As he drained his sixth beer and popped his seventh, his thoughts returned to Suzanne. He recalled the way he’d explored her, the intensity of their contact. He wondered whether she had any clue. Would he find her fascinating once her belly was purged of its living cargo? He imagined her with a flatter stomach, and hoped she’d be nursing for quite awhile.
His thoughts made their way around to her unborn child. Immediately the sensations of total love and acceptance returned to the forefront, the warmth and purity of the fetus enveloping him. Reminiscent of their original contact, the sensations were real, tangible, and all-encompassing – so intense in their pleasure he could nearly taste them.
Pleasure developed his pain like an old Polaroid. He grew angry as the memory of Donna and his own lost child interwove itself with his current focus. His intense feelings about Suzanne’s baby mutated into fantasies about his own.
As he sipped his eighth beer he considered his lost little son. He felt the baby would have been blonde and blue-eyed, and inherit his physique and intelligence. He could easily see the child in his mind. They would have been two of a kind, he and his son, with an affectionate closeness between them rivaling any birth mother and child. Images of Donna began to wink out of his visualization, as though she were merely a means to an end. He smiled as he lay on his back, rays of several different kinds being both absorbed and given off by him.
The ninth beer coincided with finishing the olives. With the last few drops of oil he checked himself for a tan demarcation and smiled at the differing skin tones. He opened his tenth beer and felt lightheaded. Scooting himself to the edge of the deck, he dangled his feet in the cool water. He twisted his head around on his neck, delighted to discover he was nearly pain free.
He reached back behind him and stretched to snag the ice chest, pulling it close. As he dove for the eleventh a concept winked on in the back of his mind like a neon sign. He sat and stared across the lake in deepest thoughts as he drained the can. With the last of the beer he began to write a program.
Desire began to mushroom, a poisonous cloud.
He rose and dumped the ice from the chest into the lake. Into the empty box he threw the twelve cans and the glass olive jar, picking up the towels and heading into the house.
Chapter Sixteen
Kim stood by the left side of the bed, Andy sat in a chair to the right. His hand clutched Dave’s, the three of them intertwined among IV tubes and monitoring wires. Except for his lacerated face, Dave’s entire head was swathed in gauze. His neck was encased by a large brace and he lay flat and still, his breathing shallow and irregular. The doctors had declared him near death, everything humanly possible being done for him in six hours of surgery. The extensive damage had proved irreversible.
Kim’s face was wet with tears. She reached out and caressed the side of Dave’s face and said, “I’ll always love you.” Andy’s eyes were red and swollen, and Jenny stood with her hands on his shoulders. The three sat and waited for him to cross over in an electronic outcropping of Intensive Care.
Suddenly Dave opened his eyes. Jenny cried “Look!” He looked at Kim and Andy, smiling softly. He whispered, “Thanks . . . I’ll be okay. We’ll see each other again, don’t worry.” As the three watched in amazement, Dave looked past them and the pain from his face lifted and floated away. He smiled and closed his eyes and took his final breath, peacefully.
The monitor wailed as his heart stopped. Two nurses rushed in but Andy held his hand up to them and they paused as he said “Please, leave us with him.” One of them shut off the equipment. Kim fell back into a chair as they left the room.
“Did you see the light?” she asked the others.
They went out into the hall, where Andy and Jenny helped Kim settle in a comfortable chair in a nearby waiting area. Her parents were en route from Seattle and she was going to go home with them for a little healing time. Andy and Jenny walked out to the parking lot. “What are you going to do, babe?” she asked.
Andy reached into his cruiser and grabbed his sunglasses and a few tissues. “I’m not sure. We’d talked about this kind of thing of course, but you never think it’s going to happen to you. Always someone else.” He rubbed his eyes and blew his nose.
“What can I do to help?”
“Sweetheart, I don’t even know at this point. I suddenly feel so lost.” He reached for her, hugging her tightly, his voice cracking. “I’m not even sure how to deal with this.”
“I’m here for you,” she said into his shoulder.
“Can you stay with me today? I’d like to go and see his parents in Portland. They don’t know yet and I want to tell them in person.”
They held on to each other as people and cars passed them by.
About the time they left the hospital Chris was rummaging through the dresser in Jenny’s room. The middle drawer on the left side held an assortment of brightly colored scarves and lingerie, and he poked through the pile until he found what he wanted. He withdrew some items and closed the drawer.
He answered the phone. “Hello?”
“Dave passed on.” Jenny sniffled.
“I am so sorry. Please pass that on to Andy, I know how close they were. And I sure know what that kind of loss feels like.”
“I know. Hey, I’m going to go with Andy to Portland to talk to Dave’s folks. I’m not sure when we’ll be back. He wants to know if you’ll take care of Trooper for him – there’s a spare key to his place on the rack in my kitchen.”
“Sure. Tell Andy not to worry. And if I can do anything, just call.” He suppressed a smile with effort as they hung up.
He dialed the grocery in Toutle. “Hi, could I please speak with Karin?”
Her voice came on the line after a couple of minutes. “This is Karin.”
“Hi, it’s Chris. Just wanted to let you know Jen called and said Andy’s friend passed.”
“Oh, I’m so sorry. It must be so tough on Andy – they were so close.” Her voice was quiet and soft.
“I know. Life can be a real bitch sometimes.” He paused a few moments for effect. “Jen’s not going to be here tonight and I was wondering if you’d like to have dinner with me – we could keep each other company, I’ll fix us something here on the grill when you get home.”
He felt her voice brighten before it passed through the line. “Sure, that’d be nice. I don’t get off here until nine – is that too late?”
“Nah,” he said casually.
“Okay then – see you later!”
He hung up and headed next door to find Trooper.
Karin pulled up and parked the compact. He was standing at the kitchen counter, putting finishing touches to a salad. Wiping his hands on a towel, he stepped out the door as she came toward the porch. “Finally. I’m starved.” He put his arm around her shoulders and steered her around the side of the house toward the deck. “Thought we’d eat outside. What do you think? Nice evening.”
The picnic table was set with cheerful yellow dishes and a blue cloth, a red camping lantern casting a bright light across them. “Wow,” she said, grinning. “Looks SO nice! Hey – just let me run in and change out of my work stuff, okay? Be right back!” She went to the screen door and saw Trooper sitting on the other side of it, just inside. “Hey Troop! Move a little – there – let me in.”
“Don’t let him out – we’re babysitting.”
He went inside shortly after she did to set out some wine glasses, and listened to her footfalls on the wooden floor above. Trooper trailed him. Chris reached down to pet him, fondling his ears, and whispered, “I’ve got stuff to do tonight, buddy, and you’re going to have to chill somewhere.” He took out a small bowl of trimmings he’d cut from steaks and a bowl of water. The dog followed him into the small utility room, grateful and happy when Chris placed his treats before him. He’d earlier made Trooper a comfy pile of an old pillow and blanket for a bed, and he turned out the light, closing the door.
He picked up the tray of meat along
with his grilling spices. “Bring the wine and glasses out, will you?” he called to her.
“Okay,” she called back.
After dinned he drained his glass, smacking his lips with satisfaction. “There’s nothing quite like dining under the stars, is there?”
The relaxing effects of fresh air, wine, good food, and a day’s work had taken their toll on her. She smiled, eyelids heavy. “Yup.” She reached over and patted his hand.
“I know just what would finish off this evening and tomorrow make you feel like a new woman. How about a warm bath by candlelight? Kind of like being pampered at a spa. I’ll even get it ready for you.”
She giggled, “Don’t think I’ve ever been to a spa, but it does sound fun.” She insisted on helping him carry the dishes to the kitchen, although some of her steps were unsteady. He poured her another glass of wine that she sipped while sitting on the edge of the counter, watching him as he cleaned. She watched as he went out to the deck and poured a little water over the charcoal to make sure it was extinguished. He locked the door, came back to her, and patted her leg.
“I’ll go start your bath.” He encircled her waist and lifted her from the counter. She gazed at him through bleary eyes as their bodies pressed against each other.
“You’re a cool guy.”
He locked the kitchen door as well and engaged the deadbolt.
In the bathroom, he put the stopper in the tub and turned on the faucet, waiting patiently for the temperature to adjust until it pleased him. He looked under the vanity for something he’d seen earlier, a small bottle of foamy bath oil. He removed the lid and emptied the contents under the faucet’s rapid stream. Luxurious bubbles and soft scent filled the claw-foot tub. When the basin was quite full and the air steamy he shut off the water, leaving the room to return with several candles Karin had gathered from the living room. He felt around on top of the medicine cabinet for a package of matches he’d tucked away. Lighting the candles and turning off the bathroom light, he was pleased with the cozy ambiance.
She’d lounged on the recliner and he approached from behind, putting his hands on her shoulders. “Hey, it’s ready for you.”
“Help,” she asked. He pulled her up and put his arms around her, helping her down the hall. As he showed her his creation she cried “Cool! It’s been a long time shince I’ve sheen somethin’ like thish.”
“Get into the water. I’ll be right back with a nice glass of wine for you.” She closed the door behind him.
She slipped out of her clothes and stepped toward the tub. Easing herself into the scented foam, the enticing warmth swirled around her. Slowly she settled into the water; he’d laid a towel across the back of the porcelain surface so she could lay back and relax. “Oh my god,” she sighed.
Selecting two goblets from the cabinet, he poured one full, one half. On the highest shelf of the pantry his fingers searched for and connected with a bottle of pure grain alcohol he’d discovered a few days ago when he’d been conducting an inventory. He unscrewed the top of the bottle and sniffed, holding it up to the light to check for impurities. He poured the clear liquid into the half full glass and then topped it off with a touch of wine, stirring the solution with the handle end of a wooden spoon. He placed the glasses on a tiny tray and headed for the bathroom. He knocked and said, “Better cover up with those bubbles. I’m coming in.”
“Jes a sec!”
He opened the door and saw her face framed in bubbles. “Thought I would spoil you a little more.” He set the tray on the vanity and presented her the doctored glass.
She took a sip, coughing a little. “Wow.” As she moved in the water the bubbles parted briefly. “What’s in thish?”
“Nothing, just seems strong because it’s a different bottle of wine – a bit stronger vintage. After that bath and this drink you’ll sleep like a baby and feel fantastic in the morning.” She tried another sip as she settled back into her luxury. An elegant silver-plated hairbrush rested beside the sink. He picked it up, caressed the bristles, and asked, “Would you let me brush your hair?”
She smiled.
He knocked back the rest of his wine and kneeled at the rear of the tub. He ran his fingers through her hair several times and then began stroking with the brush. “Mmmm . . . feels nice,” she murmured.
“I’m glad,” he whispered. “I want to make you happy.” He worked her hair with the brush and gently massaged her scalp.
Her arm dangled over the side of the tub, and the glass nearly slipped from her grasp. He snatched it before it could fall, handing it back to her. “Finish this. It’ll help you sleep so good.”
She drained the glass with one swallow and held it out to him. “If I get any more relaxed, you’ll haveta put me to bed in th’ tub.” The bubbles had dissipated to a very revealing point.
“Want me to help you out of there?”
“Nah, I can do it,” she said with a giggle.
He left the room but didn’t close the door behind him. She hoisted herself from the water with great effort and as she bent to unplug the tub she nearly fell back in. Catching herself and giggling, she stood dripping on the bath mat, drops of bath oil glistening on her skin. She dried with a fluffy cotton towel he’d laid out for her use. Chris waited on the other side of the door in the hall, hands tingling.
She came out wrapped in a towel, and stepped back with a wobble as she nearly ran into him. “Oh! Sorry!”
He reached to steady her, and the towel slipped from one breast. “That’s okay- I think you might want to lie down now.”
Her eyes were glassy and unfocused. “Okay.” She tried to gather her towel but only succeeded in uncovering her other breast. He guided her to Jenny’s room, where he’d set the oil lamp on the dresser and turned down the bed. He helped her sit; she fell back and he arranged her comfortably in the soft pillows and sheets. The light of the lamp cast a soft glow about the room. She smiled and closed her eyes, murmuring something, and quickly fell unconscious.
He paused and listened to her breathing, waiting for it to become shallow and regular. Slowly he removed his own clothes, easing them soundlessly to the floor. A tiny gathering of white spots danced before his eyes.
donna
He gingerly sat on the edge of the bed.
donna
She did not wake, and he reached over to stroke her cheek.
chris
donna
where are you
im here
cant see you
feel you
He reached out and touched her hair.
She stirred as he pulled away the sheets and lovingly removed the towel, careful and smooth with his movements. He reached underneath the corner of the mattress and extracted the four silk scarves he’d earlier hidden. He closed his eyes briefly to placate the fireworks.
donna
chris no
please donna
He stretched out her arms and legs, extending each toward a bedpost. He tied each of the silk scarves to her ankles and wrists and then secured the other ends to the bedposts.
chris
love you baby
no chris
please donna
no chris
give me
He climbed onto the end of the bed, between her outstretched legs. She tossed her head back and forth, weakly. As she tried to open her eyes, he leaned forward over her. He placed his fingertips on her temple, closed his eyes, and the fireworks danced in the darkness.
donna
no chris
love me
please
give me
chris no
baby
hurting me
give me my baby
His palms heated as his energy flowed. She lapsed into a deep slumber.
He rose up on his knees, his dick hard and strong, traced with a blue glow. He placed his hands on her breasts; the nipples stood at attention and as he bent to taste them a tiny shock passed between. Her body respond
ed with a jerk, but she remained unconscious as he absorbed her.
donna
no chris no
give me
hurting me
give me what I want
He placed his palms on her belly, stroking her with gentle circular motions as he visualized her womb, cervix, vagina. The fireworks intensified.
Blue Macabre Page 16
