by Auryn Hadley
She groaned. "It's hard to reach."
For a moment, he said nothing, then turned, pulling his pants back into place. "You trust me?"
"Yeah."
His mouth twitched. It wasn't a smile, but only because he was working so hard to hide it. "Enough to share that bath? Because I can reach."
Naked, with him, in hot water? Bad idea. A very bad idea. Nothing good could come of that! But that's not what she said. Leyli kept her face as smooth as his, refusing to look away. "Do you think that's wise?"
"No." He crossed the room, again, and sat beside her on the bed. "But I think you trust me and I trust you. I think that's enough to make up for everything else. I also swear to you that I will not let my partner become a pregnant gladiator."
A wry huff burst out. "And crawling in a tub with me is going to stop that?"
He sucked at his teeth, those beautiful hazel eyes holding hers. She could almost see the thoughts running through his mind. Some he rejected, others he weighed. The entire time, Leyli tried to replay all of his words. An awkwardness hung between them, begging to be talked about. She knew it was the flood gate, and once it was opened, neither of them would be able to close it.
Tristan reached over and grabbed her hand. "Pup, I think that living with a woman is a lot nicer than I thought. That makes my mind have ideas it shouldn't. The only way to do something about it, is to learn how to deal with it. We're friends. That's it. We're not going to cross that line, and you don't have a lot left that I haven't seen."
"I know, but – "
He lifted a hand, stopping her. "You're not some slut Merino sent for me to service. You're my best friend, Leyli. Let everyone else think what they want. I'm not going to say a thing, and I swear to you, I will not cross that line."
"What if I do?" She couldn't believe she'd even asked that out loud.
He looked away. "Some things take two. Let me take care of my partner." Then he looked back. "It's enough."
She had to know. "Is it?"
"So long as someone else owns our lives? Yeah."
"And when you're free?"
He shook his head. "We'll talk about it when you're free. Not before. Until then, I swear to you, I will not cross that line. I don't want to lose my best friend because I hug you in the morning or curl up with you at night. I'm trying to treat you like a sister, but I can't think of you like that. You're so much more. You're my best friend, Ley. I don't care if it's not something that's done. It's still true."
"I was taught that being friends with a man would lead him on." She laughed at herself and shrugged.
"Hey." He took a long, deep breath, ducking his head to hold her eyes. "You're not leading me on. I'm well aware that you're not ready for a lover, and I've had my fill of them. I kinda want something else from you."
"What?"
This time, he finally did smile. "I want someone who lets me feel like a person and not a bull or a gladiator. I like the uptight girl who giggles at dirty jokes and hugs me like she means it. I like the person who makes me feel like I'm still alive."
She found herself nodding, liking the way that sounded. "Yeah. But Tristan? I've never had a real friend before."
"Never?"
Her cheeks were growing warmer. She hadn't blushed in a long time, but around him, she didn't need to hide behind some stoic mask. "My brother, but that's it. I mean, when we were kids, he played with me, but that was years ago. We've always been close, but no. I never had anyone around that I could tell my secrets or who would let me just be myself."
"And now you have me." He scooted closer and pulled her to his side. "Fuck the rules, Leyli. I can braid hair, listen to you talk about the men you think are handsome, and pick weeds in the training yard, if that's what you want."
"Yeah." She let her head drop against his shoulder. "And I'll drink beer with you and learn to tell bawdy jokes."
"Bawdy?" He laughed. "Such fancy words. I'm not calling you Lady Leyli. That's just a mouthful."
She pushed at him playfully. "It's just Leyli. There's no Lady."
"Bet there was."
"Nope." Then she stuck her tongue out. "I was never a Lady. Keep guessing."
He groaned, then rubbed the top of her head, mussing her hair. "Fine. Keep your secrets. I see how it is."
"Tristan, I just don't want to talk about it." She pulled away, finally climbing out of the bed, and headed into her room for clothes, calling back over her shoulder. "That life is something I can't get back, so I'd rather just pretend that it didn't happen, ok?"
His voice came from right behind her. He'd followed her into her room. "Ok. Then you're just Leyli. I won't ask again, pup."
"You will," she said, pulling off her nightdress. "But it's ok. It's kinda cute and makes me giggle. I figure it's our game. I keep the secret, and you try to catch me making a mistake."
"And when I figure it out?" Tristan crossed his arms and leaned against the wall, smiling deviously.
"Then you can explain to my father why you were sharing my bath."
For the first time, Tristan didn't look away. He also didn't look down. His eyes stayed on her face, but he was relaxed about it. The strangest part was that she wasn't ashamed at all. It felt no different than laying on the table for the masseuse or when her maid had helped her into the bath. This was ok.
He cleared his throat pointedly. "I think if I told your dad that, he might stick a sword in me. Would be a shame to live this long, just to die to an old man's wrath."
"Then maybe you should stop asking." She tried to sound stern, but was smiling. "If you don't know, then you can't be blamed, right?"
She barely had her belt around her waist, before he moved closer to grab her arms. "Not gonna happen, pup. Are we ok?"
"Always."
"Best friends?"
She nodded. "Yeah. Everything I'm doing is improper, so I'm trying not to worry about it." Then she twined her arms around his waist and hugged him. "I trust you, Tristan. I even kinda like this. And if you're willing to giggle with me about cute gladiators, then who am I to say no?"
"I knew it. You have been looking at Nomad!" He'd just named the most horrendous man in the entire compound.
She gasped. "No!"
"Admit it. You have a thing for his rump."
She squealed in mock horror and tossed her used nightdress at him. "I am never telling you about my girlish crushes again!"
"Yeah? You have a crush on someone?"
"No." She ducked around him, scampering into his room. As she passed the threshold she yelled. "Maybe! But I'm not telling you now."
"What?"
She could hear his feet thundering on the wood floor as he tried to catch up. Leyli ducked around the corner, heading into his sitting area, but the Lion was on her tail. With a squeak, she changed direction, making for the door outside. He was faster. She barely caught the knob before he pushed it closed with one hand, his other catching her around the waist. Without even trying, he heaved her against his hip and carried her back to the bed like a sack of grain.
"Who?" he demanded.
She kicked her feet, trying to get free. "Not telling!"
So he tossed her on the bed, pouncing on her a second later. "Who!"
"No!" She twisted, but he pulled her back. "I was kidding!"
Then his fingers found her ribs. Poking, twisting, and tormenting her, he tickled her mercilessly. Leyli laughed and squealed, struggling to get his hands off her. It didn't help. Giddy tears welled in her eyes as she bucked beneath him. She could barely breathe, but he wasn't going to give in until he got a name.
"Ok!" She wailed, grabbing his wrists. His fingers paused, and she gasped out, "Ok," one more time.
"What man do I have to guard my little pup from?" he asked, leaning over her.
Oh, that question was too easy. "All of them."
He laughed. "And which man do you think is attractive enough to have caught your eye?"
She licked her lips, trying so hard to hide her
smile. "I like to watch Hawk do the thing where he pulls his body up with his arms."
"Chin-ups?"
She nodded. "Yeah. It makes his arms flex, and shows off the muscles in his stomach?"
"These?" He tensed, proving his body could rival that of a god.
Leyli smiled, then dared to reach up and run her fingertips of the ridges of his abdomen. "Yeah. I'd never seen those on a man before I got here."
"So you've never been around farmers, huh?"
"Nope."
"Mm." He dropped onto his forearms, his body above hers. "And those blacksmiths? Didn't they have muscles like this?"
She was overly aware of how close he was. "No," she breathed.
"I see." Then he smiled. "So you think Hawk is the best looking man in Villanelle?"
Leyli looked him right in the eye. "No. Not even close."
He paused. For a moment his smile flickered and his eyes drifted down to her lips. Slowly he pulled them back up and nodded.
"Good. Go grab us both a plate from the dining hall. I'll have someone bring in hot water for that bath." He rolled off her and walked out his front door without another word.
Chapter 18
That one morning was the last straw holding up the walls between them. She'd said nothing – exactly – and neither had he, but they both understood. So long as they were fighting for their life, they were friends, and nothing else mattered. He didn't care what people thought, so neither should she.
The next few days were the best she'd ever known. Tristan worked her hard, making sure she was ready for their next fight, but in between, he was a very different man. She learned to laugh and joke with him, but also to admit to her daydreams. He learned to play. Not just dice or whatever things men did to entertain them, but also things she found fun. Every night, they danced, until their bodies moved like one, but they always ended laying in the grass, looking up at the stars.
It felt like a dream, and in some ways it was. All too soon, they were shipped off to another arena. Her wins were ticking up, and the men in Merino's team were starting to show her a little respect. No longer was she just Tristan's toy. She was a gladiator in her own right, and she'd proven that she wouldn't hesitate to kill men.
Once again, the trip was long. Usually, they headed out in the morning and arrived either the night before the games started, or the morning of. For the second time, she got to experience the misery of a long trip with a cart full of men. When they stopped for lunch, it was just to unlock the door and pass in a sack of smoked meat.
For two full days, she was locked away with Tristan and six others. Thankfully, she had a place to lay out and sleep. The men in the back weren't so lucky. Leyli wondered how many of them would die due to their exhaustion.
This was her life, now. Every advantage had to be used. Kindness wasn't an option for anyone but her partner. A tired body was slower than it should be, and that split second could be the thing that did her in. Tristan had been brutally honest about it. He'd also told her about every partner he'd killed. Chained beside him, they were little more than a stake weighing him down. Even facing two men was a better option than trying to drag around a novice who'd already pissed himself. Too many times, he'd used the compassion of a veteran gladiator for the new fighter beside him as the tool to survive one more round in the games. It was the only reason she didn't share her bench with any of the men dozing in their chairs.
She'd become numb to the guilt, but it was still there. She knew Tristan felt it, too, but they couldn't let it consume them. It wasn't their fault. They hadn't chosen to live this life. They'd been forced into it, and now they were making the most of what the gods had laid on their shoulders. All they could do was decide if surviving was worth the atrocities they'd have to live with.
The team arrived at the arena in the middle of the night. They were shown into their cells with lanterns, then left to get comfortable in the dark. The bed was barely big enough for two, but it didn't matter. She crawled in, scooting as close to the wall as she could, and Tristan found his place beside her. They fit together perfectly. Every swell in her body filled a hollow in his. Tucked in close, she was as comfortable like this as she was in his giant bed. His bicep became her pillow, and the heat of his body kept her warm enough. Without a word needing to be said, Leyli fell asleep.
She awoke to a finger pressed to her lips. Her eyes opened, finding Tristan's face mere inches from hers. Then he glanced up, toward the metal bars. Just around the corner, someone was talking. It sounded like Merino.
"Why are you so interested in this girl?"
Another man answered. "My wife ran away. I want to know if it's her."
Merino chuckled. "Uh huh. And if she is? The Wolf is legally my property, and she's earning me enough that I'd be loathe to part with her."
"I didn't say I wanted her back," the man nearly snarled. "I just want to know if it's her. The cunt left because I caught her cheating. Her lover hung. Getting hacked apart is good enough for me."
"Well, it's not her."
"Are you sure?" There was a long pause, then the man spoke again. "Just five minutes. I'm willing to pay for the privilege."
Merino grumbled, but it sounded like he was giving in. "Sure. I don't know what you hope to gain."
"Peace of mind," the man assured him. "That's all. They told me she volunteered for the games, and this is the only woman listed still alive from that time."
"Fine."
Leyli's heart was pounding. She didn't recognize the man's voice, which meant it wasn't her cousin. Maybe he was some jilted husband, but she wasn't willing to take the chance. If Palino knew where she was, he'd make sure she never got out.
"He can't see me," she whispered.
Tristan's eyes narrowed. "We can't stop him." In the background, it sounded like coins were being exchanged. "Your name is Astrid. Your father is Brice. You were a farmer."
"I'm from Oberhame. There's no farms there!"
His jaw clenched, but he nodded. "So pick something you know. I'll go with it. Pup, you look nothing like the girl I first saw. Trust me."
She barely nodded, then Merino's feet rounded the corner. "Lion, Wolf," he snapped. "Up. Have someone who wants to meet you."
With a dramatic groan, Tristan rolled from the bed. A second later, Leyli followed. He was right. She couldn't hide. The cells all had barred fronts and not enough space for her body to get lost anywhere. Besides, Merino knew where she was and would just get the door opened to prove it. That meant she had to become someone else for a moment and hope that her partner wouldn't give her away.
"It's too fuckin' early for this," she grumbled, doing her best to affect an uneducated accent.
"Front and center," Merino ordered.
The pair moved to obey. Tristan walked right up to the bars, claiming the space before the man. Every line of his body said he was not amused. The scowl on his face warned the fool not to push him. Leyli took her place at his side, standing slouched with her hip out.
She took the chance to look the man over. He was well dressed, even if he was trying not to look like it. His common colored shirt had a tight weave and too much trim. His hair had recently been cut, and his face was clean shaven. She'd never seen him before in her life, but that didn't mean anything. Her eyes roamed across his body, looking for any hint of the Lanmont crest. Who else but her cousin would be looking for her?
"You selling us, or changing our game?" Tristan asked.
Merino jerked his thumb at the man. "Our friend wanted to meet your pet."
"That's what they all say," Leyli muttered, just like Nona had. "Usually right before they try to convince you to give them an hour with me."
"Not sharing," Tristan said. "I'll fuck your whores, but she's mine, and just mine."
The man chuckled. "What's your name girl?"
"The Wolf of Oberhame. I also answer to bitch."
"Your real name."
She made a point of looking over his clothes. "Astrid. You
?"
"And what did you do in Oberhame, if I can be so curious." Yep, he sounded like he belonged in court.
Leyli rolled her eyes. "I was a maid."
"For whom?"
She stepped back and crossed her arms. "Oh no. I'm not gonna tell you any more until you lemme know why you're askin'."
He smiled, but it was sly. "I'm a huge fan. Who did you work for?"
"And you are?" She smiled back the same way.
Frustrated, he rubbed at the bridge of his nose. That's when she saw the ring on his right hand. The mark inscribed in it looked a lot like a serpent – or a dragon's tail. She felt all her blood fall to her toes.
"I'm Luca," he finally told her. "Answer the question."
"Fine." Leyli huffed, like she was annoyed. Mostly it was to hide the way her throat was closing from nerves. "I laundered and helped dress Madam Petresini."
"Who?"
"Alvise Petresini's wife. The best fabric merchant in the Verde Quarter."
The man no longer sounded interested. "Mm. And how did you end up in the games?"
Leyli wrinkled her nose, as if the answer disgusted her. "My fuckin' cousin, ok? He ran up a debt at the pub. Sold me for enough to pay it off, so he wouldn't get tossed onto the sands."
"I see. Where was that merchant, again?"
"Verde Quarter. Can't miss it. Right across from the big statue of the wolf. Kinda how I got my name. We done here?"
"We're done," Merino agreed, gesturing for the man to leave.
As soon as they were out of sight, Leyli headed back to the bed and dropped onto the edge. She didn't say a word. Her ears strained for any hint of their voice or a sound that said they were still listening. There was nothing.
But Tristan stood before her, a scowl on his face. His arms were crossed over his chest, and he looked like he had a millions things to say – and none of them were kind. When the hall was silent long enough, he finally gave in.
"Something you want to tell me, Astrid?"
She rubbed one hand over her mouth. "I've never seen that man before in my life."
"Kinda got that impression. And he's never seen you. So why didn't you just tell him who you are?" His face crinkled in a silent grimace, then he turned to glare at the far wall. "Or should I know about this husband you cuckolded?"
