"But she's my friend!"
Jessica said nothing, and Nikol felt as if she could actually see her weak argument disintegrating in front of her.
"All right, all right, it doesn't matter if she's my friend or not, I know. I just ... I just didn't like to see her that way. And I don't like it that you asked me to be here just to soften her up. I didn't do anything in this meeting."
Jessica's face softened, and the expression she had worn at the start of the meeting with Danai returned. "I know. I didn't like to do it. For a Liao, Danai has many good qualities." Jessica paused. "She might even have a lot of good qualities for a normal human. But this needed doing, and I'm fairly certain you understand that. For what it's worth, I wanted you here for reasons besides your being Danai's friend. I won't deny that was a consideration, but it's important that you saw what happened and saw Danai's response, since it will shape our future meetings."
Nikol wasn't completely satisfied, but then she thought of all the times she'd called in favors to resolve some diplomatic dispute or another—she found solutions presented themselves much more easily when you could get friends talking to friends, instead of strangers to strangers. As she had used the same tactic herself that her mother had just used with Danai, she couldn't really resent her for it.
Nikol chewed on her bottom lip for a moment. "I'm a little worried about Danai. Something was wrong with her. She flew off the handle pretty quickly."
"I accused her of breaking a treaty—well, an agreement anyway. That can be enough to make people mad."
"No, there was something else. I can't exactly explain it, but she seemed ... I don't know, off her game."
Jessica rubbed her right temple with her index finger. "If something is bothering her," she said, speaking slowly, "it would probably be wise for us to find out what it is."
"Mother!"
"Perhaps we could help her with it." Jessica said innocently.
"That's not what you were thinking! You want to exploit it, not solve it!"
"That may be."
"That's even worse than what you did in this meeting! Manipulating whatever's bothering her for your own good? That's low!"
"Nikol, I think you're forgetting who you are. And, perhaps more importantly, who I am. Do you know what I am trying to do here? The scope of the reunification I am attempting?" Jessica's words came faster and louder as she continued. "Do you think all I have to worry about is one person's feelings? I have a responsibility to my people, to my nation. I respect Danai. I even like her. But I have very little responsibility toward her."
"So ruling a nation means you no longer have to be a human being?" Nikol fired back, then instantly regretted it.
Her mother, though, seemed not to take offense. "No, Nikol. It simply means you need to become a different kind of human being. Hopefully, if you pay attention as I bring you into the world of ruling, you'll understand that more."
Nikol nodded, even though she wasn't sure she agreed.
"In fact, while you're here, you should learn one more lesson." She turned to her clerk. "Send for Major Ivan
Casson, please."
The clerk didn't have to stand. He pressed a few buttons, said a few words and soon enough Major Casson arrived. He stood tall, but his head drooped a little and his face had a gray, pallid cast.
"Major Casson," Jessica said. "I understand I have you to thank for the scan of the Capellan DropShips."
"Yes, ma'am," Casson said in a flat voice.
"I'm glad to have you at the spaceport. I need someone qualified to keep an eye on the Capellans while they are here. If they so much as sneeze, I want you to clamp down on them. hard. And, of course, I want you to tell me about it."
"Yes, ma'am."
"I know this doesn't sound like the most glamorous assignment in the world, Major, but it's important to me. Crucial, even. If you succeed at this—if you can keep my mind at ease about this, prevent me from worrying about the Capellan 'Mechs that have landed on my tarmac—then any past difficulties will be forgotten. Your role in the events on Wyatt will be wiped from my memory. Do you understand?"
Casson raised his chin a little, and some color returned to his face. "Yes ma'am," he said, with what sounded like more conviction.
"Fine. You are dismissed."
Casson turned smartly and walked out of the office.
"Let me guess," Nikol said. "The lesson there was that every failure plants the seeds for future success."
Jessica smiled. "Perhaps not every failure," she said. "But an awful lot of them."
Nikol tried to return the smile, but the expression felt wan on her face. "So what happens now?" she asked. "We wait for Danai to calm down?"
"I do, yes," Jessica said. "I'd like you to talk to Danai."
"You want me to find out what's bothering her? Mother, can't you find out what's bothering her some other way?"
"Yes, I can," Jessica said. "I'm not asking you to betray any confidence between the two of you. All I need from you is to go to her. Be her friend. Help her get mentally ready for our next meeting. We will need her. If our plans are to work, we will need House Liao."
"That doesn't sound right. Mariks and Liaos needing each other?"
"No, I don't particularly like the sound of it either. But the opportunity has presented itself, and I'd be foolish not to take advantage of it. I fully expect our period of cooperation with the Liaos to be full of mistrust and double-dealing. But it should be profitable—for a time."
"Of course that still leaves us to deal with the Marik- Stewart Commonwealth—which could be the bigger threat."
Jessica looked steadily at Nikol, silent for a few moments.
"The Commonwealth should have other things on its mind," she finally said.
"Other things? Like what?" Nikol asked. But her mother just shook her head, and Nikol sighed. Naturally, she wasn't going to find out about all of her mother's confidential dealings at once.
"All right, back to the Capelians. then," Nikol said. "Just what is it you're hoping Daoshen will offer you?"
"The one thing a vast power can always offer. Pressure."
"I thought that might be the case. But on whom?"
"Ah, how to choose from all the stars in the sky?" Jessica said, laughing. Then she grew more serious. "For the time being, the Duchy of Andurien. A little pressure on them could not only keep them in check, but could also persuade them to help us discourage any adventurism by the Regulan Fiefs along our border. Once those two borders are secure, we can advance with our plans relating to the Marik-Stewart Commonwealth."
Nikol nodded slowly. "It would work," she said. "For a time. But isn't that a difficult line to walk? The Andu- riens won't like being pressured, and neither will the Regulans. They may be held down in the short term, but that could just make them come back harder in the future."
"Then that's what they'll do," Jessica said. "But without this attempt, without this pressure, our move into Marik-Stewart territory can never happen. It's a risk— but when was anything worthwhile ever achieved without risk?"
21
Amur, Oriente
Oriente Protectorate
31 March 3136
The daughter of the Capellan chancellor strolled through the lush gardens in the late afternoon sun. The shadows of tall sunflowers stretched across the red- brown gravel path, which crunched with each step she took.
The daughter of the Capellan chancellor looked for a comfortable place to sit, passing a few stone benches that looked pretty but had no backs. Then she came to a metal bench, tarnished green-black, with many strands of twisted metal rising and intertwining to form a back. It wouldn't be as comfortable as anything in her quarters, but it would be better than the stone benches. And better than standing. So the daughter of the Capellan chancellor sat.
Danai had been at it for a week now, trying to force herself to accept her new identity. She applied the label to herself constantly, but it hadn't sunk in yet. It was like a bad organ tran
splant—every time she tried to internalize who she really was. the core of her being rejected it.
It had been a long week, and not just because she was trying to reshape her identity. She had met with Jessica four more times, and while the meetings had been more civil than the first, they had not been productive. Jessica clearly wanted Danai to offer some concessions, but she wasn't specific about what she wanted—it seemed she wanted Danai to suggest a long list of possible concessions, and then Jessica would tell her which ones she liked. That, of course, wasn't going to happen. In fact, Danai was entirely unmotivated to offer any concessions, as Jessica had yet to demonstrate any sort of leverage.
She suspected that was why the diplomatic wheels were spinning in place—Jessica was looking for some sort of stick with which she could beat Danai. Bell had confirmed as much. He didn't have a lot of concrete information yet, but he had been able to tell her that Jessica had her own intelligence operatives sniffing around—Bell kept running into them. Once they found something, Danai was sure the tenor of her meetings with Jessica would change, and the captain-general would become more demanding. So Danai had added counterintelligence to Bell's tasks, and she spread the word throughout the company to beware of Oriente agents poking around for information. She knew at least one or two items she wouldn't want Jessica to know about before Danai was ready to tell her.
For the moment, at least, that could remain Bell's concern. Not hers. She was going to sit in the garden and not think of Daoshen, or politics, or any of the many other things bothering her. She would just sit back and think of something peaceful—like Yen-lo-wang chopping the garden to bits with its ax.
She closed her eyes, letting the sun warm her face, listening to the trickle of a distant fountain. Then she heard the welcome sound of approaching footsteps, welcome because she knew who was approaching.
She didn't open her eyes as the person drew near. Partly because she was tired, but partly because she wanted to demonstrate trust, to show she did not need to watch her visitor come closer.
"At least I know now why you broke off the morning meeting," Nikol said when she was only a meter from Danai. "You just wanted to play outside."
"I could sit here just like this for the entire afternoon," Danai said, keeping her eyes closed, "and be exactly as productive as I was in that meeting. More, really—at least I would be enjoying myself a little."
She heard Nikol walk around and sit next to her on the bench. "Progress isn't exactly swift, is it?"
"Progress isn't even progress," Danai said. "I can't think of anything that's measurably different than the first day I arrived. But how would your mother feel about us talking diplomacy outside official channels?"
"I don't care how she'd feel," Nikol said stubbornly. "I know how I feel—sick of it all. Let's talk about something else."
"Amen." Danai said.
So Danai talked about her trip to Aldebaran, about the handsome but unctuous Major Anderton and about the satisfaction of chopping a 'Mech in two at the waist. And Nikol talked about the rainy winter, the confines of the Amur Palace and her mother's ever-increasing determination to live up to the Marik name even though, due to her descent from the false Thomas Marik, she didn't really have the blood.
Danai opened her mouth, on the verge of saying, "Well, it looks like we both have ambitious parents," but she stopped herself—barely. She was more open with Nikol than with anybody else, but she wasn't ready to share this information yet. She didn't know when, if ever, she'd tell anyone about the secret of her parentage. That piece of information was a bombshell, and if Daoshen had taught her anything, it was not to detonate bombs lightly.
So she said nothing, and was left awkwardly opening and closing her mouth like a fish while Nikol raised her eyebrows in concern.
"Can I ask you something?" Nikol asked.
Danai smiled, though it felt a little thin on her lips. "Meaning, 'Can I ask you something you may not want to answer?' Sure, why not."
"Is there something . . . bothering you? Something wrong?"
Danai almost laughed. She felt a barking chuckle rising through her lungs, but she knew if she let it out there might be no stopping it, that it might continue on and on into hysteria. And then Nikol would really have something to be concerned about.
She managed to keep a decent facade of control. "How do you mean?"
"I can't really say," Nikol said. "I noticed it the first day you got here. Something just seems not right. Something about the way you're carrying yourself. I can't put my finger on it, though. There's just something wrong."
Danai looked at a nearby rosebush, red swirling through the primarily white petals. She stared at the colors until the red seemed to move, to flow like blood through the flowers.
"Danai?"
She didn't answer. Words were starting to come together, she was starting to find a coherent way to tell Nikol what she'd only told Erde and then she'd only managed to say it in a torrent of shouted words caught on holovid.
"Danai?"
"We talked," Danai said, pushing out words that caught in her throat as if they had burrs on their edges. "On Terra, we talked. I mentioned someone. A man. I said he was interesting, but that it was impossible. Between us. Too many barriers."
"I remember," Nikol said.
"I never told you his name."
"I know."
"I met him. Again. Pure chance. On New Hessen. We were fighting. Fighting each other. Then we were both out of our 'Mechs. Alone on the ground. So I helped him."
Nikol clearly wanted to ask who this person was. Danai could see it in her face. But she didn't ask. She rested a reassuring hand on Danai's knee and sat silently, waiting for Danai to speak when she was ready.
"I shouldn't have helped him. Shouldn't have talked to him. But we were alone on the battlefield. And I thought ... I thought he would be useful.
"He was Caleb Davion."
Nikol did not move. Her hand stayed on Danai's knee, her mouth still a small, sympathetic frown, her shoulders relaxed. But her eyes practically spun. All the shock, all the surprise Danai didn't see in the rest of Nikol's bearing came out in her eyes.
"We were together. On the ground. I was looking for Yen-lo-wang. I had to get it back. We wandered for two weeks, and I found it. It was in my sight. But then the helicopters came, and the missiles, and everything around us exploded. And I ran forward. If I got to my machine—if I could just get there—I would be safe.
"But Caleb blocked me. Carried me away. To a warehouse. Put me inside, didn't want to let me out. But I had a rifle. So I pointed it at him. Told him to let me go. Let me get my 'Mech. He wouldn't. I dug the point into his stomach. He told me to shoot. And I . . . and I . . ."
She couldn't see. The world around her had become a moist blur, she couldn't make out anything distinct, but she could see tall, narrow, straight objects to her right, so she stood, she turned, she grabbed and she pulled.
Rose thorns ripped her palms until she got a firm grip, then she tore one entire bush out of the earth and threw it. It flew awkwardly and rustled to the ground.
"Goddammitl" Danai yelled. "I didn't shoot him! He is a Davion! He should be dead! Dammit dammit dammitl"
She stood over the uprooted rosebush, shaking, trying to breathe but not to sob. Then she felt hands on her shoulders, lightly guiding her back to the bench. She let Nikol sit her back down, then she buried her face in her hands and fought for her composure. Blood from her palms stained her face. Nikol wrapped an arm around her and waited patiently.
It took a long time.
Then she took a few long, slow, shuddering breaths and felt able to speak. But she didn't raise her head.
"I hesitated. I loosened my grip. On the trigger. He moved, quickly. Hit the gun. Knocked it away. Then he pushed me back. He had a knife. Put it at my throat. Pushed me to the floor. Raped me."
She felt Nikol's fingers stiffen, digging into her shoulder, when she said the word "raped." Then Nikol practically coll
apsed on top of her.
"Oh my god. Oh my god, Danai. Oh my god."
They sat in the warm sun for a while and didn't say anything. Clouds drifted in and out of view, the sun moved lower and lower, and the roses on the bush at their feet soaked in the last minutes of sunlight as long as they could before they began to wilt.
22
Amur, Oriente
Oriente Protectorate
10 April 3136
Danai awoke to the all-too-familiar feeling that something was wrong. She sniffed the air, wondering if a whiff of smoke or ozone had made her alert, but the air smelled fresh and clean.
She stepped carefully out of bed, looking one way and then the other, waiting for someone (or, knowing her luck, a puma that had wandered in from the jungle) to pounce on her.
No one was there.
Everything looked perfectly normal, and continued to look normal as she got dressed and prepared for another day of stalled diplomacy. There was no indication that anything at all was amiss. But she had learned to trust her instincts over the years, and she remained convinced that something, somewhere, was not right.
She had to wait another twelve minutes before she found out what it was.
She sat at the table in her room, enjoying the waffles brought to her by the palace staff, when Sandra charged into the room, with Clara close on her heels.
"Bell's gone," Sandra said.
Danai picked up the linen napkin on her lap and carefully wiped the corners of her mouth. "That's a shame," she said.
"No, Sao-shao, this is serious! No one has seen him since last night! He's not in his quarters! He's gone'.''
"Couldn't we all use a break from him?"
"He's not in the DropPort. Anywhere. That means he's in restricted territory, and I can't imagine he received special permission to wander around. He's in danger of being arrested, unless he's already under arrest! Do you know how that will affect the negotiations if one of your command crew is arrested here? Do you know how much leverage you'll lose?"
Principles of Desolation Page 20
