She got up from the table and made her way into her study, enjoying the quiet of the house and the light streaming through the windows. The wall was adorned with pictures – they were there to make her smile, but it had been forever since she’d so much as glanced their way. She could remember when each one had been taken, and most of them felt as phony as Andy Peters. Somewhere along the way she’d gotten so sure she couldn’t achieve happy that she’d stopped trying.
She stepped up to the wall, letting her fingers brush against the frames. The ones with Bea were genuine – all twinkling happy spirit that could never quite contain itself. Faith hadn’t stepped foot on Sorrento Ranch since her wedding, but Bea owned at least twenty hotels, and Faith stayed in them every chance she got. Bea had come to her more times than she cared to admit.
All the ones of Attitunes were real – their first day, their last day, all the weddings since. The special occasions had her smile a tad more strained, but it had been real. They were all just beacons of a carefree life she couldn’t understand any longer. She’d never stopped caring though, about any of them, even Maya; there’d been too much history to just throw it all away. She’d been mad but never not cared.
The same could also be said for Dustin, though there wasn’t a picture of him on her wall. If she’d hung the highlights of their relationship in a frame, what would she be staring at? Him and his horses – the first moment he let something other than his annoyance shine through his tough exterior. The first night they spent standing around a flower pot, wondering what kind of insane path Bea had put them on. Neither of them were gardeners; how could they care for a tree? Dustin had grew into a gardener, hadn’t he? Was it time for her to follow suit?
Faith approached her bookcase and opened a hidden drawer. Instead of reaching inside, she pulled the whole thing out and plunked cross-legged right down on the floor, the drawer perched in her lap. She’d hidden every remnant of Dustin in there, wiping away every trace of him in her life. Except for the lemons; she could never quite part with the lemons.
The first thing she grabbed was a sonogram. She turned it over and ran her hand over the words on the back. Meyer Ingrid Andrews. She thought about what Dustin had said, a cherub face with blonde pigtails and mischievous eyes, covered in dirt and surrounded by critters. Always, always smiling…She hugged the photo to her chest, a watery smile on her face.
Her wedding ring was underneath, the white gold band inlaid with tiny diamonds Dustin had been so ashamed of. Faith had secretly loved it, the pure simplicity of it. Their love needing no extra trappings. There weren’t any huge gemstones, but the engraving was so much better than a diamond solitaire. She bent it towards the light so she could read the simple etchings. Sweet enough to always crave more. She’d told him once during an argument that lemons were bittersweet, that maybe their life was destined to be too. That had been his answer.
Dozens more things were inside. Letters and pictures he’d sent her while she was touring. The flower she had in her hair the day he took her on the horseback ride that changed her life. The bracelet he’d made for her out of reeds when she told him who she really was, his word that he cared not one wit about her money or fame. The first clippings of their lemon tree. Every item made her remember the boy she’d fallen in love with one crazy summer. That boy was now a man trying to court her with lemon desserts.
She looked away from the pile of memories, and her eyes fell on her desk, the USB stick the girls had handed her catching her attention. She still hadn’t looked at it, not wanting to open up that wound. Then Dustin had started sending her text messages and did it for her. And now she wondered what was on it. Had a bedtime story really sent Harmony on a forbidden road trip halfway across the state? Must be one hell of a bedtime story…
Faith set the drawer aside and went to her laptop, plugged in the drive, and pushed play, her curiosity now too high to overcome. It was an hour before she moved. His voice had her living it all over again, reminding her of all the sweet tucked in with the sour. It was the emotion in his voice, the strong, stoic, silent man she loved, that had her trapped in place. The girls had been right – it wasn’t just a bedtime story. It was a love story. Their love story. And one she was no longer ready to end.
Chapter 26
Faith laughed at the words on her phone, sitting in a comfy armchair with her feet flung over the arm. You are ridiculous. I never said that.
You did. You So did. I should have recorded you for proof, Dustin replied.
That was before recording devices fit in pockets.
Should have a blanket rule that all conversations take place in a recording studio then.
Faith glanced at the clock on the wall, and her brow furrowed slightly. Your delivery boy is late.
Impossible, was the reply. He always arrives exactly when he should.
I’m looking at the clock, and it's five past the hour, she argued. Dustin had said she was in for a treat this morning, and she was hoping for blackberries on her tarts.
Are you sure nothing has arrived? The message pinged on her phone just as the doorbell rang.
Saved by the bell, she typed before extricating herself from the chair. Her smile was happy and light, so unlike the way she’d greeted the first delivery a month ago. The idea of being courted with a burner phone and sweets was insane, but it worked for them, slowly reconnecting the way people do now with text messages and conversations that never have to end. She hadn’t felt this giddy in years, waiting for the phone to make noise and her daily tart delivery.
She was definitely in for a surprise when she pulled the door open; Dustin was standing on the other side, pink bakery box in his hand. “If you make them yourself, why are they always in bakery boxes?” she asked, hand on her hip and smile of her face.
“Nieces decide on the pretty packaging. I would have sent them in Tupperware.”
“So what’s my surprise then?” she asked, trying not to smile but failing.
He raised an eyebrow at her as he replied, “Me.”
Faith grabbed him by the front of his shirt and pulled him into the house, so forcefully the box fell out of his hands and landed upside down on the front step. Neither of them cared.
His kiss was even more addictive than she remembered. “What took you so damn long?” she asked between brushes of their lips.
“Me?” he asked in surprise as she pushed him back against her front door.
“Yeah, you.” He leaned in towards her, but she backed away slightly, stopping to catch her breath. “Well, what’s the answer?”
He caressed her arm with the back of his hand, sending shivers up her spine. “I didn’t want to cloud the issue with this.” He grinned. “We both know you can’t keep your hands to yourself.”
“Me?” she responded, exactly like he had.
“Yeah, you.”
She shrugged one shoulder. “Been accused of much worse.”
His voice turned seductive. “I bet you have.” He grabbed her waist and pulled her up against him. She didn’t resist his lips this time.
“Tell me you missed me,” he demanded as his mouth skirted across her jaw.
“Oh, damn it, Dusty, I missed you.” She sighed.
“Which part?” he asked. “This part?” His lips skimmed the column of her neck, his tongue darting out to tease her. “Or this part?” His hand slipped under her shirt and stroked against her ribs, rising higher until he was cupping her breast through the lace fabric.
“Or this?” he asked, more groan than sentence as his hand traveled across her backside, raising her leg slightly and pulling her closer, molding their bodies together.
“All the parts, baby,” she said, her hands in his hair. “So much better when they come together as the whole.”
“Are we really gonna do this?” he asked against the pulse in her throat.
“Dear God, I hope so.” She sighed again.
He cleared his throat and pulled back slightly. “I don’t mean this.” He w
aved a hand between them. “I mean us.”
She propped an elbow on his shoulder and covered her eyes for a second, trying to regain some semblance of coherent thought. “Any chance we can have this conversation naked?”
He laughed, one of the deep throaty laughs she used to dream about, and a feeling of peace slid over her. She disentangled herself from his embrace and took his hands in hers. “There’s something I have to do first.”
“It’s not sow your wild oats, is it? Because you’ve had ten years to do that, Ally.”
She laughed. “You’re the wildest oat I’m ever going to sow, Dustin Michael Andrews.” She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him in for a kiss. “And don’t you ever forget it.”
“Yes, ma’am.” He kissed her passionately, causing her knees to weaken, before setting her away from him.
“You want to go someplace more comfortable?” she asked with a bat of her eyes.
“No. I mean, yes I do,” Dustin clarified at the startled look on her face, “but I’m not going to. No shenanigans until you’re all in.” Another hand wave.
“Shenanigans?” Faith laughed.
“Been spending way too much time with Peter.”
“Well, if I can’t entice you with sex, how about food?” She was already pulling him towards the kitchen.
“Do you want me to grab the tarts?”
“No.” She laughed. “I have plenty of those already.”
“Do you have lemonade?” he asked.
Faith raised an eyebrow at him and scoffed. “Did you forget who you’re talking to, mister? You can always find lemonade here.”
Faith looked at Bea and smiled. “I’m sorry it took so long to actually make this happen,” she said with sincerity.
“All that matters is it’s happening now. And even better than I could have imagined.” The grounds of the ranch were inundated with personnel – security, stagehands, singers. But the hustle and bustle was definitely worth it. All the public knew was Faith West was performing a pop-up charity concert. Ten dollars got you in the door for “An Afternoon of Surprises,” – or so the posters all over Instagram and Twitter promised. Harmony and Melody had been in charge of packaging for her too. They did not disappoint.
“So, are you going to tell me what surprises you have in store for us today, young lady?”
“Sorry,” Faith said with a twinkle, “but you’re just going to have to wait and see like everyone else.”
“Hmmm.”
“No special treatment for meddling widows, that’s how it goes.”
“Maybe next time I won’t meddle then.”
Faith pulled her in for a hug and whispered in her ear, “Don’t you ever stop.”
She exited Bea’s office and made her way to the huge white tent set on top of the hill, the same place where she’d had her impromptu wedding. It was the closest place to the outdoor amphitheater for them all to get ready.
“What are you guys doing here?” Faith asked in surprise when she saw Trevor and Madison round the corner of the tent holding hands. “I never thought you’d actually come. You left the baby?”
Trevor laughed. “Our place is done, and we’re getting ready to move back. When we showed the flyer to my mom, she insisted we leave so she could have some quality baby time.” They’d texted her a picture of Ella the week before, and Faith had responded with one of her baby, the flyer announcing the concert.
“I’m amazed at this turnout,” Madison said.
“And in just under twenty-four hours.” Faith breathed a sigh of relief that it was all coming together. “Well, welcome!” She said, reaching over to give them both a hug. “Want to be reintroduced to a girl group?”
“That’s the big surprise?” Madison asked. “Attitunes reunion.”
“One of them,” Faith replied coyly.
She took them into the tent and smiled at the chaos. She loved the energy and creation of it. The birth of a performance. Charlie – former Beach Babe, current fashion correspondent – was in the corner trying to convince Maya that leggings were so over and refusing to respond to anyone trying to address her as Charlotte. Tara – Skater Girl – was supposed to be practicing choreography since she’d always been particularly bad at it but found the only crew member having a bad day and started consoling him instead.
“Oh, you’ll like this. Trevor, do you want to meet Angie Hudson?”
“Wait, Angelica Hudson?” he asked as they made their way over to the corner. “She was in a girl group?” His surprise was normal. Unlike Faith, who’d stayed in music, no one remembered that the all-star tech mogul and coder extraordinaire used to be the Country Honey dressed in daisy dukes, flannel shirts, and pig tails. She’d shed her persona the most. And she’d been the most excited to take a sojourn from the real world and put it back on for an afternoon.
“Faith, hey. Don’t know why it’s not working, but I will figure it out. I will not succumb to calling tech support,” Angie said as they approached.
“Good thing I brought my own then. Angie, Trevor. Trevor, Angie.”
Angie looked up. “What, you don’t trust me?”
Faith laughed, knowing her innocent face hid a wicked sense of humor. A decade ago those words always got her into trouble. “Not in the least. But I just so happen to have a techie of my own who wanted to meet you.”
Angie turned and eyed Trevor critically before smiling and extending her hand to him. “Want to have some fun, Trevor?”
“Not too much fun,” Madison said. “He’s excitable.”
“I am not a puppy,” he said.
“Yes, you are,” Madison said with a grin as she ruffled his hair.
“That your wife?” Angie asked as Trevor kneeled next to her to see the computer screen.
“Yeah.”
“She’s hot. Not as hot as mine though.”
“I beg to differ,” a woman’s voice said as she approached the desk. She sat a cup of coffee down next to Angie. “His wife is Madison Duncan. You are breathtaking,” she said, taking one of Madison’s hands. “Hi, I’m Lara.”
“Nice to meet you. And it’s actually exhaustion. I think I get to keep the pregnancy glow for another few days before the dark circles take up permanent residence.”
Charlie’s voice vibrated across the room. “Did you just have a baby? I need to see pictures!” And then all the rest of the girls converged on Madison and her phone, making cooing noises and showing off their own photos. Faith stepped back and smiled at the interruption. It was different than before, than concerts and music videos and magazine covers. But it was also the same – the bonding and comradery. She’d been there for the big moments, for the weddings and funerals, but she’d never fully showed up again. Not until today.
“You okay?” Maya asked, her shrewd eyes taking in Faith standing slightly apart.
“Yeah, I’m good.” And she was.
The next few hours passed by in a blur of activity. The only people who knew what she was planning was her band and the Attitunes themselves. Not Bea or the girls, not Jackson, not Dustin. The more people she had to tell, the more she feared she’d never go through with it.
Thirty minutes before the concert was set to start, Faith spotted Trevor with a determined look on his face. “What are you doing?” Faith asked.
“Is he out there?” Trevor replied instead.
“Somewhere.” She wanted to peek but wasn’t sure which would be worse, seeing him or not seeing him at all. She took a deep breath and injected a note of teasing into her voice. “What, you think you’ll know him on sight?”
“He’s brooding, isn’t he? All the girls go for brooders these days.”
“Yours didn’t.”
Trevor turned towards her with a grin. “But I did.”
“Madison’s not a brooder.” Faith laughed.
“Not anymore.” He winked at her before walking away.
Faith just shook her head. Maybe her guy wasn’t a brooder anymore either. Did broode
rs make award-winning tarts?
Faith walked out across the stage, and the excited screams were deafening. She stepped up to the microphone and smiled. “How’s everybody doing?” Her words were met with cheers, and she fidgeted slightly as she waited for them to die down. “Thank you all for coming out today for this afternoon of surprises on behalf of a wonderful cause, to help at-risk youth find better paths in life. And boy, let me tell you, have we got some surprises in store for you tonight. All your friends – going to be totally jealous.”
The crowd went wild, and Faith’s smile turned genuine. She was getting into the groove of the performance, and her nerves disappeared as she slipped effortlessly back into the guise of performer. It wasn’t until later when her heart would start pounding again.
She started singing right away, going through three of her most popular songs before addressing the crowd again. “Time for something new,” she said. “This is a song I like to call Lemon Tree.” She resisted the urge to glance towards Dustin – she wouldn’t be able to get through it if she did.
Faith started to sing, and the arena quieted down. Her heart pounded so loudly in her chest it wouldn’t have surprised her if the microphone had picked it up.
We used to have conversations now we only have words,
both of us always screaming to be heard.
About the past, about the present, about the needless things between.
About the silence and the heartache and the fears that wouldn’t leave.
How I yearn for that lemon tree
back when we were still meant to be,
a life before us and so many things unseen,
all of it possible in the shade of our lemon tree
She closed her eyes, needing to pretend she was alone if she was going to finish. This song that had needed an ending for a decade.
We’ve done battle, been shipwrecked and marooned,
simply succeeding in opening old wounds.
Because words sting as they fly, cutting deep, in need of stitches.
Pucker Up Page 23
