She spoke softly, her expression seeking. “If I rejoin, are you prepared for the fallout? Because there will be fallout…”
“Fallout? Yes. There will be.” He leaned close, gazing directly into her wide eyes of sky blue—the eyes that had captured his heart two dozen years ago. “But there could also be restoration. Are you prepared for that?”
Indianapolis
Cynthia
Cynthia stretched and rolled over on the lumpy mattress, cringing when the box springs creaked. Lindsey had warned her the bed was secondhand and would probably be uncomfortable. Lindsey was right. Cynthia rubbed her eyes and then squinted at the plastic digital alarm clock. Almost nine o’clock? How strange to sleep so late. Especially on a Sunday morning.
She sat on the edge of the bed and stared at the spot of floor between her feet. The multicolored speckles on the gray carpet danced as tears flooded her eyes. Right now Glenn and the kids were loading up for the drive to church. Barrett was probably pestering Darcy, and Darcy was probably complaining to Glenn. And Glenn was probably being diplomatic and patient, the way he always was with the kids. Or was his anger at her spilling over on them? She rubbed her eyes again and sniffed hard.
Only four days away and she was so homesick her chest ached. She could hardly eat. Sleep? She couldn’t call the short dozes between long hours of tense wakefulness anything resembling sleep. She collapsed on her back with her feet still dangling over the edge of the bed and stared at the popcorn ceiling. What was she doing here?
The apartment was completely quiet. Finally. Lindsey’s music had blared until well past two that morning, covering the sounds of whatever she and her three guests had been doing in the combined living and dining room. Based on the random bursts of laughter and slurred voices raised in off-key singing, Cynthia speculated lots of liquor had been included. So different from the Saturday evenings at home with Glenn, playing board games with the kids or watching a DVD and eating milk-drenched popcorn with a spoon.
She missed them. All of them. And the kids missed her. They’d both said so yesterday when she took them home after their day at the mall—Barrett pleadingly and Darcy with more than a hint of anger. They wanted her to come home again. But even though she stood in the little foyer of their house for nearly fifteen minutes talking with the kids about their homework, Glenn had stayed somewhere else in the house. He hadn’t said a word to her about coming back.
She pulled up her legs and coiled into a ball on top of the rumpled bedspread. When she’d found her baby girl, she would swallow her pride and ask Glenn if she could come home. But if she asked now, he might expect her to give up the search. She couldn’t do it. Not when they were so close.
Owen Mallory’s call on Friday had sounded so promising. His final statement reverberated in her memory: “I’ll be shocked if the girl named Anna-Grace Braun isn’t really your daughter, hauled to Kansas by Suzanne Zimmerman and given to her relatives to raise.” He’d traveled from Arborville to another little Mennonite town called Sommerfeld and talked to Anna-Grace’s adoptive parents. Even though they hadn’t told him much, their very secretiveness served to deepen his suppositions. By tomorrow he should be back from Kansas with a spoon he’d pilfered because Anna-Grace had used it. With it he intended to compare her DNA to Cynthia’s.
Her entire body trembled, nervousness and anticipation warring for victory. She spoke to the empty room. “Anna-Grace…” An old-fashioned name. Nothing like Darcy or Barrett. Or even Cynthia. She’d never allowed herself to attach a name to her baby, and it felt good to have something to call her. It made her more real.
As soon as the DNA results came back, as soon as she knew for sure Anna-Grace really was the baby girl she’d left behind the garage, as soon as she’d made contact with Anna-Grace and secured her daughter’s forgiveness, then she would go home. It shouldn’t be much longer now. Not much longer at all.
Franklin, Indiana
Alexa
After church Tom and Linda took Alexa to their favorite pizza restaurant for the Sunday buffet. The restaurant was crowded, families with kids in tow swarming the salad and pizza bars. Alexa would have preferred going to the house and baking her own pizza, but she kept her opinion to herself. Tom loved busy places where lots of people gathered. He claimed he stored up energy from being around noisy, rambunctious crowds. Alexa used to be the same way. But lately, bustling places seemed to drain the life from her. By the time she slid into their booth, she was ready for a nap.
Linda took one look at her and started to laugh.
Alexa glanced over her shoulder, half expecting a clown to lurk there. “What?”
“Your face, that’s what! You look like you’d rather be anywhere than here—even in a dentist chair.”
Alexa sighed. “At least I’d be the only one in the chair.” She scanned the noisy room. “Half the population of Franklin is here, don’tcha think?”
Tom chuckled. “Probably more like a third. This, the Chinese buffet, and the fried chicken place always do a booming business on Sundays.” He grinned, lifting his head and pulling in a deep breath. “Ahhh, the sound of family. I can’t get enough of it.”
Alexa hung her head. So that’s why he liked crowds. At home it was only him and Linda. How much they’d missed by not raising a big, boisterous brood of their own. She gave Tom a sympathetic look. “I’m sorry I complained.”
He reached across the table and took her hand, his smile intact. “No worries, honey-girl. Your mind’s a little cluttered right now, so all this disorder is bound to seem overwhelming to you. Let’s pray, huh? Then we’ll eat and skedaddle on out of here.”
While Tom asked a blessing for their meal, Alexa vowed to eat slowly so Tom could enjoy the ruckus as long as he wanted to.
“Amen.” He picked up a piece of greasy pepperoni. “Mm-mm, I can feel my arteries clogging already, but it’s gonna be worth it.” He took a mighty chomp.
Linda rolled her eyes, shaking her head. “You’re worse than a kid.”
He waggled his eyebrows at her.
While witnessing their antics, Alexa’s sour mood faded. She picked up a slice of mushroom and ham thin-crust pizza and tried to take as large a bite as Tom had. She ended up with tomato sauce all over her cheeks, which made Tom and Linda both laugh, and the remainder of her doldrums disappeared. She swiped her face clean with a napkin and asked the question that had rolled in the back of her mind and stolen her focus during the morning sermon. “Do you think the private investigator will call me on a Sunday? I left my cell phone on the dresser in my room.”
“If he does,” Linda said staunchly, “he’ll leave a message, and you can call him back tomorrow. One more day of waiting isn’t going to kill you.”
Alexa huffed, but she smiled afterward so Linda would know she was teasing. “I never thought I’d die from waiting. But I’m surprised he didn’t call right away when he got my message. After all, if he’s hunting for the baby that was left behind the home, I’d think he’d be glad to get a call from the very person he’s trying to find.”
“Could be he hasn’t got the message yet.” Tom pointed his half-eaten pizza slice at her. “Or maybe he’s working more than one case. Has to focus on something else for a little while first.”
If he’d traveled all the way to Arborville, it seemed to Alexa he was pursuing her with his whole attention. But what did she know about private investigating? Maybe he was juggling several cases at once. “If he hasn’t called me back by tomorrow, I’ll call and leave another message.”
“You do that.” Linda chopped her pizza into chunks with her fork. “And we’ll keep checking Facebook and the mailbox, too. Even if he doesn’t respond, something’ll eventually turn up. All the praying we’ve done won’t be for naught.”
“Not to change the subject, but…” Tom pointed to a table where a man, woman, and four kids ranging in age from maybe four to sixteen chowed down on pizza and breadsticks. “Look at that bunch. Betcha that’s a newly formed st
epfamily. Or maybe two single parents having lunch together.”
Linda gazed at the table for a few minutes, then turned to Tom. “Why do you think that?”
“See how the two younger kids look like each other and the two older ones look alike? The little ones are gravitating to Mom, and the older two are kinda keeping their distance from her—like they aren’t too sure they really like her yet. And the man, he’s ignoring the younger ones’ lack of manners, but I saw him correct the boy sitting next to him. Makes me think that one belongs to him but the little ones don’t.” He nodded, his expression smug. “Yep. Blended family.”
Alexa sipped her soda while furtively watching the family.
Tom went on thoughtfully. “It’s gotta be a little awkward at first, taking care of somebody else’s kids or letting some new mom or dad come into your life. People do it every day, what with the divorce rate being as high as it is. But I can’t imagine it’s easy to bring two families together and make ’em into one. It’s hard enough just for a man and woman to handle it when they marry up. Then throw a handful of kids into the mix? That’d be a real challenge.”
He jerked his attention to Alexa, his eyebrows rising. “I just thought of something. Our Suzanne never married, so she didn’t have any other kids after you. But maybe your birth mom did things different. Maybe she’s got a husband and children. If that’s the case, when you meet her, you might get to meet some brothers or sisters, too.”
The soda soured in Alexa’s stomach. She set the cup aside.
Tom kept grinning, wonder lighting his dark eyes. “That’d sure be something.”
It would be something, all right. Hadn’t she always wanted younger siblings? She’d begged Mom to have another baby until she understood where babies came from. Then she’d quit asking. But she kept praying for a brother or sister until she hit her high school years. By then she figured Mom was too old to want another child and gave up. But she never stopped wishing for a whole family.
Linda snorted. “You’re just now thinkin’ of that? I considered it from the time Alexa said she wanted to start hunting her mama. I think it’s a lot more likely Alexa does have half-siblings than doesn’t.” She turned a smile on Alexa. “So whaddaya think of the idea, Alexa? Think you’d like being a big sister?”
Alexa swallowed a lump of agony. “I’d…I’d love it, I think.”
Tom beamed. “ ’Course you would! You’d be a good big sister, too. A good role model, good listener, good advisor, good—”
“Gracious sakes, Tom, look at the girl’s face. You’re scaring her to death, telling her all the things she’ll have to be all at once.” Linda patted Alexa’s hand. “Don’t you worry one bit, girlie. If we find out your mama had other kids, you won’t have to dive into a relationship with them any more than you’ll have to dive into one with your mama. You can ease in, okay?”
Alexa managed a shaky nod.
Linda sat back and gestured toward Alexa’s plate. “Now go ahead and finish eating. The noise in here is about to give me a headache. I’m ready for some peace and quiet.”
“Not ’til I’ve had my fill of dessert pizza,” Tom announced. “Lemme out, Linda. They just brought out a fresh cherry one, and I want some before it all gets snatched up.”
Linda wriggled out of the booth and stood aside while Tom departed. Then she slid back in. She shot a frown at Alexa’s plate. “Why aren’t you eating?”
Alexa grimaced. “I kind of lost my appetite, I guess.”
“ ’Cause of what Tom said about you having brothers or sisters?”
“Uh-huh.”
Sympathy creased Linda’s round face. “Oh, honey, you don’t need to worry about that.”
Yes, she did.
Linda leaned over her plate, bringing her face closer to Alexa’s. “Lemme tell you something. You already know I come from a big family.”
Alexa nodded. “Fourteen brothers and sisters in all.” She’d often tried to imagine that many children around a dinner table, but the image wouldn’t gel.
“That’s right. But there’s something you don’t know. Only six of us were born to my mama and daddy.” Linda nodded when Alexa gasped. “That’s right. The other eight were my cousins—children from two of my daddy’s brothers. Their mamas just dropped them off with us, and my parents raised ’em.” Her face took on a dreamy expression, as if she’d drifted into her past. “Sometimes my daddy did special things for me and my sister and brothers—gave us presents, took us places—that he didn’t do for the nieces and nephews. Even though he gave them a place to stay and a decent upbringing, sometimes I thought he felt burdened by all those extra children.”
She gave a little jolt, as if coming awake. “But you know what? My mama never played favorites among us. Not ever. She loved each one of us—her born children and her took-in children—just as much as the next.”
A tender expression crept through Linda’s eyes. “You see, God did something extra special when He crafted a mother’s heart. He made it expandable, so no matter how many children came along, she’d have enough love to cover all of them. If your birth mama does have other children, she’ll still have love left over for you. She’s probably saved a little part of her heart just for you, for the day when she’d meet up with you again.” She nodded, giving Alexa a big smile. “It’ll all work out. You just wait and see.”
Alexa thanked Linda and took a nibble of her pizza to assure her she’d set her worries aside. But she couldn’t bring herself to share the real source of worry. If her birth mother had other children, Alexa would want to know them. She’d want to be their big sister and claim them as her siblings.
But how could she have them unless she allowed her birth mother into her life?
Arborville
Suzanne
Suzanne loved Sandra. Becoming reacquainted with her good-natured sister was one of the best things about returning to Arborville. But on this Sunday afternoon, she had to repeatedly remind herself how much she loved her youngest sister to keep from growling at her. What was Sandra thinking, inviting Paul and Danny to Sunday dinner and then putting Suzanne right beside Paul at the table? Actually, Suzanne knew what Sandra was thinking—and she’d need to set her sister straight as soon as everybody cleared out. Not that it seemed it would be anytime soon.
The children’s happy voices carried from the living room, where they built towers with Ian’s massive set of homemade wooden blocks. Since they were having such a good time, the adults lingered over dessert and coffee. Multiple conversations took place—Shelley and Harper with Mother, Derek with Tanya, Steven holding Clete’s attention, and Paul commending Sandra on the wonderful meal. The meal itself, a beef-and-noodle casserole layered with basil and cottage cheese, had probably been fairly easy to prepare. But Suzanne couldn’t imagine how Sandra had found time to bake dozens of little pecan pie tarts and bite-sized apple turnovers when she had an active three-year-old and a learning-to-crawl baby underfoot. Given her sister’s accomplishments, Suzanne needed to quit complaining about baking pies five mornings a week. At least she had a helper rather than two little hindrances.
Suzanne gazed toward the opposite end of the table at her helper. Anna-Grace sat smiling up into Steven’s face as he explained his desire to update the math curriculum at the Arborville school. A lump filled Suzanne’s throat. Anna-Grace’s pride in her soon-to-be husband beamed in her expression. Each time Steven glanced at her, tenderness glowed in his eyes. They’d weathered a major storm and emerged on the other side even more in love with each other. She couldn’t ask for anything better for her child than to love and be loved by a solid, hardworking, Christian man. She prayed Alexa would find similar happiness someday.
“You’re staring.”
The whispered voice in her ear made her jump. She jerked her head and found Paul leaning close, a secretive grin on his face. She licked her lips. “W-what?”
“At Anna-Grace.” He flicked a look across the table, then returned his brown-
sugar gaze to her. “It’s hard not to, I know. I struggle with it myself. She’s a beautiful girl. You can just see happiness on her.” His eyes took on a sheen of moisture, but he blinked and it disappeared.
Suzanne blinked rapidly, too. “I’m glad she’s happy. I was just thinking that I couldn’t ask for anything better for her than to marry a good Christian man like Steven. But I can’t help wishing…”
“That you could be part of her life, too?”
She nodded.
“At least you can be Cousin Suzy to her. I’m just Mr. Aldrich, the man who renovated her house.” Pain laced his quiet voice.
“Oh, Paul…” Once again she berated herself for her attitude. When had she become so self-centered? First complaints about baking the pies and now about having to deny her true relationship with Anna-Grace. Paul was right. She at least had time with their daughter on a daily basis. Even though it hurt to be near her and unable to claim her, she and Anna-Grace had become friends. She touched his arm. “I’m sorry. I wish—”
He shook his head. “No more wishing, okay? It only leads to dissatisfaction.”
He was right about that, too. All the wishing in the world couldn’t change their situation. She needed to focus on the positives of now rather than wallowing in what could have been.
He added, “We’ve been blessed in spite of it all.” The clatter of blocks followed by Danny’s exultant “Woo-hoo!” and a burst of children’s laughter exploded from the front room. Paul whisked a grin in the children’s direction and then aimed it at Suzanne. “Probably more than we deserve.”
When Love Returns Page 22
