re going through.”
Nettled, Hayden snapped, “It isn’t that—or it isn’t just that.” He had no idea why he was talking to the Master of Conjury about his feelings for Tess, but the world seemed determined to punish him today for some reason.
“Enlighten me,” Reede sighed, sounding bored.
“Look, Tess used to get picked on a lot; people called her Tess the Mess, just because she dropped out of most of the major arcana after her first year. It’s stupid, because she’s really nice and smart, and it used to drive me nuts. She’s nice to me even though I’m the son of the man who murdered her mother, and for some reason she thinks I’m someone she can depend on, and I try not to let her down.”
He knew he was blathering on like an idiot, but it was dark and he couldn’t see the Master of Conjury properly, which made it easier to pretend that he was ranting to himself.
“You haven’t seen the way people treat her because of me, and that’s just with us being friends. People tell her she’s disgracing her mother’s memory, or that she’s stupid; even her father lectures her about me! If I ever—if she was ever my girlfriend, she would be an outcast because of me. She’s too important for me to let that happen,” he panted, out of breath.
Master Reede was quiet for so long that Hayden hoped he’d gotten bored and gone back inside without him noticing, but finally he said, “It seems like that should be her choice, not yours, but what do I know?” Another moment of silence. “Anyway, enjoy your brooding adolescent emotions; I’m quite tired and ready for bed.”
He began walking towards the castle without another word, clearly unimpressed with Hayden’s longwinded explanation. Annoyed, Hayden trailed after him and said,
“Can I ask you a different question, sir?”
“I don’t see why not.”
“What was the point of the challenge arena we had the other day?” He frowned. “Since when have constructs had human form and tried to kill us, and what were we even supposed to do in there?”
Master Reede stopped in the pentagonal foyer and turned to face him.
“Every year we up the ante in the arenas to prepare you for the real world. In the real world you are likely to be attacked someday, either by ignorant hill-folk who don’t understand magic, or just by people who don’t like you for whatever reason.” He shrugged.
“So we were supposed to kill them?” Hayden scowled.
“Did I say that?” Master Reede countered mildly.
“Then we weren’t supposed to kill them?”
“I don’t recall saying that either,” he said airily.
Frustrated, Hayden folded his arms in front of his chest and asked, “Well then what was the point? To confuse us? We didn’t have enough information to know what we were supposed to be doing with the constructs, or if they even had magic—though after fighting them I’m guessing not, or they would have used it.”
Master Reede sighed and said, “Hayden, there is more than one way to test a person. We give arenas like that in fifth year because we want to see what drives your decisions. You won’t always have all of the pertinent facts when you’re fighting for your life or fleeing from an assailant. If you had immediately started killing the constructs the moment you laid eyes on them, that tells us something about your character. If you refuse to do anything but stun even when it’s obvious you’re about to be murdered, well…that tells us something as well.”
“So what’s the right answer?” Hayden asked curiously.
Master Reede laughed and said, “How should I know? What makes you think my morality is any more ‘right’ than your own? The scoring of that arena is often a source of much debate amongst my peers and I for that very reason. Like I said, it’s just a test.”
“Yes, but tests are supposed to have right and wrong answers,” Hayden insisted.
Master Reede gave him a funny look and said, “If you believe that then you’ve never truly been tested before. Now go to bed, before I give you detention.”
