“See you at eight.” Micah turned and walked toward the waiting limo.
“How’s it going?” Jessica plopped down in one of the chairs in front of Pamela’s desk.
“I don’t know.” Pamela looked down at her watch. “It’s one o’clock there; the funeral should be over by now. I hope he’s okay.”
“All you can do is pray for him.”
“I’ve been praying for my baby all day,” Pamela said softly with a blank stare on her face.
Jessica’s eyebrows shot up. “I was talking about Micah, not Matthew,” she teased.
Pamela caught the pun, but remained serious. “Jess, I don’t know what I’m going to do. I called him repeatedly yesterday, but he won’t answer or return my calls. I’m so worried about him.”
Jessica leaned forward on her elbows. “Are you really worried about him, or are you worried he’s rekindling his relationship with his old lover?”
Normally, Pamela hated it when Jessica was so frank, but today it didn’t bother her. Pamela looked her friend dead in the eyes and spoke the truth. “I am not worried at all about Micah rekindling anything with Richard Lewis. Micah is healed and delivered. Micah is a strong and powerful man of God. I’m worried because he’s grieving and I’m not there to comfort him.”
“Hallelujah!” Jessica shouted. “Girl, you have finally got it! I should have told Micah to break up with you a long time ago.”
“Whatever.” Pamela shrugged her shoulders. “I’ve finally got it, but now I don’t have him.”
“You will, but you’re going to have to work hard to convince him to open up to you again. But it’s nothing a lot of knee-ology can’t fix.”
“I have the praying part covered, but how do I get him to talk to me?”
Jessica picked up Pamela’s phone and began dialing.
“Who are you calling?”
“Someone who knows how to get a lot more than talk from a man,” Jessica replied.
Chapter 27
Richard fingered his hair in the mirror. He smiled at his reflection. By his estimation, he looked good for his forty-nine years. Life had treated him well. He pastored a growing church, had money, all the material possessions he desired, and tonight, he would have Micah again.
Richard grinned at that thought. He’d been with many men, but Micah had always been his favorite. If Richard believed in falling in love, he would argue that he loved Micah. But Richard didn’t believe in loving anyone other than himself. He did harbor a strong emotional tie to Micah. That was probably why he still wore that ring on his right index finger. That could be the reason he searched relentlessly for Micah after his disappearance. There was even a soft moment when Richard gave up and cried, fearing Micah was dead. But now, Micah was back.
Richard couldn’t explain the euphoria he felt when Micah stepped into Lula Murphy’s kitchen. He had to hold on to his chair to keep from jumping up and embracing him. Tonight, he wouldn’t hold back. Tonight, he would make up for the two lost years.
Micah dreaded stepping into Richard’s house, but he didn’t have a choice. He was certainly a creature of habit, Micah thought as he scanned his surroundings. Like the man himself, the house hadn’t changed. The paint and the furniture were the same. Richard’s house even smelled the same and sounded the same. Richard always kept jazz playing somewhere in his home, and tonight was no exception. He also loved black silk pajamas, which was what he was wearing when he answered the door.
At the sight of his former lover, Richard reached for Micah and attempted to embrace him, but Micah quickly moved to the right and stepped around him. Richard didn’t take offense to the maneuver; he knew he’d get what he wanted before the night was over.
Richard offered him something to drink, but Micah refused. He offered him some food, and Micah refused again. Then Richard offered him a seat next to him on the couch. Micah accepted the offer, but chose to sit in the chair five feet away from Richard.
“Micah, why do you insist on running from me? You know that’s what you’re doing, don’t you? You’re not really free of our bond; if you were, you wouldn’t mind being close to me. You wouldn’t mind me touching you,” Richard stated in that familiar calm voice.
Micah sighed. “Richard, I’m not afraid of you. I don’t have any reason to run from you. It doesn’t matter what you think; unlike you, I am free.”
Richard leaned his arm on the couch rest and smirked. “You’re confusing freedom with fear. You’re scared, Micah. I can see it in your eyes. You’re scared of how I make you feel. You’re scared that one night with me and you won’t go back to that woman. I believe her name is Pamela?”
Micah lowered his head, not because Richard was right, but because his heart had been longing for Pamela all day. At times, he even thought he felt her presence.
Richard continued. “Tell me, does she make you feel half as good as I made you feel? Do her kisses feel like mine, and does she touch you like I can?” Micah remained quiet. “Of course not, I was your first, and I’ll be your last.” Richard leaned forward and whispered as if telling a secret. “I bet when you’re having sex with her, you’re thinking about me. I know I was thinking about you when I was with my wife. Sex with a woman is good, but it’s nothing compared to what we had.”
Micah shook his head but didn’t voice any words. Richard didn’t need to know he and Pamela were not having sex or that they were no longer together.
“How is Brenda?” Micah needed to take control of the conversation, but he also wanted to know if she had recovered.
Richard shrugged his shoulders. “She must be doing fine since she cashes my alimony checks every month. I haven’t seen her since she moved back to North Carolina. The kids say she’s doing okay,” he lied. Richard was a professional and a certified liar. He lied all the time to get what he wanted, and he was lying now. Truth was, Brenda never fully recovered from her breakdown. She only moved back to North Carolina so her sister could look after her. After the divorce, Brenda would be seen walking up and down the streets of Chicago talking to herself at all times of night and day.
“Micah, I don’t want to talk about Brenda or Pamela. I want to talk about us. Why did you leave without telling me?”
Micah allowed himself to relax in the chair. Richard took that as a sign of him weakening his position and moved to the opposite end of the couch.
“The only way I could leave was without you knowing. You would have never allowed me to freely walk away.”
Richard’s face attempted to portray innocence. “Micah, I didn’t physically hold you here against your will.”
“No, you didn’t, but you did an outstanding job of keeping my mind so twisted I couldn’t decipher right from wrong.”
Richard seemed to like that analysis and stood to his full height. “Why are you here now? Is your mind still bound, or do you physically want me like I want you?” He walked over and stood over Micah and placed his hands on Micah’s shoulders. “It’s meant for us to be together. Why else would God send your mother to my church, and then before she could move away, He took her to heaven, thus, sending you back to me?”
A few years ago, that type of warped thinking would have worked on Micah, but not today. Micah removed Richard’s hands from his shoulders and leaned forward with his elbows resting on his knees and spoke as clearly as possible.
“Richard, I don’t want you. I didn’t want you back then, and I definitely don’t want you now. I’m only here now because of David.”
Richard stepped back, confused. “What does David have to do with anything?”
Micah stood to his feet before making his demand. “I want you to leave him alone.”
Richard laughed uncontrollably, almost hysterically. He leaned against the side of the couch and held his stomach. Micah didn’t know what to expect next.
“Let me get this straight,” Richard started once his laughter subsided. “You don’t want me, but you don’t want anyone else to have me? If this is not a relat
ionship, I don’t know what is. It’s all right though, a little jealousy makes it all the more fun.”
Micah threw his hands up. There was no way of getting through to him. “He s just a kid, leave him alone. If you want to practice homosexuality, then do it with a consenting adult, but leave that innocent kid alone.”
“I bet you would like to be that consenting adult.” This time when Richard winked, Micah became angry.
“Richard, keep your dirty hands off that kid!” Micah yelled.
Richard quickly sobered. This was the first time Micah threw a demand at him with such force. Now he didn’t know what might happen next.
“He’s an innocent kid with his whole life ahead of him, and that life includes women, not a nasty old man pretending to be a man of God!” Micah knew he struck a nerve. Richard’s eyes darkened, and his nostrils flared.
“Who do you think you are? How dare you question my relationship with God. I am His servant!”
“Richard, you don’t know God!” Micah answered. “Sure, you know what His Word says, but you don’t do the things it takes to get to know Him, like living His Word. If you really knew Him, you wouldn’t feel comfortable preaching and turning out young men at the same time!”
“Don’t act like you didn’t get anything out of it!” Richard didn’t even try to deny it. “I took care of you very well!” he sneered.
“You almost caused me to take my life! If I hadn’t called my mother that morning, I would be dead right now! That’s how much I hated myself for being with you! Don’t drag David into that hell!”
It was then Richard realized his memories with Micah were just that, memories. The control he once had over Micah was gone. But he wasn’t going to grant Micah anything. No, if Richard couldn’t get what he wanted, then neither would anyone else.
“I’m going to have some fun with David. He reminds me of you in so many ways—young, stupid, and ripe for the popping.”
Micah shook his head. “You’re sick!”
“Then why don’t you lay hands on me and heal me,” Richard mocked.
Micah walked over to the fireplace and stared up at the portrait of Richard in his ministerial robe with Bible in hand. He lowered his head as if he were praying. “I’m not going to let you ruin that kid,” Micah stated when he finally turned around to face his enemy.
“You don’t have to let me do anything. David’s not the second, fifth, or even tenth young male I’ve broken in, and he won’t be the last.”
For the first time, Micah saw that Richard got a thrill from destroying the innocent. It was to him what gasoline was to a car. Micah thanked God once again for protecting him from HIV. Despite his perversion, Richard always had enough sense to practice “safe sex.”
“Richard, I’ll stop you.”
“And just how do you plan on stopping me?” Richard questioned with a smirk.
“I’ll tell everyone what you’re doing, including the church.”
The hysterical laughter returned, but this time, it carried with it superciliousness.
“Who do you think they’re going to believe—the son of a drunk, or me, their beloved pastor?”
Micah flinched at his words, but held his ground. “They’ll believe the truth.”
“They’ll believe the truth I tell them, just like they believed me when Brenda left. I had the entire board convinced she had committed adultery. After all, I am a man of God, and people believe what I say. You’d be surprised at how much influence I have once I place that collar around my neck and don a robe.”
“You’re not a man of God; you are a confused man who needs God,” Micah said sadly. “You’re a forty-nine-year-old man who’s so insecure with himself that you have to manipulate and seduce young men to feel good about yourself. What’s really sad is, you’re not happy with who you are. You hide behind a robe and a Bible. You’ve lost your wife and destroyed people with your own lust, and the saddest part is you don’t even care.” Micah started for the door, then stopped. “Richard, I do want to thank you. Seeing someone as sad as you gives me a greater determination to live my life right. I refuse to end up like you.” Micah continued walking.
“My life is fine!” Richard barked. “I’m in control! I can do whatever I want! I can have whomever I want!”
Micah shook his head and grabbed the doorknob. “That’s not true anymore. You can’t have me, and you can’t have David.”
Micah slammed the door closed behind him and quickly walked down the steps. He walked down to the next block and climbed into the waiting van carrying his uncle, Ms. Lula, and her son.
“Did you get that?” Micah asked while removing the camera and microphone disguised as buttons from his shirt.
“Sure did,” Ms. Lula’s son, the former military surveillance specialist, answered. “We saw and heard everything.”
“How soon can we get copies of the tape?” Lula asked her son.
“Is now soon enough?” he answered and pressed the record button.
Chapter 28
“AC, man, where are we going?” Micah asked. “You just missed my exit.” AC and Pastor Jackson exchanged nervous glances. AC had picked them up from the airport and was supposed to be taking Micah to his apartment.
“I know, man, but First Lady cooked lunch and told me to bring you by before I take you home,” AC finally answered.
“Yeah, you know how your aunt can get after she’s spent all day cooking,”Pastor Jackson added without looking over his shoulder at his nephew.
Micah appreciated his aunt for wanting to make sure he ate a balanced meal, but all he wanted right now was a hot shower and his warm bed. The four-hour flight from Midway left him stiff and irritable, thanks to the crammed seats of the economy aircraft carrier and a crying infant on each side of him. “Man, take me home. I’ll stop by the house later.”
AC and Pastor Jackson looked at each other, then back at Micah.
“Son, why don’t you stop in and say hello. I’ll have your aunt pack you some food to take home with you. Then Anthony can drive you home,” Pastor Jackson suggested.
“Fine,” Micah conceded. He knew it was a lost cause. AC would do whatever Pastor Jackson wanted. Micah closed his eyes and tried to prepare his mind for a long afternoon. His eyes were still closed when AC pulled into the garage.
“Wake up, man.” AC reached over the seat and shook Micah.
Without so much as a mumbling word, Micah stepped from the car and walked through the garage and into his aunt’s kitchen. Pastor Jackson and AC quickly followed behind, leaving the luggage in the car.
Micah stopped midstride when he saw Pamela and Jessica helping his aunt set the table.
“Micah!” Matthew screamed and ran to him. “Sorry about your mother,” he said, “but I’m glad you’re back.” Matthew hugged him around the waist.
“Thank you, Matthew.” Micah squatted and returned his hug, but his eyes were on Pamela. She was beautiful in the lime-green square-neck dress he’d bought her for her birthday. Her curls loose, resting on her shoulders. He wondered what she was doing there.
“Hello, baby.” His aunt thought she would break the ice since she was the one who orchestrated this “chance” meeting between Pamela and Micah after Pamela called her, crying for help yesterday.
“Hello, Auntie.” Micah returned her hug.
“How are you holding up, baby?”
“It’s hard, but I’ll be fine.” Micah’s eyes were back on Pamela. His answer had a dual meaning. He guessed she caught it when she looked away.
“I know you will, baby. Now go wash your hands so you can eat.”
“Yes, ma’am.” Before leaving the kitchen, Micah greeted Jessica, but didn’t address Pamela. Matthew happily followed Micah.
“I don’t think this was a good idea,” Pamela said. “Micah won’t even speak to me.”
“In all fairness, he is grieving over his mother,” Pastor Jackson said.
“And he’s tired from his flight,” Jessica adde
d.
“He wanted to go straight home, but we talked him into coming by. Of course, he didn’t have a choice with Pastor in the car,” AC explained.
“But did you see how he just stared at me?” Pamela hung her head and pouted.
“What I saw was a hurting man who loves you. He’s hurting because he just lost his mother, but some of the hurt is from you rejecting him. But I’m not going to go there, because he is my nephew, and you know you were wrong.” First Lady narrowed her eyes at Pamela. “Now get yourself together and handle your business!”
“Yes, ma’am,” Pamela mumbled, then rolled her eyes at Jessica who was giggling behind Pastor Jackson.
Inside the bathroom, Micah listened to Matthew talk about the bike he wanted for his birthday, but his mind was on Pamela. He wasn’t prepared to see her. He was still trying to figure out what she was doing there. And why did she have to look so beautiful? She looked as inviting as her voice sounded on his voice mail yesterday.
“Are you still going to teach me to ride?” Matthew asked while drying his hands.
“Yes, little buddy.”
“When are you going to marry my mother?”
Micah stopped drying his hands and looked into Matthew’s expectant eyes. He couldn’t tell the boy he loved as a son that was not going to happen, at least not yet.
“We’ll talk about that later, all right?”
“Okay. I can’t wait for you to be my dad for real.” Matthew leaned into him.
Micah swallowed the lump in his throat. He didn’t know what to say, so he said nothing. He just took Matthew by the hand and led him back to the dining room.
Everyone was already seated, and, of course, Pamela sat between the last two empty seats. Micah looked around the table, but none of the culprits would make eye contact with him. He gave up and sat to the left of Pamela. The sooner he ate, the sooner AC could take him home.
During the meal, Micah and Pamela talked, but not to each other. Pamela tried to converse with him, but he would only give brief answers. When she asked him to pass her the salt, he did so without looking in her direction. When she asked him if he would like anything else, he responded by saying, “Not from you.” She started to leave, but Pastor Jackson shook his head and she sat back down. Micah also noticed everyone seemed to be eating faster than normal. That made him happy. The faster everyone ate, the sooner he could leave.
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