Treat (Terraway Book 5)

by Mary E. Twomey

“It’s what I was bred for, hani. Not many other options for sandwalkers.”

  “What about being a teacher at the Academy? Or running the Academy? If you think it’s being run wrong, do something about it.”

  He scoffed, and then seemed to consider it, his mouth drawing to the side. “I don’t have the patience for children. And sandwalkers? We’re a troubled bunch. It does something to you, being taken from parents who don’t know what to do with you. Being put in with a bunch of other boys with issues that most of them only know how to fight about, and you’ve got a recipe for disaster. I wouldn’t know the first thing about how to handle a kid like me.”

  “I think you turned out alright. But usually if something bothers you, like how the Academy gets under your skin, it means you might need to look into finding the solution yourself. Anything less will just make you feel… less.”

  Finn switched to rubbing my other foot, turning me into a pile of mush. “No one talks to me like you do.”

  “No one calls you King of the Ocean? I think you might need to off-with-your-heads a few people to make them fall in line.” I smiled at his chuckle that flowed easily in our enclosure. “Did you get to see your parents much after you graduated from the Academy?”

  Finn’s smile died, his eyes glazed over with duty I wanted to scrub away from him, shield him from and somehow make less painful. “My dad isn’t worth mentioning. I ran into my mom a few times. Last year she wanted to sell herself into the harem for food, but I turned her away.”

  My mouth fell open, and my hand stilled on his cheek. “Are you joking? Please tell me you have a horrible sense of humor.”

  “I don’t think she even knew I was her son. She hadn’t seen me since I was three.”

  My heart tugged in my chest, leaping out at him as I hugged his head tight to me, kissing his hair and wishing I could actually help him somehow. The healing waters only went so deep. Would that there was a soul cleansing that might wipe away the stain something like that would leave on a man’s psyche.

  I didn’t realize there’d be more. Once Finn opened his locked vault, too many secrets spilled out. It’s like he’d been waiting for a friend, someone to share his life with, and that person just so happened to be holding him in the comfort of his bed. “It gets worse. When she was begging for a place in the harem, she said she would be willing to bear the king’s child. Give him another heir.” He breathed through the emotional pain. “It was all just to make sure she stayed fed. Banak wouldn’t starve the mother of his child. It was a smart move on her part.” He let out a humorless snort. “At least I know where I get my ability to make a solid plan from.”

  “Holy birth control, Batman. Are you serious? How would that even work?” But as I asked, the image came to me. “Oh, he can get a Mermaid pregnant using the conch shell.” I held him tighter, my heart breaking inside my ribs. His mother had unwittingly gone to her son so she could ask him to help her get used for her body, all so she could have another son. One that she wouldn’t have to give away.

  Finn patted my hand that was probably holding him too tight. “Banak’s sterile, so it wouldn’t have worked anyway.”

  “What? But he’s got a son. What about Prince Julius, that vicious blowhole who took Von?”

  “I forgot Von told you about that. Well, Banak’s sterile as of the last five years. Banak doesn’t know he’s sterile though.”

  “Are you serious? How do you know he’s sterile, but he doesn’t?”

  Finn’s voice lowered, and he stopped massaging me to hold my foot. “Because I ground up the kutad root myself and fed it to him without his knowledge. I sterilized him one day while bringing him his wine.” He sniffed. “I graduated top of the Academy, am second in command of Dagat, but he had me bringing his wine. When he started demanding more Mermaids and more, I knew I had to do something. I couldn’t feed his spawn as well as the harem. Plus, at the rate he was going, we’d have a sea of half-siblings, which would be a nightmare when they all grew up and tried to have their deformed and weird children. Banak doesn’t think long-term. It’s my job to think about our country.”

  “I really hate that guy.”

  “I’m just trying to make it so he doesn’t destroy us. So I let him screw himself into the ground while I take care of the things that need fixing. With him nice and distracted by the women I feed him, I can rebuild homes, my men can keep the peace, and I can make sure the things that need to get done are being seen to.”

  I didn’t know what to say to that. “There’s still no excuse for having a harem, Finn. I think you’re amazing for doing all that you do, for helping where you can, but you’re throwing a bunch of women under the bus in the process. There’s got to be a better way.”

  “The women volunteer themselves,” he spouted, miffed. “I need Banak happy and distracted. Otherwise my people, my land, we won’t make it. I do what I have to. I don’t expect you to understand that.”

  “I understand it all just fine. I’ve treated my fair share of pimps. But there’s a reason you wouldn’t let your mother join the harem, and a reason you wouldn’t let Banak take me in that sex dungeon. You know it’s wrong.”

  A veil of you-went-too-far fell over Finn’s expression. Finn dropped my leg and knelt over me, inching toward the edge of the round bed. “I’ve got to go. Stay here and don’t go near the door, no matter who knocks. Don’t open it for anyone, understood?”

  “Finn, I’m sorry. I pushed too hard. I pissed you off.”

  “It’s fine. Your new Duwende’s probably waiting, so I’ve got to go pick him up from the shore. I’m locking you in, so don’t trust anyone on the other side but me, and I’ve got the only key.”

  “Please, Finn. I didn’t mean to upset you. You’re right. A harem’s the most logical option.” Logical, yes. Right? No. “I just think you’re smarter than this.”

  His eyes sharpened. “You think you’re so clever. You’re responsible for you, and that’s all.”

  “Are you kidding me?” At this, I knelt on the bed before him just so I didn’t feel so small. This didn’t totally remedy that, but my fire came back a little, so that was something. “Everything rests on me! I can’t go to my regular job or have any kind of a life. Some days I can’t even eat! Everyone needs me to give up my life so Terraway can survive. Don’t tell me about responsibility. You have one country to answer to. One. I have all of them! You have choices, Finn. You can think of a way that doesn’t throw your mom into Banak’s bed. You’re second in command because you’re smart and capable, not because you take the easy way out. With your curse gone, you finally got your conscience back. Friggin’ use it.”

  Finn’s mouth dropped open at clearly being bested, chastised and complimented all at once. “I don’t know what to say to that.”

  I was angry, my logical argument shifting to indignation as I started talking animatedly with my hands. “Don’t say anything. Don’t do anything different. Let your women be miserable and scared. Women can live like that forever, right? We can take it. You’re not creating a powder keg of garbage that’s going to explode in your face the second they get themselves organized. You’re not a sitting duck staring down the barrel of oh-holy-crap.”

  “You don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m in control of it. There won’t be any uprising.”

  My finger flew in his face as I thought about Von being pimped out to Banak’s son. “You’re destroying Dagat just as much as Banak is.”

  Okay, in hindsight, not the best thing to say to a military captain.

  In a move so quick, I couldn’t brace myself for it, Finn swiped at the backs of my thighs from where I knelt facing him. He pulled my thighs forward and up, upending me and landing me with an “oof!” on my back. Finn hovered over me, nostrils flared, and I watched him debate just how angry he’d allow himself to get with me. “Your mouth’s run its course.”

  Then he got up, tore open the curtains and pulled a shirt over his head, dressing for the day in angry, jerky
movements accompanied by an unforgiving sneer.

  Well, that’s one way to solve the problem of Finn being in love with me.

  Thirty-Two.

  Keeping Busy with Eustace

  With Finn gone, I was free to move around his home and explore. I hadn’t had many days off, and even fewer were spent alone. I relished the luxury of the quiet, my ocean view the perfect setting for reading a good book, or just sitting quietly with my breakfast.

  I knew I was hungry, but the second the cheese hit my mouth, my stomach was immediately up in arms, forcing the food out of me and into the toilet. “What the crap?!” I exclaimed to no one, angry that even with no reaping and nothing to keep me from eating, I still couldn’t choke down much food. After about half an hour of putting my frustration to use cleaning Finn’s already decently clean bathroom from top to bottom, I managed to stomach a few pieces of plain bread. That perked me up enough to fish through Finn’s bookshelf for something to read.

  That’s when I learned that the residents of Dagat had their own written language. While we spoke the same, we didn’t write the same, which was a bummer. I opened each of his books, smiling when I finally found a text with English on one side and the Mer equivalent on the other. It was like figuring out a code, which was a game I was totally up for.

  I opened the bed curtains all the way and made myself a cozy reading nook with the pillows atop the soft bed. Everything smelled like Finn. Finn smelled like ocean and aftershave, which as it turns out is a very delicious combination. I tucked in with my book, which wasn’t anything particularly gripping. It was an account of how the Academy was founded, and the history surrounding the school. It was all told in boring, stuffy textbook language, which I didn’t mind too much. I sifted through as many chapters as I could, scribbling on the backside of Finn’s parchment the words I picked up as I learned them by process of elimination and a little guesswork.

  The Academy was founded by some jag named Eustace Degault, who thought that boys needed the childishness beaten out of them with a thick reed for the younger ones, and a legit cane for the older ones. There was a whole section on the legislation for discipline, which was more archaic than actually helpful in raising children to be good men. Finn’s violent swings began to make more sense. I chewed on my bottom lip as I thought on the many angry crisscrosses I’d seen on his back before he’d dipped in the pool.

  Good old terrible Eustace Degault lasted me a couple hours until I was hungry again, and this time ate without barfing. It’s a little sad when a good day is one spent only partially over the toilet. After that, I cleaned Finn’s dining room, organizing a few haphazard items, but his stuff was, for the most part, in order.

  My hands started to itch, so I put them to work again, this time cleaning his living room – dusting, polishing, mopping, straightening and doing anything else to keep myself from gouging up my freshly healed hands. I checked them over and over, making sure they were still amazing looking. I couldn’t even remember what they looked like not marked up; it had been so long. I wanted to be different now. This was my second chance, and I was bent on making my undamaged skin last.

  My muscles were sore from the healing waters cleaning out my wounds and rebuilding what was broken in my body, but I managed well enough. I scrubbed every surface, and when I was finished, stuck my palms to the concrete floor, breathing in guttural snorts like a bison so I didn’t start scratching my arms or counting random objects. I didn’t want the numbers to comfort me. I didn’t deserve comfort. I’d gotten Bishop killed. I bathed in the feeling of loss, of guilt and every other bad thing so Von would know he didn’t have to start from scratch if he felt like laying into me. I’d wrecked his favorite brothers, getting one killed and leaving the other without his twin match.

  When I finally got my neurosis under control with a lot of deep breathing, I went back to my cheat sheet and selected another book, since I’d had my fill of Eustace Degault, the lousy crackhole. The books Finn had were printed on vellum, which I’m guessing had a fair amount of waterproofness to it, since it survived in here. The series of carats, squiggles and foreign symbols were slowly developing a system in my mind, giving my need to put things in order a purpose. I would learn the language, so help me. I wouldn’t be totally dependent on Finn. Reading was power. That had been drilled into me by Judge and Allie from a very young age.

  Allie, who didn’t want me. Allie, who left us because we were too much to handle. Because I was too much. My heart ached for Ollie, knowing that he would be freaking out until I was home safe. I felt bad for Ezra, who no doubt was trying to keep Ollie together, manage a funeral for a family member of two of his three Reapers, and protect his fading daughter, who was shouldering the brunt of Omen duties. I felt like such a tool for making a sick woman work, and by proxy, a man who’d just lost his brother, but there was literally nothing I could do about it. It wasn’t like me to run when there was work to be done, but it wasn’t like I could swim back to remedy the problem.

  From what I could tell, the second book was a collection of poetry about the sea, though because the language was new to me, nothing rhymed and there was no meter. I liked meter and predictability, so these took some getting used to. They were pretty all the same, telling stories about the roughness of the waves and comparing that to a tryst with a grateful lover. I got the shivers a few times. I missed Von terribly, though I tried not to expect anything would be the same between us.

  I hadn’t been able to visit him in my dream. That either meant that we hadn’t been asleep at the same time, or more realistically that he wasn’t in love with me anymore. My anxiety was running high, surrounded by the ocean I couldn’t swim through. I was trapped in a safe house so flying bat women didn’t come and snatch me up into the sky to carve up my body just for kicks.

  I totally remember when my worst fears were of getting stabbed in the prison triage.

  I made myself another cheese sandwich, selecting a piece of fruit to round out my meal. I was determined not to get sick this time. My stomach wasn’t nearly as sensitive anymore, but I paced myself as I migrated to Finn’s soft bed. I chewed slowly while I read to keep my mind occupied, so I didn’t slip into destructive patterns.

  I fell asleep after I finished my sandwich, curled around my book and the language key I’d been cracking away at all afternoon. I hoped to find Von, but knew better than to count on it.

  Thirty-Three.

  Finn’s Provision

  I awoke to lips on my cheek, warming me to the sensation of being loved and feeling that rare thing called “safe”. Safety had for so long been elusive to me, so my body cried out for it even before I was fully awake. I kissed the cheek that brushed up against mine, wrapping my arms around the glow I needed while I was so completely lost. “Hey,” came the voice that was certainly not Von’s. “I missed you, too.”

  The bliss started to crumble the second I dared believe it was real. Von wasn’t here, nor had he come to me in my dream, the details of which I couldn’t remember anyway. I slowly released Finn, who looked radiant at the warmth of my greeting. I felt awful that I’d made him so happy by accident. I managed a wan smile as he gazed down at me, his hand palming my chin in that oddly possessive way he had. His thumb dragged on my jawline as I tried to form a coherent sentence. “Sorry. I must’ve dozed off.”

  “I was gone longer than I expected. Business to see to for Banak. Then Garrick wasn’t keen on me breathing for him, so I had to secure us a boat.”

  “Garrick?” My eyebrows pulled together in confusion.

  “Garrick’s the Duwende I hired to pull for you until we can get you home.” Finn lifted me up gently, as if I was as fragile as Mariang and needed the coddling. I appreciated the gesture, but didn’t linger in his arms. “What’s all this?” Finn asked of the book and parchment that shifted as I sat on the edge of the bed next to him. “You can’t read my books.”

  “Oh, I’m sorry. Were they off limits or something? I didn’t realize. I can
keep my hands off your stuff from now on.”

  “No, of course I don’t care about that. It’s just that they’re written in Mer, which I’m guessing isn’t a language they teach in your schools.”

  “I’m trying to figure out your language, but it’s a slow go. I don’t mind, though. It’s kind of fun decoding it all.”

  “Decoding?” He picked up the parchment, his eyes widening. “You wrote these? This is a key?”

  “Well, yeah. I had to make a master list of the basic alphabet. It’s too many weird characters to remember without writing it all down. After that, it got a bit easier.” I picked up the book of poetry. “I’ve been entertaining myself with your collection of sexy sea poems. Never pegged you as the romantic limerick type, but you surprised me with all this flipper flapping foreplay and seashell sexiness.”

  Finn took the book from my hands and blushed – actually blushed that I’d found his tender spot beneath the healed scars and armor he generally used for killing off zombies and whatnot. “Alright, alright. I’ve got other books you can read. I don’t know how this got here. I think it was a gift or something.”

  I grinned at his mortification, elbowing his side. “Aw! You’re actually embarrassed I found your saucy poetry book?”

  “Well, I never let anyone into my space, and I didn’t expect you of all people to be able to read Mer in less than a day. How’d you even manage that?”

  “I didn’t. I mean, I’m still learning. Maybe you could teach me?”

  Finn looked at me, amused at my eager desire to understand part of his culture. “I guess that’d be okay. Later tonight, though. We have a guest.” He glanced down at my arms, running his finger over the skin that used to be scarred. “Still smooth? I was worried you’d undo the healing waters with an afternoon left unchecked.”

  My nails dug into the bed to keep my hands from acting out on my skin. “I’m dealing, and I don’t need a babysitter.”