“With you, it’s impossible to tell.” He took another step forward. “Do you want to make a deal, Raven?”
My heart thundered in my chest like a wild storm. How did he know my name?
“Well, that depends on the deal, doesn’t it?”
His eyes twinkled. “I know who you are and I know who sent you. I could feel you watching me before I saw you and I knew she had sent you. I gave you a peace offering but you’re still here, so I’m offering you something better, something sweeter.”
I crossed my arms over my chest, my intrigue so intense it was lacerating. “Continue.”
“I will give you your freedom.”
“I am free.”
“Are you? Really? What will she do to you if you fail this mission? What would she do to you if you decided you’d had enough of your life, if you wanted to walk away?” He took another step forward. “You’re not free, I can see the truth in your eyes. I can set you free, Raven.”
This man was a fool. “And how are you going to do that?”
He smiled. “You’re going to take me to her and I’m going to do the one thing you can’t—I’m going to kill her. And as an added bonus, I will tell you why she sent you for me.”
“Why are you so confident I can’t kill her myself?”
“Because you would have done it already. Raven: the dark beauty who walks in the night, seducing and slaughtering her targets. They say you don’t have a soul, but that’s not true, I can see the good in you. She is the only person who you believe has ever cared for you, the only person who has ever loved you, and it’s for that reason that you can’t kill her.”
“You are mistaken, my friend.” I had heard enough. This had been a mistake. Another damn mistake.
“No, I’m not. Think it over, Raven. If we have a deal, meet me here at sunrise. I’m a man of my word and I will deliver what I promise. Just like you, I never fail.”
He took one final step closer and raised his hand, twirling a lock of my hair around his finger. “Such a beauty… you deserve better.”
“Go home to your wife,” I said, infuriated that I had let him win at my own game. He was as cunning as I was, and just as dangerous. He was my equal.
His body shook with laughter. “I plan to. Meet me here tomorrow, Raven.”
CHAPTER FOURTEEN – ZAHRA
Today has been a seesaw of the past and present, Zahra reflected as she sat quietly in the back of the car. Last night’s dream had given her a glimmer of hope that Raven might not have killed Dryas, but Zahra wasn’t holding her breath for a happy ending.
Stifled by the enclosed space, Zahra wound down the window and rested her elbow on the window seal, letting the whirling breeze calm her mind. What if she dreamed again tonight? She had thought about it all day. There was no valid excuse not to stay at her boyfriend’s house and, sooner or later, they would have to sleep in the same bed again. However, she did come up with somewhat of a plan to keep her dreams at bay, but she had no idea whether it would actually work or not. Zahra had found some decongestant medication in her cabinet that contained pseudoephedrine. She knew the medication wouldn’t keep her awake all night, but it could potentially stop her from falling into a deep sleep. She knew from her research that most dreaming occurs during the REM phase, so as long as she only drifted into a light sleep she might be able to stave off her dreams. It was a long shot, but it the best she could come up with.
The other problem to contend with was Jayce. She would need to be able to look into his eyes without hesitation, without remorse, without guilt. She had to treat her dreams for what they were, the past, and keep them out of her future. Dryas no longer existed. Nor did Raven. They lived in a past long forgotten and now it was the future: two new people with a fresh start together. Out of sight, out of mind, Zahra told herself. She had to keep her secrets hidden if they were going to have a relationship.
The car pulled up at Jayce’s address and she took a steadying breath before getting out. The doorman greeted her and showed her to the elevator. Jayce’s apartment was on the thirty-second floor.
Zahra raised her hand and knocked on the door. She waited a few moments before it opened and Jayce gestured her in while he spoke on his phone. He guided her to the kitchen, his hand firmly on her ass and she sat on the barstool, listening to his conversation. She couldn’t understand any of it, of course, and in that moment made a decision to learn Japanese. She might not even tell Jayce—that would be a fun trick, Zahra thought. She took the opportunity to cast her eyes over his apartment and it was a typical bachelor pad of sparse, modern design complete with charcoal cabinetry and black leather couches.
“Sorry, my brother Kyoji,” Jayce said, ending the call.
Zahra nodded her head understandingly. “Are you close?”
Jayce smiled oddly at her. “We are very close, much closer than I am with Aoto, my other brother. Kyoji was a teenager when I moved in with my mother. He helped her to raise me and he’s been both a good and very bad influence.”
“What do you mean by that?” Zahra questioned him.
He had the smile of a devil. “That’s for boys to know only.” He pulled her up. “Let’s cook.”
“Is that your way of changing the subject?” She laughed.
He winked and then she squealed as he secured both hands behind her back and playfully bit her lip. “If I weren’t starving right now, I’d suggest skipping dinner,” he said.
Zahra felt her body react instantly, as it always did for him. It was like her soul longed for him, and with a mind clouded by lust, it was easier to forget their past. She closed her eyes and kissed him like he was the love of her life.
“You should kiss me like that every time,” he said, taking her hand and pressing it against the hard bulge in his pants. She stroked her hand up and down and he groaned before pushing her away. “Dinner,” he said with a hoarse voice. He planted a quick kiss on her lips and then walked over to the stove, grinning, as she stood in the center of his kitchen, aroused and yearning for more. He looked across at her. “Are you going to help?”
She threw a hand towel at him and then asked what he’d like her to do. Jayce put her to work as the sous chef while he controlled the kitchen.
“So what does Kyoji do?”
“He works for my uncle in Tokyo, Head of Operations. Kyoji is perhaps the best problem solver I know.”
“Why doesn’t he work for your father?”
“My father only founded Tohmatsu Ltd. shortly after he met my mother. By that time, Kyoji was already well ingrained in my uncle’s business… I wasn’t the only child to start work at the age of five.” Jayce smiled, tapping her ass as he walked by. “Kyoji loves what he does and he’s very well compensated, so he doesn’t see a need to change. He would be welcome at Tohmatsu any day if he so chose.”
“But not as Vice President?” Zahra teased.
“Fuck no, no one takes my position that easily,” he scoffed.
They talked about little else while they finished cooking dinner. Bloomberg played in the background, which stole Jayce’s attention for infrequent passing moments, but otherwise the apartment was silent. The curtains were drawn, enclosing the couple in their own microcosm, a world so far removed from Zahra’s dreams.
Dinner was ready and they sat at the table to eat. As Zahra took a mouthful of her grilled mushroom risotto, she was glad that they hadn’t skipped dinner—it was delicious. And a vegetarian meal, no less. She wondered how many women Jayce had cooked for and how many lovers he’d had. He’d never spoken about any of them; in fact, he spoke about women very little, including his own mother.
“What is that strange look on your face for?”
“I was thinking that you don’t talk about your mother very often?”
He rubbed his jaw with his right hand as he stretched his legs beneath the table. “For no other reason than it’s difficult to talk about her. She was the most incredible woman I’ve ever known and she died far too young.
She had ovarian cancer. My father spared not a cent finding the best doctors and treatment facilities for her, but in the end all the money in the world couldn’t save her. She died at our family home in Tokyo, with all of us by her side. I don’t know why God took her so early, and perhaps I’ll never know, but what I do know is that life isn’t always fair: you get what you’re given and you make the most of it.”
Zahra nodded her head in agreement and in empathy for the man in front of her, his pain still so evident, pain that may never fully heal. They say time heals all but Zahra wasn’t sure that was true: somewhere, deep inside the soul, that pain might live on for eternity. She had seen parents who had lost a child and had never fully healed. Sure, they went on with their lives, they picked up the pieces, but that wasn’t necessarily healing, it was putting on a brave face and continuing on because there was no other choice.
“How is your father without her?” Zahra asked.
“Lost… He works more hours than I do, even at his age. I don’t think he knows what else to do with himself.” Jayce paused and smiled. “It’s not all bad, though, because if he’s not at the office he’s either bothering myself or my brothers on an hourly basis, so it’s best if he keeps working.” Jayce nodded his head rapidly and Zahra laughed.
“Yes, I can see where you get it from,” she retorted. Jayce’s shoulders shook with laughter but he fully denied any resemblance. Zahra picked up her plate and walked around the table to collect Jayce’s. She paused for a moment and placed a tender kiss on his forehead.
He took the plates from her hands and placed them back on the table. Guiding her onto his lap, she sat straddling him, resting her forehead against his. He closed his eyes, inhaling deeply. His chest rose against hers, stirring the dormant, unreleased lust from his earlier tease. Tiny goose bumps spread over her skin. “I love that,” he uttered, kissing the inside of her arm. He pushed her blouse off her shoulder and placed sweet kisses in the hollow of her collarbone, working up her neck until he was at her lips. “A week without touching you seems like a really long time.” His thumbs brushed over her nipples and they instantly hardened beneath the silk fabric. A sexy smirk formed on his lips.
Zahra slid her hand down to his crotch, incidentally rubbing herself at the same time. His eyes rolled back in his head and he groaned.
“You did miss me,” Zahra said and his cock twitched in response. She undid his pants and he lifted his hips, allowing her to take them off. She kneeled on the floor, between his legs. She took him in her hands and ran her fingers up the length of his shaft, letting her nails scrape over the thin skin of his cock. Jayce groaned again.
When he looked down at her, Zahra smiled at him as she put her wet, soft lips on his cock. He thrust his hips forward, pushing deeper into her mouth. He threaded his fingers through her hair and held her head in position. Zahra gagged, and Jayce mumbled something completely incoherent, but she kept sucking and caressing him with her tongue. He pulsed in her mouth and Zahra was so turned on she knew her own her panties were wet.
“Baby.” Jayce released her head and pulled her up by the arms. He undid her jeans, pulling her panties down with them. “Sit,” he said, biting his lip as she straddled him and lowered on to his cock. Zahra gasped as he stretched her, filling her completely. “Take off your top,” he ordered. Zahra threw her top on the floor of the dining room but she left her bra on—it was new and low cut and barely contained her breasts. Jayce grabbed her ass, spreading her cheeks while she rode up and down on him.
“You feel so good,” Zahra said, not recognizing her own voice. Every nerve ending felt alive and her pelvis was coiling in desire. Jayce traced the crack of her ass with his finger and spanked her.
“Come on my cock, baby,” he said and Zahra bit down on his shoulder as the world shattered around her. He held her tight, their hips grinding more slowly as she trembled in his arms. She opened her eyes. “Thank you,” she said, kissing him.
He smirked again, raising his eyebrows. “You can thank me by getting back on your knees.”
Zahra giggled and did as he wished. He watched her as she licked him clean and then he took his cock in his hand. “Take off your bra and push your tits together, I want to come all over them.”
Zahra took off her bra and then cupped her breasts. His moaning grew heavier and more desperate until he cursed and ejaculated all over her. He exhaled shakily and then looked down at her, smiling. “That’s the hottest thing I’ve ever seen.” This time Jayce didn’t go and get a towel—he picked her up and carried her into the bedroom. “I’m not done with you yet.”
*
When Zahra opened her eyes, the room was in total darkness. Jayce slept beside her, his breathing quiet and steady; a reflection of a peaceful sleep. She had fallen asleep in Jayce’s arms while they were talking and hadn’t taken her pills, but luckily she hadn’t needed them after all—her night had been dream free.
Silently, Zahra drew back the covers and tiptoed to the kitchen, guided by the lights they’d left on, and poured herself a glass of water. She gulped it and then refilled the glass before returning to the bedroom. She was at the door to Jayce’s bedroom when she noticed the painting and the glass dropped from her hand, smashing on the floor.
Jayce jolted upright, looking around like a startled animal. “What? What’s wrong?”
Zahra fought to regain her composure. “I, I tripped,” she stammered. Her legs felt weak beneath her and she held onto the frame but she couldn’t look up, she couldn’t look at the painting of a raven that hung above his bed. She hadn’t seen it when they’d gone to his bedroom last night—she had been too distracted by Jayce.
“Are you okay? Did you fall?” Jayce climbed out of bed and rushed toward her.
“No, no. I’m fine, I just dropped the glass. Be careful,” Zahra said, holding out her palm to stop him from coming any closer. The glass had shattered everywhere—she wasn’t sure where to step and she wasn’t sure if she could physically move her legs that were still heavy with shock.
“Stay there, I’ll grab a towel.” He walked into the bathroom and came back with a handful of towels and two pairs of hotel slippers. He slipped his on as he neared her and handed her the other pair.
With the soles of her feet protected, Zahra used the stack of towels to mop up the water, careful to keep several layers between her hands and the shards of glass. “You’re going to have to throw these out,” she said.
“That’s fine, just push them against the wall. We’ll clean up the rest in the morning.” Jayce yawned. “Let’s go back to bed.”
Jayce’s bedroom was the last place Zahra wanted to go, but there was no way of telling him why without telling him about her dreams. She swallowed the lump in her throat and slowly walked to the bed with her eyes on the ground. When she slid back into the sheets, and into Jayce’s arms, she was shivering.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” he asked, pulling the blanket over her shoulder.
Zahra squeezed his forearm, glad that her back was to him and that he couldn’t see her welling eyes. “Yeah, go back to sleep.”
How much longer could she hide their past from him? And if she told him the truth, what would he think? He will think I’m insane, Zahra thought. I’ll end up in a mental institution and then I’ll lose him and my job. Zahra closed her eyes; she was not going to tell him anything.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN – JAYCE
Zahra shivered in his warm bed and he wrapped his arms around her tighter. Tormenting her with the painting had worked perfectly, so why did he feel a tinge of remorse? He had wanted her to feel guilty, but he hadn’t expected to see such raw pain in her eyes. She didn’t know she had woken him up when she went to the kitchen and she didn’t know he had been watching her when she walked back into his bedroom. Leaving the hallway lights on last night hadn’t been intentional, he had intended for her to see the painting in the morning— after she’d spent the night making love to him, for an extra dose of guilt—but life had created
its own plan and the lights were just bright enough to illuminate his new piece of art.
What was she thinking now? Was she sorry for her past and hiding it from him or was she scheming up her next lie? Thanks to his sound recorder, not only had he heard her talking last night, but he’d also overheard a conversation she’d had on the phone late last week, a conversation to Dr. Moore’s office to book an appointment. At first the conversation hadn’t made sense to him because it was obvious from the dialogue that she had seen him before but she repeated back the address of the appointment as if she were writing it down. Jayce looked up Dr. Moore and the address and soon realized it was for another location that he consulted at and that old Dr. Moore was a regression therapist. It was likely then that she had seen him at another location and this was at least her second appointment, if she hadn’t had more.
So Zahra knew and she wasn’t coming clean and she was continuing to lie to him. One might say that he was just as bad as she was, because he was lying to her too, but he didn’t owe her anything—he hadn’t betrayed her and he wouldn’t be lying to her now if she had just told him about the dream. Other than her tendency to lie, though, she was almost perfect and his biggest challenge, as his father had known, would be to balance the debt without falling in love with her himself. If he fell in love with her, regardless of the outcome of his plan, he was sure to devastate his own soul in the process—it was impossible to hurt the one you love without hurting yourself.
Jayce groaned as his alarm sounded. He rolled over, turned it off, and rolled back to Zahra. She had stopped shivering now but he didn’t think she’d slept again—it was hard to fall asleep when guilt riddled your mind.
“Morning,” he said, nuzzling into her neck. “Do you know your hair smells like bubblegum?”
She turned to him with a half-smile. “Is it the first time you’ve noticed that?”
“No, but this morning it’s really strong. I didn’t notice it last night, but I was slightly preoccupied with your other body parts,” he said and chuckled, twirling a lock of hair around his finger and sniffing it again. “Grape flavor.”
The Secrets of Their Souls Page 12
