by Katy Connor
“Mmm mmm,” she said just low enough for the two of us to hear.
“You like him, don’t you?”
“I’ve decided to get out of my own way and try some happy on, see if it comes in my size.”
“That sounds good to me.”
He stopped the car in my driveway, turned off the engine, and unfolded out of the driver’s seat. He had two large coffees in hand from our favorite coffee house.
“Morning, ladies,” he said, shades still on. “Special delivery.”
I swear, Gabby’s mouth fell open. “How did you? And from—”
“Woman, I clocked you in line at the coffee shop my first day of work. When I asked who you were, that barista kept me there for fifteen minutes, telling me your coffee order, how much everyone at the hospital likes you, what church you go to… I’m surprised they didn’t give me your address and digits right then and there.”
She rolled her eyes, but she wasn’t able to keep the smile off her face. “You are not as charming as you think you are,” she said.
He leaned over, giving her a kiss on her cheek. “Now don’t start lying,” he teased. Then he gave a chin-lift my way. “I’ll let you finish up and wait in the car for your girl.”
“Appreciated.”
He got back inside his Mustang.
“I love him for you,” I told her.
She offered a patient smile. “You deserve to be happy too, you know. Don’t let what happened with your folks color the way you see things.”
I furrowed my brows. “What are you talking about?”
She gave a “give me a break” look. “C’mon, Jen.”
“What do they have to do with anything? I barely knew them,” I said, shoving my hands in my pockets.
“They were addicts, honey,” she said. “And they were lousy human beings. Believe all the people who know you and love you, not two junkies with mean streaks.”
In spite of myself, tears stung my eyes. I wiped them away and stared at the ground.
“Please, honey,” she said, her hand reaching for my sleeve. “Allow yourself to be happy. You’ve been given a second chance. Don’t sabotage it.”
My gaze found hers.
“Talk to him,” she said. “And call me later.”
I smiled, standing in my driveway as they drove away, pondering what she said to me. My nana took me in when I was ten years old, which was old enough for me to remember the horror show that was my life beforehand: never getting enough to eat, being beaten for breathing, having to deliver drugs in our apartment complex.
Going to live with my nana was like being welcomed into heaven.
I missed her every day. She was the only one, besides Gabs, I allowed close to me.
And the idea of letting Alex in, trusting him with my heart…I didn’t know if I could do it. Even if this Bridgett thing wasn’t true, did I really want to spend a lifetime having to constantly deal with women hitting on him? I couldn’t imagine any woman wanting to live like that, especially me.
Chapter Twelve
ALEX
I sliced the air with the edge of my hand, just to prove how serious I was this time.
“That’s it. I’m done with Jenny Price.”
I said it like I meant it. And I did. So I don’t know why my colleague and new friend, Will, started laughing. And by the way, he laughed like a donkey.
“What the hell?”
He smiled, shaking his head. “I’m sorry, man. I know I’ve only known you for a little while, but even I realize that statement is complete and utter bullshit.”
Will was an ER physician who had been put in charge of showing me around, and we had become fast friends. Now we were having dinner at The Cock and Bull, the best steakhouse in all of Colorado, just outside the town of Hardrock. I hadn’t been here long, but this was already my favorite restaurant. Will could always be counted on to be good company.
Well, that was until five seconds ago.
“No, I need to let this go,” I told him, swirling my whiskey around. It was a twenty-one-year-old Glenfiddich, the perfect end to an exceptional meal.
“You’ve been hung up on Price for a lot of years. I don’t see you letting this go so easily.” He shrugged. “No shame in that. You know what you want.”
“The irony is, you probably know more about her than I do,” I said, letting out a frustrated exhale. “You’ve worked with her for, what, three years?”
“Yeah, but I’m in the ER. I can count on one hand how many times I’ve talked to her,” he said. “One thing for sure, I think every guy at the hospital has tried getting in there. No one, and I mean not a one, has been given a shot.”
Well, there’s that.
I’d like to believe it was because she pledged herself body and soul to me. I know she said she hadn’t been with anyone in all these years. Honestly, I didn’t know what to believe anymore. How could I, when I couldn’t even get her to stay in a room with me longer than five minutes after I’d been inside her?
Just the memory made my cock stir. I could almost taste her on my tongue, too.
“She’s been all about her work and research. She’s beyond dedicated to her patients,” he said, taking a sip of his drink. “And I know she’s risen through the ranks, and it is because of her research. It has been genuinely groundbreaking, helping put us on the map and up the ranks as a teaching hospital. And she’s done all that without having to play politics as much as others have had to.”
I listened, taking in what he said.
“She’s a sexy woman, but definitely keeps men at arm’s length. That is, until you showed. Lucky bastard.”
“She says she doesn’t want to see me ever again. How does that make me lucky?” I asked, signaling to the server that I needed the check.
Will scratched the side of his jaw. “Listen, I’m no relationship expert. But I get the sense that, for all her professional accomplishments, Price is behind on the personal stuff. It’s like she got stuck in late adolescence and never snapped herself out of it.” He shrugged. “I guess you need to determine if you’re going to be the one to help her get out of her own way.”
It was good advice, something that demanded I dig deep, not just to determine how much I loved her, but also what kind of man I was—and wanted to be from then on.
Driving home, I made a decision about Jenny, one I knew I was going to stick with, no matter what. Maybe that’s why I didn’t even see it coming, a semi going way over the speed limit.
It was going the wrong way on the highway and headed straight for me.
Chapter Thirteen
JENNY
I was at the hospital late, reviewing cases and double-checking the diagnoses written up by some new hires. It was something I usually did until I trusted the recent additions to my team. At least, that’s what I was telling myself.
The truth was, I was hiding.
Work was one of the last socially acceptable ways to avoid conflict. It was my favorite, go-to coping mechanism.
Growing up, I could always count on school to take me away from almost anything unpleasant or out of my depth. School dance coming up? Sorry, can’t go…I have to study for midterms. A group of girls wanted me to go shopping with them or vape behind the bleachers? I would, but I’m organizing a volunteer outreach effort. It’ll look good on my college applications.
As an undergrad, I didn’t rush a sorority. I think I went to one kegger my entire four years.
I studied. In fact, I studied all the time.
My undergrad years was all about getting into med school. And once I got into Harvard, it was about staying there. And my nana encouraged all of my single-minded behavior because, well, firstly I needed the scholarship money, but really, she just wanted to ensure I didn’t end up like my parents.
Two alcoholic pill-poppers, both brilliant and charismatic and lost in all the ways you think people can be. My nana had been determined to do better with me, to amend all the mistakes she made with her so
n. And she wanted to undo the damage they had done, even in the short time they had me.
I can’t even begin to count how many hours I had spent at this hospital, how many times I covered for colleagues over holidays and weekends, filled in when they were sick. Because, the truth was, I didn’t have a life outside of work, and that was how I liked it.
Or maybe that’s just what I was used to. I had to admit, I kept thinking about what Gabrielle said earlier, that maybe it was time to work a little less, live a little more.
I swam to keep in shape, but what would it be like to hike for the day and jump into a lake afterward to cool off? I spoke fluent Spanish, something I learned so I could communicate better with patients, but I’d never been to Spain, Cuba, or Puerto Rico, places I’d always wanted to see for myself.
I pictured walking on the beach, watching others run with the bulls (because I’m not about to do that myself), traveling down cobblestone streets in the passenger seat of a retro-chic, pastel-colored convertible from the fifties, with the smell of Cuban cigars lingering in the air.
And in my fantasy, I couldn’t help but imagine that it was Alex in the driver’s seat, holding the wheel with one hand and mine in the other.
But then the reality of what he said echoed back:
“If you think I’m the kind of man who would play you like that, then you don’t know shit about me. Either that, or you are so determined to make something out of nothing, you’ll grasp onto any lie in order to not have to deal with what’s between us, even after all these years.
“You skipping out on us back then sucked, but believe it or not, there was a part of me that understood. I knew you didn’t have a lot of experience. I’m not talking sex. I mean, with relationships. It was excusable because you were young and didn’t know shit about life. But you’re thirty-six now, Jenny. Don’t you think it’s time to take a seat at the grown-up table?”
I had stormed off, too wrapped up in my righteous indignation to hear him.
I didn’t know it until right then, but in the process of accusing him of being a player, I was the one actually playing games.
I was one hot mess. What was worse was, I didn’t know how to fix it. But I knew nothing was going to change just sitting around my office, pretending to get work done.
And then, someone knocked on my office door.
No one comes around this late at night.
“Come in.”
The door opened, just as I swiveled around to say, “How can I help you?”
It was Bridgett.
She was wearing an outfit better suited for the club, one of those skintight bandage dresses, but even I had to admit that she looked beautiful, like she had just come off an Instagram shoot.
“Hey, Dr. Price,” she said, hanging in the doorway.
I let out a sigh. “Call me Jen. Come in.”
Her jaw dropped for a second, but she quickly recovered herself, closing the door and taking a seat across from me.
She kept her hands folded in her lap, like a schoolgirl in trouble at the principal’s office. “So, I’m guessing I’m probably the last person you want to see right now.”
I gave a small smile. “It’s okay. Let’s talk.”
Both her brows shot up.
“I promise, I won’t stay long,” she said, crossing her legs. I couldn’t help but notice her shoes: metallic straps with five-inch heels. She wore them with ease, as if she was born wearing them. Of course, I’d probably break an ankle just trying them on.
“I just wanted you to know: nothing happened between Dr. Petrinov and me.”
Deep down, I knew that to be true, but I still didn’t know what to say.
But she did.
“Listen, I’m not deaf and dumb. I know what people say about me and Ashley ’round here.”
I pondered that. “You know, if you were a man, you’d be revered. They’d say you were ‘the man’ and a real heartbreaker. You get that, right?”
Her lips parted. “I don’t…I mean…thanks,” she said, looking at me up and down. “Do you mind if I ask you something?”
“Sure.”
Her head tilted. “Why don’t you ever go out with anybody? You’re beautiful and so smart, and everyone likes you here. You can have anyone.”
“So can you,” I told her. I wasn’t comfortable talking about me.
She studied her shoes. “You don’t need to say that, Jen, although it’s sweet of you. I had wanted something to happen between us, but he’s made it crystal that’s never going to be.”
I’d be lying to myself if I didn’t admit her confession made me all kinds of happy.
“I don’t have any claim to him, either, by the way,” I told her.
Her head jerked. “You don’t really believe that, do you?”
“I do, actually, because it’s true,” I said.
She barked out a laugh. “Well, then maybe you’re the one deaf and dumb, because the minute he saw you again, everyone realized he already belonged to you.”
My mouth went dry. “What do you mean?”
She gave me an “oh please” look. “Now who’s playing dumb?”
“Paging Dr. Price. Come to the ER stat. Dr. Price to the ER stat.”
That’s weird.
“You better go,” she said, getting up while pulling down her dress. “Thanks again for seeing me. I’d hate it if things were weird between us. I know you defend me when others talk shit. That means a lot to me.”
“I’m glad too,” I said. And it was true. She smiled and started walking out of my office.
“Hey, Bridge?”
She turned around.
I smiled for real this time. “Thanks for coming by. That couldn’t have been easy.”
She smiled back. “A word of advice?”
Oh crap. “Sure,” I said.
“Don’t let him go. Second chances don’t come around very often.”
“Paging Dr. Price, Dr. Jennifer Price. Code Blue. Code Blue.”
“I won’t. Shit, I have to—”
“Go,” she said. “Good luck.”
I grabbed my phone and closed the door, then jogged over to the elevator bank. None of them were close to my floor.
“Attention Dr. Price. Code Blue. Code Blue. Report to the ER stat.”
The callout was unusual. Code Blue meant there was an adult in emergency, needing immediate medical attention, but I was a radiation oncologist. I didn’t handle those kinds of cases, which meant I must know someone coming through the ER.
A cold dread started closing in, one I had experienced one time before.
She had died in my arms. She fought the cancer for years, but her dying still came as a shock, scooped me out until I was hollow. For a long time, I was a shell. Empty. Orphaned.
Ohmygod, what if it’s Gabrielle? She had texted me earlier, saying after church and brunch, she and Darius were going to take a long country drive. Get out of the city. Clear their heads and enjoy each other. But what if they had a wreck?
I skipped the elevator and bolted for the stairs. I was on the ninth floor, and the ER was on the first, but it didn’t matter. It was like I flew down each flight, skipping two to three steps at a time. I passed the eighth, the seventh. I almost twisted my ankle on the sixth and cursed all the way through the fifth and fourth. By the time I got to the third, I was practically sliding down the railings, my feet suspended as my hands slid down the second and, finally, to the first.
All my weight crashed against the double doors’ metal bar as they flew open, hitting against the walls. Most everyone I saw was part of the emergency room crew. I scanned the faces, determining who would be able to get me information the fastest. I was sweating, my heart a bullet train. I was having difficulty taking in a full breath.
And then, like magic, there was Gabrielle, standing by herself. I scanned her from head to toe.
All the tension left me, and I bent over, pressing my palms into my thighs, trying to catch my breath.
&nbs
p; “Oh, thank God, you’re okay!” I said in between gulps of air. “I didn’t—I was afraid… I heard the page over the loudspeaker, and all I kept seeing was you in that deathtrap of a car with Darius, smashed in a fiery crash off some country road.”
She didn’t say anything, but her expression was pained.
“What is it? What’s wrong?” I asked, standing up straight, walking over to her. “Is Darius hurt? What’s going on?”
She grabbed my hands. Hers were ice.
“Honey, it’s Alex.”
I didn’t understand. “What about Alex? What does he have to do with Darius getting in a wreck?”
She sucked in air, squeezing my hands. “Darius is fine. He wasn’t the one in an accident tonight: it was Alex, honey. A truck barreled down the highway, going the wrong way. It was a head-on collision.”
The ground beneath my feet started crumbling. I reached out to grab a railing that wasn’t there. I stumbled, but Gabby held firm.
“The driver was drunk, a point four. I don’t know how he was able to stand up, much less get into that truck and drive. He was going down the wrong way on Route 22. The truck driver was declared dead at the scene. Alex is in critical condition.”
My ears were buzzing, making everything whoosh, like I was underwater.
“What did you say?”
She took a grounding breath, placing her hand on my shoulder. “I need you to hold it together. For Alex. Can you do that for me?”
“You’re my sister,” I said automatically. “I’d do anything for you.”
Tears welled in my friend’s eyes. “Right back at you.” She paused, shoring herself. “Honey, you should know…it’s bad. He was wearing his seatbelt—and his reflexes were fast, but a semi coming at him…”
I couldn’t hear that right then. “Who’s his doctor?”
She grimaced. “It’s someone named Reinbus. I’ve never heard of him before.”
I ran over to the nurses’ station, recognizing a few faces—a good sign, considering top crews don’t usually work nights.
“Rosie, call Will right away. Let him know Alex Petrinov, our new head of ortho surgery, is here, and he needs to get here yesterday. Then have someone call a member of Alex’s family. Get the info from HR and contact them directly—page Bridgett, she’s in the building. You and only someone you trust, got it?”
