“Give me a name, Finn.”
“He was doing his job. I’ve outgrown the pain of it all.”
“I want his name. If he’s hurting kids, if he hurt you, I want his job on a silver platter. I mean it. I want him dethroned, fired, ousted – all of it.”
Finn shook his head at me like I was trying to be cute or something. “None of it matters anymore, though I appreciate you fighting for me.”
I crawled around so I was sitting in front of him on the bed. Cupping his cheeks, I stared him down so he could see I meant business. “It all matters. You matter, Finn. If he’s beating children who’ve already been ripped away from their parents, he deserves a cage, not a paycheck. I’m serious. I’ll talk to Banak myself and see that this is taken care of.”
He searched my eyes for something he could latch onto. “You can’t say things like that and expect me to believe you don’t love me.” He pulled me closer so I was straddling his lap. Platonic friends do that, right? “You’ll stay far away from Banak. Do you understand that? If he’s in the palace, you’re in my home. I want you miles away from him.”
“I’m an Omen, right? That holds some kind of clout?”
He chuckled as he trailed his fingers up my thighs. “You’re about as powerful as Ezra. You can demand whatever you like of me or any of the lands.”
“Your old headmaster, he’s still running the Academy, beating the children like this?” I reached around him and traced a scar I remembered on his body that was no longer there.
“Of course. If it works, why would they change the system?
“In the morning, I want you to give me the name of a soldier you trust. Someone who can raise the Kataw boys to be good men, not just obedient soldiers of death. I want that jag replaced, Finn. I mean it. Tomorrow the regime changes.” I took a chance and brushed my lips against his when I couldn’t resist his allure any longer, flirting with certain disaster. “People know you as Banak’s number two, but I want them to know you as a man who ends an administration of abuse. I want people to see you like I do. Save those boys from this, Finn. Let that be your legacy.”
This was either the wrong thing to say, or the very right thing. Either way, Finn closed the gap between us, that wasn’t much of a gap at all. His lips tugged on mine, and mine devoured his. I wanted, and he gave it in spades.
The colors slammed into me, the green and silver explosions demanding to know exactly what I thought I was doing. I ignored them with a flip of my hand, being careless as my need drove my tongue to wander into Finn’s mouth. The trumpets yelled at me to stop what I was doing, to think about Finn in all of this, but I was selfish and thought only of sating my own needs that had grown wanton and completely out of control.
I didn’t want complicated. I didn’t want kisses that were all or nothing. I wanted something beautiful, and Finn was very much that. His body was firm, but his will was pliable in my gentle hands.
Only I didn’t want to be gentle.
I pushed Finn backwards onto his mattress, locking his body underneath mine so I could peruse the parts that had been tempting me most. He let me steer the passion, which was completely out of my control when he offered up a helpless whimper that told me I was taking things way too far.
But still I wanted more.
I kissed him, sucking on his lower lip to draw out his moan. I pressed my body down atop his, letting him feel the curves that I tried to keep off the map. He hiked the nightshirt I wore up over my backside so he could squeeze and lightly slap the parts of me that teased him without mercy. I wasn’t in the mood to be merciful; I wanted more of him, always more.
It wasn’t until a well-timed knock on the door brought me out of my indulgence that the colors started to fade to reason. I wanted the colors. I wanted the music. I wanted to be swept away.
Just not all the way away, as Finn clearly was. His lidded eyes saw me in his hallucination, and mine saw only his bedroom bedecked in shimmering green and silver. “Just a second,” I answered the knock, standing up from the bed Finn was sprawled out on. I situated the shirt that fell to mid-thigh and cracked the door. “Hey, Garrick. What’s up?”
“I heard noise from in there and wondered if you needed another pull before I turned in for the night.”
“Oh, right. Thanks. That would be nice.” I let him do his job and felt a modest portion of the creeping anxiety slide out of me. “Have a good night.”
He bowed his head to me, which I would never stop finding totally strange. “Goodnight, Lady October.” Then he mouthed, Be careful.
I nodded, realizing I was going off into an abyss I might not find my way out of. Von had asked me to wait for him, to give him time. I’m not sure making out with Finn constituted as waiting. What’s more, I wasn’t sure I wanted to wait for someone I was in love with to decide when he’d be able to work a relationship with me into his schedule. I knew it was more complicated than that, but none of Von’s many reasons for keeping me on hold made life any easier to accept.
I bid Garrick goodnight again and sank down onto the floor, my back resting on the door. Too many things reminded me that I didn’t have a life that welcomed a burgeoning relationship. Danger seemed to stalk me, and I didn’t want that for Finn.
“You’re doing it again. Have Garrick pull a little harder.”
“Doing what?”
Finn pointed to my arms. “You’re scratching your hands. What’s got you so on edge?”
“Other than my Reaper’s brother dying in my arms? Other than getting kidnapped, stripped down and carved up? Other than being without my Pullers?” I paused, considering his question and just how honest I wanted to be with the man I was sharing sheets with. “I’m more than a week off my meds, Finn. Those healing waters really did a number on me. Without that, I would be rocking in the corner, tearing my skin and counting things until I drove myself crazy. Actually crazy. I’m doing a lot better than I would’ve been without a Puller and the healing waters, but some things about me can’t be fixed.”
“What can I do? Do you want me to let Garrick sleep in here?” His expression twisted with disdain at sharing our alone time with another man.
“No, no. It’s fine. Or it’s not fine, but it’s certainly not fixable. I need to keep my hands busy, or I’ll start scratching them again.” I admired my skin that was smooth and looked brand new. “They’re so pretty now. I don’t want it to all fall apart.” I eyed him and twirled my finger toward the bed. “Lie face-down. Would it be okay if I rubbed your back?”
His eyebrow raised like I’d just asked him if he enjoyed surfing. “Of course. I already told you; my body belongs to you – especially if you want to massage it. You don’t have to, though.” I could tell by the new light in his green eyes that he was very much looking forward to it.
“It’ll keep me from accidentally kissing you. Bad habit I seem to’ve picked up. Plus, you work hard. It’s not good for you to carry around so much stress.” I lifted the bottle of oil from the nightstand that he used when he massaged my feet every night. I drizzled a little onto my hands to warm it. I talked myself through the germs I knew would coat my hands, and waited for Finn to lie down. “Tell me about work.”
I hadn’t given a whole lot of massages, so I took my time on Finn, kneading and rubbing where his groans of pleasure and want led me. He had a fair amount of knots in his back, and I was determined to get each one out.
“I had another run-in with Atius of the Western Waves. I’m this close to just gutting him to be done with his attempts at an uprising. He wants to start a war against the throne for taking their women.”
“Can’t say I blame the guy for that.”
“Well, many of the women I took into the harem left to escape him and his men. He doesn’t so much take no for an answer. At least Banak feeds his women.”
“Ick. Why are there always sex offenders?”
“Oh, right there,” he moaned when I dug into a knot near his scapula. “Atius has these tattoos of waves
on his face that stretch all the way back over his bald head. The Mermaids are terrified of him, but he’s managed to bring in the most buhay for the kingdom, so Banak won’t let me kill him or lock him up. Plus, the danger Atius presents chases the women right into the harem, so win-win for Banak.”
“Have I mentioned how much I hate that guy?”
I tended to Finn’s back for nearly half an hour, repaying him for all the things he’d done to make my life better. I’m sure it was madness that drove me to plant small kisses on the back of his neck. I watched his body coil and stretch through his growing attraction.
When I was finally tired enough to sleep, Finn was a puddle of clumsy limbs he could barely lift without concerted effort. I kissed his temple and covered him with the blanket, sliding in beside him. “You saved my life back there from the Manas,” I whispered. “Thank you, Finn.”
“Don’t you know?” he mumbled, his eyes closed. “‘If you live, then I breathe.’”
I melted when he quoted the book to me, and wondered if anyone else knew the romantic Finn was at heart. “Goodnight, honey.”
“Run away with me,” he begged, just as Ricardo had done to Lissima in the book. Then Finn drew me closer so he could kiss my lips once more before he drifted off.
Thirty-Six.
Finn’s Downward Turn
I loved living with Finn. I’d put a kibosh on any further kissing, and the line was holding, however grudgingly. The uneventful evenings were followed by flirty foot and back massages while we read to each other the adventures of Ricardo and Lissima. Then we wrapped around each other to sleep.
The no kissing rule was a safeguard so Finn didn’t fall further in love with me, and so I could attempt to wait for my own self to get a clue and stop being so hung up on things I couldn’t have – a concept that was never appealing, but quite necessary.
Philip kept me company in my dreams while I waited for something real to come along. My dream guy was very concerned about my health. He was far more careful with me than he’d ever been. Though, he was my fake dream prince, so I suppose that’s how I wanted him to be – how I hoped to be treated while I came down from Serena and that whole mess.
A few nights I’d been entertaining Philip in my dreams, but as the days added up, Philip began to disappear. Then I was stuck reliving Bishop dying in my arms, our bodies bathed in blood and basement germs. Finn had shaken me awake those nights, holding me and not saying a word to damage my pride as I wept in the safety of his arms. I slept only because Finn was strong, and I knew in his home, I was safe. I hadn’t been safe in so very long.
Though Finn was a harbor for me, it wasn’t so much the case for our roommate. He didn’t speak kindly to Garrick, instead clicking his fingers when the stress got to be too much for me to handle. Garrick and I would mute our lively stories about clubs, cute boys and our various life adventures when Finn came home, making sure not to grin too loudly so as not to piss Finn off.
After two more weeks of the same routine, I’d had enough of Finn’s attitude when he barked at Garrick for chewing too loudly at the dinner table. “Dude, check your attitude. He’s allowed to eat,” I snapped, finally speaking up at Finn’s increasing black cloud.
“Eating is different than chomping like a Tikbalang.”
“Behaving like a child is different than conversing like an adult.”
Finn glared at me. “And how would you know? You’re nearly a decade younger than I am.”
I swallowed my fish uncomfortably at that blatant truth. “Then you should know better,” I countered, unfazed by his aggressive fork-holding. I waved off the anger that seemed to emanate off of him. “Relax your butthole, Finn. If work’s getting to you, don’t take it out on us.”
“You tell me to talk like an adult, but you say things like ‘relax your butthole’? What do you care about the state of my butthole?”
I choked on my wine, trying not to laugh while Garrick kept his eyes averted so as not to crack a smile. “I’m sure you have a beautiful butthole, Finn. But you’re acting like an ass. Just calm down.”
“I’m out,” Garrick ruled, unable to keep his high-pitched giggle to himself. He had a normal guy voice, but when he really got to laughing, this girly giggle bubbled out of him, which always made me chuckle. He all but ran to the bathroom to escape Finn’s wrath that lately was always just under the surface. What angered Finn most was my blasé attitude about the whole thing every time he lost his temper. He was used to people cowering, which I refused to do in the place I rested my head.
“Don’t tell me how to be or pretend you know a thing about my world. It’s because of you my job’s been uphill. It’s listening to you that’s made things awful. Don’t know what I was thinking, but it’s too late to back out now.”
“What are you talking about? I’ve been holed up in here for weeks! How could I possibly have ruined your life so dramatically from in here? You’re being a brat, and you were totally rude to Garrick, who’s been nothing but nice. I mean, seriously. Chewing? You need to try meditation.”
“Enough!” Finn pounded his fist on the table, making me jump. Garrick thrust himself out of the bathroom, his fight face on to match Finn’s as the great captain stood to tower over me. “Get out,” he seethed at Garrick.
“You know I can’t do that. You brought me here to make sure she was taken care of. If you’re the threat, I can’t leave you alone with her.”
“Oh, you can’t?” Finn’s eyes lit with a burning ember of cat-and-mouse, and I didn’t like it one bit. “Who are you to stand up to me?”
“I’m her Duwende,” Garrick challenged, rolling up his sleeves as he positioned himself between Finn and me.
“Garrick? Maybe you should give us a minute.” I worried about the unpredictable nature of Finn’s growing temper the last two weeks. I’d seen Finn in action on the battlefield. I wouldn’t let him unleash on Garrick, who promised to introduce me to Hamish and their two dogs if I ever visited him in London.
“Get out,” Finn snarled, chest puffed. He held his superior height and muscle mass as leverage over Garrick.
“You know I can’t do that. Not until you calm down.”
I saw the shift only seconds before it happened, which wasn’t enough time to move Garrick to safety. “Run!” I cried, trying to shove myself between the two just as Finn lunged for him. Finn accidentally knocked me sideways in his attempt to throttle Garrick. The regret on his face was obvious, and I debated letting out a scared scream so he could see the monster he was in that moment.
But see, I’d dealt with my fair share of monsters. When my scream stayed tucked inside me, my fist compensated by punching Finn in the kidney.
Garrick remained in control when Finn’s hands wrapped around his throat, choking him so hard his eyes bulged. I don’t know how Garrick had the fortitude to remember to pull when he was inches away from death, but that’s exactly what he did. Slowly, Finn’s grip loosened as reason reentered his brain. Garrick croaked for me to lock myself in the bedroom, but I think we both knew I wasn’t having any of that. “You think you can try to kill me with no repercussions?” Garrick yelled, kicking Finn in the side for good measure when he collapsed onto all fours. “Now you get to watch while I take your girlfriend and run her right back to Ezra, where she belongs.”
Finn tried to fight through the relaxation that had been shot into him against his will. “You take her, and it’ll be the last thing you do. I’ll kill Hamish without a blink, and make you watch while he bleeds out all over your perfect life.”
Garrick kicked Finn again, and I decided I’d had just about enough. “Stop it! It’s enough, Finn! What’s gotten into you? You know you can’t go attacking my Duwende like that. He didn’t even do anything wrong!” I watched physical pain mutate to emotional agony so quick, I dropped to my knees to get a better look at the waves of too much that crashed over him.
“Get in the bedroom, October,” Garrick cautioned as I took a chance and wrapped my
arms around Finn, lifting his upper half so I could hold him through his torment. “I’m serious. He just threw you across the room. He’s not safe.”
“That door won’t keep me safe if Finn’s determined.” I held Finn tight, letting him know that even though the burdens he shouldered were heavy, that I was strong enough to carry a few of them for him. “I’m here,” I assured him softly, turning the horrific scene into something tender I knew he wouldn’t want to shatter by shouting. I kissed his cheek, melting my sea monster into something more pliable as he came down from the aggression others had feared him for. “What’s got you so twisted?” I asked, my breath against his ear.
And just like that, Finn slumped in my arms, going from homicidal loon to broken puppy in the span of a sentence. “I tried! I tried to dismantle the harem. I tried to reason with Banak and tell him he only needed a few girls, the willing ones who didn’t want to leave and had nowhere else to go, but he wouldn’t have it.”
He sat up straighter, tugging me onto his lap when I refused to let go of him. I knew if I did, he might forget to be gentle and go after Garrick again. I wrapped both my arms and both legs around him, encircling him in the warmth of my body and the treasure of our odd friendship. “I didn’t know you did that. I’m so proud of you.”
“Yeah? Well, don’t be,” Finn said bitterly, returning my embrace with weakened arms, due to Garrick’s stellar pulling. “I’ve been sneaking women out of the harem for two weeks now, and he must’ve caught on.” He gripped me tighter, so tight I almost protested at the creak of my ribs as he fought off Garrick’s hard pull. “He took her! He took my mother into his bed. He sent out a guard, brought her in and roughed her up in his bedchamber. All week I’ve been listening to her screams filling the hallways of the palace.” He let out a strangled cry into my shoulder. “I can’t take it! I can’t take it! Banak’s torturing me for letting some of the women go! It’s what he did to Dyesebel when I wanted to leave the palace to go off and marry her. I know his game. I know it, and I can’t take it!”
Treat (Terraway Book 5) Page 20
